I just had the Most Amazing Thing EVER (Week of 12/11/05)
So I got this deal with a guy at Postboxes and Stuff. I do a little work around the back room and he gives me a mailbox. So I get my government disability check. HOT DAMN. So I head over to Lefty�s and settle my tab. To celebrate Left offers me this drink he called a Jag Bomb. Now being a military man I am all in favor of a �bomb� drink. But then he tells me that this drink combines booze and a health tonic! Now let me get this straight, I can have booze�.and get healthy. Crap on a Cay that is why this is the greatest country on Earth. Lefty make mine a double! There is a Giant ape in Times Square!(Week of 12/4/05)
I pop out of the subway station and I swear to god I saw I giant ape in Times Square. I know you are thinking I have been hitting the hooch hard. Man, I am freaking serious its there larger than life and ready to take our white women. Take him down boys lets get that big ape. We cannot let him throw his crap on our fare city! Why the hell won�t anyone listen to me? Aww come on not the cops I mean I am just trying to save the city from terrorists� TERRORISTS� man!
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Blog? What the hell�s a blog? Sounds like something Ol Toothless Pete would so after too many bottle leavings outside the 25th Street Carphole. Who are you and why are you wring down what I am saying. I�ll cut you. I have a speaker�s fee you know. You need to talk to my publicist, Toeless Tommy. My usual fee is a few dollars for a cup of coffee �wink� and the Warm feeling �wink� I get in my liver �wink� from sharing my touching story �wink�. Well whatever! Read my happy fun-time stories if you want. But it cost you a nickel every time. I�ll know if you owe me with my special hobo powers. OOOHHWEEEEEOOOO.
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