Power. Seemed sooo far away. Were more than meets the eye. 16. you remember what michael Fell 17. you have worn a banana clip, or 18. you owned a doll with "xavier Knew 19. you knew what willis was 20. you had to have your mtv. Heart for "back to the 22. you know where to go if you Your 23. you thought molly ringwald was 24. you actually thought "dirty 25. you have heard of the "garbage 26. punks actually "shocked" people. Was humbly called "prince". The macdaddy he played "sam" to 29. you remember when atari was a 30. you own any cassettes or 31. you were led to believe that in the Living on 32. you remember and /or owned any Collections from Glass they came out with. (i Burger king star wars glasses! ) 34. you carried your lunch to school Lunchbox. Smurfette was the only female 36. you wore biker shorts underneath Stylish, or 37. you ever had a swatch watch, or 38. you had a crush on one of the 39. you had a crush on bo derek or 40. you remember when saturday 41. you had a wonderwoman or 42. you know what a "whammee" is. Know someone who did. Would attract your own alien. 46. you have ever called 867-5309. Cameron, or michael j. fox Wall. Pacman. 50. you owned a t-shirt that said, "i Who did. 52. your dream car was either: the a- General lee. Jonathan hart was. The beef" lady died. 56. two words "sweater dresses". Phones weighed 15 lbs.and had to be Over our shoulder. This list then you, my Send this to any one that would Future". to a time when movie stars The project Major technological Drawing board. Research----it was discovered by Project slightly behind original Difficulties----we are working on The designs are well within allowable Stretching Customer satisfaction is believed Schedule Anything at all from us. Have asked someone else, or let's The design will be finalized in the next Started this job jet, but we've got to A number of different approaches are We're Test results were extremely gratifying--- Suprised!!! Fresh approach to the = Just hired three new guys; we'll let Preliminary operational tests are When The entire concept will have to be Understood the thing just quit. Certain minor difficulties---we Starting from scratch. --------- end forwarded message ---------- Subject: promises fulfilled - She had him cremated and brought Home. picking up the urn that he was Counter. Tracing her fingers in the She said, �you know that fur coat Answered by saying, �i bought it Then You promised me?� she answered Saying, �well, i bought it with the Tracing her Remember that blow job i Here it comes...� > > >>never fool around with little > > >> > ___ > > >> > /' '\ > > >> > \_/o o\_/ > > >> > ' \ /' > > >> > / /_ _\ \ > > >> > \/===\/ > > >> > || || > > >> > |_____| > > >> > / y \ A little old lady went to the grocery Cat food in her basket. she then She The best for my little kitten." the Sorry, but we cannot sell you cat Cat. a lot of old people buy cat food Proof that you are buying the cat Your cat." Up her cat and brought it back > > >one cat > > >> > | o o | > > >> > .^`-^-'^. > > >> > | | | | | > > >> > > > The store and bought 12 of the For each day of christmas. the This time demanded proof that she People sometimes eat dog food. Back and One doggie > > >> > __----_ > > >> > /###| | > > >> > |####| > > >> > |####| > > >> > \####/ > > >> > \### / > > >> > / \ > > >> > \___/ | > > >> > _| |_ > > >> > > > >> With a hole in the lid. the Stick her finger in the hole. Have a snake in there." 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"well, how did he look?" At this point the psychiatrist felt that And he said, "well that's very Further. now tell me, you say that Face once during sex; that seems That "he was looking through the window Subject: public restroom - guy with Bob goes into the public restroom The Bob�s standing there, taking care of The poor wretch is going to To leave when the man asks bob to Says, �ah, ok, sure, i�ll help The man asks, �can you unzip my Then the man says, �can you pull it Ok.� Mold and red bumps, with hair And reeks something awful. then Guy asks bob to point it for him, and It, puts it back in and zips it up. Really appreciate it.� bob says, �no With your penis?� And says, �i don�t know, but i Subject: public statement by rev > due to the great consternation Of To give an explanation to the Copulation. i gave in to Sexual gratification, that i could Resulted in my fornication. > i accepted her invitation, and > stimulation, penetration, Provided And i wore condoms to Duplication but i insisted upon Fascination with variation. > this has caused me great Provocation Humiliation, denigration, and Considering castration, Hospitalization. > pray that this matter will find > rehabilitation so that my plans for > will not result in revocation and > Provided illumination and verification > will prohibit further provocation. > Steven thode Pulitzer pups Smart their dogs were. the first man Accountant, the third man a Government worker. His dog, �t-square, do your stuff!� t- Took out some paper and a pen and And a triangle. everyone agreed Then the accountant said his dog And said, �spreadsheet, show them Went out into the kitchen, and Divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 That Yet the chemist said his dog could do Said, �measure, do your thing!� Fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a And poured exactly 8 ounces without And ahhhed and was quite Then the three men turned to the Can your dog do?� the government Said, �coffee break, do your stuff!!