63. 15/03/80 LONDON WC2/WC1 - ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING: Convened by the Society; present Chair, SAR, WPR, Andrew, SOS, guests from Ecuador. The company assembled at the traditional place, the "MARQUIS OF ANGLESEY", as exhorted by the Chair, who wanted to add a sense of timelessness to the whole scene. The SAR, through his mother's international relations dept., invited a number of Ecuadorian visitors, which yielded addresses in Quito for future reference. The WPR entered and immediately complained, as is customary, on the linguistic trend of the meeting - "meeting not in English, etc." Pictures were taken by the Ecuadorian delegation to illustrate English customs back home, and signed beer mats were presented to the said delegation as a sort of souvenir. The meeting reverted to English once the Ecuadorian delegation had been seen off, and got a good deal more tedious, as the party moved to the "LAMB". Nigel Gray was initiated and chose the title of Southend on Sea Representative. A vast number of constitutional amendments were passed through, and a second edition of the Constitution was to be drafted on this basis. The business part of the meeting then closed, and members moved to the "PRINCESS LOUISE" where they tripped over a live band en route for the bog. Then pizzas were had in Strand, and departures.

64. 22/03/80 HEREFORD & WORCESTER - BROADWAY: Convened by Rick; present SAR. Rick arranged to visit Keele, but went via Hull, which was unusual, but even more so, he possessed an ancient map, and being thus unaware of roads, struggled over the Pennines on sheep trails, arriving at 23.30 on March 21st. He had purloined Cider in Stockport and this was consumed in Keele. The next day London was approached and a lunch stop held in Broadway, at the "SWAN". The Folly was duly inspected, as was the village of Lower Slaughter.

65. 22/03/80 WPR'S PARTY: Convened by WPR; present Chair, SAR, Rick, Aardvark-Bong, numerous others. This traditional event was held at 132a Golders Green Road. The main occurrence was the involvement of Rick with a Glaswegian female whose main occupation was gouging out her eyes with dried flowers. The Chair and Aardvark-Bong tried to gain her attentions by recounting when they had almost blinded themselves with steel girders and amplifiers respectively, but to no avail, and Rick formed a specialised form of "Setzengruppe"; other members being forced into a sort of "Wanderungsgruppe", of an indeterminate nature. The Chair became pretty inebriate and talked learnedly on irrational subjects, viz. eating hamsters. Certain members left at 0430 hrs., and Rick revealed he had a rough time.

66. 23/03/80 LONDON NW3 - HAMPSTEAD: Convened by WPR; present Chair, unspecified others. The remnants of the previous night's party went to the "BULL AND BUSH" (Ind Coope) for lunch, after the Chair had pulled a curtain off the wall in 132a Golders Green Road. 2 Orange juices were had, and a half of Pils by the Chair, the only person able to stomach drink on this occasion.

67. 24/03/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Chair; present SAR, WPR, Rick, Aardvark-Bong, IQ. Venue - the "ALEXANDRA". The purpose of the meeting was to initiate a certain Mr. Mick Duggan, presumably a Metal Box man. He was elected unanimously following a rapturous reception of his manifesto, in which he bought a pint for all members. He was accompanied by a friend who had reputedly sunk 10 pints while waiting for the meeting to convene, but who declined membership. Also, Aardvark-Bong proposed T-shirts and demonstrated the concept with his "I Hate JR" logo. Mr. Mick Duggan was elected with the title "The Irish Question".

68. 25/03/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Rick; present SAR, WPR, Aardvark-Bong, John, REG, Rick's cousin and his friend. This crowd met at the "HAND IN HAND" to celebrate Rick's 23rd birthday, and during the proceedings much of the party left to get weed. John mumbled about his band, the Bionic Mnemonics, and the meeting broke up again, the WPR waiting for the weed man.

