SYNCING

My thoughts

Monday January 31, 2005

Song: "Let's make a list of who we need and we'll throw it away cause we don't need anyone. No I don't need anyone..." By The Format
Mood: Amazed
Time: 8:50AM
Weather: Chilled to the bone

So last night was amazing. I don't even know how else I could describe it. I headed up to Gainesville around 4ish to meet up with Valerie and grab some food at Chilis. It was so yummy...and boy did we get full. Had tons of time to spare so where do we go to kill time? Super Target, of course! Good fun. Did some shopping and came out in perfect timing for our scheduled leaving time for the event.

Got to the preforming arts center in great timing and got our choice of parking spots. Fish came soon after with his buddy Erik and just happened to park right next to Brittany. "Our cars are gonna cuddle" Jen got there right after and the doors opened sooner than we thought. I already missed K. Thought about you the entire time my friend. It was a very nice, small initimate venue and we just happened to somehow get the third row thanks to K. They were amazing seats. Dead center. Awesome!

Fish and Erik were not looking so good. Still apparently dead from the night/morning before. *grin* Funny times. So the seating chart went as follows. Jen closest to the aisle with two on the other side of her, Valerie inbetween Jen and myself, then Fish and Erik on the other end. This is important for later reasons. The lights went down, music came on and the stage lit up. Yay. So exciting!

The stage hands came on and all you could hear was David Copperfield's voice and the stage hands sped this empty platform around in circles and then placed a sheet over it and boom there he was on a motorcycle. Crazy. First thought was "wow he looks so much older now" and then second thought "wow he's still hot" *grin* Good times. This guy was amazing. I cried from laughing so hard and there were times that I cried from the sentimental aspect as well. He is such a good performer, hands down. Crazy. I missed K though, I thought of him quite a lot through the show.

David asked for us to think of our "perfect place" and although I know exactly where that is, I actually thought of perhaps just being at Jack Rabbits in Jacksonville for that moment and show up with David Copperfield to surprise K. Wouldn't that be so perfect? Although instead his plans were to go to the Phillipines. Who knew? *grin*

David did random things to get people from the audience. Most of the time it was throwing frisbies or balls into the crowd, but for one of the tricks, he threw two pickles (juice dripping off and all) into the crowd and one of them landed in Jen's seat. She didn't even pick it up though. She just kinda kept it there while David instructed her to pick up the pickle and hand it to the girl to her right, whom happened to be Valerie. Valerie took the pickle and David told her and the other girl who grabbed the pickle to run up to the stage. YAY!

Valerie was so cute! She got up on stage and assisted with the trick. She kept looking at me and I would give her an excited grin and she would do it back. So fun! She kissed David on the cheek while going off stage and then went backstage for a minute then came back to her seat telling us she gets to meet him after the show. Cool beans!

We were having a great time! "C for Copperfield" *grin* So funny! Couldn't wait to tell K all about it. When the show ended, we were instructed to stay after and sit on the side of the stage to wait for David to come out. He met with Valerie and the other "assistants" first and said his piece and then came out to shake our hands and say "it's nice to meet you" in a kinda fake way, but who cares. It was David Copperfield touching me. *grin* But no worries, I didn't throw up. Wasn't even nervous at all actually. He was "just another guy" to me. He's no Chris Kirkpatrick. *grin*

Left and Valerie got us home safely (thank God!) LOVE YOU GIRL and I headed home, but not before a stop at the gas station for some MUCH needed water and gummy worms. Good times. Got a call from K and I told him all about the night. Wasn't a bad drive at all. As many times as I have made that drive, it just seems to get easier everytime. Listened to my "favorite mix" and got home before 1am just in time to crash and wake up at 5 this morning for work. Good times.

posted by Carolyn Ohme

Wednesday January 30, 2005

Song: "Even the best fall down sometime, even the stars refuse to shine, out of the back you fall in time, somehow find that you and I collide" By Howie Day
Mood: Confused
Time: 1:46PM
Weather: Comfortable

I seem to always be a bit on the confused side. I used to think that I had all the answers and that it didn't matter what other people did as long as I knew what I was doing and the reasons behind my actions. Now I am not so sure. Is it strange that I am now letting other people control my mood and my decisions. I am not happy about that. I am smarter than that, but when my head is fighting that fight, my heart and gut are telling me different. It makes me think too much and begin to want residence in my hole again. Not sure if it's worth it anymore. I wish I could tell myself not to think and to certainly not care. "She'd be a whole lot prettier if she smiled once and awhile, cause her smile is like a frown....everything's gonna be alright" Listening to the radio, having memories of Shawn Mullins singing this song on The Rock Boat....sitting front row, being cleansed and just being happy. Good memories...can't wait to do it again. Suddenly I feel a bit better. Amazing what music can do to me. Still confused though.

Last Friday I drove up to Gainesville with Carla to meet up with Nick and K before heading over to the Common Grounds to see Big Sky's show. Saw Dave Moore and Ashton outside. I loved Ashton's face "Hey Carolyn.." apparently remembering my intoxicated moments a few days before. Good times. Met up with Jenn and Anna as well and got our spots close to the stage before heading over to the bar for some refreshments. It was fun just hanging out with those kids and avoiding Anna's camera flashes. I almost went blind. Michael gave me more stickers and I was a happy camper. This was my final Big Sky show technically. I was planning on attending the following day's show as well, but I knew it was gonna be too packed for enjoyments sake, so I treated this night as the final night. It was memorable. Nick almost got hit by a chick who was trying to feel up our friends without an invitation. So Nick was being sweet and trying to protect them and the chick freaked out and started hitting the air with her fists. Very eventful. Nick pulled her aside and got her out of the way. He rocks. Had a great time hanging out and screaming Big Sky lyrics back at the band. So much fun! Left there and followed K to Valerie's place, where I was crashing that weekend. She met me at the door while K drove away screaming "CHACHOS" out the window. I love that kid.

I crashed and woke up the next morning to Valerie saying "It's 10:30, why aren't you up yet?" Not a morning person over here. I was so tired. We had plans to meet up with Berg and party for lunch at Cabana Cove so we got ready and stopped by Target to pick up some stuff and Cali called in perfect timing. Cali, Gianina and Katrina met us at the Target and we all went to lunch after that. We had the whole side of the restaurant just for us. Jenn, Anna, Berg, Jeff, Crystal and some others as well joined in. Great fun at the restaurant. Awesome food and we got so full we could barely move...and we hadn't even ordered our main meals yet. We had spent a good three hours at the restaurant just laughing and eating. Good times.

Headed back to Valerie's and changed. In no time, the boys of Big 10-4 were gracing us with their appearance in the living room. We started the bartending and the good times began. Can't be too detailed though....Dan might think he's special if I write about him *grin* I introduced Honestly to the band and Cali and I preformed for each other. Got to know Roy a bit better. "So Matt...did you know that Roy's favorite color is blue, he wears an XL t-shirt, his favorite band is The Beatles and he has a brother?" Good times. I like Roy...good people. I think we frightened Jimmy a bit, but he warmed up eventually. K came over after practice and got dressed. Hung out there for what seemed like forever. Started the fun and then we decided it was time to start promoting. Met up with Big 10-4 randomly at the Side Bar and helped the boys write up some promotional materials, started hanging posters up and then decided we wanted a bite to eat. We all headed over to The Swamp, which was a cool "Gator" hangout. Ordered nachos (of course) and met Big 10-4's management team. Those kids cracked me up. The boys had to head back to their hotel and get ready for the show so we chatted with the management crew and figured out their stories for the most part.

Left there in good time to head over to Gator City to stand in line for a bit before they opened the doors. Ran into Matt, Jeff, Berg, Courtney and crew, Shannon and crew, etc. Found out after they put a sign up that there would be no re-entry. Crap. That ruined our plans. Come to find out later that Berg was trying to finagle it to where we could re-enter (I guess cause he thinks we are that special *grin*), but we left before we could find that out. He's such a sweetie! Cali, Katrina, Jeff and I headed out to meet Julie and 867 over at Side Bar to watch Big 10-4. Found the girls, but Side Bar was not open yet. The guy there said the owner comes in when he wants to so there was no telling when that was gonna happen. So....we grab our crew and head next door to Market Street Pub where we had to talk Katrina in with the owner cause it was technically 21 and up, but they were cool and let her in. "YES!" Big 10-4 was already there hanging out with their friends and management. Said our hellos again and immediately began to pick up where we had all left off. They promised us something and they made good. They made sooo good. Good times.

Dan said something along the lines of "We gave the karaoke girl our single" and I was like okay...you gonna karaoke your stuff? So she called up Big 10-4 and we all tried to talk them into it, but Dan wasn't budging so he was trying to get us to do it. Julie and I looked at each other and both nodded. Perfect. So we head up to the stage and grab the mic. "Well could you validate me?" All I remember from that experience is seeing Dan and the band laughing, their management team *so* into us singing, the clueless spectators in the front row laughing at us, and our friends singing every word along with us. Good times. That was awesome being the first people to ever karaoke to Big 10-4. Rock on. We even did the "concert" version of "when you're good to go" at the end of the song. Nice drunk harmonizing on Julie and I's part. So we definitely got "paid" well for that by the manager Rick and friend and gained some respect from some of their friends, especially Shawn and Charlie apparently.

Hung out a bit more and the second song on the single came on where again the girl called up Big 10-4 and Cali said "We're doing it" Okay....so we get up there, Julie points out the feather boas and we put them on and start singing "Well I've been through enough to know I've seen enough..." The guy in the front row starts taking so many pictures of us. The crowd got more into it and Cali and I were just screaming our lungs out. The band had left by this time to go set up for their show. It was good times. I think that was one of the highlights for me out of the entire weekend.

Immediately after we get "off stage" it was like we had our own fanbase. Somehow I started talking to "Babe" who was the security guy for Big 10-4 (or at least that was what he claimed) and he said out of nowhere "I have never signed a boob before" so I pulled out my "when K needs to sign stuff marker" and said "There's a first time for everything". I was, of course, wearing a shirt that some might have said was revealing so it was easy for him to do so. That started something fun. Apparently *everyone* wanted to sign. So we went around and everywhere I went someone wanted to sign. Funny when people started coming up to me and asking. Really funny when people wanted photographs. Not sure how many times my boobs were photographed, but it was more than usual.

Headed out of Market Street Pub to go next door to Side Bar, where Big 10-4 was about to perform. It was a cool little set-up. We hung out with the boys outside. "We've got enough fans, we need friends" Aww this is why we love you Dan. (Had to quote you at least once in my blog) Soon enough the boys were on stage, rockin out and we were in the front row doing the same. Love the shout out about my "ta-ta's" and very glad they got a song sung for them. "Roll the windows down, turn the radio up, scream at the top of your lungs, look behind you, you can f*** all the people in the rearview...for the enemy" Good times. It was great fun as usual rockin out with Big 10-4! So happy they are playing my birthday show. Perfect fit!

Headed back over to the Big Sky area to catch some of their show at least. Thanks to Berg for the text updates! Saw friends everywhere. Chris was there! Good times! Didn't think I would see him there, but what a great surprise. Met some new friends as well. Mingled for the most part. I tried to get up to find Jenn, Anna, & Amy J, but there was no getting through that crowd. I was so thankful that I experienced Big Sky the night before, because I was definitely not able to enjoy them then. I saw Leslie and her beau. Hung out with them for a bit and enjoyed Big Sky with her for the last time. So sad. Everyone was pretty much as toasted as they could possibly be. It was great fun. Don't remember too much except running around and seeing everyone. I remember biting people quite often. Fish was extremely intoxicated and he wrote all over my back in huge letters "FISH" Great...that was hard to get off my back. I can't reach too well back there. He suggested that I get help. Yea thanks Fish.

