Song: "It's coming down to nothing more than apathy. I'd rather run the other way then stay and see the smoke and you still standing when it clears" By The Fray
Mood: Over my head
Time: 11:13pm
Weather: A bit cool

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
-Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

Last weekend, Cali and I woke up at the break of dawn to begin our trip to da ATL. It was a short 6 1/2 drive to the city with no complaints whatsoever. Got there and that's when all the craziness and drama began. My family was going through a lot at the time...and still is so it was a strange time to visit. Got some updated news that I had wished I had gotten earlier and had to deal with that head on. Made me really nervous...but really thankful. My mom just had knee replacement surgery and apparently her heart stopped again while in recovery. This is the second time that this has occurred. Thank God, she is doing okay now and has advice to not get the second knee replaced as it was planned. Just not worth the chance. I agree.

Tried to step out of the family drama for a bit, but did get to visit with my crazy and wonderful neice and nephews. So glad I could spend some time with all of them equally. It was amazing to see how much they had grown in such a short period of time. I hate being *that* Aunt that is always away from home. I never wanted it that way, but just the way life turns out I guess.

Got to spend some time with B and her friends. More crazy drama with that, but it was St. Patty's Day so I will blame it on the darn tricky Leprecan's. It was an interesting night to say the least...and a very loud one, but it came time for decision making and I'm fully confident that the decision we made was a good one. I was glad to see B so happy though!

Cali and I killed some time on Saturday at Lenox mall and ran into Chili from TLC, heard Whitney Houston was in the mall as well, then headed over to Phipps Plaza to see a movie. "Failure to Launch" was a perfect non-thinking chick flick and really a cute movie of choice! Headed over to meet up with Mindy and Jill, who drove down from NC to meet up with us to see 5SI that night. Got to the hotel and caught up with them and Bella. They are so awesome!

Headed over to Smith's Olde Bar and grabbed some food. We surprised the 5SI boys and got to spend some time with them and the gang before the show. I heart those boys! Brought back good Rock Boat memories. Watched the show and enjoyed spending time with my friends. Jessica & Tonya came to meet up with me. Had talked to Rashon earlier in the day and he said he was bringing "the crew" but he failed to mention BERG! Berg totally surprised me and it was so good to see him. Felt like forever since I had seen him last. Got to meet Dave Pittenger finally after hearing so much about him. Rashon and Lisa plus friends came out too. I was so happy, felt like home again, but a mixture of so many places. Great times!

After a crazy weekend, we drove a short drive home with hardly any traffic, but exhausted. Got to Orlando and headed straight to Bennigans to meet up with Tony and see Kevin.

Everything's been really crazy busy at work lately it seems like. Plus, CCMaD things are going really well and everything's coming at us fast, but we are handling it pretty well I think. Lots of things are being thrown at us and all we can do is catch it as best we can. Things are always so positive though so I have nothing to complain about.

Last night, Shannon and I went to see The Murphy Project at Devaney's and we ran into Dan and Matt from Big 10-4, Kelly, Vic from Dirty Shannon, Pete Woj and drummer Jeff from The Accused, of course Charlie Murphy and Brock *grin*, met the boys of D-side who were very kiss-y all night *ha*, met the boys of "Girls, Girls, Girls" who cracked me up in many ways all night and more. It was a fun-filled night to say the least. We had a great time with great friends! I heart all those kids!

I've been focusing on "catching up" constantly and trying to learn from everything that I do. It's constantly a learning curve in everything that I'm doing right now. It seems that I am always trying to catch up and it's frustrating, but at the same time, it keeps me on my toes, which I think I really need right now...just to keep going foward and keep trying. It's a good thing.

Went broke today buying my Train and Need to Breathe ticket, Big 10-4 ticket and getting my hair cut, but those, of course, are all necessities. *grin* Cannot wait for Switchfoot this week. I have something every single day this week. I might just fall over from lack of rest, but it's part of my life and schedule. What can you do?

Song: "I'm not smiling behind this fake veneer" By Motion City Soundtrack
Mood: "Get over it"-OK GO
Time: 9:26pm
Weather: Comfy

Saturday afternoon Cali & Tony, Cindy, Shannon and I went to the Orlando Harley Davidson to see a free Cheap Trick show. It's amazing when you can feel at home at *any* show, even with the biker crowd. Leather chaps, bandanas, boots, huge belt buckles pretty much described the costumes of this event. The crowd really wasn't too familiar with the band. When they played "I want you to want me" I felt like we were the only ones that knew the song and were excited they were playing it. Who knew that they played the theme song to That 70s Show. So much fun. Cindy's favorite part for sure.

