"Oh what a night" Whew. Day Six...craziness. It all started with a fun-filled day at work. Hmm, yea right. Wasn't that bad, extrememly slow at times, information based, guest oriented, good talk, great *NSYNC Christmas tunes, good company, wonderful visits (JHey) and a nice closing.

Good times..day went by rather quickly. Got a call from K "Where are you, call me back" Ugh...they were on their way to get some pre-show drinks (turns out with Nick and Jake) while I was working (so sad).

Got changed and headed to PI with drama already hitting the fan about tickets. I felt so bad for K. He was getting frustrated with the system and all I could think about was my role in this mess. I was now seeing both sides and filling out a GSR. How strange was that? Oh geez..

Cali left me and I joined up with some of the crew at the club and it wasn't long until the group started appearing and filling up the floor. Nina came! YAY! So good to hang out with her! Thank you girl...it meant a lot!

"What are they doing with my song. They are *messing* it up!" That was funny!

So highlights of Day Six are as follows: Gianina and I have begun the slide and pleading process for "Devastated" in which my knees are severely brusied, but yes Guy "brusies fading away"...It is now "F*** Yeah" FOREVER! *grin* Julie was letting me read her awesome article and I just had to give it back before I left, so in the middle of one of the songs I was reading it in the corner when J scared the crap outta me and took it away. Guy had to step in and say "That's what will happen if you read at a FYC show" *grin* Sorry...had to put it away. Julie DIPPED with me...for J and for me or so she says. Thank you my friend! Got beads from Edward, got Anna to sing "LOVE-OV-OVE is what I got" Good times! Nachos went everywhere...oh dear. Danced with everyone. Got three new people to learn our "line dance". They were too cute!

Why does it seem that I am coming out with more bruises from FYC shows then going in with. Geez...amazing how that happens. On the knees, arms, hands, and other places as well..

And...some of the security are getting me all riled up. Ooooh If I weren't a cast member...you just don't treat people that way, period.

Got done, walked them out, tried to help (stubborness runs all around my friends), said goodbye and sang it all the way home.

JHey was up so we've been chatting. Cole stopped by and that was fun. He's a great kid. Been chattin it up with Chris...so glad you are coming to visit. *grin* I can't wait!

Going to crash now, work is gonna come earlier than I anticipate!

Certain people just know how to crack me up. Specifically, K, Cali, Valerie and Julie. Funny people last night and all for different reasons. I think K and I just needed to laugh so we created a venue to do so. It all started with one text from him when they were about to start playing and from then on, back and forth and I was giggling. So funny. "Stop!" J didn't like it too much, but somehow K was still playing...*grin*

At one point Cali, Valerie and I were all the floor laughing our butts off. All about the night before...I couldn't breathe..I had to "separate" myself during "Waiting Room" to really appreciate my favorite song on that album. So I went and hung out with some of FYC's friends. They have been totally fun the past couple of nights.

Do I really need to say again how much I adore Lon? Well..I do cause I love him even more now. He's so fun! He can't stay away when FYC is here..and who can really? *grin* He came down and danced with us during our "line dance" song. Of course this was after Valerie and I tried to chase him down first. *grin* But he did the finger in the mouth and everything...adorable. Love that kid.

Guy just plain makes me happy. His facial expressions and random occurrences just make me giggle. I may not know exactly what he is thinking (and that is part of the fun) but he just makes me smile. Nice guy that Guy....and a good guy too.

Chris actually made an effort to me last night. I tried to get him to jump and he did...once. That was impressive.

I've been finding out lately that everyone likes to jump on me. Not that I mind, but it's just funny. Last night, Valerie decides "I am gonna jump on your back" Okay...so she does and ends up "riding" my back. *giggle* I swear she is gonna fall off and I when I can't hold onto her anymore, she hangs on for dear life. *grin* So funny! Cali and I are trying to perfect her "run and jump" but we were slacking yesterday for some reason. Then, at the end of the night...Valerie straddles me for a goodbye...so funny...

We were all pretty beat after the show so we all piled on top of each other (since there was no one there on a Sunday night-yep we made up the crowd the entire night) and it was fun until we got told that we had to get up. We were pretty obvious since no one was there...the guy had to do something, why not it be telling us to get "up off the flo" *grin*

Thanks Scott for playing Wheatus...you rock! "This goes out to Carolyn!"

So I woke up at 8:30 thinking I had to work at 10 when really I need to go in at 11:45...how grr am I? I am so confused. Ah well...still out in time to see FYC so I am happy with that. What can ya do?

Yesterday was an okay day at work. Getting better and better as we get through the challenges of the holiday season. Christmas music has been playing throughout the park and it's strange to already begin the celebrating in the craziest time of the year at the parks.

My trainee checked out wonderfully and I had a variety of trainees to hang out with throughout the day. O'Kelly ran over my foot with a 60 pound Segway...yea thanks. Got done at a decent time and headed out home to get ready for my dinner date with K. Got some crappy news from Nick...I'm sorry my friend. Needed some good cheering up...I was up for the cause.

Got to Hooters to meet up with K, J and some new friends. I immediately get called out by the waitress as looking familiar to her. She apparently thought I was the band chick in a band that had come in before. That or I am just a regular. Good times. That was funny. I would love to be recognized as a "band chick" *grin*

It was good to finally get to spend some extra time with K. It has been crazy with both of our schedules to get that time in and it was short, but worth it.

Headed to PI and met up with Gianina cause she was so sweet as to have my ticket into the club. "Girlfriend" was playing when I was walking up and I knew it was gonna be a great night. It set the mood for me. *grin* Gotta love me some *NSYNC.

Highlights of Day Four include Cali and I singing "Drove downtown in the rain/ 9:30 on a Tuesday night" right before the song actually started and Jason totally changing it up on us because we called it. Bastard. Then later as we were just patiently awaiting the next song, Jason comes up to me and tells me "You don't know crap!" Thanks J...thanks...actually I know more than you think I do. Guy tells me later that it was his idea and it was awesome that J said that. Ha! Grrr...

Having a few people still doing our "line dance" during "Desperately Wanting". Good times...it catches on so quickly. Major highlight was when Jason was introducing the song, Guy did it for us on stage, with the finger and everything. You rock my friend! We are getting better on the "I will follow" ideas. Originally it was just following one or two people back and forth, but not actually a line. The night before last we determined we needed to make it an actual line, but people weren't too quick to catch on, but last night it worked much better. We even had Jason join in...we are so strange...but so fun at the same time. I just told random people to follow me...and they did. Some friends of the band were there and they totally joined into everything. Very fun! "I won't be devastated" *smile*

"Cause I've lost count of all that you've used" *giggle* Hands and feet my friends, hands and feet!

Lon rocks my world. That kid is the best. So funny and so nice. Immediately when he saw me, he came down and said "hey, wanna hear some Wheatus tonight" Heck yea I do! And he played it...he rocks! *grin* Thank you my friend...

Cali was too cute "Okay, stay there, I am gonna run and jump on you" *grin* Happened several times that night...glad my pants didn't rip. Thank you for the shout out Julie...literally laughed outloud.

So by the end of the night, Nick's request of "Can we hang out tonight?" turned into a P*** party at my house. Good times. Taco Bell first then Cali, Courtney, Valerie, Nick and I sprawled out all over my room watching some funny footage. Good times. Laughing then eyes closing....

Woke up quite disoriented and feeling really nervous for some reason. No idea why.

"All this time is wasted on all I've done"

Met up with the roomies who ask me what I did the night before and berated me for not waking them up to join in on the fun. I will next time my friends...*grin*

Got ready for work...got in and had a pretty good day of playing catch up with my COT role and then preparing for the coming days. Got my preformance review from Scott Ireland and he just rocks my socks off frankly. He is so funny..."You are a rockstar" *grin* Thanks...you helped make my day.

