Ol' Rambling Drunk Guy in July'05

Lefty O�Toole I thought I recognized your Stench When I Colapsed Through your Door. (Week of 7/31/05)

Well if I wasn�t carrying around shrapnel and if I didn�t have more mental problems than Michael Jackson�s kids, I would be a productive member of society with a steady nine to five gig I have a wife with nice big plastic titties and I�d be drinking California wines. Instead I shuffle around form 9-5, I make out with big plastic trees, and I drink mad dog. But these able bodied young punks hanging out in the park bumming change off my regulars. I don�t give a rats ass how your daddy wouldn�t let you drive the beamer get off my lawn you damn punk kids. Inebriated .

You Know what I Hate Lazy ass Skate Punks (Week of 7/24/05)

Well if I wasn�t carrying around shrapnel and if I didn�t have more mental problems than Michael Jackson�s kids, I would be a productive member of society with a steady nine to five gig I have a wife with nice big plastic titties and I�d be drinking California wines. Instead I shuffle around form 9-5, I make out with big plastic trees, and I drink mad dog. But these able bodied young punks hanging out in the park bumming change off my regulars. I don�t give a rats ass how your daddy wouldn�t let you drive the beamer get off my lawn you damn punk kids. Inebriated .

Oh Where oh Where Have my old Socks Gone (Week of 7/17/05)

Stinky? Holey? NOOOOO Some pilfering no good mental reject has stolen my lucky socks and replaced them with some cheap imported models. I bet it was those dogooders from Dope Style for the Destitute. Like I know what the hell FUBU or Rocawear are. Give me back my socks you bastards. Those socks saved my life back in Grenada and without them I am at the mercy of the Jingly Cup Gang. Damn it all to hell. Well at least I still have old lady booze but by god they�ll try to take that next.

40 Ounces to Freedom (Week of 7/10/2005)

We are in a tight spot boys, a tight spot. I don�t want any recriminations about who should have blocked open the door to the mission closet, that�s all in the past. So lets think how can we get out of this. Damnit! No it�s a weekend we can pound away and no one will hear us, the trust fund do gooders are out drinking our sweet precious beer. Oh its not fair. Wait Tommy you always keep that spare Mickey�s in your jumper right? We�ll drink our way out that�s how we�ll escape the clutches of the evil closet monster. Shut up it will work, pass the good stuff.

Ahh Good Old Independence Day (Week of 7/3/2005)

Say what you will my friend, maybe its old glory flapping in the breeze or maybe its just the summer heat, but there is something magical about celebrating our founding fathers giving and old fashioned middle finger to Johnny English. It�s a testament to our American right to get liqoured up and go shoot things or blow shit up. Thank god our forefathers had the great wisdom and vision to allow us to blow shit up on this great holiday. We are truly in your debt. Of course I can only use sparklers per a court order, but hell they still light shit on fire, what�s better than blowing shit up� lighting shit on fire YEAH!.


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