Our time is borrowed and spent too freely
Every minute I have needs to be made up, but how?
I'm looking for a nice way to say "I'm out." I want out!
Don't it feel like sunshine afterall
The world we love forever, gone
We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are
-Jimmy Eat World "The World You Love"

I've been so busy lately that sometimes I just want to step out of everything and stop the world...just for a second so I can catch my breath, catch up with my life and be able to focus on things more clearly. I love my life, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it gets too complicated and mixed up to where you don't even know what to do next cause you have so much to do. I certainly don't think that I am the only one in this perdictament (in fact, I *know* four others girls who are!), but sometimes it makes you feel more alone when you can't catch up on your own...ever.

Lots has happened, obviously, since the last time that I have blogged. We hit the Florida Music Festival pretty hard and it was good times all around. Met up with Cali, Gino, Gianina and CMac at the Crooked Bayou. Good times there until heading over to see JF at Wall Street. "You'll never surrender yesterday.." Ran into some crazy kids. Saw Logan (my friend from work) looking like a hot boy-bander followed by DAX! How shocked was I to see the two of them together. Crazy. Found out they were playing a bit later so we took note and said we'd meet up later. Ran into the Big 10-4 boys briefly. Promoted for Matt Mackelcan's show at the Central Bar for later that evening. Met some cool peeps then headed out to see Matt. He had a great crowd and it was such a good time, they asked him to play the rest of the evening. Rock on!

Headed over to see David-Logan Brooks with Dax for open mic and he was amazing! Amazing voice, amazing stage presence (loved the winks...*grin*) and his "cherry posse" was really proud of him for rocking it! It was great to run into Dax again too....small world my friend. Small world. Headed home and crashed after the first night of FMF2005. Day Two of FMF was amazing as well. Met up with Cali and Gino at his place for refreshments before the night. Decided that night I was gonna "enjoy" myself...so Gino assisted and boy did I have fun. Ran into Time (whom I adore) and JF came as well. Got to spend some time with CMac again, found David, Jenica, Katrina and friends...good times. Had lots of venting moments (thanks David for listening) and rocked out to many great bands. Found ourselves in line for Backbooth and stopped. I asked why the line wasn't moving and they said they reached capacity and no one else is allowed in. So we were just standing there for a few minutes and Rick came by (OH I ADORE RICK) grabbed us and our party and we went through the back door. VIP people! I LOVE RICK! So we weasled our way to the front row and saw Matt Mackelcan, JF and peeps. ROCKED out to Big 10-4 and enjoyed ourselves fully then headed out. I was pretty much done. Not sure of what happened for the rest of the night. *grin*

Saturday was spent mostly in Cali's living room with CCMaD stuff going on. We had a private meeting that lasted six hours. It was extremely productive and a great opportunity for us to channel our creativity and ideas. It's going great....let's keep it movin gals...

Sunday night, Cali met up with me at my place and we headed on down to Lakeland to see REO Speedwagon. "We're with the band!" I heart that saying. It was the coolest experience going to "the big rock show". Got there in great timing because of wonderful directions (Thanks Kimmie Sue) and went to the box office to pick up our tickets and "backstage passes" *grin* It brought me back to the days of praying I would get these types of meet and greet stickers for *NSYNC, but that never happened. At least I got to do it for *a* band. YAY! Got into our seats and found my 1on1, Tina, Kneebone, Duty BYE! and friends, Traci got there late, but we did get to see her as well. The band rocked it out. It was so amusing to watch Kimmie and her best friend Cindy dancing and rocking out in the front row with Tommy on the side of the stage dancing. I was so seeing myself just a few years down the road watching one or more of my bands and doing the same thing. So funny! I think the best parts of the show were watching the fans and how crazy they were (brought me back to my *NSYNC days) and watching Kimmie Sue interact with the band on stage. So fun! I had to use the restroom while the boys were doing their encore, so Cali and I headed that way. We had just gotten in our stalls when I started singing "And I'm gonna keep on lovin you.." cause it was in my head from the show, and all of a sudden other people in the restroom just started singing and harmonizing just like from a movie. And they kept on singing...So funny!

Got done with the amazing show and headed "BACK-STAGEEEE" to meet the band. Kimmie was too cute "ALL OF EPCOT, OVER HERE!" *grin* We all took so many pictures and hung out before the band came in. The lead singer came in and announced cearly that unfortunately he was not able to stay cause he had a room full of family next door that he had to say hello to. Funny how he stared at me during the entire speech. Strange. Then, Bruce came in and we got introduced by Kimmie to her best friend. "This is my rock star!" *grin* Too cute. He was too adorable and then we headed back home in crazy traffic. Good times had by all.

Kinda started wearing down after those crazy nights so I had decided to take it easy for a little bit and decided I would probably just stay at home for a week or so and give the shows a bit of a rest so that I can be more *nsync* for the next run of shows, but Gianina really wanted to go to the Blue Martini in Tampa and had somehow ended up being the only one, so I decided that I would go with her and have a fun night with my coaster *grin* so she drove and we headed down to Tampa. Traffic was upsetting, but we enjoyed the drive and chatted away, I told many stories. *grin* Blue Martini rocked. Good times were had. We surprised Guy and Kdawg, they were shocked. I love it that Fish is pretty much unshockable nowadays, he just is happy when he sees us and gives us hugs. K basically was shocked as was Guy. I adore those kids. Sheri was there and we were pretty much named the popular table. So strange, but everyone wanted to talk to us, offer us drinks, dance with us, be our friends or bring drama into our world, but any way you have it, it was good times. Got home around 4ish only to wake up at 8am and head off to work. Fun times! I heart my coaster....

I took it easy the rest of the week and then prepared for Saturday's show with The Curve (featuring K as drummer) at The Social and Matt's show at the Loaded Hog. Cali, Valerie and I all went to Gino's to hang out for a bit then walked over to The Social to see the boys. Lots of opportunities for photos and different kinds of photos on top of that *grin*. WES was our bartender. I adore that boy. Saw Victor and he was so excited to see us (thanks for the no love on the myspace there buddy). It was already a great night! It certainly got better too. We had lots of people to hang out with including Cali, Valerie, Amanda, Sara, Jessica, the boys in Time, Randy, Gino, Kdawg, The Curve boys, Katrina, Gianina and her friends Nate and friend (who's name I forgot, maybe Mike?), and plenty more people that were hanging around. Too much fun with Wes, that kid made me so happy that night. Lots o fun! Headed to Denny's after the show with Steve, Kevin, Randy, Cali, Jessica and Valerie. We were all so exhausted and annoyed with the service, but finally got our food, ate quickly and headed home to crash. Good times.

Decided last night to go over to Cali's for an impromtu party. It was Valerie, Cali, Gianina, Katrina, K, Gino, Shawn, Abe, Courtney, and mom and pops aka Shady Ray (which is now his name). Good fun with games, music and funny people. I can't remember the last time we just hung out and did absolutly nothing and had such a great time. Those kids cracked me up and although there was lots of competition, there was also lots of fun and hilarious moments! Good times!

I am so tired though and really wanting to catch up on some sleep, but it won't happen...ever. This next week is gonna be even more crazier than any before. I have something every single night, plus overtime at work. It's all for Lance though...I gots to do it. I have Blue Martini tonight, Purple Porpoise tomorrow, meetings on Wed and Thurs, Friday overtime tour, Sat and Sun Atlanta with The Curve. Good times ahead! Let's rock it! CHACHOS!

I'm on a "JIMMY" kick and I need to quote them again....they're always in my head...

I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant
I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away
-Jimmy Eat World "Kill"