Grabbed some grub, hopped on my Segway (yes Tom Strunk...MY Segway!) and headed out to Gateway for te closing part of my night. Going to hit Day Five tonight. It just keeps getting better. "I've seen the changes and it's getting better all the time.."

"Now that I can get by on my own two feet...my skin is tougher now, much much thicker now, my thoughts are much clearer now"

Today was a crazy day...ya know it's gotten to the point where I am so stressed that I just don't even know where to begin once I get to work. I know my focus and what I need to be doing, but then I just get hit with something new and challenging. Don't get me wrong, I love a good challenge, but sometimes it feels like it's impossible to catch up. Will I ever catch up?

Got to work and Homer put my head and heart to rest. Thank you. Started off my day to a better start. Trained my trainee and what is a day with no hicups...certainly none that I know of, but the majority of the day wasn't too bad. It was busy for sure, but we got through it. Tomorrow will be the lets-fit-everything-into-one-day review. Good times.

Thanks O'Kelly..and Ireland you rock! I always need a good "fantastic" answer from you! Did I mention how much I adore Chris May and Ian? Happiness!

Made a lot of magic today and things were pretty good...closed the place down and ran out to head to PI. Got a message from Jen of "Where the streets have no name" played by HONESTLY! Sweet...she and my bro (and friends) headed out to see them in the ATL...rock on!

Got a text from Cali "Where are u?" I'm coming...*grin* Finally got my ticket(s) and *ran* to the Beach Club....aww I felt so loved...HUGS from everyone! Good times. It suddenly got warm.

Tony, Cali, Valerie, Gianina, Katrina, Lisa and friend, Julie, Jenny, Billie, Amanda and tons of new found friends rocked out tonight. Best part of the evening was when Julie and I's dream came true.

"Desperately Wanting"

Cali and I had choregraphed a small cheesy dance to one of the songs that FYC plays. "I remember running through the wet grass, falling a step behind...both of us never tiring, desperately wanting" We have always done it and usually it's just us, but others have been joining in slowly each time. Well, tonight was the night. This one guy was in my dancing space so I kept trying to keep him out of it, but eventually I gave up and just placed him where I wanted him and taught him and his friend the dance. They ate it up! In the meantime, Julie had gotten three guys learning it in the front with us. We had at least fifteen people in our row doing it when I looked up as I danced around in a circle and saw that *rows* behind us were doing the same thing. What the? The place had quite a few people in it and of those on the floor, they were doing our dance. How much out of a movie was that? "It's just like the movies" Ha! I looked up at Jason and Guy and they were laughing...how weird was that? *grin*

Immediately after, Julie runs up to me and gives me a hug "It's our dream come true!" Ha! Cali and I were like "They were doing *our* dance...Everybody's doin it!" How funny...Good times...Good times..

The next song after was "Burn" and the guy next to me asked me what the dance was to this one. So I just showed him a random generic beat that I do to songs and he started doing it. So funny! He then began to yammer my ear off in his THICK UK accent about a band or something and I just smiled..whatever dude, I can't understand you. *grin*

Other highlight was when Julie comes over to me and says "We are gonna mosh" So our other dream is to start a mosh pit during one of FYC's originals. Not sure which one is best fitting for it...maybe "Hollywood Ending"? *snicker* Either way, I followed her and the hottie boys taught us the "mosh dance" it was fun! We moshed a bit and then danced hard core!

Valerie! I missed you...so great to have my contiunal jumping partner back...never fails. Even when you have jumped all night. Hey...pour some sugar on me....and hope that guy doesn't come back. *grin*

Another one down....another three to go...good times.

So tomorrow is my seventh day. SO much to do, so little time. There are not enough hours in the day my friends...not enough at all.

What a past couple of days. Going back a bit to Wednesday when I began training one of our new cast members. It was a pretty stressful day and lots of things were needing to be done and weren't so that was bugging me a bit. It is extremely hard to do everything when you are only one person, but I did try.

The training part went well and my trainee is very cool. Got through the day just barely. Thanks O'Kelly.

Got home just in time to change and meet Cali over at my place. Hung out with the roomies until Cali got here, then made dinner and chatted. Thank you Cali for being there and not judging me. It meant a lot.

Headed to PI for such a fun night. It was bittersweet because we got to see the guys, have a great time and still were reminded every so often of the stupid MTV2 contest. Jason even changed "Waiting Room" to reflect what he was feeling. All of us couldn't even move. We know...we know.

We had a great group on Wednesday night and had a bit too much fun. Lisa, Gianina, Katrina, Cali, Julie, Jenny and I were spotting "celebrities" all night long. Jesus and Rick Springfield being the two examples. I bowed down and danced all night. *grin* I LOVE Rick Springfield, but don't love his song. *giggle*

It was strange to see Chris in the bass spot...where was Fish? We missed ya my friend. Tried to talk to Chris last night, but that didn't work very well.

Danced with yet another kid...for some reason I enjoy the combination of children and bands, but not children with anything else. Weird. *grin* Just me I guess. Totally taught this one dude how to do "our" dances for some songs. He was too cute! We are totally gonna live out Julie's dream of having the entire dance floor filled with people doing our dances..."it's just like the movies.."

The night ended really well. Usually when the Beach Club closes, the DJ plays one last song (most of the time it's a dance song or something rocking), but that night he played "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. For some reason, all of us in our group formed together and began singing the song, wavering back and forth. When it came to the part, we all instintively screamed "I'll be the biggest fan of your life" syncronized. Could not have been a more perfect moment to say it, sing it, feel it and show it. Jason and Kevin were still on stage listening and knew we meant it. Good times.

Listened to The Format with Cali on the way home and tried so hard to get the claps down, but that wasn't working at the moment. Got home and crashed. Woke up just a few hours later and headed to work. Well...this day beat all.

Met up with my trainee after finishing up some COT stuff. This happened to also be Thanksgiving. What a Thanksgiving. It did get better though I must say. Work was probably the worst work day of my life. One of those moments where you regret so much and can't do anything about it. Just an extremely uncool situation that forced me to break down at work in an empty office and let it all out. Thank God for people who believe in me, help me and know that I can't do everything by myself and understand that I am really trying my best! Cause I truly am.

Got home pretty beat up. Vented to Tye...thank you roomie. Got ready and headed over to Cali's for a Thanksgiving feast and wonderful company. I got to say grace (thanks Cali!) Had so much fun laughing and chatting with Cali's parents, Tony, Gianina, Katrina and Neo of course. Nick came in a bit after, but we all had a great time chatting. What a very good start of a wonderful evening! Thank you guys for creating an awesome environment, welcoming and loving. Made Thanksgiving so great for me. Lots to be thankful for once I got my mind off of the early part of the day. Giannina and Katrina made the best cake ever...yep definitely beat mine...hands down! You guys rock...AND you had stars on it!

"Divided, Deny it, Tell me what do you think of me now that I can get by on my own two feet. Don�t hide it, tell me are you a liar. Do you think of me now that I, I said I, I'll get by on my own"

Talked to my family and my nephew James got on the phone and told me he missed me so I told him I was coming home next month for a few days and that I couldn't wait to see him. Ya want to know what his first comment to me was after that? "Nanie? Can you bring the band members?" Umm...then my older nephew grabs the phone and says "You know what that means: Guy, Jason and Kevin, thanks!" and hands the phone back to my younger nephew and Jamesy cont's to tell me about how "Jason played with me on the floor" Aw. Then it got so much better...he started singing "Leaving Atlanta" to me on the phone. I almost busted into tears. That song does have an emotional tie to me and when he was singing it, he sang it really well for a three year old and I almost lost it. "Leaving Atlanta..it it it won't be the first time...." Oh dear...

