Ol' Rambling Drunk Guy in October'05

Those Goddamed Goblins are out again Week of 10/30/05)

Yeah it�s cold as hell and there are a bunch of spooks dressed like Spider man and gay pirates. Well call me a candy miser but does anyone else think it f**king hypocritical that you will give a bucket load of candy to 10 year old dressed as a fairy princess but you wont give a quarter to a man dresses as Charlie Chaplin who smells like day old urine. Have you seen today�s kids, you have all been duped by the alien brainwaves to raise fat little plumpers. The time is coming when they will come to collect their little piglet for alien thanksgiving. They ain�t going to take the guy with feces smeared on his pants. They are going to take porky. Chew on that Soccer mom.

A Girl in the Clubhouse.(Week of 10/23/05)

So there we are down at the shelter, We guys of the 23rd Street have our own corner right near the window. Well we always leave an empty seat out of respect for our fallen comrades. Well all of the sudden this chicky poo comes and sits down and starts mowing down her lunch. Now we are all just sitting there staring at her when all of the sudden she lets out this monstrous fart that smelled like a corpse filled with cheese wrapped in garbage. We all just busted out laughing. That�s the story of how the 23rd street Militia became co-ed.

The Revolution Will be Written about in the Free City Papers (Week of 10/16/05)

Okay it got weird. I was ranting last week about a homeless revolution� and these guys from the Hamster come sniffing around trying to write an article on how the Panhandling ban would affect the homeless. Now if you read my little bedtime stories you know I ain�t the best foot forward for our community. So we voted and Penniless Pete, the ex dot comer, was elected to speak his tale of woe to these cute little muckrakers. Yeah I know it won�t do any damn good but hell at least we got a picture taken, where there wasn�t height marks in the background.

There is a new Sheriff in town, Mother F**K! (Week of 10/9/05)

Corrupt good for nothing lazy city counsel has a plan to vote on a new ordinance that will ban panhandling. Not just those lazy shits with the cardboard signs. But hardworking folks like me who exchange goods for services. I don�t blame the counsel; they are dupes of the alien brain control waves. No the nefarious mastermind is that Mayor. He knows he is going to lose that election in November so naturally its get tough on Bums time. Well you won�t have this rambling drunk guy to kick around any more. Its time we engage in operation �Creep Out the Civilized Kind. Yeah we are just going to sit there and stare at people going into down town, without asking for money. Yeah take that Mayor. How do you like our COCK in your face.

The Turning Leaves Remind me of Mildred (Week of 10/2/05)

I know what you are thinking, I am an old soft wood for letting that birch bring me down. Bit I can�t help it. Seeing all these trees drop their leaves reminds me of that seductive autumn dance that Mildred and I used to dance. Those were the days my friend. I thought they would never end. Yet here I am my face in my hands and I am alone. Well except for you ham sandwich, you would never leave me. Even when you are old and moldy and I have save your soul by devouring you. Then we will be together forever. At least until I duck in the alley behind the Donut Whole.


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