SYNCING

My thoughts

Sunday August 27, 2006

Song: "I don't want to surrender, I'm not a pretender" By Wideawake
Mood: Productive
Time: 1:42pm
Weather: About to storm..

Wow, I can't believe it's been since August 6th since I've last expressed myself in writing. That's just crazy to me. Let's see if I can give a nice review over the past few weeks or so. I've been working a lot lately. Needing the money. I'm so broke it's not even funny, but it's hard to also work myself crazy just to cut it, ya know? Makes it hard to enjoy everyday sometimes because each day flies by so fast lately.

CCMaD has been busy this month as well. We had an amazing Acoustic Showcase at The Studio Cafe with Emily Shea, Coles Whalen and Jason Libs. All very talented musicians and great people. Had the best MaD Monday! ever with Paul Shelton, Cityful & Casimir Effect. Everyone promoted very well and it was an amazing turnout. Helped that school started up again! We were stoked about that! Had our first UCF Natura Acoustic Showcase with Kissing Karma and Dirty Shannon. They were great, but unfortunately that venue was not the best choice and was disappointing on bringing out the UCF crowd for their listening pleasure. Just recently had a great show at DMAC Natura with Mike Sanchez (of Dirty University), Gary Pfaff (of Obsession Day) and Berg. It was a pretty good turnout by the end of the night, but unfortunately it just doesn't cut it with "suggested donations" sometimes. We are very excited about what's to come for CCMaD, Inc. though and very thankful for all the opportunities we have had. The community of musicians that we have been able to book and work with have been amazing! Thank you all for that!

Things have been going really well despite the random challenges that we've had come up in our day-to-day lives regardling CCMaD and our personal lives. At least they are positive challenges for the most part and we are able to handle them and quickly fix whatever needs to be fixed. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and with all the things have have been occuring lately, they are all serving a purpose and giving us a lot of future advice and learning opportunities in every way.

I had made a lot of doctors appointments awhile back and are currently getting through them all slowly but surely. The most painful so far was the four hour wait in the waiting room for my primary care doctor. He sure is a popular one and the only one in the office. It was so irritating beyond belief. It was my only day off and I was spending the majority of the time waiting in a room. I am not an angry person by nature, but I was so frustrated I almost blew up at everyone in that office. Turns out the doctor was really behind and I understand that, but he also took about 45 minutes just with me and I wanted to get out of their as soon as possible. Ah well. I don't really want to go back because of that, but at least he was thorough and cared. That's good I guess. I do have to get an MRI on my knees and try to figure out what's "wrong" with them, but that's always been something that has been on my mind, no big surprise there. I just got a temporary crown from my dentist, which I am not excited about, but what can you do? It's better for the long run I guess. Everything else seems normal, which is great and promising.

Part of my working so much was a full week with an amazing family. I had a lot of fun with them, but it was rather exhausting with the long hours and never knowing when I would get home. It's funny how tours work out. They consume so much of your time and your life that you don't realize until it's over how much time you contributed to the tour and your life was completely on hold for that time being. It's good though cause it really makes you appreciate your time and life when you get done with it. It's like I hardly had time to do laundry or go to the grocery store so I was having to do that late late at night after work or early in the morning before work. I do love tours though and this family was great to hang around for that time. I was very fortunate to be able to bond with them so well.

I did get to see a few shows throughout my crazy week though. I was pretty tired, but needed the sanity of my crazy band life as well. I got to catch Randall's last song at the Luna Halo show at The Social, The Upward Trend at Central Station (a couple of nights), Kissing Karma and Dirty Shannon at our show, Matty Matt & an intoxicated and funny Randall at Friendly Confines 2 & The Upward Trend at Adobe Gilas. It was a nice break although I was exhausted wherever I went, I still tried to have a great time!

Colourslide was in town recently and rocked out Wall Street and it was great to see them again! Such nice guys...and just an amazing band. It's amazing how things happen for a reason. Obsession Day played The Social and came to hotel Carolyn afterwards to get some sleep. It was nice having them there. Like a piece of home (Atlanta) with their slightly southern accents and respectful personalities. I heart those boys. Gary, JB, Kevin and Samm were super great and quiet (which we all appreciated) and so nice. It was nice to have them stay. They took me out to breakfast at a very slow IHop, it rained, we shopped. Gary and I worked out for a bit and we all watched Muse preform on DVD. Cali came over and we made some Mexican dishes and headed out to our early show with Mikey, Gary and Berg. Obsession Day also had us help them out at their Wall Street show with merch, which was really fun for me. I adored those boys.

Headed for another nightly stop at IHop with Elo and enjoyed some really good food. I was so hungry from not eating for a few hours. I was so tired, but also wired at the same time. I couldn't stop talking. I'm sure it gets annoying, but it was nice company. Headed home and crashed to wake up for work this morning. It's a good day so far. So much to do and so little time, but it's nice to have a break tonight and not have anything to do specifically.

