Song:"She will change everything for happy ever after, caught in the in-between, a beautiful diasaster" By Jon McLaughlin
Mood: Blessed
Time: 3:01pm
Weather: Rainy out, perfect day off!

The following has been written on and off since the end of May right after FMF
So my heart just stopped. I just got a call from a number I haven't seen before and I answered it out of fear. I got word last night that one of my very good friends was life flighted to the hospital suffering from a brain anuersym with bleeding. I have been awaiting steady updates throughout the night and all today. All I know so far is that he's in the ICU on a ventilator in critical condition. I was all at once hoping that it was a call from his sister or mother telling me how he is doing and hopefully something along the lines that he is alright and also fearing that they would be calling to tell me something differently. Either way, the phone call was a wrong number. Wanting someone named Donna. I put the phone down thankful that it wasn't bad information at least. I'm not sure how to react at the moment. I am just kinda in a silent mode.

When situations arise like this you start to think about life and how precious it really is. For some reason, the thought just comes across stronger when these situations happen to people that are closer to you. It's sad that we don't understand this thought continously since horrible things happen ever day to people, but only when it happens to you or near you do you actually feel it.

This was intended to be a more happy blog had I written it when I was suppose to yesterday before I heard the shocking news. It has been awhile since I've written (shocker) and some amazing things have occurred in the past week. So much that it's hard to recall all of the little things that make up the big picture, but I will do my best to remember.

I'm back to myself. By that, I mean that I am able to wear my contacts again (thank you Dr. Lincoln), I've dyed my hair back to my "emo brunette" which I adore, I'm back into usual habits of running at least 2 miles daily and eating a bit healthier (with the exception of this past weekend *grin*) and I'm a lot happier these days, which is nice. "I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving, I believe.....I will live up to what I am singing now" Kill The Alarm

We had a great acoustic night with Snafu at The Studio Cafe last week. They are such great guys and were very entertaining. It was good to have friends out like always. Ryan, Kat & Nate all came to hang out which was a good time. I am enjoying our small break from booking every single weekend. It gives us some time to promote more and get some more Guests out. Our next show is gonna be amazing as well! Friday, June 1st with Mark Gaignard (formally lead of Big Sky), Berg, Christian & James from The Lighter Exchange (who blew everyone away at FMF btw!). I cannot possibly wait.

I had an amazing tour from Chicago. They were super easy-going, humorous and a joy to be around! Good times at the MK that day. Going into the week with a good tour was very relaxing and helpful because it was such a crazy week. Florida Music Festival week is basically what it was made up of. My mind, my body, my soul, my heart was all focused on the weekend ahead with FMF. I had volunteered with Shannon to help out at the Festival and get some experience (as well as a free weekend wristband to all the events, panels and shows). It was the best experience ever!

Starting on Monday after my DU shift, I met up with Shannon and we stuffed the swag bags for about three hours before heading home and crashing of exhaustion. Tuesday after my DU shift, I went up to meet with them again, but they needed to wait on more items before we con't the job so instead I walked around Lake Eola before my CCMaD/Studio Cafe meeting downtown. Shortly after the meeting, the Chachos Crew with Tony headed to Blue Martini to support Fish in the Tom Sartori band, like usual. I "celebrated" a bit too hard and definitely paid for it the next morning. I definitely made a few un-called-for telephone calls, but didn't do any damage, thankfully. Heart you Randall! "It's not tomorrow yet Carolyn" *grin* Was hurting pretty bad the following morning, but chalked it up to the fact that I needed to "prepare" for the weekend's activities.

That brings me to Wednesday where I head into the DSA office far too early, sunglasses on for the better part of the morning and making several trips to the restroom. Good times. I repeated to myself several times to remember that feeling and never drink that much again. Ha! Had a productive day at DSA and then headed straight to FMF for more swag stuffing. By the time I got there, they were almost done with the bags, but it was worth it to attend even for the short period of time.

Right after the swag bags were completed, I headed to meet up with 867, Julie & Nikki for food at Tijiuna Flats (where I seemed to visit quite a few times this past weekend). Good times with friends again. Made me happy! Then, we headed to The Social to track down our Orlando Rockstar. Randall Shreve was finally in town again and beginning the trip with an amazing show at The Social on Wednesday night with the band OURS. It was so good to see my bro again. He was wearing all white and claimed to have beat down a BeeGee for the costume. Too adorable. His set was notably a tad on the depressing side, but we heart him anyways. He rocked out and we supported him in the front row like always. It was so good to see him again. I pretty much hung onto him and wouldn't let go.