69. 02/05/80 LONDON W1 - SOHO: Convened by WPR; present SAR, Rick, SOS, Geoff Thomas (of Cardiff and Keele). The meeting began in the "GREEN MAN" in Berwick Street (Bass IPA had to the tune of two pints). The SAR and WPR got there first and both went away and came back again, then the rest came. The guest of the Society hitched from Keele, and another one ought to have come but didn't make it. He then left the meeting for another one in London. The Green Man was initially full of boring office people, then thinned out, then filled with more avant-garde clientele, and also the population of Hull, who had come to play themselves at Rugby League, and sang songs to that effect. Then an interval was had in an amusement arcade where Rick got huge scores at Space Invaders and the SAR and SOS got embarrassingly low ones, and also Rick got lots of money out of the Wheel of Fortune, so it was deemed that he buy a round, which he did. The SOS explained the workings of a fruit machine to an adjacent negress. Then the meeting proper was resumed under the guidance of Rick and the WPR, who were vying for local knowledge qualities and led the party on several volte-faces before settling on the "AVENUE" in Shaftesbury Avenue. Here Everard's Tiger was had, and the label on the pump kept coming off, and despite members' efforts to replace it, the bar staff were inscrutably sullen. The Hull people appeared again, and were even more in evidence in the "POLAR BEAR", chosen by Rick because of its name, where they made so much noise that even Rick joining in on "My Way", and the SOS describing how he didn't meet someone in Lowestoft, passed by unnoticed by the clientele. The party generally drank Bass but White Shield was had too. Being adjacent to the Juke Box, the SAR put the Undertones on, which was heartily approved of by the WPR, but Rick, now holding an important post in the Record Industry, said it was boring and uninnovative, and in the record shop where he worked the tunes he played drove the customers out. Meanwhile the SOS enthused about Southend Pier. A fourth pub, whose name has been lost from memory, was visited. The Chair did not come, but even if he had, he would have been in the Spotted Horse, Putney, but in fact he was busy near Lincoln. It is thought he convened a Carshalton meeting on May 9th.

70. 09/05/80 SURREY - CARSHALTON: Convened by Chair; present WPR. "GREYHOUND" (Youngs); Endlich kommen wir ins Bierhaus (via Green Wrythe Lane, Wrythe Lane, Wrythe Green and West Street (parallel to North Street)). 2 pints Ordinary. Then a meal and 3 x 0,25l bottles of Dortmunder Union Lager were had in the "Shah Jahan" Indian Restaurant. The WPR said "I can't drink a pint of beer straight after this" and the merits of drinking on empty or full stomachs were discussed. The bill was covered by After Eight Mints. "FOX AND HOUNDS" (Ind Coope); the WPR's comments were "ah good, one of them pubs with the benches", however, after he had sat down, this changed to "woo-aargh, bloomin' uncomfortable here". Re beer the 1/2 Ordinary was very cloudy. The Chair had 1 pint Burton, excused himself and left, leaving the meeting unconstitutional . The meeting reopened upon the Chair's return from the phone box down the road. "COACH AND HORSES" (Charrington); Pond Bar, Lounge Bar etc. - see previous minutes. "HOPE" (Charrington); 1 1/2 pints IPA, very little hope detected. Apparatus to stop drunks getting over the bar did not stop barman who kicked a chair over and retreated. Red Cross heavies (geriatric division) were noted. Their precise modus operandi was as follows: The division formed a pincer movement, picking victims on an apparently random basis. These were forced to buy insignia and receive initiation punches. The ringleader had at least 20 coloured ribbons pinned to his jacket. Key words - How're we doing?, All Clear! Exeunt Omnes. Trad. matured crisps. Discussion re Reggae. "RAILWAY TAVERN" (Fullers); The Chair said "Oh, reggae, yes! I do like this record, yes! Various railway impedimenta e.g. Brass plaque on Gents door requesting passengers not to use the "closet" when train is at a station (LMR ?1865). Summary - "So Bloated"

71. .30/05/80 LONDON SW15 - PUTNEY: Convened by Rick; present SAR, WPR, Aardvark-Bong. "SPOTTED HORSE" (Youngs); 10 1/2 pints Ordinary, 1 pint Special. Space Invaders and Dogfight, where the SAR lost to Aardvark-Bong 46-2 (approx.). "HORSESHOE" (Watneys); surprisingly spacious, full of Sharons. Telepathy. After this bout of Telepathy the party went to the "FOX AND HOUNDS" (Whitbread), which was formerly the Coach and Eight. Its transition is documented in earlier minutes. 2 + 2/2 Weatherheedstunt had. Rick declared: "I like monsoons but not mountains, I like teeth but not shoes." This is disputed, but is was eventually agreed that Mississippi Possession Assessing Committees were the best. Then the party went to "FLANAGANS" where Donovan the Deer watched members drink some 3 1/2 pints of Rubbish (Charringtons). Then all present sung the blues/swung the blues, and went to the only remaining pub, within walking distance, namely the Horseshoe (reprise). "Is it a monsoon?" enquired Rick as Aardvark-Bong destroyed by fire the party's old peanut bags. Final Comments: SAR - "The best things in life are free"; Aaardvark-Bong - "I travelled Oh So Far, to be where you are"; Rick - "It's been a long day, a long day"; WPR - "It's been a wet, wet day. Blame the Chair". The investiture took place (in his absence) of Mr. Barry Roskilly as a full member of the Society, with the title of Regular Member, and the proviso that his sister (see minutes of WPR's party) can do anything he likes, walk all over Rick and two founder members.