It was a crazy night, but I get to see all the Big Sky guys and say "goodbye" to the band and hello to the individual artists. It's gonna be good times to come with those fellows. It was just like a big party and by the time that the Big 10-4 guys finally got there, it was even more crazy. I assisted Dan and Roy with distributing some of their cds, promoting their show coming up with Fifth Year Crush. People were very accepting of it. Rock on to the Big Sky crowd.

The night ended up being quite a long night. I stayed with the band to help load up and catch a ride with K since my other girls had to head back home earlier. We had some drama over who was driving who where. Guy and Trese made me do two tests to make sure I passed for being sober enough to drive. They weren't trusting anyone else to drive but themselves and I love them for it. Guy got all dad like and K and I were dying laughing. Fish was persistent on walking to his hotel so he did. Jason finally got in the van with Guy and K and I headed over to Valerie's. We got there and it was a party already. Berg, his manager Lisa, Jeff, Crystal, Valerie, etc were there. Dave Moore, Jen and Anna came as well. I was so exhausted and drained from the night so I huddled in my little corner and chatted randomly and sporadically with everyone in the kitchen. At one point I opened my eyes and Dave Moore's butt was right in my line of vision. Don't wake up to that everyday. Thanks my friend. Apparently Berg and Jeff took photos with me and a cow while I passed out for a bit. Nice. Can't wait to see those pics.

We all finally passed out for the evening about 5ish. I got up around 11ish not being able to sleep. Left Val a note and headed back home to Orlando. I got home and Jordan convinced me to go eat with him and Ian. We went to Philly Connection so I could introduce them to a bit of my past. It was fun, but I was extremely tired. Good to hang out with them though. Came home and got caught up on some stuff and then nyqiled it up and headed to bed. So what I needed.

Worked the rest of the week anticipating the weekend, which was full of fun activities. I headed over to Cali's on Thursday to go over some stuff and join her and Tony for dinner. Yummy Spagetti. We did some business stuff (thank you SO much Cali! You have no idea!) and then I came back home to help JHey study for UFW Tour. We were up kinda late going over the stuff until we crashed just to get up hella early for work again.

This past Friday was awesome. I was so exhausted from getting up early, working and then going straight to Cali's to start our road trip to Gainesville. I get a text from K saying "C-dawg is coming to gville to par-tay with FYC and that's a BIG 10-4!" *giggle* I love K. You rock my friend. That was a big 10-4! Cali and I had an interesting and informing drive up to gville. She received some news that were a bit on the depressing side and we had to work through that a bit and put it on the back burner so she could have a fun night. She succeeded! *grin* We got to Valerie's in perfect timing with Gianina and Katrina pretty much right behind us. Got ready and headed out for food and the show.

Got to Common Grounds and found FYC and Big 10-4, who came shortly after. Chris from PI was there! YAY! Robin and Michael came a bit later. Nigel was at the bar and assisted me with trying new beers and finally deciding on the usual. *grin* Boy do I love that kid though. He rocked! Almost got Katrina thrown out. So not a good moment for the night, but thankfully I had an "unbelievable stupid excuse" that he let us go. Ugh I was about to get pissed. Met Matt, who was the promotional guy for Ellipis (or whatever their name was), but I wasn't such a big fan of them as people. Okay as a band though.

We rocked out to Big 10-4. It's amazing how in a different city there are probably only ten people who have seen them before, but in Orlando, you would think the entire world knows and loves that band. It's an incredibly strange thing. It was pretty much just us up front, until Kevin (UCF Kevin) finally came up with us to rock out. Good times. We pretty much rested and hung out chatting during the other band's set to prepare for FYC's set.

FYC had a pretty good crowd and of course, we were in the front rocking out. Big 10-4 would come up and rock out with us a bit at a time. It was funny. Roy would come up and then go back, Dan was next, then Matt. So funny. Like they were scared but still wanted to be apart of it and support. Love them for it. In the middle of the set, K held up a sign for me. *OH HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU* I laughed my butt off. So funny! Totally not expecting that. 11 right back acha my friend! Everyone was like "What was that?" but then I missed the second sign. Gianina came up to me screaming "Did you see the sign? K just put up "CHACHOS"!" Rock on! I missed it though, but so happy I didn't miss the first one at least.

J played an awesome rendition of "24". Guy was extremely happy. I adore that kid. Cali and I were there for backup and it was good times. Dave rocked at bass and seemed to be having a great time. I enjoy that band. We rocked out and had a great time. Afterwards the party seemed to never end. I got to spend some time with Robin and Michael and got some info from Robin that I take very seriously and tried hard to do my best. For her and for me. We kept hanging out until we got kicked out. Hung out outside the venue where Guy almost ran us over then I got into Zev's car and started rocking out to Big 10-4 with him and his friend until Roy got in. *grin* Cali kept jumping on me. So funny. Got "frisked" by Dan. I was clean though so that was good. Made a promise to "chat" when we got to Valerie's. Matt tried to recover from saying I was "unsneakable" and then we finally made our way to our vehicles and made plans to all meet up at Valerie's to hang.

Stopped at Taco Bell for Val and Cali and waited in line for over thirty minutes. Nice. Finally got back to Valerie's house as the Big 10-4 boys are driving up. Perfect timing. Got covers cause we were all freezing and all crashed in the living room. Dan brought pizza and some good footage (that wouldn't play-UGH!) and we started the party as several people were coming over at different times. J and Chris showed up then K along with some girls and soon the room was full. Hung out and just chatted and laughed. It was great times! Stayed up until 5:11am with those kids and finally crashed all on the floor until we got up around 9ish. Cali and I headed home at that point to face the drama that had occurred on the way up there.

On two hours of sleep, we hang out for quite a bit. Learn some more of poker, chat and eat some steak for lunch. I headed home around 3ish to get ready for the rest of the day's activities full of bands, boys, friends and fun. I changed and soon Christie and Amy J were in my apartment ready to go. We head downtown and get there in perfect timing to hear the introduction of The Curve on stage and he see's us across the street rocking out to 'Different". Finally get in and it had been TOO long since I had seen those boys. Good times! Met up with Shannon, Anna, Courtney, Stephanie, Randy, Jason (photographer), etc. It was a great show. Right after, Big 10-4 comes up to me and says hey. "Feeling okay this morning?" I can't even walk straight, you? *grin* Lack of sleep is tons of fun sometimes. We decide food is a good idea so we all head down the street in hopes of finding TGIFridays. When we get to the location we find out they had closed a few years ago. Nice. *grin* Met up with Anna's boys on the street, literally. We find this small restaurant WITH a full bar (one of the requirements) that had some TGIFridays type of foods. Great choice because they *DID* have drink specials (BOY were they special) and we had good chats. I was called, once again, a lesbian. What the heck? When we were leaving the restaurant, the people at the table next to us made some comment about how the lesbians were leaving. Nice. So all night, of course, we make out and become lesbians...just kidding. *grin* We did, however, have a great time with biting...we attacked quite a few people. Nice. Good times. Cup of cherries anyone? YES! Thanks Mikey!

We had such a great time. Carla came to meet us a bit later. I carried Courtney out to her car to meet up with Stephanie. I get a call from her later "I need water" Okay I am on my way. I brought her water and that was a fun sight. *grin* Got Shannon to Anna and they all hooked up for the evening. Glad it worked out. Christie, Carla and I hung out with Dan's roomie Ed, Jeremy, Nick (I think), Babe (the security guard) and their friends. Such cool guys! I finally got to meet Kelly (very sweet girl!) and hung out for quite awhile before Big 10-4 came on. It was PACKED by the time they got on stage. We, again, were in the front row. It was a great show! We all rocked out together and I loved hearing them three times in two days. Great times for me.

At some point during the show, they were singing "Tangled" and I was singing while looking out towards the road at the people just passing by wondering why they weren't inside rocking out with us and I hear "Sing it Carolyn!" on the mic. I looked up at Dan and he's laughing at me. Guess I did look like I was zoning out a bit, but I was still singing. *grin* Funny stuff. I was like, "Did he just call me out?" Carla and Christie confirmed. Yes, yes he did. Funny stuff. Jimmy was smiling as always and sticking out his tongue. Good peeps. I love those kids. Lots of Gainesville references "If you were at Gainesville....It's an inside joke, I'll tell ya later" on the mic. Nice Dan.

After the show, we were pretty beat and done. Said our goodbyes and headed out. Christie was toe up so we crashed at my apartment and woke up early afternoon today with Big 10-4 in our heads. Good times as always!

Been resting today and trying to catch up with things that I have neglected. Going to head back up to Gainesville tonight for David Copperfield for K! I am gonna miss you kid. Gonna be strange without you.

SO glad I finally got caught up with this thing. Once I write it down, I am good to go. Good times!

Oh and YOU...stop paging me so darn early in the morning when you know I am recovering from the night before! *grin*

Last night, I headed over to 867's to pick up herself and Julie. We were quickly on our way to The Social, but not before a few hilarious moments of watching the new American Idol. Then it was onto The Social. A little texting going on "Ready for a backrub?" *giggle* Get down there and see Victor and Matt. Great guys...cracked me up. They were in an unusual manner. The "door guy" totally put my bracelet on funny and it disturbed me the entire night. Grr. Oh well. Met up with Katrina and Gianina soon after. Yay! Watched all the cute band guys prepare. Tried to sweet talk the "sound guy" into playing The Rising, Big 10-4 or heck...*ANY* local band that has played there before that they adore, but nope wasn't having it. Ah well. I tried.

So Julie was really worried that The Social was gonna be sold out and for good reason. Here is this incredible band who is nationally known and the lead singer is from SR-71, etc and literally there were not more than twenty people in the joint. So sad. Spacebar opened for them. We had gotten a flyer from "Robert the flyerguy" on Monday when we were there supporting his band so we told him that we already had plans and that we would see him there and we did. "Flyerguy" was passing by when I stopped him to say hey. Very cool guy. The drummer of the band and was very excited to see us again. They started off slow and got harder by the end of their set and all of it was really good. I was loving them. The singer is not my favorite person though cause when we were complimenting him he was cool for a second and Julie made a funny and he just walked away obviously because of the remark. It wasn't even rude by any means. He was just clueless I think. The drummer came down and hung out with us until Plunge began their set, in which we practically left him to be the *only* ones in the middle of the dancefloor supporting the band. Everyone else (all 15 of them) were by the bar or on the side nowhere near the stage. So sad.

From the very beginning, I knew this band was gonna rock my night. These kids *were* preformers by every use of the word. Their music was incredible. Their humor was appreciated and well-taken. Great group of four guys with the right mindset. Do it for the music. Do it for the fans. Do it for the love of it all. These kids were not taking themselves too serious. They were laughing and working their butts off to make it an incredible show and having so much fun while doing so. I was so impressed, to say the least. The beginning of their set cracked me up and totally set the stage for what was about to come. We were beginning to stand up while they got ready to begin their set when O-Town came over the loud speakers singing "Cause I want it all or nothing at all, there's nowhere else to fall when you reach the bottom, it's now or never..." and the guys in the band started waving their arms back and forth as if they were in the crowd at an O-Town show. I thought either the "sound guy" was jumped and some teeny-bopper (much like myself) took over or this is a band joke on the crowd cause when, really, would this occur at a real like rock show. Well then the Mike comes up and says "That's for you O-Town....O-Town in O-Town" Oh I loved him already. Good times...we just laughed and began to enjoy what I had no idea would be one of the best musical experiences ever.