Headed to PI and got there a bit into the first set cause the line was SO long at the ticket booth. Rocked it out on the floor and everyone started showing up. It was Julie, Jenny, Nick, Cali, Katrina, Gianina, Lisa, (which covers the regulars) then Darren, Andy, Todd, Daniela, Carla, & even Alex (Ghost Relations dude). It was like everytime I turned around someone else I knew was walking in. Good times my friends...thank you so much for coming! You guys rock my world!

The crowd was a little sparce at one point so during 867-5309 Jason told us to go outside and grab a least two people each to bring in by the end of the song. Personally I would not have chosen that song to do it for, but whatever...we said we would take on the challenge. Julie and I went and grabbed seven hotties coming out of Motions (Julie wanted some random older people going INTO Motions and I took a side-route *grin*) They were pretty postitive about the offer so we reeled them in, one by one. Good times. They stayed much longer than I expected them too....good times! They were nice...a couple of them stayed around for a long time. They were celebrating a birthday so rock on for them! Gianina, Katrina and Cali brought in a couple of guys too...we rock! I tried to block the door for a bit, but people were swarming in rather than leaving so I moved.

Lots of fun dancing and teaching the kids our choregraphy. Nick and Katrina joined in this time around...getting bigger...Gianina and I decided we are gonna have to start "warming up" the crowd for FYC with our own little "side-show" *grin* Too cute!

Had a hair-flipping contest with Julie. SO strange. I can only do that with you Julie....probably a good thing..we are dorks!

So funny when the entire top of the club has cast members hanging around while they are working to watch FYC. Amanda, Lon and Anna were all just hanging out upstairs watching them preform. Too cute! It's amazing the control they have over people.

"I'm burned out!"

Got "Time of your life" from Green Day as our closing song. Fitting. After saying goodbye to everyone, we headed out and Cali puts down the window next to me and it's "I dare you to move" on 106.7. Good times. We rock out and I go to find Nick. Try to see if Taco Bell is open, but duh it's Thanksgiving Carolyn. No go, so we head to my place as planned for talk and beer. JHey was home and so we talked for a bit then got some food and went through our current "dramas". Stayed up quite awhile...it was so cold in my room. Got warmer and then it was time to rest. Thank you Nick (aka heater *giggle*)....and I know...I know.

Crashed and actually got to sleep in today...or at least get a full eight hours (not sure if that counts as "sleeping in") and woke up with an extremely heavy head. I am not sure I can handle this right now. I am so drowning. I need to seriously pick up yoga or something to clear this all out. Unfortunately, I think yoga is just for skinny people, but dear goodness...I need a break. "if you're waiting for good news, well get in line cause we're all overdue"

Going to close tonight for our third day of training. Gonna switch out my laundry and start my day here in a moment...try and clear up some stuff.

I feel sick.

It's amazing how something that affects my friend's directly can impact me so hard. I feel sick for them. I feel like there is nothing that I can do or say to make it better. I had to vent...now I am done.

Thanks to everyone who voted for FYC. They lost by 1% to another band, but knowing that everyone that I contacted voted makes me feel so much better because you guys helped get them that close. Thank you for supporting me by supporting my friends!

Last night was the beginning of this. Amy J came over and we chatted for a bit and caught up on our lives....I love ya girl...then we headed to Cali's for the big FYC premiere. We ordered pizza and drank beer with Cali and her mom. So cute! Neo rocked my world. Then it was 9 o'clock. They were so adorable on TV...on real TV, not just from my homemade video tapes. It was a bit different then what I thought it was gonna be though. Kevin didn't talk much, Jason was in and out but Guy, of all people, talked the most. *grin* Loved Guy's shirt..and he knows it! Can't believe that Guy gave away the Madison "secret" on television. Cracked me up! Courtney made her debut with Valerie and Amanda "They've got what it takes" and then "Star" showing her star. They were too cute! But ya know what...see if I watch MTV ever again...

Got home and started the voting process...and voted and voted and had others vote all today. Kept busy at work. Tom gave me his Segway...LOVE YOU! Had a good/crazy day at work like usual. Couldn't wait to get home though. I was beat. Got home in just enough time to go see Jane for a bit with JHey. Met some of her friends and then headed to Cirque to pick up tickets for some of my cast. Met them there, gave them the tickets and headed back home to continue the voting process.

GUY was online...how crazy was that? He is *never* online. A miracle in itself. Got a call from Cali and the countdown began. Not gonna go through any more of the night, but basically I hate the 1%.

Going to unwind and unstress....watch some tv and listen to some tunes.

Today is the day my friends! FIFTH YEAR CRUSH will be preforming ON MTV2 (not to be confused with MTV....Julie *grin*) at 9PM TONIGHT! If you don't have MTV2 (like me) try to find a TV to watch OR just vote after the show anyways. They rock! Trust me! *grin*

So last night was fun! After work I headed out to Downtown Disney to meet up with Julie, Jennie and Mark. Before they got there, I was roaming around in front of the HOB when I saw someone I thought I recognized, but no clue where from. I just kept staring and wandering around. The crew finally got there and right when they did, my guy started to walk away so I quickly asked Julie who it might be and immediately she gives me the first and last name and location of where I knew the guy. "That's Brad Fischetti from LFO" O..kay, yep that is him and then she speed walks after him without a hestitation. Cracked me up!

We catch up and start handing out the flyers to his group and then Julie attacks him. *giggle* All of a sudden I hear "CAROLYN!" and see Julie waving her hand up in the air to get me to come over to her. Apparently the first thing out of their mouths were "Where can I hear it? I want to know what I am voting for" I had brought my compact CD player with FYC because I have done this before and people always ask "Where can I hear it!" I come prepared. So they listened to "Devastated" and commented "I could definitely vote for that!" Sweet! Rock on my friends! Rock on..and Jordan YOU ROCK!

So Brad was giving Julie information on his new label's bands and he said he would vote for our friend's band if we went to see his...so we made a deal. Sounds good to me!

Went up and down HOB, Virgin, PI, etc handing out flyers till we came to a stand still. All of a sudden I see who looks to be George W Bush taking photos with guests in the middle of The West Side. Then I see Ozzy Osbourne holding Pamela Anderson's hand and Chevy Chase right next to them. What is going on? These were impersonators like none before. Crazy. There were about twenty of them at least hanging around, posing for pictures, getting filmed by some company and not wavering from their character at all. I gave a FYC flyer to a few of them and then security said we couldn't hand them out "here" so we moved to PI. *grin*

Got nachos and saw my girls there and gave them flyers. Tom was our bartender (reminded him about the voting) and then saw Lon! "Can I request FYC? I have their CD!" Ah well, worth a shot. Too bad Disney doesn't promote local bands on the airwaves. Reminded him of the voting and he was all into it. He rocks!

After crazy New Years Eve with Rosanne and Elvis next to us, we proceeded to the bathroom as Jennie calls it "to drop a load" *grin* Good times. Headed back to The West Side and finished the flyers off there and in the parking lot. Got noticed by security, jumped in our cars and headed out.

We had way too much fun promoting. Good times as always...and for a great cause!

Make sure you vote for FYC at least, even if you can't catch the show. They have been working hard and now it's up to US to work for them! *grin* Thanks so much in advance and rock on!

Last night was good times! *grin* Julie had called me and asked me to hang out at The Social with Jenny, Kim and Jenny's roommate. I found out from Courtney that Canvas was playing so of course Cali was the first to call. DEANO is gonna be there! *grin* She was IN! So we head over there.

"I bet we will see Big 10-4 there!"

I was at the bar when Dan and Matt walked in. "HEY!" Good times. The drummer showed up as well. Fun times. The bartender rocked my world. He had such a great memory. "You promise that everyone has a wristband right?" Promise!

Hey Cali-"F You! I'm still ALIVE!" *grin*

Had good talks with Dan about music and the shows. He's good people! Julie and I jumped at inappropriate times and it didn't matter. It was fun!