� All the cookies, drank the milk, Assaulted the other three dogs, Doing so, filed a grievance report for Worker�s compensation, and went Leave!!!! A six-year-old comes crying to his His hair. "your little sister doesn't realize that a short while later, there's more Investigate. Her brother says, "now she knows." Subject: punctuation Words, "woman without her man is Directed the students to punctuate it The men wrote: "woman, without her The women wrote: "woman! without Subject: punk rocker in for surgery Emergency room, when a young Hair styled into a punk rocker And Was quickly determined the patient Scheduled for immediate surgery. On the operating table, the staff That her pubic hair had been dyed Tattoo Once the surgery was completed, the Patient's dressing, which said, "sorry, Subject: punk rocker The mall when a young man with Beside him. the boy's hair was yellow, Make-up around his eye's. the Said, "what's the matter old man, Your life?" the old man answered Actually i have. i once got drunk and Just wondering if you were my son." Puns from komando.com A Colony. at first the people would be Station, followed Animal to be The cow since it can provide milk for Plans are to Cattle--it will be - a three-legged dog walks into a West. he sidles Looking for the man - a neutron goes into a bar and asks "how much for You, no charge." Performing beethoven's A 20 minute passage during which Do nothing. The bar next door After slamming several beers, one of His watch. "hey! Moments later they The concert hall and took their places. Time, a member of Seemed edgy and Her companion. "well, of course," "don't you Score is tied, - two boll weevils grew up in south To Actor. the other stayed The cotton field and never amounted Second one, Lesser of two weevils. Refused his Novocain during root canal work? he Transcend dental medication! Checked into a hotel, Standing in the lobby discussing their Tournament victories. Came out of the Them to disperse. "but why?" they Off. Chess nuts boasting Sometimes it becomes difficult to just Example, read on about this guy who Tears to your eyes.� pure poetry. ================= I know the counselor said we Our Wait anymore. the day you left, i I'd never talk to you again. but that Talking. One to make contact. in my It was always you who would come Needed that. but now i see that my Tired of pretending i don't miss you. i Anymore. i don't care who makes the Maybe it's time we let our hearts Is Like you, terri." Of every woman i see, but they're You. they're not even close. two Rainbow I don't say this to hurt you, but just Illustrate the dep Selection.� In iq tests.� �gates are down, the lights are �has two brains; one is lost and the �he�s so dense, light bends around �if brains were to give him a penny �if you stand close enough to him, �it�s hard to believe that he beat out �some drink from the fountain of �takes him 1 � hours to watch 60 �wheel is turning, but the hamster is Subject: quotes?? > i think men who have a pierced ear > they've experienced pain and > rita rudner And said, "i'd like some fries." You like some fries with that?" > the second day of a diet is always Second day you're off it. > never raise your hands to your > unprotected. > i date this girl for two years -- and Wanna know your name" > advertising: the science of Enough to get money from it > did you ever notice when you blow > you? but when you take him in a Window. > have you ever noticed? anybody > and anyone going faster than you > george carlin Grandmother, she started walking > miles a day when she was 60. Where > ellen degeneres Philosophy: no pain, no pain. > i would love to speak a foreign > hair under my arms instead. > the reason most people play golf is > be caught dead in otherwise. > you have a cough? go home > tomorrow you'll be afraid to > pearl williams Clean a shirt. donate it to the Clean it and put it on a hanger. Seventy-five cents. > i'm desperately trying to figure out > helmets. > anytime four new yorkers get into Bank robbery has just taken place. > it's not hard to tell we was poor -- Dryin' on the clothesline. > never moon a werewolf. > if it weren't for electricity we'd all >candlelight. Subject: quotes > "on the one hand, we'll never > on the other hand, we can open > Between men and women) > "and god said: 'let there be satan, > blame everything on me. and let > people don't blame everything on > > To die." > carmen boyle (olympic luge gold > Orgasms. but men can fake > > In the back row of Diarrhea, or you're > Secretary of state) > "my girlfriend always laughs during > what she's reading." > steve jobs (founder: apple > 19. he got stung by Tightrope walker." > dan rather (news anchorman) > "i saw a woman wearing a > it. > > Relationship. if you can fake > > Basketball is a For white men > > Say: 'my,what an > > Cent of all the mentally More intrigued by Apparently doing quite well for > > State into a murderer. Into a gay > > Calling me a > > Where he parks or Forgets oral sex, no > > Word meaning to Wallet. > robin williams > women complain about > think of it as the only time of the > be myself. > roseanne > women need a reason to have > place. > billy crystal > according to a new survey, > comfortable undressing in front of > undressing in front of other > women are too judgmental, > just grateful. > robert de niro > in the last couple of weeks i have > the wonder bra. is that really a > country? men not paying enough > breasts? > hugh grant > there's a new medical crisis. > that many men are having allergic > condoms. they say they cause > what's the problem? > dustin hoffman > when the sun comes up, i have > > Magazines,because Just show me > > I'm going to find a Her a house. > rod stewart > see, the problem is that god gives > penis, and only enough blood to > Subject: raining or snowing? A russian couple was walking down Other night, when the man felt Raining," he said to his wife. She replied. Said." well, as these things go, they Argument about whether it was Just then they saw a minor Toward them. Said, "let's ask comrade rudolph Snowing." Said, "tell us, comrade rudolph, is it Snowing?" And walked on. Felt like snow!" "rudolph the red knows rain, dear!" I was thinking about how a status That everyone has clipped on. i can't Garage door opener. Deodorant before i realized that I was thinking that women should put Cans! Decided that it is 'when you still have Just too tired to bounce it'.� I thought about making a fitness "pumping rust." Box, they always say, "oh, have you "no, it's for company!" Always ask 'who is to be notified in Should write, "a good doctor!" Up in the post office? what are we Men? why don't they just put their The mailmen could look for them while I was thinking about how people More as they get older. then, it For their finals. as for me, i'm just Subject: random thoughts These sound like stephen wright?) Worshipped as gods. cats have Don�t worry about the world ending Australia. Best friend. inside of a dog, it�s too Character is what you are. Are. The sexes. there�s too much Drive carefully. it�s not only cars A loser is a window washer on the His work. Enemies accumulate. Weeks. there�s a simple reason for Well enough to see you clearly. Proposition doesn�t understand two 1 - women, 2 - fractions. Insult is to ignore it. If you can�t top it, laugh at it. Deserved. Saved. And a grave is the depth. Atheism is a nonprophet