Some of my favorite parts: "We're *NSYNC with guitars" umm did he just say *NSYNC? yes...yes he did. YAY! They did choregraphed dances WHILE playing. And not cheesy ones, but just fun "watch me cause I'm on stage" type dances. They rocked! Mike was excellent at making eye contact and singing *to* the crowd, which again was the five of us in the middle of the dance floor. It was like a private show because he kept talking to us like we were having a personal conversation with him. Victor came down on the floor to hang out for a bit and Mike totally called him out on being the pimp with five girls and he made a song (and pattoned it right then and there) specifically for Victor. It was awesome "Victor, Victor, Victor" *grin* Then he spilled the beans that he worked there and Mike stopped "oh really?" *grin* Funny stuff. Mike wore an Elvis belt buckle. It was hot.

Mike was talking about the band not being "sensible guys" and I said loudly "well we aren't very sensible girls" and all of the ladies (Julie, 867, Katrina and Gianina) looked my way and started laughing. Well, we aren't gonna deny it, are we? Mike said "really?" and it was funny. Then, Mike asked if any of us had part-time girlfriends....so of course I was the one to reply (cause for some reason I like having conversations *with* people *while* they are on stage) with a "no, not part-time *girlfriends*" and he said "oh okay, well figuratively speaking of course" and then Katrina started hugging me pretending to be my part-time girlfriend and so I start climbing on her and Mike starts laughing and says "I think you're lying, there's your part-time girlfriend right there" so now, of course, Katrina is my part-time girlfriend and that is our song. *grin*

So then Mike asks about people getting wasted and who was drinking. That was his transition into the next song. "This song is called Wasted On Your Love" and it didn't even hit me there that it was *that* song. Not until he played the first parts of it and then I got so happy. I totally didn't know *they* sang that song. It's one of my favorites for many reasons. So I totally surprised the entire band by knowing all of the lyrics to that song. I was so happy that they sang it. Mike kept watching me and singing with me. It was a good bonding moment with fan and band member since no one else knew that song in the entire place. Our crew knew some of the lyrics to a couple other songs like "Hometown Hero" and "Scared" but that was about it on our part. The others we *tried* to learn on the spot. Ooooh I heart Plunge.

Chris, or Billy Idol as I like to call him, was the guitarist on my side of the stage who rocked with his crazy hairstyle and awesome dance moves. This kid spinned around so quickly for a really fast break in the song and made us all go "woah". Brian, or Hot Pink Boy as I like to call him, was on the opposite side of the stage rockin his own funky hairstyle and rocking out on bass. They had choregraphed dance moves that were so fun. They would do kicks, bend down to their knees, jump, do crazy bends, it was great. Mac is the drummer and one of the funnest that I have watched. He was enjoying every moment of his playing/singing. He was sticking out his tongue (one time it was more than just sticking out...and moving quite a bit...very fun to watch), grinning ear to ear, making funky facial expressions and going at it on the drums. It was so fun to watch him. I had a great view of everyone cause although in the center of the dance floor, I was the last one in the row so I got more of a side-center view that rocked.

Mike played an acoustic "chick song" that he just wrote something like "everything you are to me" and it was beautiful. Julie named it her "I'm in a mood" song and I just call it an incredible piece of human emotion wrapped up in a musical experience. I could not take my eyes off his guitar strings and hands. It amazes me that someone has the ability to make music with that instrument, sing along to it with lyrical words and make me feel so strongly, so much and make me feel everything just with that combination. So strange how that works. Amazing.

Getting close to the end of their set, they play their "single" which is "Hometown Hero" and we are the only ones in the venue that know it (not all of it though *grin*) and when it came down to the last time for the chorus, Mike stops singing a part and looks at us to continue and everyone stops except myself (who tries to figure out what they are singing) and I made an effort. Might not have been right, but when do I ever get the lyrics right? I think the part was "and I didn't even know it" but regardless I was too insecure to sing it too loud, but I tried. It was funny. Julie just looked down, 867 was mouthing something, but not nearly close enough, Katrina and Gianina just started giggling and I was singing with a questionable look. How sad were we for a crowd? *grin* Ah well. It was fun.

Immediately after the song, Mike turned to me and knelt down and handed me his guitar pick. How cool was that? Then, of course, I dropped it and found it again, but it was so tiny it slipped right through my hand (aww "I'm the sand in your hand, watch me just fall straight through" sorry Big 10-4 moment). It was sweet so, of course, we went to get cds and chat with the guys. Met Mac first, Brian next, Mike and then Chris. These guys were awesome. Mike chatted with us for quite awhile. "So how old are you guys?" and I think it was strange for us to be the ones being asked versus vice versa. We went around and told him our ages and I think he was surprised on all accounts. I guess he never really saw us drinking because we did it beforehand and were broke by the time they showed up. It was just interesting. Chris (Billy Idol) came over and grabbed Mike's neck and pointed to me saying "This girl's awesome! She knew everyword" and I responded with a "umm yea but only to *one* song, but thanks..." I enjoyed the fact that he actually saw me....wasn't he suppose to be playing. "Where was I? Oh I was on stage playing my guitar" I love That Thing You Do! Good times.

Left with an exlierating feeling of just seeing a great new live band that I heart. Great times. Headed home to crash. I wasn't feeling too hot by that time. Stuffy nose, hurt throat, heavy head, achy body. Got up feeling about the same way. Got to work early this morning and am still pretty much feeling crappy, but getting better. Just want to take a shot of Nyquil when I get home and sleep the afternoon away. That is my plan.

Isn't it funny how life doesn't really turn out however you try to plan it? Life happens and it changes. It makes the necessary moments that you are suppose to have and it always works out in the end. Sometimes life is questionable and strange, depressing and hurtful, uncompromising and insecure, but also wonderful and amazing. You have to take life the way it comes. There is no other way to take it. Just enjoy the wonderful things and learn from the other. Life has made it's point in the past couple of days and I am finally figuring out that I am just along for the ride with no control of the wheel at all. It's a scary, but great feeling at the same time. Life is amazing.

Monday was spent working while also making plans to meet up with some friends and see AJ, one my friends in BlueStone Circle, play his original stuff at The Lodge downtown. Cali and I have our "second date" and we arrive in good time to follow Dave inside the venue. Got inside and I immediately had memories of the last time I was there with FYC and some of the crew. It had been a reunion hangout at the time and we put on nametags to be included. Good times.

Cali and I got settled in and played some word games by the bar. "Date Two" was going pretty well so far. Then, it hit us while texting Gianinia and Katrina that the place might have been 21 and up. I went and checked, all the while praying that I hadn't screwed up, and unfortunately it was 21 and up only. So, I talked to AJ and wondered if he had any pull if she promised she wouldn't even try to get a drink and he said he would do his best and talk to management. Apparently, he could pull much so when the gals got there we decided to hang out elsewhere. I said my goodbyes to AJ and said we would catch him next time and we went across the street to The Social. I was a bit bummed to not get to stay and listen to AJ's soulful voice, but to be honest I would have rather hung out with my *all* my friends who came out to support my friend *for me* anywhere they would be allowed. So it worked out perfect.

Saw Victor going into the *free* Social and gave him his "starting backrub" for the night. He's so funny..."You are taking my number and calling me so that we can do this all the time" umm okay. Funny kid. Meet Matt, the money guy, get a free "loot bag" and get free tickets to Graham Colton, Beep Beep and The Dave Matthews Tribute Band shows that are coming up there soon. How happy was I about that? In addition to free tickets, we also got free cds, stickers and such. It was also MySpace night there so we were mingling with all other myspacers. Good fun.

We get in and immediately start enjoying the band that was playing. They seemed quite young and were rocking away like professionals. I enjoyed them a lot. Headed straight for the restroom where Katrina decided the new name for Plunge was Spunge *grin* I love that girl! Came back out and went straight to the side of the stage where I start eyeing out the crowd. I am an extremely observant person and I love knowing the type of people who I am sharing the crowd with. And that's when I spot someone who is familiar looking.

"There's Matt from Big 10-4!" I say way too loud as there happens to be a break in the band's set and everyone in the place hears me, including Matt from Big 10-4. He looks over, smiles and waves. Carolyn=Big dork. So I wave back realizing that everyone, including Matt from Big 10-4 heard me and immediately wish I could crawl into a deep hole at that very moment. So while my crew laughs *at me* I realize that I should soften my almost already gone voice anyways and that's when I spotted John Frank (artist and also Dan's roommate) and my thoughts immediately run to "well, where is Dan then" and he suddenly appeared like magic behind the two boys apparently coming from the bar. He spots me back and raises his glass in the air out of shock and comes running over to us. At least he didn't hear me scream his brother's name. Whew.

Dan comes over and hangs out. Great, fun crowd. Had a great evening hanging out with the Big 10-4 boys. John Frank was mingling and was coming up to talk to Dan and so since I have had long conversations with this kid, I point and say strongly "JOHN FRANK" as if he were the celebrity he is working at to be and he points back with the same strongness and states "I don't know you" and so I go into the details of our past and how we have talked at several shows, etc and then he begins to remember me or so he says. We start talking about his next gig and he mentions how he is playing in Gainesville the next night. I mentioned that I would be in Gainesville that same night and inquired where he was gonna be playing and he said the Purple Porpoise. Of course, that is where I was planning on going to see Ashton perform. How great were the odds that he would be playing the same gig. Sweet! So I tell him that is where I was planning on going and he mentioned Reed Waddle would also be playing that night. Is my night being made our what? Wait...it gets better.

So I go back to continue my chat with Dan and I mention that his roomie was playing the same place I was planning on going to in Gainesville the next night and Dan grabs John Frank before he has a chance to go mingle again and asks "Why don't you tell me these things?" and I was like "You should come and support your roommate" and he was like "I'm there" Cool. So we join back in with Cali, who had been chatting it up with Matt, and Katrina and Gianina. We decide that we are gonna meet up before the show in Gville and get some drinks. Plans were made. Good times. Dan and Matt were wanting to hit another club so I mentioned they should go check out AJ, but we had to head out cause Cali and I had to be up early the next morning for work *and* we had to have our creative team meeting still so we headed out or attempted to anyways before we got stopped by Victor and Matt at the door.

Victor cornered Cali and Matt did the same to Gianina while Katrina and I checked out if there was anymore "loot" to take that others just weren't. Good times getting loot. Made plans to reunite at my place and headed out with Big 10-4 blasting all the way home. Sometimes things are the way you planned, but it always works out in the end.

Get home and we have a "creative team meeting" and get a lot accomplished. Gonna be a great time when the time comes. YAY! We are so "creative". I love us. Shortened the meeting because morning was gonna come sooner than we expected and I crashed.

Got up the next morning quite early to head to work. This was the first official day for John Dontrich's return. I had a cast member make him a welcome back balloon animal to put on his desk, which he adored *snicker* and a sign welcoming him back, full of pictures and fun memories of his time before. I was happy to see him again. I had missed him. But I was also a bit sad. It's hard to leave something that I had just started to get used to, but that is life. It changes and you never know where it is gonna lead you.

Got through work and met up with Cali at my place. Rushed to get ready and we headed out to meet up with K and Robin in Gainesville before our evenings activities. Cali and I always have some pretty deep conversations. We should call them our "pre-show chats" She cracks me up. I love the random deep stuff that we come up with. I think it's so fortunate that we can do that with no hesitation. Good times. We get to the Oaks Mall and meet up with K and his momma. I LOVE ROBIN! We meet at Ruby Tuesdays at the booth in the back corner and start catching up immediately. They had me laughing within minutes.

Had one of the best meals with those kids. Great chats, great food, great atmosphere and great friends. "Goes from Porno to Nemo" I about died. Funniest stuff ever. Best burp in history and the greatest fun I could have had for dinner. Good times. Two for one. Two for one...and again Two for one. Good times.