Cali and I headed out a bit early cause we were loosing our hearing. Got in the car and Switchfoot graced us on the radio.

"I dare you to move!"

Cali drunk called people while I got us safely to Denny's where the food was *so* good! A different waiter from our own kept trying to talk to us. Finally when we were paying he asked me if I had a tongue ring that I was hiding. What? *grin* umm...no. "Are you sure? It looks like something silver is in there, like in mine" umm okay...no.

Got to get ready for another work day. Shall be fun. I am back in plaid for today....good times.

Hey Hung...love the blog. You crack me up.

Crazy crazy days. I can't stop to catch my breath. Thank goodness I have today off. Playing catch up on sleeping and relaxing. Feels so good!

Going back a bit, Ian, JHey, Libby and group along with myself went and checked out Bridget Jones' 2...it was okay. I still like the first one better. The second was a bit too dramatic for me and I kept wanting to scream at Bridget for the things she was doing.

"I can't breathe, I'm loosing control of my heart...I can't read you, I wish I knew what's going through you mind"

Went into work the next day for my overtime day of meetings and such. Met up with Homer and we went to IAAPA. The most fun ever! We had no clue what to expect, but this place was heaven to an ADD kid. Seriously, so much to do and you had no idea what you wanted to do first. There were rides and free samples of...everything! We check out the scene. I beat her butt in bowling, but she beat me by a small bit in basketball. We flew on this one ride called "Disc'O" It was insane. We straddled a chair and felt like we were about to be thrown into the air. It rocked! Had to leave shortly after we got there due to prior committments. Darn it. But it was good times!

Homer dropped me off at the MK and I was headed to proctor my first Spotlight. It was so much fun...a rush. I always love talking about my job and what I do everyday, but for me to present it in a classroom-like setting, like a teacher would, in front of cast members in other roles who want to do what I am currently doing...it's just so cool. Joseph from DAK and I did it with Anne, Peggy and Irene watching along with the 20 or so cast members in the class. It was so much fun! They all treated me like I was their personal contact into GR. It's so fun to be that for someone, like others were there for me when I was in their position. I loved it. Good day!

Got back to work and was done for the day. Came home, took a short nap and then was picked up by Ian to head to MK yet again for the Ride-A-Thon. It's an event where we raise money for children charities in the local area. It was tons of fun. Met up with O'Kelly, Sarah, Gino and Lesil. Too much fun! We were *so* "those people" being loud and having an awesome time. Stayed there the entire night and headed home close to midnight. Fun times at the MK.

Got to sleep in today for the first time in quite awhile. Felt so great. Although whenever I sleep in too much, I get that annoying light headache pretty much all day just lingering around. Ah well...it's worth it to a point. Got up finally. Fernando came over and hung out for a bit. He's so fun! Went to Target and ran into Andrea! Came home and started the laundry process and then headed to the pool. So relaxing..until loud people came. Whatcha gonna do?

I am working everyday this coming week. It's gonna be crazy fun! Training, training and more training!

Make sure to watch FYC on November 22nd at 9PM on MTV2!! VOTE VOTE VOTE! These guys deserve it! Get ready for the ride boys...it's gonna be a great one!

Sometimes I feel like my life is being taped. Like my thoughts are coming over a loud speaker for everyone to hear and be apart of the "storyline" of the show called *my life*. Sometimes I think that I am not the only one that is in the room when I am clearly alone. I think sometimes that people can hear my thoughts and ignore them anyways. How strange.

Been quite busy at work lately. There really aren't enough hours in a day. Good times either way. The workload is just amazing because of all the holiday stuff that is going to be going on, on top of our new cast members coming in this coming week. Gonna get crazy!

Watched "Mean Girls" last night after work with the boys. Hilarious movie! Such a crazy scene.

Had a potluck today at work with all the COTs. They were all pretty amusing. Got home to the boys along with Cole and Ting. Cole is such a cool kid. I really enjoy his company. Ting cracks me up as always. Got the dirt out of Tye...it's too easy sometimes. JHey and I called him out on it...we said the same thing...cracks me up.

Went for a run. Needed to think about some things. It's funny how life works out in such a different way then you expected. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Speaking of life working out like it's suppose to...Fifth Year Crush is going to be featured on MTV2 on November 22nd at 9PM. Make sure to watch because they are gonna rock the scene and take over! Make sure to vote for them! This is one of those *IT* moments and not to take lightly...this is gonna change a lot for them and I wish them the best. The deserve it. Every bit of it. And I have been very blessed to have been able to get to know them.

Going to see Bridget Jones' Diary 2 tonight with the kids. Shall be a good time as always.

Oh...met John and Becky finally. Funny how that happens. They were really nice and very cool! Seems they had been trying to track me down...guess I am not that accessible, even at work.

Gonna take a bath...full with candles and music...maybe some Rising..haven't listened to "Cradle" in awhile...I'm in the mood...*grin*

So I was just sitting here, chatting online, doing laundry and listening to "One Tree Hill" in the background and I hear a very familiar song. I start humming along trying to figure out what song it is because usually I know them right off the bat. OH MY GOD, it's THE FORMAT! Rock on boys! I love these trendy new shows that have up and coming bands' music featured on it. That rocked!

Okay so going back a bit. I was doing Super Soap Weekend when I last left off. Craziness, but the best kind of crazy. I loved the entire event! From hanging with the most intelligent, nice, genuinely caring people to seeing the fans adoration for these soap stars back to the craziness of an event schedule to the incredible outcome of a rock show. It was the best and I can't even begin to explain the experience.

Highlights were dining at the California Grill with Mike, Eden and Ryan. Going to Epcot with Eden, Ryan, Scott and Nicky. Hanging out with Michael and Seth while watching their dream come true. *grin* Seeing Jacob practice backstage. Watching Scott pace over and over again and see his sweet face everyday. Finding toothbrushes/toothpaste for almost the entire cast. Getting an earfull about the importance of makeup/hair for a shoot. Watching Jacob rearrange. *giggle* "Classy" Taking the President of ABC to the resort. Getting kissed twice by a soap star *sigh* "Thanks for last night!" *Grin* Seeing Eden's face light up. Mike's incredible attitude and positive inquiries. An experience that will never be forgotten. Thank you!

Crazy hours, exhausting schedule, wonderful people and the most intelligent people that I have ever been in a room with. So amazing. It was so strange to be on the other side of the event. The side with the stars, the side with the event, allowed in the VIP areas, backstage areas and the driver of the celebrities. It made me realize a lot about what they go through and what they have to deal with. It also made me think about how it is to be a fan and the things that these stars do for them...just incredible. It's amazing.

Good times..

After the fifth day of Super Soap, I dropped off my guests and headed home. I got a page from Amy Jo at the very last minute asking me if I am going to Honestly. Am I going to Honestly? HELL YEA I am going to Honestly. So I get home, change really quick, grab my stuff and hop in the car with Amy J and Taby. Two and a half hours later...

We had to pee like no one's business so after paying a *ache* $20 to get into FreeBird Live, we ran to the "Groupies" bathroom (there was a choice with Groupies or Roadies) I honestly had to think about it...*grin* Too bad I want to be both...*grin* While in the bathroom, we hear an announcement over the mic "HONESTLY!" HURRY....

They were *just* starting their song when we RAN into the dance floor (where no one else was at btw) and started jamming. You should have seen their faces. Hilarious. So shocked...They screwed up their song. So awesome! They rocked it out....6 songs for $20 and totally worth it! Poor guys were sick though, but you couldn't tell until they came off the stage and told us. They were too cute. I missed them! "I missed you Rob" with his response being "I know..." and then a quick "I know...I mean it's MUTUAL..the feeling is mutual...that is what I meant" *grin* You are too cute my friend! AND JOE...I love JOE! The Matts rocked as usual and were so much more personable this time around...poor Justin looked like he was gonna fall over. Man I love those kids. So worth the drive.

