Ol' Rambling Drunk Guy in April '05

I Have My eye on Someone Down at the Bus stop (Week of 4/24/2005)

I know what you�re saying: �Drunk Guy quit pissing on my Lilacs�.. No wait that�s the pizza shop guy. Right you�d be saying oh no not again, haven�t you learned the lessons of Mildred. But I tell you this Birch down at the bus stop is different. She shares her feelings she isnt all closed up like Mildred. That Birch is the caring kind soul that Mildred never was, just look at her over there with that guy with the chainsaw�CHAINSAW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Why am I destined to be alone.

Go Drink Mickey�s and Howl at the Moon (Week of 4/17/2005)

So that crank of a wetback Irishman Lefty O�Toole finally let me back in that hole in the wall he generously calls a dive. Thanks to a bank error in my favor, i.e. some idiot left his care in the ATM machine. I paid up my bar tab and I even paid it forward. Of course my new name is Chayim Lutz, but it�s a small price to pay. While I am on the subject of forgeries what the hell is the point of N/A beer. News flash it ain�t the taste that keeps me coming back rabbi

I Pooped a Hammer.. and Corn� But I Didn�t Have any Corn�(Week of 4/10/2005)

Okay I have eaten some stupid stupid things in my day. Sometimes out of spite, sometimes I would do it for money. Sometimes I would do it just because I thought it would bring me some small modicum of joy in my empty unending existence. But why In god�s name would I eat a ball peen hammer. I can�t even remember. But I think I know what you broads go through when you go through that baby crap. That claw is doing murder to my innards.

I Saw A Robin, So I Swooped down and Caught it (Week of 4/3/2005)

I haven�t felt so alive since I was back on that nutmeg pile known as Grenada. I laid down a clever trap. It took all of my cunning and a paperclip shiv and a shoelace� but I caught me a robin. A sweet tasty fat robin. I hightailed it down to bumtown and I nearly had to fend off a mob but I got it to Tommy who had a fire going and we cooked it right up. Shame it didn�t have any eggs we coulda used some sawdust from the mill and had us robin tenders. MMM MMM MMM.


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