72. 19/06/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Rick; present Chair, WPR, Aardvark-Bong, REG. Rick arrived in the saloon bar of the "ALEXANDRA" at the scheduled time of eight o'clock and, seeing nobody familiar therein, was about to leave when accosted by the REG, who had just recognised him. These two consumed Beer for some time until Rick, becoming concerned about the absence of the others, went to the public bar to see if any members had erroneously installed themselves there. On the way there he encountered the Chair, who was just arriving, and their combined reconnaissance unearthed Aardvark-Bong, who launched into a WPR-like tirade about how nobody had told him that the meeting would take place in the saloon, and that the Society always met in the public bar (this last statement being of course untrue). He was calmed down, however, and by the time the saloon was regained, the WPR had also arrived, and the party was complete. The entire evening was spent in the Alex, and some disturbing time-warps were encountered time-warps were encountered time-warps were encountered, especially some bizarre behaviour by Aardvark-Bong concerning a cheese sandwich. Barry Roskilly was recruited (in his presence) as a member of the Society, with the title of Regular Participant at Meetings, or REG for short. This new member, despite producing a less-than-impressive manifesto ("I'm having trouble rolling this cigarette"), bought a lot of drinks and was generally agreed to fit very well into the society's ambiance, to say nothing of his sister, whose privileges within the Society have been set out in the previous minutes. The meeting continued until closing time, very little Bacchanalian research being done, but plenty of drinking.

73. 25/06/80 LONDON SE1 - SOUTHWARK: Convened by WPR; present Chair. The WPR met the Chair at London Bridge, where the Chair said "Southwark, isn't it?", and they proceeded to the "GEORGE", the superb historic inn where the Chair followed the WPR through six bars and then they sat outside. 2 pints Wethereds. The "GLOBE"; advertised live music on Wednesdays but this was a blatant lie as all it had was the Telly. Grating carrots, the party made its way to the "HARROW", claimed by the Real Beer in London Book to be Youngs, but actually a Free House with Youngs, Fullers, Everard and John Smith. 2 pints Everards and some food had. Chair's comments so far: "Not very crowded and fairly comfortable. Strange bar staff, to wit one gentleman with very florid shirt and tie and one pooftah serving food". Beer fairly disgusting. After a long walk beside several broken wharves and portakabin skyscrapers, members arrived at the "ANCHOR" (Courage); 2 pints Best. Overlooking Cannon Street Railway Bridge, Redpath Dorman Long hut and the river. St. Paul's (Appendix A) noted. The "DIVE BAR" (Free House) 1 pint Batemans and 1/2 pint Devenish. A basement establishment compared by the Chair to an hotel bar. The Chair made "a quick phone call" and the WPR said "wooergh, long time that was". The Chair said "Reggae, Reggae" and jumped about. The "KINGS ARMS" (Courage); 2 pints Best. Justin Hayward and the Radio Twos. The Chair had to catch his train. Verdict: OK I guess. Yeah.

74. 28/06/80 LONDON W8 - KENSINGTON: Convened by Chair; present WPR, Rick (not Prince of Wales). The Chair and the WPR met each other at High Street Kensington Station and went to the "PRINCE OF WALES" Kensington Church Street (Truman). 2 pints Tap bitter. Very "royal" place with terrible portraits of Princess Anne, etc. and flags and shields. Had two portions of chicken and ham pie, then met Rick at Our Price Records and after visiting travel agents, went to the "ELEPHANT AND CASTLE" (Charrington). 2 pints Guinness, 3 1/2 pints IPA. OK, but very small back bars; all bar staff apparently Australian. Advertised "Try our Moussaka - made with real Greeks".

75. 06/07/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Rick; present Chair, WPR. The party met in the "ALEXANDRA" to discuss the ETROTS (Expedition to Root Out the SAR) and sink a few pints. Nothing occurred of note, though important plans were laid, viz-a-viz the Spanish affair.

