posted by Carolyn Ohme at 11:59PM

I had written the following awhile back (July actually) but wanted to add it in here, even if a little outdated...

"Good morning, today is a new day" Kill the Alarm

Lately, I have been making some life-altering decisions for myself. It's been awhile since I've put myself first in my decisions. Usually, I consider how it might affect my social life, work life, etc. but some things have occurred where I have experienced that I need to not do that. I need to think of what is best for me personally first then think of all the decisions that might affect others regarding it. I need to do what is right first, in general.

I continually ran my first 5K on July 4th for the Track Shack Watermelon Fun Run in Mead Park. It was very satisfying.after the fact. I was pretty much in complete amazement of how difficult it really was. I had begun my running program a year ago April and was running between 2-4miles almost everyday, on top of my normal tour exercise schedule (which always did vary) although my route hardly ever included the massive hills that I experience during the 5K as well as the tons of other people that I found myself "competing" with unintentionally. I find that regardless if I am trying to stay consistent with my pace and breathing, I am still trying to beat whoever I am running next to for time. That created a problem for me, but also had me at my best per mile time. I finished the 3.1 miles in 36.7 minutes where in a typically setting at being solo, keeping my own consistent pace and no hills included I would make a mile in about 13min or so. I shaved off a few minutes off my time, which made me smile..and also had me almost gagging at the Finish Line. I had never felt so sick after running, but it's true I pushed myself harder to complete my goal. Shannon finished with her run/walk method at about 49 minutes, which was great for her. I failed to mention we also walked a nice 2.4 miles to the race and a good 2.4 miles back to home from the race. Thought we would save gas, help the environment and get some additional exercise. I liked the warm up and cool down time, but it certainly added for a more exhausting day in general.

Going back a few days. After Shannon's bday, things kind of all happened at once. There were some crazy busy days in general, but I got through them. After working in the DSA office for a bit, headed out to see Mr. Pete Woj at The Social. He rocked it out and definitely was a rockstar in his own right. He completed the amazing preformance with an attempt to smash his guitar against the stage. Some pieces flew randomly but the job wasn't complete until Brooks grabbed it and smashed it against the floor of the Social. Then, it was complete. And I have a piece of it at home. *grin* Good times with Pete Woj as usual.

The following day, we hosted Tiffany Hull at The Studio Caf�. It was a great show. I was impressed by her showing of Guests for one, since she was coming from Chicago and also the fact that she only promoted it mostly by what looked like one avenue, but it was pretty good for what we could ask for. Her family and herself were very good people and made for a nice atmosphere and was an enjoyable night altogether. We like low-maintaince shows. Works for us completely.

On that Saturday, The Lighter Exchange was at The Social. Also playing that night was the amazing Cure for Caska and Dollface. They both were great as well, but The Lighter Exchange definitely made my entire night. They were, of course, the highlight. "How is this their second show ever and you know all the words?" It just works like that with us. *grin*

Back to today...

So I'm torn. I'm really happy and feel very fortunate in my life right now. Yet this one instance that occurred recently has made me feel like I'm nothing. I'm torn between letting it get to me or dismissing it like it never even happened. Is it even worth me thinking about it, over and over again? Doubt it, but then again why do I have this crummy feeling that randomly haunts me and brings me back to that moment?

"Are you not the slightest bit confused?
Just the truth
The speed at which we move blends so well
It's too soon

Separate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us
Push your way on to me, entirely
Stay away from me, stay away from me now
Less you gonna see, less you gonna see me out"

-"Stay Away" The Honorary Title

It sucks when one person can make you feel like the smallest person in the world, no matter how nice and open you try to be. Not even a glance. Not even a smile. Not even a hello. Not even a thought. Perfect. All I know is it's not my fault. It's not my issue and I shouldn't be blamed for this. Somehow I feel like I am. Funny though, I feel like if I had reacted differently or if I had pursued this opportunity a bit more, things would be a lot different. Not that it would be a more positive difference, but it would have been much different, regardless. Interesting thought though.

Lots has been going on lately. I got to have my JB boys back! Happiness. They came last minute before their HOB show and the day was just perfect, in general. A nice surprise to both of us and an amazing day. They are definitely some of the best people I know. *grin*

I also had a great, but crazy tour for a few days and things went pretty well for the most part. It was the first time that I was able to drive out on the tarmac of the private airport. Everyone was so great there in helping me too. Good times for sure!

CCMaD has been going well. I've been getting more requests than ever before and it's been more of a challenge making sure I can schedule everyone. I like the challenge. *grin* The shows have been getting better and busier each time we have them, which is so positive for us and the venue.

My friends have been the most amazing ever. I have met even more great people in the last few weeks and the more wonderful people I meet, the better time my social life becomes. I've been really happy with all my friends meeting their soulmates as of late as well. Seems like that time of year and that time in their lives. Such an interesting thing to be apart of. They totally deserve all the happiness in the world!

Randall visited last week and it was so great to finally meet "Bowie". It was a great week and I got to hang out with them a lot more than I thought, which was great! The bonding time was much-needed and the lack of sleep that I had obtained was totally worth it. I did get a tad bit overemotional with the goodbye, but it was just too early for me to say goodbye. Thanks to the wonderful Social boys for taking care of me that night. I heart Larry and Ray :) Good boys!

Other than some limited drama, all has been well. I've been working a lot lately, which is partly the reason that I haven't blogged in awhile, but such is life I guess.