So, after the show the party is never over, right? We stole Randall away and all went to McRaney's to hang out and catch up. We saw Wes and just listened to music, danced and chatted with all our friends. It was a great ending to the night. I was not ready to say goodbye to Randall just yet so we left it at "see you tomorrow we will work it out" and we did.

Thursday was a crazy day as well. I worked and then headed straight to downtown to begin working registration and it was a blast! Got to check in tons of rockstars including the likes of Colourslide, etc. It was great times. I was working with awesome people from Full Sail and meeting some amazing people, my type of people. I was at home. They let me leave a bit early to make Travis James' set at Tanquerays. It was awesome. It was my first FMF experience of the weekend and it went off with a bang. I walked in and immediately Travis recognized me and greeted me. Seeing as though I hadn't met him officially in person yet, it was great to be known (even if by the ways of only myspace photos and chats). He rocked it and had a pretty nice crowd to start off. I got a shout out and got to speak with him briefly before running to the next show. That's life at FMF and I adore it!

FMF went by way too fast for me. I saw a lot of amazing bands and had the most amazing of experiences. I loved every moment of working the event and the most amazing part was running into all of our friends and at every moment meeting new people. It was the best time ever! Some of my favorite preformances included the following: In Passing, Words Now Heard, Between The Trees, Travis James, Randall Shreve (@ McRaneys), The Lighter Exchange, Dirty Shannon, Five Star Iris, Big 10-4, Calling All-Stars, Gary Pfaff, Ron Irizarry, Colourslide & Ariya. I, unfortunately, did miss a lot of bands that I wanted to see due to the craziness of FMF including John Frank, Pete Woj & The Accused, Cure for Caska, Spacebar, Mirror Pal, Oval Opus, The Wynn Brothers, etc. But you can only see so many bands in one weekend and it was pretty crazy, but I had such an amazing time regardless and support *all* the bands that played that festival.

Basically, FMF was our holiday and Christmas. Good friends, good bands, good times altogether! When Gary Pfaff got in town, things got even more interesting and I felt like I was laughing the entire time. I miss the Sheraton. I miss living downtown for an entire weekend. I miss walking to each venue and seeing friends. I miss music 24/7 and seeing band boys walk around everywhere. I miss our holiday. Merry FMF! I cannot wait for next year!

Right after FMF, the fun didn't stop though. In Passing was playing a benefit show at The Social the Monday after, so we con't our good times through. It was a great show. Troy put his drums on fire officially and it was very entertaining! He's so great! *grin* Then, Between The Trees con't to change my life with a Wednesday show at The Social. I am so happy that they had big shows after FMF, so that I could come down from my high slowly and not be completely shut off from live shows for a bit. They were smart to do that! Plus, I got to see Ryan Morris and friends more than five times that week. They are amazing people! Always a good time!

I went back to work hardcore after the festival and had some tours. Got back into the swing of things and relaxed a little after work to try and catch up on things since FMF. Things haven't really slowed down too much, however, which is probably a good thing. Carolyn doesn't like it when things slow down too much. I need the rush.

Last Friday, June 1st, we had an amazing CCMaD Event at The Studio Cafe. Possibly the best one we have ever had, crowd wise. We hosted Mark (formally of Big Sky), Berg and Christian w/ the hilarious James of The Lighter Exchange. They were all amazing. Along with CCMaD's crowd, the artists brought out a huge following and it was great to see some old friends. Ashton Allen showed up, which was a great surprise, along with Ellen & friends, Ryan Morris, Kim & Nikki, etc. It was a great time with good company and amazing music!

That next Sunday, we went to see Matty Matt Matt & CFloyd play at the Jon McLaughlin show at The Social, which was amazing! I got to see a lot of friends there as well. I love Orlando. I love The Social. I love everything about the music scene here. Big 10-4 boys showed up, Ryan Morris & crowd as well. Things went great! I was surprised to see Scott (formally lead singer of the I-4 Band) and shared with him how their show was the first I had seen in Orlando at The Social and how that changed my life. I was glad that he took it well and I didn't freak him out completely. Good times!

Since I last added to this extremely long-winded blog, my friend Nick is doing much better! I am so pleased with his progress and everyday it seems to be more positive, which THANK GOD for that! I cannot wait to see him again. I hope he comes home soon!

I feel like a better person. I feel like I'm growing and changing, almost everyday. I make mistakes, but as long as I can be honest and truthful in my life, things always seem to look up. I learned a long time ago that if I make a mistake, I need to apologize. I need to let things go. I am still working on acting that out, but it's getting better.