Ol' Rambling Drunk Guy in February '05

That Penguin is ALIVE I tell you� and it wants to Kill me (Week of 2/27/2005)

Quick behind the corner�Mister I just saved your life� don�t you see it over there in the liquor store. That Penguin�s alive. He wants to take your soul, bring you back you�re his Ice palace and have is way with you, and not in the happy candle light dinner way, no the BUTT way. Hey no wait Mister don�t go it�s not safe. RUN RUN you magnificent bastard run. There goes the bravest man I have met since, hey look a quarter.

Time to Round up the Boys and Girls and head down to the Bumfighting Leagues (Week of 2/20/2005

Come one come all place your bets for the greatest show on Earth. Round midnight the ramshackle gloves come off and we have Skid Row league bumfighting. Tonight on the undercard its Toothless Joe vs. Magic Mike and his three limb death cycle. Our main even will be Knuckles McGee Vs the Preacher. It�s a one night only extravaganza. Two men enter one man leave. Place your bets, unless you are a cop then go F*** yourself Porkie.

Its Valentine�s Day and I Miss my Mildred (Week of 2/13/2005)

Well I thought I could get over it but here I am. Candy hearts and a bottle of cinnamon schnapps. Time heals all wounds they say, of course that doesn�t apply to shrapnel. Just ask old Rattley Frank. One time after Tommy lost a game of craps to Frank I swiped some tic tacs from the bodega and would follow him around. Ha, good times, good times. Ha shame about what Frank did to Tommy though, yeah a real shame.

If I Said You Had Nice Tits Would you Hold them Against Me (Week of 2/6/2005)

Holy Cripes Bejesus and Begora I have just seen the largest things I think I have ever seen in my life. Seriously I think the Hindenburg and Goodyear blip just floated down to eye level. I mean did a midget rip off a couple of watermelons from the bodega? Or did the Harlem globetrotters do a couple trick shots with a couple of basketballs. I�m just kidding you�re an alright transvestite Lou. A real pick of the liter.

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