76. 08/07/80 LONDON SW1 - VICTORIA: Convened by Chair; present WPR, Rick. The meeting began in "NO. 9 BAR", Victoria Station. The Chair and WPR had 2 pints Ruddles + 1/2 pint Ruddles & 1 pint Sam Smith's. Rick walked in and said "Do you need passports to get Inter Rail Cards?" The answer was, of course, YES, and therefore Rick was labelled as incompetent. The barwoman became embarrassed when the other customers, who had been queueing up, complained that she had served the WPR first, and pointedly ignored Rick, who suspected that he had visibility problems. After getting thoroughly pissed off with B.R., the party moved to a Watneys pub whose name has been forgotten, and had sandwiches, 1 Scotch Egg, 2 pints London and 1 pint Stag. The WPR thought this place was also incompetent but Rick thought the service was quite good, considering it's near Victoria Station. C & W music. The next venue was the "RISING SUN" (Youngs); brightly lit, spacious, good service, comfortable chairs, miles from anywhere except Victoria Station, which is omnipresent. WPR hallucinating. Fly-blown, unappetizing, and probably regurgitated food. Comfortable bench. Scotch Egg like meteorite. Rick's chair was taken over by a peaceful but lumpy cat. A short walk ensued to the "EBURY ARMS" (Watneys); 2 1/2 pints London. Many games of "Galaxians" - Rick lost every time and spilt his beer ALL OVER THE TABLE. The Chair's Galaxian performance was equally unimpressive. It was, in fact, absolutely disgraceful. Nolans on the jukebox, also Detroit Spinners. Life of Brian discussed AGAIN. The Chair was overshadowed by a large dark barrel. It was likened unto a distant corner of the universe, with wormholes, by the Chair, who had just finished his fifth pint. Then the meeting moved to the "SHAKESPEARE" (Watneys) where 2 pints London and 1 Shandy were had. A very distressing time-warp was entered, involving Watneys Beer and the Nolan Sisters. Then came "Baker Street", sung by Johnny Logan. Said the Chair: "No, that is not my five pound note lying there on the floor near the Space Invaders machine". The WPR said: "No, it's not mine, either". Rick tried to pick it up and it disappeared suddenly. He took the joke in good heart, the Chair was bound to say. A very distressing time-warp was entered, involving Watney's beer and the Nolan Sisters. Rick decided that practical jokes would be played on him every 10 seconds, and became accordingly highly paranoid. He beat the pranksters at Space Invaders though. The time-warp was really speeding up. The WPR went out. He saw Victoria Station, and hurried back to the pub, only to hear the Nolans. Rick bought some Watneys and Johnny Logan came on the jukebox. All depart very confused.

77. 11/07/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Chair; present Rick. The meeting continued the diminishing trend of previous encounters, with only the two above-mentioned Committee Members being present. The WPR was apparently informed and said "Woooaah, short notice". As may be noticed from the above minutes, the Wimbledon meetings were tending to stagnate in the Alexandra, due to its comfortable foot-of-hill location. Rick and the Chair were determined to thwart this tendency, and set off up the hill to the "DOG AND FOX", where Young's was consumed and Table Space Invaders played, and where Rick met some old friends. The intrepid duo then penetrated the "CASTLE" in Church Road, which was seedy in the extreme, and full of drunken, scruffy, middle-aged men. The party thus continued to the much more congenial "BREWERY TAP", and drank there until closing time, whereupon the Chair set off for the station, and Rick attempted to catch a 93 bus (never easy), but mysteriously ended up playing an all-night scrabble game in a nearby house (and losing).

78. 17/07/80 LONDON WC2 - COVENT GARDEN: Convened by Chair; present WPR, Rick, Aardvark-Bong. This meeting, the last involving the three ETROTS members before their rendezvous at Dover the following Sunday, not only preserved the timelessness and integrity of the Society, in that it was held at the "MARQUIS OF ANGLESEY", but was also very conveniently located near the Rock Garden, where Rick and Aardvark-Bong later went to see Delta 5 (who are not an obscure jazz-rock combo but a very good new wave band. Rick pointed out that it is very seldom that he and Aardvark-Bong go to see any "jazz-rock combo", obscure or otherwise (this having been raised at a previous meeting in a constitutional discussion), having very little interest in that type of music). The meeting was fairly short.

79. 23/09/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by WPR; present Chair, Rick. The meeting took place at the "ALEXANDRA" at 7.45 p.m. It was the first post-ETROTS meeting, and featured photos of various things.

80. 11/10/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by WPR; present Rick, Aardvark-Bong, Jan, Helen. The meeting took place at 8.30 p.m. in the "ALEXANDRA". Rick said it was a good one, he thought, so it must have been.

81. 25/10/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by WPR; present Rick, REG, Anne (sister of REG). The meeting took place at 7.30 p.m. in the "ALEXANDRA". Rick failed with Anne, but it didn't really matter after a while.