Dan called Cali and he was like "Where are you guys?" ummm at Ruby Tuesdays with K. "Alright we are on our way" Cool. So in less than literally ten minutes these kids are strolling in. "What's up guys?" *grin* They pop a squat and "Two for one" was all around except poor K, but for good reason. "Take your pills!" Remember that buddy? *grin* So we talk it up and poor K finds out some depressing information regarding Budwieser. I giggled. Funny stuff when bands start to talk. Funny times. Stories for shared and the shows are gonna be rolling out. I cannot wait!

Closed out Ruby Tuesdays, called Valerie and Berg and were on our way to the Purple "turtle" as Cali likes to call it. Get in and we are literally making up the entire crowd excluding the regulars at the bar who were already trashed and making whistling noises (Dan and I laughed at them all night). Headed straight for the bathroom, which is typically our routine when going to *any* venue and Dan and Matt were in tow. We went to spit into the single girls and guys restrooms and Cali and I walked into the one together and I stepped back out to invite Matt in to be funny and he had went into the guys with Dan. Funny crap. If we hadn't done it I doubt they would have thought it was okay to do it too. Granted, the guys should be fine with it seeing as though they *are* brothers so who cares and also they are guys...they go to the bathroom right next to each other all the time, just funny that there is only one stall in there. Good times.

We come out and find Berg shortly after along with Valerie and then John Frank, Ashton and Reed Waddle....then the crowd began to form. K's friend Orle came. She was cool. I liked her name. Good fun! We made a new Big 10-4 fan in her. She was hooked from the start. YAY! The night started off so good and just kept getting better as it got later and later. Ashton was incredible and when he came to hang out with us after his mini-set, he sat directly in front of me so we started chatting and he was so nice. I am pretty sure that I let it slip out that I, at one time, thought he was unapproachable, but apparently I am not the only one. "You know, I 've heard that before" He was *so* not what I thought and such a sweetheart. Good times with Ashton. We took him out to the car to listen to Big 10-4 seeing as though when I introduced them, he had no idea the guys were in a band and we told him he was missing out. He totally caught Cali and I offguard "Cali, Carolyn....bring it down a bit" cause we can't help but scream our lungs out to Big 10-4. Funny Stuff. I sang to Matt while he stood outside and I leaned out the door so Ashton couldn't hear me too much. He fell in love with them as well. Good times.

Got back inside just in time for John Frank to go on. "JOHN FRANK" is what I kept yelling while he was up on stage to make him feel better and I kept getting responded to. I love that kid. He said "THANKS CAROLYN!" And I happened to give him the rock on sign at one point and he responded "I like that Rock on sign!" *grin* He cracked me up. Okay and I must say that he rocked live....he was awesome! I was very impressed. I kept mentioning to Dan that his recordings were so different and didn't show off all the things that I was impressed with live. Wow is all I can say.

Reed Waddle came on and was incredible as well. Great night full of awesome singer songwriters and an incredibly fun evening. Dan and I played against Cali and Valerie (with the help of Matt) in billards and we beat them good. Well, Dan beat them good. I just stood there and slapped Dan on the butt everytime he made a good shot....it was fun. *grin* It came to the point where I had lost track of time, but Cali hadn't and she was giving me a timeline of when we needed to go. She was so funny cause she kept saying "After this song" or "In a few minutes" and it prolonged for quite awhile. Matt wanted to go promote some for their show this weekend so Cali offered to help and was about to drag me along when she saw me and then said "Dan? Can you please take care of Carolyn for us, we will be back in a few" Good Cali. So she left with Matt and K to head over to Side Bar and put up some posters while Dan and I chatted.

It amazes me how many wonderful conversations that I have had at the Purple Porpoise while I was loaded. Guy, Matt, Berg, and now Dan. It was an amazing conversation comparing our thoughts and about the lyrical genius that he is and how my life relates to it in more ways than one. Good times at the Porpoise. Couldn't have had a better night. I love my friends. Cali and Matt came back and we decided that it really was time to head out because we were exhausted and needing some sleep before work.

I don't remember too much on the drive home except K's funny text messages and Cali telling me that her mouth hurt. I kept patting her on the knee. I guess it made me feel better. My throat hurt so bad that I couldn't even talk so I would just pat her on the knee. I tried so hard to stay away but I was "in and out, in and out of your reality" and eventually I think I did pass out on her. So sorry Cali...love you. Got home and crashed and woke up bright and early for today. I have been working at the HP VIP Lounge at Mission:Space and enjoying every moment of it. It's great fun and good times. Been training other cast members pretty much all afternoon at this location and tomorrow I will be doing my last day of transitioning from Coordinator back to Guest Relations Hostess. Strange.

I am about to get off and will be resting a bit. THEN, I am heading over to Julie and 867's to head downtown for PLUNGE! I cannot wait. The Social is becoming my hangout! Good times ahead. Remember, there is no sleeping in Florida.

Thursday was extremely productive at work. Wendy and I started the day off right and it turned out to be a pretty good day. Got to talk to Carla and I was, of course, persuaded to attend PI that night. Started making plans and got home to rest before the night's activities. Nick came by soon after, followed by Katrina and we headed out to meet the others there. It was packed thanks to a homeowner's convention. The oldest people ever filling the Rock and Roll Beach Club, but it was good to stop by and see our friends. We suffered through Kabang a bit so that Nick could grab something from the bar. Katrina and I hung out by the side of the stage where the drummer had an excellent view of us. He started smiling and winking at us. Oh dear. Must go now. Headed out to Motions to find the girls. Carla, Daniela and Cecile were already ahead of us and having way too much fun so we joined in. We were on a hunt for "cute boys" but were quickly disappointed. Darn convention. Although Katrina impressed me like no other. "That guy is so cute!" and not two seconds later he turned around and said "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Nice. And of course they had met before and it was good times, but just cracked me up. Nick and Carla protected me from three guys that were less than clean by all meanings of the word and I enjoyed sipping on my friend's beverages. Good times. Last song was "Over and Over Again" by Tim McGraw and Nelly. Who plays *that* for a last song at MOTIONS? Regardless, a guy standing near me the entire night grabs me and asks me to dance. Umm okay. His name was "TC" and a very nice guy. So I am slow dancing in Motions to a song that I really did not want to dance to at all, but it was something I needed to do. Closed down the place and headed out with my friends. Crashed hard and decided I didn't want to wake up.

Friday I slept most the day away with a few moments of coherantness just to check my phone messages and then drift back to sleep. I had the day off and was gonna take FULL opportunity to just do nothing. Although I did do some laundry, some bills and some grocery shopping. I tried not to spend too much money and just hung out a good majority of the day. Got plans together for the evenings activities (yes, there are always evening activities). Why am I always so detailed? (just a random thought) Went over to Anna's and met the puppy and the kitty. Oh so cute! Left pretty soon after that and headed to Tampa in stop and go traffic. Anna's New York driving mood was about to kick in when we were just at my apartment after a half-hour of being in the car. It was good times. We finally made it to Tampa, actually on time, and met up with Jen and Courtney before going to see Berg at Sacred Grounds.

Stopped at the Village Inn to get Anna a much anticipated pie. Yes, I said pie. *giggle* Then got lost a bit on the way to Sacred Grounds. It was one of those randomly placed venues. Saw Berg standing outside. It was good to see that kid again. He's so sweet. Got out of the van and he immediately says "Before I forget..." and starts telling me that he has been putting together a show in Gainesville and was on myspace with another performer who said he knew someone from Orlando who he met on The Rock Boat and that it was me. "You talked with my Scott Ivey!" YAY! I love Scott Ivey and it was cute...I love Berg. Can't wait to see them perform (hopefully together) soon!

Got in the venue and it looked like a family room, full of games, couches, fish tanks, books and that much needed coffee bar. Met Berg's friend and also opener, Mercy. She was very cool. They were freaking out a bit not knowing where the PA was gonna be set up. There wasn't really any stage area set up, let alone space to make one. They went to figure that out while Anna ate her pie and we giggled over the pics that Jen had made for Berg. Good times.

Started playing "Mood" and *that* was funny in itself. Then, of course Berg and Mercy figure out where they are suppose to perform and start running us over with couches that they are placing over in our area to make room for the "stage". We quickly figure out where we do not need to stand to be in their way and then place ourselves in the "front row" couch to have the best possible view. I think it was about this same time when we realized *why* the coffee shop was called "Sacred Grounds" (not including the obvious reasons of it being a "coffee" shop with the grounds part). Apparently the couples of girls on the individual couches were actually "couples". The crowd was definitely more lesbians than anyone else, but the gay guys were closely following the number of lesbians that attended. We started to wonder who were "couples" in our crew. It didn't bother me at all, I just thought it was a little interesting fact that we were so clueless to at first.

Mercy began to sing and after meeting her, I was extremely surprised at her jewel-like voice and innocent demeanor. I really enjoyed her set, although slightly on the depressing side, it fit my mood so I was happy with it. Her lyrics were extremely fitting for some of the things that I have been going through and thinking about. It was a good night for me to go experience that. Things happen for a reason and most of the time, within good timing. Good fit. What again is "butt hugging?" *giggle*

Then, it was Berg's turn. That kid is so much fun. He cracked me up in-between songs just throwing random things out constantly. It was good to see him again and I really think he appreciated us driving down to see him. He did his live version of a couple of his original songs, by mixing The Curve's lyrics within his. "If I can see anything, than I can see everything" and of course I am the only one that gets excited and practically screams it and everyone just kinda giggled at me. It might not have been the best moment, but I didn't care. Yes, that was me.

Left a bit early because the couches were extremely uncomfortable (amazingly enough) and Anna's eyes were getting dust in them and getting irritated so we headed on out. It was suddenly freezing outside. Not sure when that occurred, but geez. Freezing weather! Got back to Jen's and then parted ways so that we could head back to Orlando. I don't remember much of the ride back. I was fighting going to sleep, but I was so exhausted. Not sure why. I had slept most of the day away, but it was just one of those things I guess. I tried to keep the conversation with Anna going, but I am sure I faded in and out more than I thought at the time.

Quickly got back to Orlando and I said my hellos to Shannon and the animals. I got to see the *I wanna be like David Bowie surprise*. That is gonna crack me up. So funny! Headed home quickly and again crashed. Didn't wake up till noonish on Saturday and was way more productive then the day before. I actually cleaned and quite a bit. My room really needed it and it felt good to finally have enough energy to complete the job. Good times. Attempted to finish my online driving course, but my computer had to freeze up on me several times and get me just mad enough to give up. Ugh. Not happy about that.

I got ready and headed out to Cali's for dinner and a ride. She was my "date" for the evening. We had planned it well in advance since we had never got to see Big 10-4 together and it was kinda our experience that the lyrics were just right where they needed to be in our hearts and minds. We had to release our tension together at the show. So we were each other's dates. Wish you had come Amy J. We missed you. I had dinner with Cali's parents and Tony as well and it was so yummy. They cook the best foods! Soon enough we were ready to take on downtown. Got down there in no time at all, but had to take a detour.

Saw Vincent at the door and he asked if I was "drinking tonight?" umm is that any kind of question? Love the kid...cmon. Got in and saw Dan immediately and he just pulled his arms out all the way for a hug. Aww. I love Dan. He gives some really good hugs too. Just what I needed.

Headed straight for the bathroom (as usually) and then came out ready for the bar. Cali and I met up with our "six pack" bartender and he was like "These girls are mine!" to the other bartender. Good times! I enjoyed Matt per usual. He's such a cool guy. Got our straddling bench and chatted until we felt our legs begin to get numb and we headed for the candlelight table for two instead. Saw Jason (Ellen's friend, the photographer) and said hello. He never remembers me everytime I see him, but I think he will now. *grin* he was there for Atomic Tangerine, whom I have seen before and they are pretty good, but I was just sick with anticipation for the release I was about to have with Big 10-4. I could not wait. Just what I needed.