Passed out in the car on the way back....got home and slept like a baby. So good to finally sleep in. Nice! Went back to regular work today and played catch up all day. A lot on my plate..but it's getting better. I went and visited DU today and met our new TAs. They seemed very cool. Good times!

Pretty exhausted so when I got home I knew I needed to catch up on things here too, so I went for a run to get my mind "clear" as best as I could....worked out a bit...got all energized by listening to BIG 10-4 so I could efficently do my laundry, dishes, clean and go to the grocery store and now I am in my resting mode.

Waiting for Cali to call. We are gonna hang this evening and just vent. We both need it...shall be a good time I am sure. Cleaning of the system, cleaning of the house and cleaning of the soul...I am ready.

"Well push will come to shove so wipe that smile off your face...my frustrated hands can't untangle this, I'm waiting for the flipside of my world"

Yesterday was a good time. Got into work in the early afternoon and started my day. Went to pick up Eden and headed to the spa. About four hours later, a much more relaxed Eden appeared. Good times. Headed back to the resort and then I dropped her off to go over her lines for the evening's shoot and I went back to the office.

Had a bit of extra time to catch some of AMC on the tube and it was so strange to see these people that I have been meeting the past couple of days on TV. Not that strange because I have had it happen before, but just slightly strange. I am sure it's weird to them too still. Ya never know..

Ran into most of the AMC guides at the Yacht club and met Bob and his wife (so tiny!) and Susan, who came in with her husband and Chris. She was so nice and very friendly! And so tiny as well.

When I picked her up for the shoot, everything after that was just so surreal. It was a real soap shoot with hair/makeup and the whole package. Everyone was so professional about the whole thing. It was very business-like. I really loved being on the backstage part of the entire thing.

Jacob cracked me up. He was so funny! Came in all hot and sweaty from his running scene and sat next to me to get his hair done. Funny kid. Justin came in and he is the real nut. So animated and just kid-like all the time. I really enjoyed him. Very happy and definitely kept himself entertained the entire time. "Aw, now I have to go be myself" *grin* "Actors!" So funny!

Got to meet Alexia last night and she was adorable and totally down to earth. Very sweet! Got to see her do a scene with Eden. I am lovin the dramatic pauses. So fun!

Watched Jacob and the Bachelor's band play Jacob's song..something about "do you dream in color, better than black and white" It's a really good song, in my opinion and after listening to it over and over again...I love it even more! *grin* Jacob was such a rock star and I was totally all about the band...I spotted them a mile away. Good times! *grin*

After the shoot, we went back to the resort and I headed home around 2AM after a long day. It was a good day though! I got to get some sleep thanks to Xavier for doing pick-ups early this morning and I am about to head back in the office for rehearsals and such. Shall be great times I am sure!

What a long day...whew. I got into the office at DSA around 9:30AM and left at 12:30AM...umm yea. Lots done though, which was great! Had our meeting for Super Soap, talked it, walked it, over and over. Good times! I am *so* excited about this event! Got to see a bunch of guides at once, which is always fun..catching up time!

Ran some errands for the day. I heard a song on the radio today called "Over and Over Again" by Nelly and Tim McGraw. Funny how it didn't seem to effect me as much as it might have before. I think that is good. Stopped by Epcot to get something and found myself already getting a bit behind with my COT stuff. Caught up a bit and then headed to get my car washed. Talked to Amy J about Rock Boat 05..cannot wait my friend...cannot wait!

Got the nextel (had major fun with that...Lowell...come in Lowell *grin* "That's a BIG 10-4!") and the additional schedule information for my talent and headed off to do Food & Wine runs with Fernando. Good to "communicate" with him. He cracks me up!

Had lunch with Lowell and then dinner with the girls (Brandi, Regina and Melanie). I love the opportunity to be with other guides with these event type situations. So much more fun!

Lowell, Melanie and I headed to the airport to pick up our "stars" and had plenty of extra time just hanging out and chatting about life, love and randoms. Good fun! *grin*

Met Mike K, Jacob and Eden. They were all so nice and very funny! I loved them already! This is gonna be a great weekend. Everything went smoothly and got them all tucked away so that they could start relaxing. Tomorrow is gonna be another relaxing day and then starts the craziness that is Soap Weekend. *grin* Good times! I have seen the schedule and oh yes...it's scary! *grin*

K...I am thinking about you...

Ya know, Jocelyn always says exactly what I need her to say...at the exact perfect time...thank you for this email...

I have learned that I need to stop telling myself to "stop thinking" and to let myself continue to think more. That is the only way that I am gonna stop comparing the present and the future to the past. That is the only way to make things better. That is the only way to move on.

Gianina rocks! She drew "me" at the Backbooth show and I wanted to show everyone how talented this girl is. She even drew me "nicely" Thanks girl! SO cute!

Off to dreamland...

Welcome home...I am back on the Rock Boat...or in my mind anyways...let me go back a bit though.

Got to work in a fairly good mood, but it was quickly tarnished with some scheduling drama, but hopefully everything will work out just fine. It is quite stressful trying to think of everything before the activities actually occur, but I do love the challenge. I really do.

Got to working and got a lot of stuff done in one day, in my opinion. Had some meetings, most of which were positive and then headed out for the day. O'Kelly came back and was good to hang out with him again (only at work of course!) and started to chat about the volunteering that we *all* need to participate in. Shall be good times!

Got home, grabbed a hot dog and then got ready for the show tonight.

It was on my way to Winter Park when I had a breakthrough and just in listening to Gavin Degraw's CD, I let him go. Simple as that. And I felt *so* much better instantly. I don't know how it happened, and really didn't plan on it or force it, but just let him go. Good times again...

Got to Winter Park and chatted with Ian. Wanted to stop by the Park Ave CD store before meeting up with him so I checked out the latest at the incredible indie store. You will not believe what I found....

MARC BROUSSARD, the entire CD...brand new...$3.98. I thought for sure it was a misprint, so I looked at all the others behind it, but nope. They all had the same price listed. So I asked the store employee and he say "I pinky swear on it...it's on sale" Now, if I were Marc Broussard, I might be offended by the small price to pay for such an incredible album, but as a consumer I was rocking down the isle with excitement at the deal I was about to receive on such an incredible album. I get up to the register and not only does it really ring up the price that it stated on it, but I get a FREE Marc Broussard DVD along with it. How could my night get any better? Oh...but it does..

Met up with Ian and his friend Juliana, who was adorable! Got to the show and met with Juliana's friend (forgot his name...oops). Saw Derek, Xavier, Libby and friends. Spotted Dan from O-Town in the stands. Such an intimate venue. It was a sports arena at Rollins College so every area was a perfect viewing spot. So fun!

We were watching Michael Tolcher do his thing and I was people watching like I normally do when I spotted Dan from Big 10-4 back behind the stage a bit, so I walked towards him to make sure that really was him and he saw me starring at him so I gave him the rock on sign and told him in some basic sign language that he rocked and he came over to me, gave me a hug and I told him how much I loved the CD. Freddy was there too (he cut his hair!) and I waved to him from afar. Good to see them. Dan made a point to "run" into me later on *grin* and it was fun to see them there. I was sorta surprised. Regardless, very cool.

Definitely saw Steve Fatone's twin...and no it wasn't Joey, but geez this guy looked JUST like him. Strange.

Gavin came on and rocked my world...back on the Rock Boat for sure. It was so nice to have that reminder. I needed that right about now. Gavin was just incredible....just amazing!

He rocks my world...just never ceases to amaze me. I was just in a trance for his entire preformance!