82. 14/11/80 LONDON WC2 - COVENT GARDEN: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR, SOS, The Legendary Growler. The SAR paced through the puddled pavements of Fleet Street and went into the "MARQUIS OF ANGLESEY" to find nobody and so inspected the delights of Covent Garden, then returned to find the Chair, who democratically bought drinks also for the WPR who turned up. The SOS then appeared, and described the eccentric aspects of Belgrade to a bemused audience, while the Chair and WPR, by means of both the written word and oral conversation, described a highly decadent visit to the Spain region. Then the SOS was joined by Growler who came from Cattawade and reported that he covered 22 acres, and less at high tide. The second port of call was the restaurant "Tango's", where the menu was variously in Spanish and English. The membership ate beefburgers in chili plus garlic bread and Carlsberg, except for the SOS who had to be eccentric and have lemonade. The party then left and headed in various directions, ending up at the "GREEN MAN AND FRENCH HORN", 150 yards south of Leicester Square, and here a large amount of pictorial material relating to Spain, Romania, etc. was inspected. Amounts of London Bitter and Holsten were had, except by the SOS who had to be eccentric and have STINGO. Thirdly, or fourthly if non-pubs are included, the assembled multitude headed off in a southerly direction, and the Chair led a determined entry to the "ADMIRAL NELSON" off Trafalgar Square, where he invoked nautical motions but was cautioned to the effect that if he went on like that he might be chucked out, so he desisted and got drinks of Shepherd Neame. The SOS spent a lot of time at the bar looking at a curious man who was washing up but not serving. Coming after a series of good meetings, this one came as a flop.

83. 16/11/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by Rick; present SAR. Rick failed to appear at the previous meeting, therefore this one occurred, in the "HAND IN HAND".

84. 29/11/80 STAFFORDSHIRE - KEELE: Convened by SAR, present Rick, Sec. The meeting took place at the Keele University ("STUDENTS UNION") and was notable for the first appearance of the actual Secretary of the Society, Mr. Nick Baldwin, a prominent Keele personality. The reason for the meeting, however, was a gig by U2 which took place in the Union.

85. 30/11/80 STAFFORDSHIRE - FLASH: Convened by SAR, present Rick. A motorised excursion to the highest village in England. The "TRAVELLERS REST" was visited. The meeting continued to Castleton, arriving at 13:58 and not being able to purchase Beer, so went to Peveril Castle instead.

86. 23/12/80 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by WPR; present Chair, Rick, Aardvark-Bong. The "ALEXANDRA" was again the venue, and several pints were had by all. The Chair gave up his chair and was at a low ebb, which he demonstrated by going to Beeches (Carshalton). Then the rest of the party went to the "HAND IN HAND" and went home.

87. /12/80 LONDON SW11 - CLAPHAM/BATTERSEA: Convened by Chair; present WPR, Rick. After much confusion re: direction, the party set off to the "PLOUGH" where Youngs was had to the quantity of 3 pints. Members were reminded of a pub on the way from Cambridge to Cherry Hinton, which was of an octagonal nature, but the pub was not accorded "lively" by way of description. Then the meeting set off through increasingly barren scenery until the "CASTLE" was reached. By way of beer were had pints of Youngs to the tune of three. Little else could be said; the members spent their time discussing other pubs which they would rather have been in. The SAR was deplored in a vague manner. The road was then wandered in an upwards direction until the "OLD WOODMAN" (Free House) was reached. Outside were various American vehicles with C.B. kit. This proved to be considerably preferable to the previous pubs visited. 4 1/2 pints Sam Smiths were drunk. Next, the "OLD SWAN" (Watneys). Lunar Rescue was played by way of game. The party sat by a window overlooking the river which was very mucky. Various bored and vacantly similar youths, and rather strange girls drinking halves of lager were noted, as well as older, more cynical personnel. Massive timbers abounded, but were patently non-ethnic, as they stopped 3 inches short of the ceiling. The Chair pulled the Lunar Rescue game to bits, claiming "It came orf in me 'and, guv. It just pings out when you press it." A qualified engineer, he comes from Carshalton. The Old Swan was left, and Battersea Bridge Road was headed up, the "DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE" (Youngs) being reached and entered. 3 pints of drink were had by way of Youngs. Chips, curry patties, battered sausages and hamburger were consumed by way of consumption. This, of course, was a while before the Duke of, by way of going up the A10, Cambridge was entered, and drinks had by way of consumption, been consumed by way of assimilation, viz. having been consumed (assimilated - that is to say, eaten and drunk). "That's love (in English and German), further "Love's a symphony"." To explain the above, it may be said that the party were accosted by an extremely drunken Scottish woman (Rick thought) and emerged with flying colours.