Nick and Carla showed up soon after and things were getting blurry. Good timing. Had several unexpected conversations with Cali. I am glad she was my date that night. Things were explained and I feel closure was beneficial. "Why do you have to be so smart?" I love ya kid. Dan came over and I inquired about the random cowboy in the middle of the empty dance floor doing his own little dance. Dan said they hired him. I love that kid. We had some good talks about next weekend "Next weekend is ON!" Yes, my friend...it is. "That's the best news I have heard all night!" YAY! I cannot wait. Just what I needed.

Julie and Nikki showed up shortly after that and expressed that by grabbing my butt. So that of course started a butt grabbing contest for me to where I needed to grab everyone's hiney. Good times. The guy in front of me seemed to be enjoying it. "It's all innocent my friend" He would just turn around and giggle and, at times, grab mine back. Funny stuff. I always blamed Julie though, but it never seemed to work. Darn it. Just what I needed.

Got up immediately after Atomic Tangerine was done with their set and headed down to the floor for front row. Crew in tote, I was ready to go. I felt someone hug me from behind and 867 and Mark were there finally and just in time for BIG 10-4. YAY! Now we were all good to go. Let's have a show! We made sure we were front row and center and I had to make a comment to Dan before they started playing "I like this view" looking up at him and he of course responded by looking me in the eyes, winking and grabbing himself, but not left without a giggle at the end. Good times. I love that kid. Just what I needed.

We meet our neighbors and begin the bonding experience with the frats and sorority chicks. Good crowd. They cracked me up. I don't even want to know how many butts I grabbed that night or how many backrubs I ended up giving. I know Vincent certainly enjoyed his. *grin* On my way to the bathroom, he split the crowd for me by leading the way and I gave him a complimentary backrub on the way to show my appreciation. Big 10-4 SOLD OUT The Social and it was too packed to move. Awesome for them! People outside were UPSET. Good idea to go early people. DO NOT miss at Big 10-4 show. Just what I needed.

The show began and I was in pure heaven the entire time. They wrote the soundtrack of my life and everything that I couldn't get out, they got out for me. I adore those kids. I don't really remember watching their show all that much. I was in my own little world, singing with my friends, dancing and looking more into the crowd observing this incredible comrodity within the crowd that the band formed just by singing the songs on stage. I do remember taking many photos of Dan, including the one of his feet. I love his feet. Sang my lungs out to the point where I didn't think any sound could come out. Just what I needed.

They played some new songs that I don't think I had the pleasure of hearing before. "Smell" was one of them. It's seriously scary and amazing how Dan gets into my head without knowing it. Reminded me of something. Maybe it shouldn't have, but it did. I'm sorry that it did. I took full advantage of the show to get all my aggressions out as usual and had a great time with my friends. Just what I needed.

I was on a high by the time the show was done and I didn't want it to end. It was one of the best shows I have been to and I just didn't want it to stop. The high was still there for quite some time. In fact, I am not sure it's even gone now. Feels so good. Immediately after the show ended, one of the guys that we were hanging with ripped the set list off the speaker and gave it to me. "YES!" to quote Napolean Dynamite. *grin* We all got together and Julie determined we needed to fit as many people in the photobooth as possible with Dan. So I run into Dan, literally and ask a very simple "Photobooth?" and he said "ABSOLUTELY, lets go" and we went straight there. Oops. Where's Julie? Went on a search and found her a few seconds later. We crowded in and there were tongues and that was about it. Julie's face did make it in the picture a couple of times *grin* Just what I needed.

Cali requested a "date" photo with Dan and myself, but he had to say goodbye to someone so he gave strict instructions to "don't go anywhere" and we were to follow. Before he left a girl said "Quick photo for Axis Magazine with the girls" and so he put his arm around us and the pic was taken. I looked gross...so do not want to see that photo. Cali and I stayed put after that and decided we were too hungry to hang around so we were beginning to head out when we were saying our goodbyes to Vincent, Matt and friends, Dan stopped us and said "Photobooth now?" Okay...so we are on our way and people are trying to stop him and he is like "nope, sorry can't stop, photobooth" So funny. Cali and I get him in there and we just laugh. He's good times. Just what I needed.

We were leaving for good this time and the lasting line from Dan "This weekend is ON!" yes, my friend...it is! Big 10-4 is JUST what I needed.

We leave The Social and freeze our butts off walking to the car. It was *so* cold, but I could not wipe the smile off my face from that night. What a great show! So we head to Denny's while chatting and listening to, of course, Big 10-4 and enjoying the night's recap. Walk into our usual "after The Social Denny's" and run into Julie. You stalking us? "I wondered if this was YOUR Denny's" *grin* So we sit with Julie and Nikki and review the photos taken and events that happened. Good times. Just what I needed.

"I'm learning to breathe...I'm living again...." "Learning to Breathe" Switchfoot

Squeezed my hand into a fist. Pumped my veins to pour the blood. Looked away. Feeling faint. Mentioned that I was waiting to meet up with my friend for lunch a bit later. Started fading. White dots began appearing. Asked for cold water. Couldn't think anymore. Couldn't see. Couldn't breathe. Felt weightless. Gone. Felt some coldness on my lips. Began to see again. "Hold my head down under water and you pull me up just to watch me suffer...well I am like a deadman washed upon the beach"

I totally forgot to mention my day with Ian in my last post. This began it. Me passing out. "We lost you there for a moment" Yea...I know.

Met up with Ian immediately after at Chick-fl-a to put some food in my system. Had great chats and re-bonded as we always do. Got a page from Coop asking why he got a strange message. It was a combination of the Twilight Zone and Playhouse Disney...strange. At least it's not a "me" stalker. *grin*

We went and scouted out a nice nails place so we could get a pedicure/manicure. It was fun with Ian, but kinda a painful massage and less than talkative event. Not many chances to talk about personal issues and drama in our lives due to the company we had. They were sweet, but very quiet and less than welcoming in my opinion. Still got a good "nail-job" and headed out soon after.

Went and got a milkshake next door at Steak and Shake and got some talking time in there. Very good times. I love that kid. Thank you for spending the day with me. Parted ways so that I could drown in my money situation and then went to meet up with Amy J later on that evening. I can't believe I left that out of my last entry. Oops.

Moving on past Monday. K had made it home okay and was beginning to feel better. I was getting updates of percentages. "10%....now about 15% more...okay good...and currently 40%" It's getting better. I am glad. He really worried me.

Had an okay morning at work and did a great Spotlight class. It went really well and I was feeling extremely confident in my role and in knowing what my purpose was. Got back to the office and had a one on one with a cast member whom I adore and was hearing some saddening information that made me want to better the situation to make them have a better experience, but I was helpless. I tried to think of what I could do to make it better, but apparently nothing I can do or can try to do will make it better. Kinda depressing.

Got home feeling torn. Torn about a lot of things. I settled in and determined to stay home in my hole. Came out of my room to see the roomies and Libby for a bit and watch some of "Garden State" to at least be semi-social when I headed in my room to grab something and noticed I had three text messages. I responded to one that told me information of "we are going out" assuming that they were going out and were just letting me know. So I said "okay" and then noticed the one before it said "I am coming to get you, put some jeans on" so I was being kidnapped. And it made me grin.

I want to take this opportunity to show my appreciation to all my friends and "family" You all are extremely important to me and I am so thankful to have you all in my life. I am so fortunate and blessed to have these people in my life. I don't know how I got so lucky to be honest. I am not as good as a friend as I should be and I really don't deserve these kinds of friendships, but know that I truly am thankful for each and everyone of you. I don't know what I would do without you. Because life to me is about the people you are around and what they do and how they treat because that is what makes the world good or sad. If those people decide that you aren't worth the time, worth the effort, worth the sympathy then they aren't worth what I thought they were.

I was in a "mood" on Tuesday due to lots of reasons, but I really just wanted to dig a new hole and sleep in it forever. Funny how that didn't occur.

"Tears at Taco Bell" I wasn't hungry. Tears were shed. Moments were explained. Feelings were shared. Time was standing still. It's amazing how someone else can feel the exact same way, have similar moments and experiences that fit in the big picture, but are totally different in their execution. The friendships that you make and bonds that you have can change you to who you want to become just by having a conversation and sharing different point of views. One conversation. One table by the window. One kidnapping. One change of mood. One helpful song "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend" One moment in time. One good friend. Many tears....tears at Taco Bell.

Talked it out and rested on the thoughts. Thought of new things and new ideas to make things better. Tried to not hold a grudge. Tried to give a benefit of a doubt. Tried to not seem confusing. Things will get better. Thank you.

"Hold my head down under water and you pull me up just to watch me suffer"-Big 10-4 "Deadman"

Came home and crashed. Next day had a pretty good day at work. Started off with some reviews of the day before and thoughts on how things could change, but sadly I don't think they will. I am leaving my position in a week and all of the things that I have tried to bring in, change, make better, update, fix will be useless. These things I have been working hard at will all be done. These strengths and issues will be over. And I will be back to doing what I have done before. I finally got used to what I was doing, my role, my purpose and now it's over. All I can say is that I have enjoyed getting to know myself through this role and overcoming the stress, overcoming the nervousness, overcoming the pressure and learning how to embrace this role. It was a great experience and I am thankful for having it. Thank you for everyone who helped me along the way. You know who you are.

Got home and again prepared to spend the night in my hole. But I had company. Nick came over and brought liquids since I didn't have *any*...yes Julie, still using the change, but now I am on my dimes, sadly enough. I made spagetti cause it's all I had in my cabinet and had some good chats at the table.

I requested Nick to pick out a movie and although I did have to do some convincing, he chose "Crossroads" and it was great to watch his reaction to the majority of the movie. I think the consenus was that it was "pretty cute" and I will take that how it is. Great to have the company and a moment to take my mind off of things and crawl out of my hole for a bit.

I really do love my life. I couldn't be in a better place. Orlando is my favorite "happy place" in the world out of where I have been. My apartment is my home in every sense of the word and my haven. My friends are my life. My family is my heart. My work is my magic. But not everything can be perfect. Not everything can be simple.

Leads me to today. Had work as usual and was pretty good. I am so happy that I have had the opportunity to make random relationships into true relationships. Caring, honest, trustworthy, confidental, meaningful friendships. I wish that more people would allow these human "true" relationships to occur without the worry and stress of issues or drama. Just let things be meaningful and true without things being wrong and without things being fake.

Today was pay day and a little less stressful than I thought it was gonna be. So I celebrated by filling up my gas tank and getting my hair cut finally.

I have discovered that it really doesn't matter what you tell the hair stylist because they are gonna do what they want to do with your hair no matter what. In my experience this has happened everytime. I would like my hair cut. Shoulder-length. Not shorter. Not longer. Shoulder-length. All one length. Not my hair in the back being longer than my hair in the front. Not my hair in the front being shorter than my hair in the back. I want it razor cut and flipped out, NOT IN. Flipped out. It's amazing how all this was repeated back to me, agreed on and understood and my hair is nothing like that. My favorite part was when the hair stylist cut half of my hair and asked me my opinion. As if I could actually say that "No, that's too short" and have it mean anything or be fixable. Not a good hair experience. I need J Janis here to fix it and make me feel better. "I want you back..." (yes, it's an *NSYNC reference).

Watching the OC for the first time tonight. Like it so far. Still in my hole. I like it here...just keep digging more.

