Ol' Rambling Drunk Guy in July '04

What's a Carb (Week of 6/27/2004)

So I'm walking down H street and I see this sign that says Low Carb. What the hell's a carb? I know I aint the most intune guy in the world but the only carbs I know about are the ones in my old sweet sally. My old car I lost in a Texas Hold em game in Fort Hood. She wasnt low carb I'll tell you what. She was a tasty tasty treat my friends. sigh, well back to holding up my Jiggle O's ad board.

I WON I WON !Week of 6/20/2004)

Friends I got me a golden ticket, I found me the Magical Mickey�s cap that has the formula to turn lead into gold. All those years of hard drinking, enduring night after night of post traumatic stress syndrome. Not any more I am going to live the high life in a penthouse suite, with blackjack and hookers and wait a minute. Where am I going to get gobs of lead to turn into gobs of gold. CRAP ON A CAY. Back to the recycling business..

Who Can make the Dew Drop, the Kidney Man Can (Week of 6/14/2004)

Summer is in full swing, so the plasma plants are full of disenfranchised fellows like myself. It is now that many of you bums head down the back alley on R Street and visit the Kidney man. Wile it may swell you with pride to know you are helping some poor kid and get gobs of booze money at the same time, think about what you are doing�You know I have to kidneys� KIDNEYMAN wait for me!

Health Code my Left Liver! (Week of 6/7/2004)

Ah Monday and the return of dollar shooters at Magoo�s. While I trend towards Detroit�s finest malt liquors, when presented with an economic opportunity of the order, how can an upstanding young hobo like myself resist? However when I get there what to my despairing eyes should appear but a sign saying closed for health code violations. Some mamby pamby bureaucrat is standing between my old lady booze and me. It�s bar people piss in the sink for god�s sake. Well not in my town mister, I marched to the bodega and picked up a 40, who are you?.


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