Got my musical fix for this week and headed out with the gang. Was walking down the street by the soccer fields with Ian and Libby when I see in the corner of my eye a guy hanging halfway out of his car asking us "hey, what are you doing Thursday" and I look up a bit more to notice it is Dan from Big 10-4. Freddy was driving while his brother was literally out the window. *grin* Talked to them for a bit about their show coming up. They are so adorable! Good times...and funny running into them at that show!

I am so exhausted...been a long day. VIPing tomorrow...start of Super Soap so you might not hear from me for awhile, depending on what happens....we shall see.

"I spent too much time on my knees for you..I tell you mark my words this is the last you�ll hear from me...consider yourself set free" I am in LOVE with this band.

Today was my first official day of work as COT of Epcot Guest Relations and it felt weird not to have John Dontrich behind me telling me what I needed to do, but in a strange way, he was there. I could hear him in my ear reminding me of all the things he taught me. Very cool...in a freaky type of way.

I got to my desk and the first thing that I saw was my new phone. And a fancy new phone at that. Apparently they took John's phone to him (to keep the same extenstion, they have to take the entire phone..go figure) so I got a new one, which I have no idea how to use effectively. Funny, the tech guys left me a manual...too bad it is entirely in French. Well, guess I need to learn it again anyways...

Chatted with Mike and Wendy (my new office mates) for a bit and then got caught up on Outlook and such. So weird to be on my own with projects, meetings, cast to catch up with, questions and answers, collaborating...and more. Ya know what? I love it. It's so different from what I am used to and I am begining to understand my role better from just one day by myself and I love it.

After a very productive day at work (where I actually feel like I am getting things done now) I headed home with a heavy head and thoughts on my mind...as usual.

Got home and did a quick change for the last game of the season. Didn't play as well as a team as we should have or as we usually do anyways, but I played okay for the most part. We lost pretty bad regardless and we headed home with most of our head's down. I had bigger issues so I was just happy to get some of my aggression out while batting. That felt good.

Got some CDs from Amy J...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! My good copy of David Ryan Harris is with me...happiness! Been searching online for a bit tonight and found some more good music off of Kings of A & R. Oh how much I love that site!

Check out the webpage for the following band. Haven't heard their music cause my computer is soundless at the moment and they have nothing to download, but their site ROCKS! Barefoot The site itself is just fun and makes me happy...kept me completely entralled and wanting to know more information. Very creative in my opinion.

I also stopped by to listen to Bea and before I heard her stuff, I just grazed through her website and found that she rocks more than she knows. I can completely relate to her and here is an excerp from her journal...

I needed to read that...and think about that. Thank you Bea. Don't know you, don't need to. Hit me just right...

"All the little things I�ve learned along the way (Nothing can ever be picture perfect) Help to heal my wounds without any trace (On and on they help me carry on there) Hands come unbound and the only sound is silence...My thoughts are clearer now (I�m all surrounded) Thoughts come clearer now....Divided, Deny it..Tell me what do you think of me now that I can get by on my own two feet"

Crazy thing, isn't it...life. Just crazy. I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I would stop pretending. I wish I could stop dreaming.

I just need to stop...so hard to make myself stop...

Ready to go back to work tomorrow and work on more projects...I can't believe that I am excited to get back to work again...that's a good sign I think.

I start my tour for the Super Soap weekend on Wednesday. Shall be a good time I imagine..can't wait for the event!

Yesterday was a crazy day altogether with the transition of John Dontrich to me. It was a meaningful day and a very stressful day of goodbyes and trying to get everything sorted out for my taking over. Tomorrow is Day one of Carolyn in her new position by herself. Little nervous? Yep. But excited at the same time.

So last night I got ready and headed to Gainesville to see FYC. It was at Market Street Pub, which I think is a pretty great venue in itself. I really enjoy the atmostphere and the crowd that comes there. Tons of people were there and it was so good to meet some new faces and talk to the FYC family. Got to meet another one of K's uncles, who is adorable and so funny! He cracked me up. Robin, Michael, Becky, Kelly and her husband were all there and I was so happy to finally meet Kelly! She was so cute as I expected her to be! Joe was the bassist from Time and did a rocking job! Very nice chemistry together in my opinion. Seemed like a cool guy too.

Valerie, Catrina, Giannina, Shannon and Jen, Cindy and crew plus Matt were all there to represent well. It was fun in that crew. They all cracked me up....we got to hang out more with Hey! Revolution, who were all really cool guys. Jason, Jeff and TJ. Got to meet Ryan (one half of Mission 19) and it was their last date with the guys so it was good to see them play at least once (we had missed their preformance the night before). Very John Mayer like, but it was good. Nice voices.

Got there right at 9pm like I had planned so that I could have my time of one hour to get toasted. Free keg until 10 (or when it ran out, which btw I had the last cup and gave it to Michael) I am by the keg when I look up to who is standing next to me in a hot white button down kinda cowboy-like shirt and it was GUY! I couldn't believe it was him in that shirt. I had never seen him in it or one like it so I was shocked a bit. SO cute! *grin* Talked to Guy a lot, which I think he was just being nice to me since I was two and three-fisting it. He did make a comment about wanting to talk to me about "staging" when I wasn't "two and three-fisting it" and he didn't believe me when I said I was in good mind. Next time. Sorry Guy...tell me these things before I start "fisting it" *grin*

Robin and I got to have some talk time and she just makes me so happy. She's the sweetest person ever and is so loving. She even came down during FYC's set and danced with us. Too cute! I adore her!

So Hey! Revolution had an *NSYNC sticker on their money box...they rock!

K started the set with "Please stand clear of the doors.." FUNNY STUFF! I was like, are we on the monorail? *grin*

Best part of the night....FYC played not one, but TWO of my favorite songs LIVE that they either rarely never do or have never done before. *jaw dropped* They played Bring down the Stars (favorite song ever!) and LEAVING ATLANTA. Oh how much I would have LOVED to have had my video camera there for that. It was definitely a moment. Especially when Valerie is sheding tears on my shoulder yet again. *grin* Good times though. I was amazed...awesome awesome awesome. That alone was totally worth my drive to Gainesville. See boys..this is why I try to go to every show. I can't miss things like that. Incredible!

Mission 19 got up and did a rap medley with FYC and it was funny! Wish I had my video camera for that as well. I know Shannon got some good footage so hopefully she will share. *grin*

Hey! Revolution's lead singer Jason wears a sweatband across his head and it reads "HUNG" SO funny...K saw it and laughed so hard!

"Hold my head down under water, would you pull me up? Just to watch me suffer?" Yea...ignoring someone is not my idea of a friendship.

Got to save Erin from chatting. *grin* She's so funny! Valerie bought a huge pizza for only $6 and shared with everyone..thanks Val! So we were walking around outside with a full pizza box trying to share. *grin* Hung out for a bit and met some other people..some that I was kinda shocked to meet and then listened to poor Cindy about her missing cellphone and decided to call it a night.

Matt was having a party, but something told me that I should not attend. Maybe it was meant to be for me to never attend a "Matt party" but I think I am gonna stick with my gut on that one. Said my goodbyes and headed out. I love Guy "So what are you doing after this? so what are you doing after this? so what are you doing after this?" Have you not noticed yet that I am stubborn? *grin*

Had to make several stops on the way home. Finally got back around 6am. It was a long haul and I was so happy to see my bed.

Had some really bad dreams that were making me worry practically all night so that wasn't cool. Have the rest of the day off and I just need to "stop thinking" and stop talking...

"I'm trying to find truth in words, in rhymes, in notes, in all the things I wish I'd wrote cause I feel like I've been losing you"

Yesterday was good times. Worked like crazy with John Dontrich and learned a lot! Got done and headed straight home to get ready for the evenings activites.

Headed downtown and got to Backbooth...found Fish and he bought me a "Sea Dog" which when pronounced is MY nickname "C-dawg" *grin* So...it's my beer. Sweet! It tastes a lot like blueberry, which is funny, but definitely different in a good way. Yummy. Had some good talks with Fish and then Guy found us. Chatted with him a bit until Jason came over and dragged us over to another bar to hang out a bit before the show.