Carla is gonna steal me away tonight...along with Nick, Daniela, and others...it shall be a good time I am sure. I need it.

Just when you think your life is somewhat good, something bad always has to happen. But it seems in my life, everything goes wrong. Not very chachos at the moment...but things were so good for a moment in time. This life sucks.

Going back a bit to Friday. Amy J and I decided to hit Margaritaville to see BlueStone Circle again. It had been too long. The bartender hated me cause I paid with quarters "Just better be enough" jerk. Amy J spilled her "mangorita" and got it replaced by the hottie Shawn...nice. Roger held a nice conversation with us and I found out that I like him more and more every time I talk with him. AJ came over and promoted his next "original" show. Saw Michael and happiness occurred *grin*. Got a chance to dance with the "Sex in the City Trey" who was there with his mom and certainly *not* UK. *giggle* Sooo funny. He was a nice enough guy...just very questionable. Talked to Dave about why they haven't learned Switchfoot yet and he had no clue who I was talking about. I had to school Dave. Good times...he's looking them up as we speak. I am anticipating our next visit to have Switchfoot covered at some point during the set. The boys came down into the audience again, but this time Dave was included. They all came over to Amy J and I playing to just us for a few moments. I love those kids. Then, AJ rocked my world with "Let's Get It On" and the world stopped for a moment and I was completely elated. Good times with Amy J again...it had been too long my friend..."I think I'll go for a walk outside yea..."

Got multiple calls and texts from K that night...hearing things that I had *never* heard before and didn't believe any of it and sure enough I was right. He showed up bright and early the next morning along with Julie and Kim right behind him. Brought me breakfast and we were on our way to the parks. Focus of the day was to show Julie a great time at Epcot, show Kim Mickey's Philarmagic, and have a great time at Disney. So....first off we get to the Contemporary where I get stalked by the security guard. Yea..not cool. And I don't completely blame Julie, since it *was* my fault, but trouble *does* seem to follow her. Apparently. *grin* We get to MK and do Mickey's Philarmagic and thus begins our incredible day at Disney and *almost* makes us forget about keeping "the lookout" for the security stalker guy. Of course he gave me a big smile and wave when I left the resort. Jerk.

Headed on our way to Disney-MGM Studios where Julie *almost* conquered her fear of the Tower of Terror except the fact that she hated it even more than the first time. Poor girl. She was so good and went on the ride with us, but literally shook the entire time and yes...there were tears. Made me sad just watching her. The photo was so sad, if I had enough quarters I would have bought it, but it was the saddest I had ever seen Julie and I am just holding onto her hand and watching her. *frown* But she was *so* good so we got her ice cream afterwards. "Does it come with two..." YES! "Can I get one scoop..." YES! "Okay cookies and cream with mint chocolate..." YES! *grin* Guess they can do anything at Disney, but at least it is said with a smile. YAY! Good ice cream...and Julie flicked The Tower of Terror off and was much happier walking away. We did rock out on the Rockin Roller Coaster of course and happiness was had.

Then we were onto Epcot where the line to get in was backed up way too far. I went and did my detective role and found out that because of lack of cast they halted entrance for a few moments. Not cool Epcot...let's go. So they did open the gates again and all was good. Got in and rode Spaceship Earth and proved to Kim and Julie how much fun "to communicate" is. *grin* Headed to the Lobby soon after to see my friends and talk to O'Kelly about finding Dopey. Julie's goal was to get her pic with Dopey again to reinact her childhood Disney moment. Unfortunately, Dopey was not visiting anymore that evening and O'Kelly could see the disappointment in Julie's face so he made a "magical moment" and gave her a cerificate proving "Dopey Awareness" and made her day. She was so excited. "It's going on my wall" Thanks O'Kelly...that rocked and helped enforce why Epcot is so much fun!

Headed straight to Mexico at that point and had Fiesta Margaritas with some nachos that were less than to be desired. "I don't want to bird to come in my mouth" *grin* Maybe we should just stick with our normal routine, K...so we head to China and get refreshed with egg rolls and fried rice. Yum. Started having one of those "moment" type conversations that I started "If we were 12 right now, do you think we would all be friends?" We all agreed that would be a "no" sadly enough. We discussed it in and out and determined how different we all were when we were 12 and glad that we met when we did. Funny how life works out and how certain things are just meant to be. It amazes me. I truly believe in that.

Tangent: Lots of things in my life are just not right at all at the current moment. Not gonna get into specifics, but I am quite down. Nothing socially wrong. I have the best people in my life that I could ever imagine, great friends, wonderful roommates, great family (in all uses of the word) and great co-workers, but other issues are weighing on me, pulling me down and holding me there. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes and I wonder if that might be better. I know everyone has problems like these, but somehow I think mine could be worse. Getting off my tangent..

After China, we head all around the world until we hit the UK to grab a yard, get an englishman to randomly do my voicemail and watch the British Invasion. Great times. Kim and I were in the pub when I decide that I want a UK cast member to do my voicemail. On the way to attack the cast, I start to prepare my cellphone and this guy (a guest) randomly says hello to me and it is noticable that he has an accent (YAY) and he is hot...so of course I stop him and ask him "Do you have an accent?" and where he is from, in which he replies "Birmingham" and I give him a look and he quickly finishes with "England" Makes more sense. Then, I ask him to do my voicemail and he was like "You are makin fun of me right?" and Kim and I were like "Nooooo!" and he claimed he loved our accents more and said it was the third time that day he was asked to do a voicemail, but he said he would do it anyways. Happiness.

So he asks what I want him to say and I tell him as long as he mentions my name in it, he can say whatever he wants to. Hmm...maybe not a good idea. *grin* He grabs my phone and says in his hot little accent the following: "Hey, Carolyn can't come to the phone right now cause we are shaggging. She will give you a call back after she gets over my penis" *laughed out loud* That was the funniest thing ever! I could not stop laughing. He was adorable though. Said our goodbyes and made our way back to the pub.

Watched British Invasion with the peeps while the guy sitting next to me is fast asleep (who sleeps during British Invasion?) and we rock out. Got our photo with the guys after they preformed. Nicest guys. Good times. We started a line though...oops.

Headed home soon after that and got ready to meet up with everyone at House of Blues. I had planned on getting K Jimmy Eat World tickets for Christmas, but when I had gone to get them they were, of course, sold out, but thankfully Gianina rocks and got the last four tickets off of a "frequent HOB online we-sell-tickets-for-sold-out-shows list" email and got two of them for us. Good times. K and I were running a bit late while Amy J, Gianina, Katrina and peeps were all inside the venue. We were walking to the box office to pick up our tickets at will call when I spotted a familiar face. One that I always look for wherever I go, one that I am customed to freak out when I am around, one that I admire, look up to and throw up when I am near. I spotted Chris Kirkpatrick of *NSYNC. Not only the coolest guy on the planet, but my favorite person that I don't know. He was looking as great as ever and I immediately begin to feel sick and start muttering to K, who is walking in front of me, "to your left, to your left, to your left, Chris Kirkpatrick is to your left" and he has *no* clue what I am babbling about cause I can barely talk to begin with, let alone make any sense whatsoever.

I finally get K to understand what I am saying and he goes "for real?" and I am like "LOOK BEHIND ME" then he finally understood why I was turning stark white and about to pass out. "Are you gonna throw up?" Quite possibly my friend. So we get our tickets and kinda stand out near Chris and by the front of the booth where we see other girls trying to take pics of Chris while he is talking to his friends and getting his VIP passes. Not cool, so I basically tell K that I need to be removed from Chris and begin breathing again. We went out to the end of the line, which was wrapped all the way around the building, and we run into Erika (who works at DAK GR) and we chat for a bit while I silently freak out about my Chris spotting.

We get inside and there's Chris again with his posse and of course I get white again and seriously need to calm myself so we go inside and away from his crew. Just such a strange thing. I know people can't understand it, but I just have so many emotions tied with that man. Whew. So...we get inside and see the gals, but head to the bar first and foremost. K knew exactly what I needed at that moment. Talked to the girls, spotted Amy J and Jackie in the third row and waved, then told K that I had to say something to Chris. I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by completely. He agreed and wonderfully followed me up the stairs to view the VIP area. On the way there we run into his friends and old band Time. They rock and of course made fun of me for being sick to my stomach over a guy. I spot Chris and his posse in the VIP area and start to feel more comfortable with the fact that I am breathing the same air as Chris from *NSYNC and I start to act normal again. Another trip to the bar assists with that as well. Good times.

Chris makes his way to the "peon" area and he is literally two feet away from me. This is where I am trying to stop from shaking or spilling my beer, where I try to think of something "normal" to say and where I try to convince K that this is a rare moment where he actually gets to see what I am like when I am near an *NSYNC member, especially this particular one. So...I tell K what I am thinking of saying to Chris and he says "well now, let's think about this" and I can't figure out anything better so he begins to follow me and I start to slow down and he starts to push me and all of a sudden I am standing right next to Chris. With K behind me, I tap lightly on Chris and say "I just wanted to say that you rock, can I say that? Cause you do and I just adore you" and he is smiling back at me and saying "Thanks...thank you, thanks!" I look back at K and he is dying laughing at me (obviously Chris notices) and we walk away and I am so happy I can barely talk. Carolyn=BIG DORK. So K congratulates me on not throwing up on Chris and we walk down to see the gals again. Good times. Very chachos and I am in Heaven.

I immediately regret not asking Chris to do my voicemail, but because I am sure he has done it one too many times and could really be put out by it, plus my goal of *just* wanting to tell him how much I loved him versus asking something of him was more important so it's a good thing...and certain things are meant to be. Great example of that.

K celebrates with me and we end up chatting with some fun girls and guys all around us during the two opening bands. I was a fan for the first one "Reuben.." something, but unfortunatly not so much of a fan for JJanis' tour, Elephant.

Jimmy Eat World finally came on and we rocked out to a great show! Very enjoyable, but my legs were killing me from walking all day at the parks and then jumping all night for the show. Good times were had though. Thanks K for a wonderful time! Funny moments of the night include when some girl was causing a fight with several different spectators and K immediately grabs me and holds me back, while the security guard takes the chick away. We try to see Katrina and Gianina and make sure they are okay, they were and we were rocking out again in no time.

The show ended and we headed out the venue to meet up with Amy J and Jackie to say hey and then went to meet the band. We went over to the side where Tom of Jimmy Eat World was hanging out. He was three sheets to the wind and quite a funny guy to interat with. He cracked me up, more than some know. I was plently comfortable with him so when he was in a down moment of fans, I asked him to do me a favor and he immediately said "YES!" with no clue of what I was going to ask. Yes, Tom is now on my voicemail. Good times. "Hey this is Tom of Jimmy Eat World and you've got Carolyn's voicemail, leave her a message or she'll find you" *grin* Good times. He's no Chris Kirkpatrick, but he'll do until I meet him again.

These random guys come out from backstage and give Gianina and Katrina their all access passes randomly. They both look at me in amazement and I tell them to get their butts backstage and bring Chris to me *grin*. They, of course, stalled until I pushed them to the door and then hung out with K outside for a bit. Saw the random all access guys again and requested two more and he gave them to us, I slapped one on K and told him to follow me. We quickly ran into the girls backstage and hung out for a bit.