Ya know, I like to consider myself of having a pretty good sense of humor, but a few things lately that had intended on being "jokes" have bothered me more than I guess expected from the other parties. My heart is one thing that does not need to be messed with. I also don't prefer to be used. Those two things have been taking advantage of too much and enough is enough. I don't need to have issues regarding either in my life when it doesn't need to be. I'm too busy and too focused on what I need to accomplish to have to deal with those situations. Sometimes I just want to get away from those situations.

People have begun to disappoint me. I feel like I am living in a play, where people can change the script all the time, but most of the time they are playing a part. A part of themselves that they want others to see. I am even a part of this play and do the exact same thing. It bothers me on both sides. It's a weird thing, trust and honesty. I am not sure it really 100% exists. Sad, but true. I am on the outside looking into a lot of relationships and wondering if there is a true bond between them and wonder if they really do believe each other on all issues and things between them. It amazes me how our world works. It's full of people that decieve, some intentionally and others unintentionally. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with anyone. I feel like everyone has their moments and no none can really be 100% the person you want them to be.

posted by Carolyn Ohme at 11:59PM

Sunday August 6, 2006

Song: "Why are you quick to kiss?" By The Format
Mood: Confused
Time: 8:38pm
Weather: Okay

It's amazing how sometimes life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. Like you've been wanting something and hoping for something, but you get it in a different way than you expected and you aren't sure how to handle it. I've had a couple of those challenges lately. I've determined that no matter what I want, it all comes down to what is right and that's all I can do to make sure things are in order.

Wow, so many things have been happening since the last time I posted my thoughts..and so much I've learned. A lot of which has been CCMaD related because we've been so busy with shows lately. Cali, G, Tony and I took a break from our crazy business lives and had a night out for ourselves to enjoy The Format at House of Blues. One of my top shows of the year, I must say. Their second album just released "Dog Problems" is amazing! Every song is just as good as the last. It's one of my current favorites. The singer was much more positive and into the crowd participation than the shows I have seen before. It was a fun show with so much energy and dancing that I enjoyed every moment. A much needed break and quality time spent with my friends.

Next day, I went to visit my brother & family for my brother's birthday. Happy Birthday Richie! I love you! They were visiting for the week from Atlanta and although my schedule was crazy busy, I definitely tried to fit in as much time with them as possible. It's amazing how much my neice and nephew had grown. Craziness. So good to see them though. We went mini-golfing at Winter-Summerland for a bit before I had to head out to my show for the evening.

I went to support Randall Shreve, who was opening up for Plain Jane Automobile at The Social and picked up 867 for our date *grin*. It was a great night with great friends. Matt Mackelcan, Big 10-4 boys, Ciara, Shannon, Woody from Carousol, Paul, David, Chris Floyd, Mike Hunsucker, etc. We had a great time! Wes was my bartender for the evening and Carolyn was happy with lots of cherries. It was a nice break from my everyday schedule. Randall put on an amazing show as usual and had us all *dancing* on the dance floor.

Saturday, I tried to get all of my errands done quickly and figure out a time to meet up with Richie and fam, but it ended up I wasted an hour waiting on them to meet up with me at Epcot before I had to head out to Backbooth to meet up with Shannon and 867 for the Rock Bus with Wideawake and The Zac Brown Band. What a fun night. I was exhausted, but just having the Rock Bus there with the bands that brought back so many memories was amazing. 867 and I acquired our song, "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams. *grin*

Sunday I worked in the DSA office and headed out to meet up with Cali and Tony for some Downtown Disney shopping and Richie and fam were gonna head over to meet us later on. We only got to spend about an hour with them because it got to be so late when they arrived, but it was good to get to say goodbye at least. It was a strange visit and I'm not sure it was the most positive, but regardless, I love my family and I'm so glad I got to see them for a bit at least.

MaD Monday! came quickly and we hosted The Thena Jaski Project, Tenspoke Indies & Carousol. It was a great night of music and a good night with friends for the most part. Part of an everyday learning curve, I got a lot of information on PA Systems and trying to figure out the best situation for what we do. I think it's gonna get better. Thankfully I have good friends in the business.

Tuesday always comes quickly...and it's highly an anticipated day for many reasons. Worked my day at DU doing interviews, which was fun. I kinda enjoyed being on the panel side for once. Although I was hesitant at first and wasn't sure exactly what was expected, I learned along the way and did the best I could. I'm happy with the experience. Headed out to my meeting and was pleasantly surprised. Being back on track and doing well makes me happy. Got to hang out with Leslie for a bit and catch up. Always good to see old roomies and good friends.

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity, but in doing it"

Rushed home to get to Backbooth in time to see Gasoline Heart's CD Release party. Got to see some good friends, Matty Matt Matt, Chris Floyd, Ron Irizarry, Misty, etc. It was cool to hang out with them on a more personal basis each and everytime. Andy introduced me to their manager and they were both very nice. It's unfortunate that some of the things that have occurred in the past two days have affected my opinion of them, as a band, though. It's just too bad.