On our way to the bar, I walked past my Verizon Wireless Salesman and turned around to scream it at him. *grin* He's too cute and SO nice. Turns out he lives right down the street. Good times!

Got into this bar across the street from The Social, where there were a bunch of people with nametags on. Come to find out they were there for their high school reunion...class of 1984 (I was four mind you!) and they were too cute. I talked with some girls who were very supportive of me joining their clan. I got a name tag and became "Hi, my name is...John's wife" Good times. Apparently there were a lot of John's in their class so it would seem believable. They were cute. Talked with a teacher from UCF, gave him some promo cards for his students and that ended my moment as a 1984 graduate. *grin*

K was pretty happy with the bartender...good times. 12 missed calls! I am SO sorry Valerie...found her finally on the street corner and we walked back to Backbooth and held our ears while the bands rocked it out (but the soundguy just makes it too loud to really enjoy). Hey! Revolution was great, but we could hear them great from outside of the club so that is where we spent most of our time "enjoying" them. I hate Backbooth.

Finally asked the soundguy for earplugs and amazing...he had extras. *giggle* Must have been asked before...get the hint! "C'mon Guy let's go!" *grin*

Giannina drew me...well my twins anyways...and my shirt, purse and body. She did a good job! Fun times. Met Richard with Hey! Revolution and then met Jeff and Jason. Good kids. Will see them again tonight.."Looking forward to it!"

Watched the next band who was just plain hysterical in every possible way. Bobby cracked me up! I liked the drummer too...funny peeps.

FYC rocked it out as usual...except when Jason messed up the lyrics (along with Cindy and Valerie amazingly enough) and when I was *trying* to sing the correct lyrics, I get looked at like I am in the wrong...no my friends...read em and weep...

"There's too many reasons for not believing again that one more time will bring anything new..I guess I've been outdone on this one cause I stand here completely confused.."

Granted..I do get lyrics wrong most of the time, but cmon...give me a break sometimes! Oh and it's "WAITING room" not wait, pause, think..."waiting room" *grin* I refuse to conform and change...

Okay off my soapbox...I love FYC no matter that...and I will stand by that and support them..

Which reminds me...I am off to support them again tonight in Gainesville!

Today was the last training day for me with John Dontrich. Sad day for him I think. We got a lot covered and I feel much better about my new role thanks to John Dontrich...a bit overwelmed, but in a good way. I am excited and if you don't hear from me for awhile, don't worry. Just means I am over my head in work. But I have tomorrow off to rest and then start all by my lonesome on Monday! Good times!

PS. Note to everyone...don't ever take directions from me. I am apparently not smart enough to figure them out..*grin*

"I could use a fresh beginning too. All of my regrets are nothing new. So this is the way that I say I need you....This is the way...that I'm learning to breathe...."

Tonight rocked my world...but let me start elsewhere first. Last night I got home and started doing a lot of catching up. Felt good about all of it. Yay! Talked to K and heard some "banging" in the background. *grin* Got FYC more lost...like I always do. *sorry* Finally got an okay and headed to bed. I slept better too.

Got up this morning and headed to work. It was a crazy day. I loved every minute of it though. It's freedom, but with so much independence comes stress and craziness at the same time. It's great though...I'm loving it so far. Worked a lot today on scheduling and getting training information out. Learned some new info and lots of new stuff that is in the works...very exciting and overwelming. Good times! Went to a staff meeting and met some new people. Feels weird working on this side. I haven't seen a guest in three days. Strange. I am going to seek one out tomorrow though. *grin*

After work, went straight to HOB and met up with Nick in the parking lot. Had some pre-party mixes and chatted. Got a call from Cali saying they were there. Met up with her and Tony at the restaurant and then Amy J came strolling up. Gino and Janet met up soon after that and we had our crew together.

Ate an awesome dinner, got our front of the line pass and headed to the line. They said we would pass A line, but didn't say WHICH line. *grin* We were really the first in there though so that was awesome! We ended up being like third row center and it was an incredible view. Bad side to it was being pushed in a hundred million directions and being squished with no control at all.

The first band was called The Honorary Title and they were good. At first a bit on the cold side, but then started to get emotional and I loved the 60s classic rock type style they had going on. The second band was called The Format and they rocked my world completely. Totally 60/70s type music and great preformers. LOVED the songs and the lyrics really moved me. Can't wait to get their cd...LOVE them!

Then...Switchfoot. It just gets better and better. They played a couple new songs that were incredible. Jon played "Only Hope" from the "Walk to Remember" soundtrack with just an acoustic and it was incredible. The entire crowd was singing it and it was so powerful.

Played my favs of course, which were all of them no doubt, but more importantly "She's on Fire" and "Learning to Breathe" which both threw me into a totally different world.

At one point, Jon comes over and comes right into the crowd in front of me. I am trying to help hold him up with his arm cause the girl behind me is holding his hand and trying to pull him down, while I am trying to keep him from falling...all this while he is singing and looking straight down at all of us with his beautiful eyes and meaningful lyrics. What an amazing time. Poor Giannina, Catrina and Cali are getting lost in the pushing, Amy J is being lifted off of the ground by the stupid boys behind her pushing up and the guys are trying to get all the people off of us. I am concentrating on not running over the small girls in front of me and maintaining Jon's stability so that he doesn't fall right into me. But what an incredible moment. Awesome to say the least!

Saw Karen at the show afterwards and then got to meet the lead singer of "the first band" and the guitarist of "the second band" which is what they were calling themselves while trying to sell cds. Funny stuff.

Headed out and called it a night...so tired! Have to work tomorrow, but then headed to Backbooth for the return of FYC!

"I don't want to get to close...I don't want to get close, you see this isn't where my head is. If you knew me, I'm not like this...if you knew me, nice to meet you anyway" I love me some Gavin..can't wait to see him on November 9th! I got my tickets Libby! Whoo hoo!

Courtney and I are writing an album...is it okay that I share this? *grin* We are starting with a single called "Switch" and the second hit will be "I'm still alive" but with some cussing in it so it will be inappropriate for children, which will take out most of our audience, but who cares...it's not for them, it's for us, right? *grin* Love the shout out on the blog btw.

"Switch" will go something like this "I keep telling myself I don't care, I can't care, I won't care....if only it were easy to turn it off... if I only had the strength, I'd flip the switch" Collobrate effort from Courtney and I. We will go half and half with the writing credits...we are gonna rock this album. Look out crowd...we are coming your way, poem-like. Ha!

So my part so far for the third hit "Stay Away" goes something like the following..."I wish I could just go away, maybe for more than just one day...come back and have everything be the way it used to be, when life was simple and questions were answered....I wish I could just go away for at least one day"

It's gonna be a hit!

Today was a blast. Got to work early to assist John Dontrich with setting up for the first Trainer's Retreat that we have had since I have been in the department. Good times all around. Lots of fun surprises and experiences! Lots of emotional moments. I teared up at least three times throughout the day. Got to do "heads and feet" which would have rocked anyone's world and especially rocked mine!

Got home at a decent hour and organized as much as I could without going crazy with being overwelmed by money issues, etc. I think I am gonna finally catch up though and things are gonna be great and smooth from now on.

Tomorrow is Switchfoot, which I am *so* excited for! Gonna be a party! Then it's FYC and FYC yet again...what a mix! *grin* Hope they are having a blast near my hometown right now!

Gonna get ready for tomorrow and finish some of the craziness that I have to complete and get ready for the madness of everything that life is throwing at me now...don't get me wrong, I am still loving to live..when I stop then that is when I have a problem, right?

.....

PS: I miss you B and T...represent me well...and I love you guys!