Sunday, I fought getting through the day. Finally got off and rushed over to HOB to meet up with Julie and 867 to find tickets for Motion City Soundtrack. They had two by the time I got there and shortly after 867 rocked and found me a ticket! YAY! We had rock star "seats" and had the perfect side view of the stage. Spill Canvas was good. The singer sweated profusely and it made me smile. He's adorable. Plain White T's were really impressive, but I was a little put back by one of them when we met them after the show. OK GO cracked me up. Their set was good, but their music is definitely an aquired taste, but I enjoyed their stage show and energy. The best part of the night (this was the last tour date with the three opening acts supporting MCS) was OK GO preforming their video for us on stage. It was hilarious. They did the best dance sequence live for us. I was laughing so hard it was hard to breathe. Hilarious!

CK, of course was in attendence, saw Fritz as well. Funny, he doesn't make me throw up anymore in a good way. Oddly enough...

Motion City Soundtrack came on and rocked out! I heart them! They make me happy! So happy to have gotten into that show. Julie and 867 rock. I was so sad when I found out that it was sold out and they eased my fears. *grin* I got my pic with the frailer...whom I adore...and got to meet some of the boys of the tour. Good times!

This week is full of work activities....and then a show on Thursday. Cali and I are driving up to da ATL this weekend to visit with my family and see some friends and go to a show...call me if you are up there and want to hang!

Song: "I want to state for the record I didn't mean to ruin her, I didn't mean to wreck her, I had to be the song she couldn't shake from her head" By Big 10-4
Mood: Reflective
Time: 8:42pm
Weather: Still Chilled

"Oh my God, this hurts like hell"-Jacks Mannequin

My mind brought it up again. It's amazing how people keep saying "I'm moving on" and even I have said it many times before for several different situations that have occurred in my past, but I'm learning now that no matter how moved on you think you are, the past is still there. What happened in the past still happened and you can't forget. I've tried to forget. I've tried to erase everything from my mind, but it's still there. My mind brought it up again. It makes me sick. Sick to my stomach, to my mind, to my throat. I wish it was something I could have removed. It's like a reoccuring nightmare that randomly slips into my mind.

No regrets. I have none. I have learned something from every decision that I have made in my life, but also in saying that, I wish past things could just stop running through my head. I've learned, stop reminding me. Sometimes you just feel so broken. This is one of those moments. I wish I could just sleep it off.

"I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better"-Lindsay Lohan

There's a lot of stuff going on right now. Some of it has me re-thinking a lot of the things I've believed in all my life. Now, suddenly, those beliefs are beginning to be re-evaluated. All of them deal with emotions, trust and feelings. Things that no one can explain. Things you can't depend on.

I'm unmotivated to do anything right now, but tomorrow is a new day and I'm sure a better one.

Song: "Maybe it's just me" By Butch Walker
Mood: Sleepy, but productive and content
Time: 11:54pm
Weather: A bit chilled

"Maybe it's just me, but you look finally happy" -Butch Walker

What a whirlwind of events....typical of my life, I suppose, but it never seems to slow down. All have been amazingly good times though with good friends, great bands and sleepless nights. Always a good time!

Been seeing Quick Shot Paulo a lot lately. They are too much fun. I heart Chris and Vince...they are good people. Wednesday night was PI with them and it was so much fun with the girls. Then again last night (Tuesday) and it was great to have CMac AND Lon in the house along with Clinta...always feels like home. Good peeps! Monday night it was QSP ("Q! S! P!") *grin* at Blue Martini. Ran into Fritz and the Antiqua guy there. Funny times per usual. I love my girls!

Worked ESPN weekend and it was crazy as ever. My tour only participated for a short time, but I did get to "play" in the parks with him and his family for quite awhile so it was fun either way. It was pretty exhausting and it was a big group, but good fun. Very nice and down to earth group. I appreciated that! Didn't expect anything less from an Atlanta group! *grin*

T-boz was there with her family and it was really cool to see her at the event. I love her! She was nothing but so nice and friendly, plus her kids were adorable! Such a nice surprise! I thought it would be only sports stars, but seeing as though she's married to one, it fits and it turned into slightly a music event for me. Good times!

I'm so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. That's about all I can catch up with now, but things are good and keep getting better and better. It's a good life. I can't complain.

Song: "I'm finding myself back in the lost and found" By Widewake
Mood: One of those moments
Time: 1:12am
Weather: Comfy

"You say the grass is greener on the other side
Time is like a healer, don't let it pass me by
Love is an addiction, everybody knows
Pain is like a prison, everybody goes
but the lights are fading now
and this world has let me down
so I'm finding myself back in the lost and found

I struggle to make progress
it's a neverending fight
I'm kicking out the darkness
until it bleeds daylight
Got questions for the answers
and dust to fill the sky
An ocean full of failures
these things I can't deny
oh but the lights are fading now
and this world has let me down
so I'm finding myself back at the lost and found

oh, but the lights are fading now
and this cold world has let me down
and I'm finding myself back in the lost and found
in the lost and found

They say the grass is greener on the other side
Time is like a healer, gonna let it pass me by
Love is an addiction, everybody knows
Pain is like a prison, everybody goes, everybody goes
-Wideawake "Greener"