Did some random promoting and then ran into Rick (Mitch) from Jimmy Eat World. My favorite Jimmy Eat World guy. He rocked. Had a nice little convo with him and then we went to stalk the lead singer. Saw the drummer but missed the signing opportunity for him and instead grabbed the lead singer and said our hellos to him. Rick came back and borrowed my marker again (apparently I was the only one prepared, that and the fact that they confiscated Katrina's at the door, how'd I get so lucky?) then came over to chat. I adored that kid. It's so funny to watch your friends get tongue tied and act differently than they usually do when around "famous" people. Of course, I *know* that I am NOT one to talk (seeing my previous *NSYNC meet and greet moments) but the conversation was quite funny. Gianina found a way to sneak in "chachos" because we figured if Jimmy Eat World were to pick it up, it could spread to the MTV area, which was our original goal. So she brings it up and he asks the origin. "Do you really want to know the origin?" and he did seem genuinely interested so I told my story and he adored it. He promised to spread it around like he is doing so for his friend's "Drinking game" Funny stuff. He explained how it works and I am all for it! Good times!

"Um, I think the bus is about to leave you" Literally moving towards us and Rick is still chatting it up with us. I adore that kid. He runs on it and we leave totally satisfied with our entire evening. Good times!

K and I head to Taco Bell. "Look Behind You!" and Katrina/Gianina were in on that too. Crashed hard when we got home and woke up for a productive day at work as Hypercare Manager on Duty. Very crazy and cool day. I really enjoyed that role for all that it was worth. Went to "Welcome to Moe's!" with Coop and enjoyed a Switchfoot introduction to Coop.

Got done with work and headed home to pick up K and head over to The Haven to meet up with Julie, 867, Kim and Nikki. I was exhausted and K wasn't "feeling 100%" so we were a bit down when we got there. I got excited cause the door guys were totally excited that I was paying for my cover with quarters (always helps when the people are supportive, then I don't feel quite as much like a schmuck). The rocked. Les and Mike. Very cool guys. 867 supported the poor and bought me a drink...thanks 867 and we watched the pretty band boys walk around. There was a band playing over the speakers and I really enjoyed them, next song I liked even more, so I started asking around who was playing and amazingly enough it was a band that I have seen before. I can't remember which show it was, but I know that I saw them cause I couldn't figure out if it was "R50" or "RSO" but apparently it's with the number and I do remember it being at The Social. Good stuff I tell ya.

The bands began to play and they were really horrible. There were four bands on the bill that night and the one we went to see was, of course, last so we were suffering through the others just barely. The first two were just sooo bad. Not pleasing to my ears at all, but yes, fun to watch either way. K determined that he was really not feeling well so just wanted to crash in my car so shortly after I say goodbye to the girls and head on out to take him home and so I can get some rest as well.

We come home and K is fading fast and I am ready to crash so we sleep. I got up early for work again and K is not looking so hot. He wakes up enough to ask me where the hospital is just in case and that made me want to stay home with him, but I had to go into work, being the MOD today again. So I head to work feeling so bad to leave K and let my managers know what is going on. They rock. That's all I have to say. Met up with Tom Shrunk, Coop and Dave at Main Entrance and discover what the day holds for me. Craziness and stress, but good in a way. Had a conference call and actually participated. Craziness.

Came home to check on K for my lunch break and determined he looked and seemed a bit better, but still not good at all. Checked my email while chatting with K and found that "nada" from myspace wrote me back. Granted, this might possibly *not* be Chris from *NSYNC, but it doesn't matter to me. I wrote "nada" about the Jimmy Eat World show and told him thanks for being so cool and he responded with a "yea good stuff, I love those guys. It's always cool when a random cute girl gives me a compliment" YAY! How happy was I? *grin* It doesn't even matter if it's him or not. I will just imagine it is. Headed back to work after he fell asleep and took the rest of my day in stride with the assistance of my co-workers. I adore them. Thanks everyone for worrying about K with me. Made me feel better. You guys rock.

Came home and tried my best to convince K to let me take him to the doctor. Got a little frustrated with some other people that could have been a bit more helpful and supportive. Tried to do my best with my advice. That didn't work so I called his mom. *grin* Unfortunately I did freak her out a bit unintentinally, but got my point across and she told K to let me take him. Went to urgent care and spent an hour in the "waiting room" cracking some jokes and resting a bit. "That's what friends are for...for "good times" and bad times...I'll be on your side forevermore" I love you K.

Finally, K got seen by a doctor and he texted me from inside saying "OH WOW were the doctors exact words" when looking at his throat. Aw I wanted a pic K. *grin* He has some kind of tonsilitis and is on stereoids and the strongest antibiotic possible. Poor kid is just laying here, can't sleep, can barely eat, can't talk and not moving well. This sucks. I feel so bad for him.

Off to lay down and stop thinking about all my troubles and "drama's" as Coop likes to say...

Last night was good times. I got off of work after having a "balloon" moment with Scotty Ireland. I love our balloon moments...always a great chat. O'Kelly tried to stop it, but that wasn't happening. Good try though...

Shortly after getting home, Julie and Jenny were knocking on my door. We headed down to Virgin Megastore to get Julie her magazine. On our way we walked past The Blues Brothers and didn't even flinch. "You know you're a resident of Orlando when..." *grin* Was walking past House of Blues when we caught a bit of this guy's preformance when he was playing outside. He looked somewhat familiar to me, but I still can't place where I think I've seen him before. Regardless, he was good. He was playing some originals and we were hooked for a moment. He was starring at only us even though he had a pretty big group of people around him so we felt like we were his "target audience" and we stayed around for a bit to support.

Finally escaped when we felt it wasn't rude and headed to Virgin. I made the girls promise to not let me even touch anything let alone purchase something so I had my hands behind my back the entire time. We got Julie's magazine and then headed downstairs. Before we went for the line, Julie spots a box of cheap vinyls and I am about to break and look through them as well, but I stepped away to avoid any contact with the love of my life...music because God knows that I would buy that entire store if I could. Thank goodness for *some* self restraint.

Headed out towards House of Blues again and heard the chords of "American Pie" so of course we had to stay and hear it, but we must have forgotten how that song just goes on and on and on. I don't really think it ever has an ending. We began to regret hanging out there when the singer anticipated audience participating and stopped singing for us to fill in. So yea...it was Julie, Jenny and I...and that was about it. I don't think anyone else was participating or maybe it was the fact that we are *so* loud that we were drowning everyone else out. Regardless, the singer was definitely depending on our participating to help him sing the longest song EVER! And it didn't stop there...

"American Pie" finally ended and the beginning of "Blister in the Sun" began quite soon after that so of course we had to stay. We began to flash back to PI nights with FYC and were in our own little world. Everyone else who was around were clearly more intoxicated than we, seeing as though we weren't drinking at all, yet we were the ones rocking out. We even attempted "to go down" but refrained after all the stares of the people around. We did, however, put our hands way up high for "big hands I know you're the one" and I sing FYC's version at the end very loudly while the singer does not...yea that was nice.

At this point, I am wondering what this guy's name is so we can look him up later via the internet. So I yell "what's your name" from across the way and he simple states "my name? I'm Jason" as if I just wanted to "meet" him. So I giggle cause he is clearly not understanding the point of my request. He then mentions that he is IN a band, but does not mention the name so I ask again "what's your band's name" and he finally gets it and says "My band's name is Jason and the Congregation" which adds more giggling from us and then begins to go on his soapbox about website information, etc. Funny kid. Glad he finally "got it". So if you want to check him out, go HERE!

Still couldn't leave at that point so we stayed around for his version of "Hey Ya" and we did the dance (totally could have passed for the backup singer/dancers that we were) and laughed our butts off when he utilized his second microphone for his highter pitched moments and backup or whispering parts. Funny stuff. Reminded me of Mikey's rendition of the same song last St. Patty's Day...good times.

When Jason wasn't looking, we skipped out and headed back to my car (including my wonderful stereo system...sorry just can't get enough) and we listened to Lindsay Lohen, which I shared my favorite song on the album and Julie fell in love...I know...I know.

Got home and started cooking us some dinner completely forgetting about the drinks, I am such a bad hostess, but finally it entered our heads. We traded stories of meeting celebs (mostly *NSYNC) and random "hook up" moments. Those girls crack me up. "Can I only put it in once?" Thought I was gonna die from laughing too much...hilarious.

Three girls, drinks and good conversations..what could make this night better? Hmm...so we watch some movies and laugh our butts off...at that point we are randomly chatting about "ber" and Julie comes up with our new word of "dar" that is perfect for the moment and it just starts growing from there...check out the latest FYC messageboard comments for all our crazy thoughts...funny stuff.

That was a good night...sometimes crazy girl talk is all you need....thank you for that..

Got to work today at a decent time and had some good one on one time with Scotty Ireland in the VP window. I think I made him laugh too much..."Ooh next in line are hottie band boys...or they could be foreign, yep they are foreign...hmm Germany no doubt" *giggle* Got to talk to some hotties about casting and Epcot...fun times for me at work today.

Coop called and played his guitar for me over the speaker phone. I was doing some work while he is playing me Matchbox Twenty. So fun! He started 3AM and then did Real World...I told him he needs to learn Switchfoot so he pages me saying he found some and is working on it. YAY! Good times...

Just been hanging out tonight and thinking about things...life is strange isn't it?

Thursday night: Nick came over and we watched some "film" and drank some "refreshments" while Carolyn got loaded on the way there rocking out to BIG 10-4 and could hardly get out of the car because I was laughing so hard at Nick spilling liquid all over his pants. Good times.

Met up with the crew and partied down at Motions. Random dude comes up behind me and whispers in my ear asking for a New Year's kiss...explained to him that it was clearly not New Year's yet and that kiss cannot be premature. Sorry. *grin*

Watched Stormbringer for about a second before realizing that Bohemium Rapsody should not be covered by this band...do not slow it down anymore....got outta there as quickly as possible and went back to dance the night away and close the place down.

Was hungry so stopped by Perkins where Donovan gave his famous puppy dog face to the waitress in response to the mention of no grits. Oh it was a sad moment for that fella. Hot boy Dave walked in and stole my heart....good thing Nick knows him, bad thing that he says Dave's a jerk. Still great eye candy. Whew.

My sprite got attacked my tabasco sauce. Thanks K....and the poor water was overloaded with pepper. What grade are we in kids? Oh wait...guess the intelligence level does go down depending on the drink amount. Ha!

Crashed hard and got to sleep in a tad on Friday. First day off of the weekend...good times!

New Year's Eve: Met up with Julie and Kim at the modeling agency aka a house. "You work in a house?" Went inside and it rocks...what a cool place to work. Just reinstated the fact to never judge a book by it's cover. Listened to "Memory" acoustic and fell in love all over again....oh that song.

Wanted to be a model for like a milli-second and then got my sanity back. Funny moment. Went to lunch at the China Buffet. Had lots of selection. Ribs at a chinese restaurant. Hmmm.

Headed to the mall in search of the best NYE outfit ever. Had tons of fun shopping with these girls. Julie was my fashion expert, but was quickly promoted to my Fashion coordinator after showing me Charlotte Russe and introducing me to my favorite pair of black pants EVER! These pants were just suppose to be "supporting try-on" pants. Ya know, the kind *just* to try on for the sake of seeing what the shirt would look like with black pants on, but they quickly became my favorite piece of clothing ever. And inccidently what I want to marry...she got the same pair after seeing them on me and we now are having a double wedding. It's amazing.

I picked out this hot shirt that I never thought would look good on me, but I was desperate after trying on several different shirts that I thought would be acceptable and didn't work at all. I went and tried the HOT pants on with the HOT shirt and amazingly enough...I looked HOT. When I walked out of the dressing room, a random customer looked at me and immediately asked me where I got the shirt cause "That is hot!" ummm yea! Sweet....this was the outfit. I knew it the moment I put it on. Although my fashion coordinator and I did agree that the fly aways were not the best option for the shirt, but I can deal with that. It was the best option and made my day!

Kim was so cute..."I've never really gotten that excited about clothing before" ME EITHER!