Was so excited to sleep in this morning, but it's so strange that sleeping in to me now is just till around 9ish or so. That makes me sad. I used to do so much better than that. Sucks, but oh well. Got to get used to getting older I guess.

Got some rearranging done today and organized a bit. Made me feel better. I have been getting too far behind on a lot of stuff. Got an awesome message "Just thinkin about you" Thank you...you don't know how much I needed that!

Getting excited about this week's concert schedule! SWITCHFOOT! Good times!

Headed to the polls, saw the line and declined. Got to work and met up with John Dontrich. Today was my first training day as COT. Good times! After a few scheduling meetings for training purposes, he found out I couldn't vote and sent me on my way.

Took an extended lunch break and voted. Took me about an hour and a half, but it got done. Good times. Got a call from Scott Gordon who happened to be a few people behind me in line. Good times! Chatted with him for a bit while watching him chat with me back. *grin* Ran into Jamie and another one of JJanis' friends in line. Funny meeting them at the firehouse for voting..it happens I guess.

So confused. I just don't understand...

Headed back to work and did a lot of stuff with John Dontrich. He taught me a lot of computer applications and request forms that he does. Loving the job already!

Set my schedule which ROCKS! I work Mon-Wed 10-6:45, Thursday 8-4:45, Fridays and Saturdays OFF with Sunday coming in from 1:15-10. How much does that schedule rock? SO happy about that!

Have to be at work early tomorrow for a Trainer's Retreat that John Dontrich is holding for us. Gonna be so informative and so much fun! It's in the crazy clown-like VIP lounge at Wonders and I love that place! Have to head to bed in a few to catch some z's and be prepared.

Later!

Is it bad when all the previous days just start to run together?

Okay going back to Thursday, which was one hell of a night with all my good work buddies and friends who reunited and partied like the best of them. Thank you to all who came to support my friends. From what I can remember...Nick, Jessica, Dwight, Amy J, Cali, Jennie, Julie, Gianna, Catrina, Patrick, Jamie, Cecile, Eduardo, Massimo, Mari and her roomie, Daniella, Darren, John Dontrich and friends (you have no idea!), Charles, Jason, Todd Musick, Chris and Jamie along with their friends, etc. I am sorry if I left you out, but I was a bit out of it that night...can I use that as an excuse?

Edward admitted to not having an accent. SO FUNNY! I thought I was gonna choke I was laughing so hard. "I TOLD YOU!" I knew it...funny guy though to have kept it going for so long. "I thought it would be a great way to meet girls!" Ha!

Almost got in a fight. Valerie was trying to get a guy off of Catrina and he was bumping into her and since I am bigger than both of them combines I decided to get in the middle of it and push him away. He was being a jerk and so I got security involved and she took care of it. She rocked!

Hid for some of the night until I was unfortunately spotted and given the third degree. Yea that was fun. I loved Fish's comment though "If you were gonna hide, why did you chose to hide behind Cali?" *grin* His response of pulling back to talk to K and then wonder where I went all of a sudden did crack me up. Oh geez.

Came back and crashed hard core from what I remember...not quite sure. Woke up at the break of dawn (really just around 10ish) to get ready for a day at Disney-MGM Studios and Epcot (which no longer stands for Experimental Prototype Community (or City) of Tomorrow just for the record) with K, Jason and Fish. Amanda joined us a bit later, which was a fun surprise. Rode rides, walked the area and ate some yummy food at Le Cellier. Got to see Mari's roomie there. John and Tari rocked!

"Like it didn't ever happen, today never happened..." Wasn't feeling up to par and didn't really like myself all that much. This has been happening a lot lately. Attempted to try and fix it, but it didn't happen.

Picked up K and Fish at PI and headed to Hooters for some drinks before the show. Good talks and a nice venting session for all involved and we just bonded a bit more with jokes and stupid comments. "There are some things that we can talk about..." *giggle* Talked to Joey Boone (I miss you!) and hope we talk again soon my friend!

Went to the show that night and sought out comfort and happiness in my friends. Held on a bit too long to Amy J and that broke it. Realized that I would be devastated and took it as a sign. Hoped it wasn't too late. Fought it the entire night and next day.

Saturday started Sarah and I's tour with the 17 people group from NY. They were pretty much the typically NY family and were excited to be coming back to Disney for the first time since childhood for the adults and first time ever for their kids. Sarah and I had an awesome time trying to figure them out and do MK for the day. Got in some good bonding time with her and laughed our way through it. Could not have done it without you Sarah...could not have made it.

Got done at a decent time and headed home to get ready for PI. I was invited to four Halloween parties, but with no costume, no money to get one, no creativity and no courage to choose from them, I opted not to go to any. Was wanting to go see Big 10-4 at Kate O'Briens or Graham at Cheers, but something else was far too much on my mind and it came first.

Got to PI pretty early cause it was CROWDED. Met up with Fish's girlfriend Sherry and her friends. Was hanging out with them to point out Cali for her until Fish came out. Chatted with Guy for a bit about chocolate. I love our talks. *grin* He's the cutest. Hooked him up with some of his own promo cards and he was good to go.

Almost broke down, but survived and shared what I have been holding in. Maybe I should do what I preach so much. Again, I am sorry and thank you for caring. I wish I didn't care so much...

*Hugs* can be a great thing sometimes...

Saturday was the best PI night for me of the week. It was awesome to rock out, see people I hadn't seen in awhile, hang out and have a great night with no regrets. Cali, Amy J, Courtney, Valerie, Gianna, Amanda and friend, Julie, Jenny ("I got your number!"), Christina (K's hot or not...) and friend, Cindy and crazy girls, Shannon, Trese and friends, Melissa, Michael and friends, etc. Saw Chris in the parking lot...he rocked!

Good times...

Got up on Sunday to take my tour to DAK. Ran into Fish and Sherry on a very secluded pathway. So random and very cool. Finished the day a bit later than expected and hurried home to go to the pool with K and get some much needed chatting in since I hadn't had time to talk with him the nights before. Spent a few hours just talking at the pool until dusk hit and it started to get chilly and when we started to get hungry. Headed back to the apartment where Tye and Jordan were chatting about their evenings activites and Tye mentions a guy named Mark Carter, in which K freaks out. ("There must be a few Mark Carter's out there don't you think?") Turns out they know the same people. Funny stuff.

Fish calls and inquires about a good Mexican restaurant and invites us out. So they come by and pick K and I up and we head to my recommendation of Don Pablos, which in my opinion, beats Chevy's anyday. We have some GOOD food, GOOD drinks and GOOD talks. Made my day oh so much better. Nice to chat with Sherry a bit more. She cracked me up!

Got home and K and I found Mark Carter hanging out with Tye watching a movie and so K and Mark caught up for a bit while Tye and I chatted. Started having a music night with K, just listening and thinking...then I started dreaming. It was the first night in a long time that I didn't have a nightmare or a bad dream regarding something in particular. So glad that feeling is gone. Hopefully it will stay away always. Caught some z's and that brings me to today.

Got up to finish up the last day of Sarah and I's tour with the same group. Had a great day at MGM and Epcot then headed home to find an awesome and sweet message and a great reminder. Thank you...you don't know how much that means to me.

So exhausted from this past tour...really took a lot outta both of us, amazingly enough.

Catching up on laundry...had to go buy some shoes and pants...Libby came with and helped me out a lot. Thanks girl!

I guess I can say it now...so I will. I got offered and have accepted the position as COT (Coordinator of Training) for Epcot Guest Relations as a cross-u opportunity as John Dontrich does a TA for Epcot Entertainment. I am starting my training as of tomorrow and am mucho excited.

I start my training tomorrow ("Meet me at YOUR desk!") YAY! I get a desk...and an extension...good times! Whew..

Gots to head to bed now...too much on my mind and need some sleep to feel better.