Wednesday was another full day of interviews and interesting topics. I enjoyed those two days at DU and got through them quickly. Headed out to finish my list of 'to-do' items in time to head to Studio Cafe for our CCMaD meeting. It was a personally satisfying meeting because I got to get a lot off my shoulders and things that were weighing on my heart. I felt 10 times better leaving that night, but it's good to be in business with friends sometimes because you have the ability to communicate openingly and have people that care more than just about the bottom line. It's a good thing as much as it can get you in trouble. You just have to know where to drawn the line and be professional about it. Either way, it was a successful.and efficient meeting and all things can be back on track from now on.

Thursday was my first tour day with a guitar specialist, we'll say and his family. The most adorable little girl, Kensi. Super laid back, easy going, fun family. Really good and short day at the MK. Five Star Iris was in town, breathing the same air. Cali, Tony, Mark and I went to Central Station Bar to surprise The Upward Trend boys and it worked. They have gotten so good over the past few months. Their stage presence is 100% more engaging and entertaining. I was highly impressed. It was good to spend some personal time with each of them as well. They are such good guys. We had a lot of fun that night.

Friday, I was back on tour with the previous day family and had a great time at DAK. A semi-short day and a rain storm later, I took a quick nap and prepared for the night's show. We were at Studio Cafe with Berg, Jeff Coffey and Randall Shreve. It went really well and we had a good crowd there. A lot of friends came out (Thank you!) along with some new folks, which was great to see. Jeff Coffey was amazing and blew me away. And he just happened to be a very nice guy on top of that. Randall, as usual, was incredible and has become more personal and entertaining in speaking on the mic. I'm glad he's getting to the "storyteller" side of it. Berg's support is never ending and he never ceases to amaze me in how community oriented and wonderful he is at our events. The venue get's more and more accomodating and things just seem to work out there. It's becoming my favorite place to be. Like a home.

Saturday, I slept in a bit before getting up to meet up with Five Star Iris at MK to play with them in the park. It was so good to see them again. They truly are some of my favorite band people...and yep, almost on time band people. *grin* I got to spend the day with Alan, Robby Rob, Alex, Dan and AB and it was actually really relaxing and wonderful. I was a little hestitant because usually I get stressed out and annoyed by the lines, etc on my days off, but it wasn't bad at all and the good company and conversations were all I needed to have a good time. It was a great day and I believe we were successful in restoring the magic...and finally breathing the same air, for real.

Went home, napped for a bit and then worked out just in time to rush in getting ready and myself down to Natura for the acoustic showcase with Pete Woj and friends. There was a lot more drama this night, good and bad, but all challenging and causing me to make some decisions on how to react. I was disappointed a lot by some actions of people throughout the night, but it's all in the way that I reacted to it that makes it a good situation or a bad one.

Dean from The Human Condition was amazing and brought a crowd from Bradenton. He was the nicest of guys and will always be invited back. There were a couple people, one that was on the bill and one that decided to play anyways, that will not be invited back. I'm purposely not mentioning their names on here because there is no reason for me to publically abuse their names on an open forum of my thoughts, but I will tell you that I have never in my experience with owning and operating CCMaD, Inc. have been so disrespected in my field. It was inappropriate, disrespectful and unprofessional on their part. I was very disappointed with their actions and their words. Seeing as though these situations had never happened to me before, it was a forced immediate decision of how to handle it. I know my true feelings showed, but I did try to mask them as much as I could and keep it as professional on my part as I could, when really I wanted to do so much more. I kept repeating to myself that karma will come back. And it did, quickly.

Pete Woj was great and entertaining...and respectful even in his condition. *grin* I'm glad that we do have friends like him that make it worth while and meaningful to do what we do and that people like him appreciates it. Dean also came up to us and told us nothing but positive things about what we were trying to accomplish and our efforts. That definitely reinforced how disrespectful and unprofessional the other two preformers were at the event. It's interesting how things work out.

After a semi-frustrating and semi-gratifying evening of acoustic music, Elo accompanied me to visit with some friends on Wall Street for the "after show" conversations and greetings. It was good to see 'the crew'. It was hard to have our show on the same night as Matty Matt's and Obsession Days, but we just have to figure out how to let the community know when people are having shows so we try not to double book. It worked out for the best though in the end. Got to see a lot of our friends and make some new connections. "I hooked that up!" *grin*

You know when it seems like you don't know who to blame in a situation so you end up blaming yourself? Not in a bad way, but in a guilty way. I think than rather admitting to myself that things might occur or admit that I do see some signs, I end up denying and not believing that they could be made real until they stare at you right in your face and become real enough to make you stop and think, "what am I doing or what have I done?" I don't want to be that person. It's hard though because you don't want things to change and you don't want people to be uncomfortable or unhappy. It's all in a difference of what's right in the world and what's right for you. And again the factor of trust is again brought up. It's a serious thing and when it's noticably broken, something's not right. I think I am stuck at the "why", but I don't think I am gonna know that. I don't think my analyzing is gonna solve anything, I am just trying to reason it in my head. It's a situation that I am dealing with on so many different levels, but the basics are that it's just too complicated. I have faith though that things will work themselves out. Just wondering how much time it's gonna take.