Got a call from Donovan around 2pm saying that K was still asleep. Nice. He wanted to pre-party at my apartment before dinner so we step up some tentative plans and then we stopped by Hot Topic so Julie could exchange a shirt and I found these cool black bracelets on the counter that state "Music=Life" and they are made out of the rubber band material that have the "Livestrong" and whatnot on them, but specifically for music charities. We all got hooked and bought them up. Totally love it. It fits my lifestyle. Go out and get one!

Went to the Icing for Julie to get some accessories and saw the cutest shirt on a girl that stated "I love dirty boys with no money" How does that always occur. It's true my friend, it's true.

Got done with the mall and headed out to CD Warehouse specifically to take free posters and not purchase anything. We are so classy. So we walk in and strut ourselves through the aisles and I spot *a* box with posters and in thinking we were gonna just run off with that box, I eye it carefully, glance up at the cashier, make eyes with Julie and start to pick it up when I notice the price on the box $10.99. Wtf? So I give a questioning look to Julie and she gives me the "wrong box stupid Carolyn" look. So I go discovering again and finally find the "free" poster box by the door. Convienently located I might add. We get on our hands and knees and plow through the box like there is no tomorrow with "oohs and ahhhs" coming from yours truly. I was completely unaware of the cashier who was standing right behind us and asked me if I was hyperventilating. Thanks buddy....I just really got excited about the ones from the shows I had been to. Good times...

So we nonchanlantly exited the store and giggled the entire way. So glad our purpose to enter that store was to exit with our arms full of posters that didn't pay a dime for. We took photos and headed out for the getto bank and them back to the modeling home.

Hit major traffic on the way home and sang my heart out of Yellowcard...good times. Got a call from J saying he was "in town" geez that phrase is just funny to me. Made the calls to K and Donovan telling them to come on over to the apartment so the pre-party could begin. Got there after my attempt of avoiding some of the traffic and met up with J, shortly after K and Donovan arrived with Liz. We started the events and headed to dinner at Kobe.

Hmm...don't remember being seated at Kobe. I remember having two groups of people at our table. One being an older couple right next to us. They were so nice. "Happy New Year" Thank God for napkins...got to know Liz a bit better. She was really sweet. Donovan was two-fisting it and the beer kept coming. It was a fun night. Our chef asked to open my "pocket" and I said which one and started to tug at my already too revealing shirt while he and his other chef counterpart giggled and stared. Funny times.

Headed to DAK Lodge and got the tour of K's room. Sweet pad my friend. Had some refreshments, attempted to take phone photos, laughed and watched random tv shows. Carla met us there and we started to make our way downstairs to catch a cab. Got one in pretty good time and started watching the meter and began freaking out.

A cab was a great idea for many reasons, but whew....expensive and a headache especially more so for the way home. Needless to say...it worked okay. Got downtown and started making our way to Wall Street where the line wasn't too long, Big 10-4 was already on stage, and I began making my calls to find out where Julie was. Got in and immediately found the girls along with Mark. Julie, Kim, 867 and Mark were rocking out. Good times. The majority of the party had to pee so we headed first to the bathroom. Yea..long lines. I began to stand in ours until I heard the beginning of "Well I've been through enough to know I've seen enough, I'm done acting brave, I'm done acting tough cause getting tripped up every step provokes this change of mood" and I RAN through the crowd to the front row (ignored every inclination warning me of how bad I had to pee) and rocked it out. I grabbed K, Donovan and Liz up front for a good total of five minutes before they left for the bar and I was rockin out alone again, but I couldn't have cared less. Those boys rock my world.

Found the rest of my party and sang the songs I love while hanging out with my friends. Nick showed up FINALLY and it was great to see the kid. Saw Dan and he called me over. I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember it being a fun conversation. Was making a trip to the bathroom finally (at some point) and Jenny totally cut the line (good thing I actually DID know her) to be upfront with me and we totally went in the stall together. I can't even explain the horror of this toliet, but we didn't care at the time, but it was like a porta-potty but totally inside. Gross, but it didn't matter. Funny stuff.

Made our way to the bar, bonded *grin* and then was waiting to "bond" again when I announce that it's five minutes until midnight and we need to get outside. Still waiting until some random girl brings us a full bottle of champaign including plastic cups. WTF? We take it and run...literally so we don't miss the countdown. Got there just in time to distribute cups, champaign and semi-explanations and we countdown and cheers. Good times with good friends! Hugs and kisses everywhere. Happy New Years!

This was definitely my favorite New Years as of yet. Good friends, great band, free alcohol, no problems, no fights, no worries, great drunk photos (thanks Julie), great clothes....great night.

But it's not over yet. We stick around for a bit dancing and having a great time just hanging out. Started to make our way out and travel to the best place to grab a cab. I ran into my Verizon Wireless guy AGAIN downtown...I love that kid. And then of all people "LOU F***ing Pearlman" which is exactly what I said to him, in which he heard every word. Oops. He had two bodyguards with him that could easily be squished and he just smiled and waved at me. Funny stuff.

At that point I had seen enough and Liz and I took control to begin searching for a ride. I walked up to a random limo and asked if they were waiting on anyone inparticular. As he was turning me down nicely, a guy behind me asked if I needed a ride. Liz and I were like "YES, but we have six people" and he said okay cause they had a surburan and were cool with it, so we bring our crew over and what would you know....Donovan KNOWS the guy...from work. One lives in NC and one in NY, how does this occur. Everyone sees someone they know in Orlando...it's a given. Funny stuff. Regardless, their ride never came, so we went in search of another cab and with the assistance of a homeless man, we got one. Good times. Watched the meter with fear and happiness at the same time. Glad to have gotten a cab at all to be honest. Tired ride home, but eventful just the same. Enjoyed the convo with the cab driver. "Meet some interesting people" What a question...."Do you ever have people that can't pay?" Now just who would ask that question while in the cab on NYE and haven't paid yet. The cab driver goes into this extended story of how he almost took a guy to jail when that happened once...nice.

Got back to the lodge, said our goodbyes..until tomorrow and headed out. What a fun and eventful night. It's amazing how things happen so naturally. Good times were had. Not a lot of plans, but everyone came out and we all had so much fun! I am extremely thankful for all my friends! Fun times.

Crashed...was sore from all the dancing. Woke up the next morning several times. Wanted to sleep in, wished I could, but had some difficulty sleeping. Tossing and turning was the problem I had. Loved the smell. *grin* Finally just got up and showered to really wake up. *grin* Never thought a shower could feel that good.

K and Donovan were calling the entire morning. Apparently they woke up BEFORE me. How does that happen? Caught them right when they were paying for their bill at Perkins and they were on their way over. Nick and Jess were as well. Plans for New Year's Day included pimping my ride. I love those kids. Donovan and Liz hung out while K was putting in my speakers he got me for Christmas while Nick, Jess and I traveled to Target to get my stereo adaptor. Came back in record (but safe) time and began watching and helping the boys do their thing. My car was sufficiently taken apart, but in a slow process. We determined that it was "harder to take out then to get in" however the boys had some comments about that...because sometimes it was the opposite and sometimes it wasn't, etc. Funny talks while they are laying backwards in my car and upsidedown on the seats.

Jess was a trooper and hanging with the boys and playing with tools, while I watched and provided chatting and beer or what Julie would call "ber" Nice!

After finally taking out the old radio, the new cd player was quickly placed in and the speakers worked wonderfully, my six changer was still operational, I could hear clearly in the back and my happy butt was singing along to Mikey Acoustic. What a wonderful sound! I have the best friends ever! They all rocked my world. Donovan was watching football, driking beer and hanging out while Liz was looking up fix-it information for her car on my computer. Jess, the boys and I were rockin out in my car and then we all decided food was next in line.

Nick and Jess went to have dinner with Jess' parents and promised to meet up after while we all headed to Chili's. Two for one baby, two for one. Donovan cracked me up while whispering in my ear "Carolyn...when I say I am going to the bathroom, I am really going to the bar and having a couple of shots" Great Donovan...great. Two seconds later he announces to the table "I am going to the bathroom" and gives me a mischievious look.

Donovan's friend Cyndi hates me cause he handed me the phone and told me to talk to her, so I did and she hung up and wouldn't answer his calls. Oops. What did I say? Not sure...I don't even remember...but apparently things are okay now....whew.

Had good talks over dinner, called Cali and made plans to meet up with her and Tony at my place after dinner to play Texas Holdem Poker with us. The crew filled up my apartment. Nick, Jess, Liz, K, Donovan, Cali and Tony were all around the table placing bets while we watched "Full Metal Jacket" and Tye, Jane and Nelson chatted. Jordan walked in and freaked out a bit at the crowd and then stated that he was in where the party was. Ting walked in shortly and my apartment quickly turned into the "Friends" atmostphere that it typically is.

I wasn't as bad at the game that I thought I was gonna be. I won a couple times on my own and a few times with Liz's assistance. Good times....K won a good hand and so did Cali....it was a good time. I enjoyed it. The more I played, the more I began to enjoy it. Although I am not the biggest card person...it was fun with the friends.

Donovan stayed on the phone with Cyndi most of the night with his "electricity maker" plugged in and his continuous sounds of crackling and whatnot before "loosing his connection" and then calling back immediately. What a strange guy. But funny!

I hit the sack hard cause I had to wake up at 5am the next morning for work. The kids were so great about letting me sleep. Woke up pretty easily and headed off to a crazy day. It went by quickly, but it was quite stressful and nuts. Great time though. This was one of the first times I actually felt like a "coordinator" because of the title and access to resources. It was helpful. Good times. I was in charge of quite a few people, but they rocked it and did a great job! Things went smoothly for the most part for our new ticketing system and we were pleased.

Got a text from Donovan quite early telling me thank you and figured out he woke up K and Liz about an hour after I had left to start hitting the road. Poor kids...they were tired!

I am glad Liz got home okay cause her car was having sick spells....I so feel your pain my friend...

Got home and really wanted to crash, but instead my computer decides to do it first. It totally retrieved a virus from something (I am guessing some lyrics popup that I was trying to locate) and deleted everything. I hate this crap. I had to reinstall everything AGAIN! Just got finished with ALMOST everything today. Still not done though. The digital camera always throws me off....grrr.

Obtained some crazy photos from Julie...now you have blackmail for my my friend...but I still think I beat you...too bad I lost my pics when my computer went psycho...grrr again.

I have been keeping it low the past couple of nights. Going to bed way too early just to avoid things and to obtain some rest. Watching Everwood currently and enjoying the solace of an empty apartment, a cool beverage and a comfy couch.

Work has been crazy lately. Just a mention. Glad that I work with the people that I work with. I am very blessed with that...I can't remind myself enough. Thankful, thankful, thankful.

It's amazing how Everwood is so familiar everytime that I actually get to catch a bit of it. Crazy.

"Send me an angel...send me an angel...right now...right NOW!" Irrational makes an incredible cover...Thanks Nick "Track 10...so funny I am in the middle of it right now" Nice timing!

I need to step on my soapbox again and just wonder how people can think they can live without things being equal....just don't understand. I am a strange being. Things can make so much sense in my head and then when it comes out into the real world, when it comes out of my head...it just gets clouded and confused.

Did I mention how much I love my new "sound system" in my car. Thank you everyone who assisted! I adore you!

Do I have any resolutions? Umm I haven't thought of any specifically, but I am still considering.

Cannot wait until this weekend. Glad I am resting up this week so that I can do it all over again this weekend. Parks and Jimmy Eat World on Saturday. How excited is this girl?

Hanging out with JHey and watching some Digital tv...very excited. So glad I am caught up...sometimes my life weighs on me until I can write about it and get it all in my journal. I am so weird about that. Strange...