36. 20/01/79 LONDON N1 - ISLINGTON: Convened by the WPR (party only); present SAR, Rick, Aardvark-Bong, and a mob of a few dozen, which it was thought would lend a hearty air (party only). The WPR's party was preceded by the "KING'S HEAD", a rather pseudy theatrical place full of people accusing other people of pushing past when they weren't. The Islington residence of Aardvark- Bong was visited, where triple albums by Peter Hamill were discussed, making members rather late for the WPR's party. The party was originally held to honour Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill and Isaac Newton, but it soon emerged that this was an unwise plan and the Party Management Committee (WPR, Mike and Ian) decided to honour the building by holding a belated flat-warming party. The Chair meanwhile had become deeply committed to a collection of metal boxes he had found in Essex, and he took no part in the proceedings. Aardvark-Bong brought some aerosol sprays cleverly disguised as beer cans, and made sure he was noticed. It was observed that there were two separate groups, henceforth called the "Setzengruppe" (Sitting-down Group) and the "Stehengruppe" (Standing-up Group): Rick and Aardvark-Bong naturally went for the first kind. At midnight the SAR remembered that he had left his glasses in Kiel and left in a hurry, pausing only to fuse all the lights. At 2 or 3 in the morning everyone went to sleep, to the sound of snoring and earthy banter from the Middlesbrough peasant contingent. In the morning Rick showed the party a dance he had just made up, and then left.

37. 16/03/79 LONDON WC2/SW19 - ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING: Convened by the Society; present SAR, WPR, Rick, Aardvark-Bong. This event was held after extensive publicity. Several prospective new members were invited but did not turn up. The Chair was not present due to pressing Bacchanalian events in Clacton. The action began in the "MARQUIS OF ANGLESEY". The WPR arrived first as usual, followed by the rest of the party. An initial dispute occurred between Rick and Aardvark-Bong about the relative merits of Ordinary and Special, Rick preferring the former and Aardvark-Bong the latter. This arose from an inquiry by an American couple, regarding which beer the Society could recommend to them, and they found the ensuing discussion to be "so quaint and English" and then volunteered the information that there are more taxi drivers in London than in their entire home state of New Hampshire. At this point they left to go and see A Chorus Line and the meeting moved to the "PRINCESS LOUISE" in Holborn. Members were rather overwhelmed by the gaudy mock-Edwardian decor, and also had to gasp for fresh air at intervals, due to a strong smell of garlic. The pub was rather full, and Rick had difficulty in stashing away his overnight survival bag, which had been issued to him by his mother, and which contained 17 spare pullovers, 40 toothbrushes and countless socks. Then the meeting took the train to Wimbledon and attended the "HAND IN HAND" where certain members met a representative of an Oriental botanical organisation. The SAR disappeared home, having been to a conference on underdevelopment earlier.

38. 17/03/79 LONDON NW1 - ST PANCRAS: Convened by SAR; present Chair, Anthony (of Operatic fame), Greg (of Poland and Derby). The Chair rolled up a day late as usual and defined a meeting at lunch time. He was installed in the "SHIRES BAR" with a suitcase and an impossibly heavy Metal Box (sic) which was full of Corned Beef. Shortly afterwards a distinguished visitor, Anthony P. Freud, LLB, who has been known to most members for years, came in to practise his imminent being called to the Bar. Train connoisseurs will notice that St. Pancras is not where you arrive from Clacton. The venue was suggested by one Greg Cejer, a Polish part time British Rail employee and Morris Dancer, who was on this day working in the buffet car of a train taking Nottingham Forest supporters to Wembley. Shortly after he arrived the Chair advocated Lunch, and with great difficulty his metal box was carried to a Mexican restaurant in Tottenham Court Road, where tacos, tortillas and burritos were had. The meeting closed when the Chair went off home.

39. 31/03/79 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR, Rick, Margaret (SAR's cousin), Azucena (of Ecuador). The SAR was half way through a course in Bristol. The Chair was in transit from Clacton to Brighton for reasons which were not fully clarified, and as a diplomatic gesture, attended a gastronomic pre-prandial in the Berni Inn beforehand, where guests were being entertained to dinner (the SAR had some vouchers to use up). The guests were firstly Miss Margaret Giffen, who could be said to be representing both Sweden and Scotland, but merely came in her capacity as one of the SAR's cousins, being the third of that subset to have attended a meeting. The second guest was an Ecuadorian visitor known as Azucena, as it was felt that the Third World ought to have a voice. On exit from the Berni Inn, the WPR was found wandering up and down muttering, but on being bought a drink he agreed to forget the four days he had spent waiting. Rick came 1/2 an hour later without having walked through any mirrors nor gone into the wrong bar. The Society, now having all founder members present, got into some weighty constitutional issues, which probably bored the guests. The SAR cocked up the rounds of drinks, getting the guests an orange juice with lemon instead of separately (something he always seems to get wrong somehow). The Ecuadorian representative did not notice, and Margaret expressed mild amusement. She then went on to ask why every time two members met it was a meeting; given that this was less than half of the total, it is inquorate. A vote on this was narrowly rejected, but not after the whole fabric and purpose of the Society had been seriously questioned. Members thus left in a state of anarchy, but the SAR managed to inaugurate a Field Trip.

40. 13/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - STOKE-ON-TRENT/NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME: Convened by SAR; present Chair, First Lady A. The SAR went down to Stoke Station to meet the Chair, who arrived in style on a plush Inter-City job. But he got out a long way from the exit and made no bones about it. Unknown to the SAR, the Chair had made arrangements for the First Lady A to arrive simultaneously , but she did not initially pick out the SAR due to inaccurate portrayal by the Chair. When the party had assembled, they made for the nearest place of research, which happened to be the "GLEBE" (Banks's) in downtown Stoke. This was empty, as it was the time the SAR had been before, but it had a civilised ambiance. The idea then was to return for food, but the Chair had none of this, and pronounced that the party would proceed to Newcastle-under-Lyme, (abbreviated to N-U-L) for more research. The SAR had made prior perusal of the Good Beer Guide, and conducted the party to a couple of suitable places to the south of the centre. The Chair, however, turned up his nose at the proletarian nature of the area and it was clear that he wanted to go somewhere like Carshalton Beeches. He found a large Schooner Inn complex known as the "CHERRY TREE", where Holsten lager was had, this filling up the vacant areas requiring Food. The atmosphere was sultry and members were rather embarrassed hulking sleeping bags around. The Chair tried to justify his actions by calling to mind the notice outside which said that there were 3 exciting bars, and he had been to one in Reading with 6, and numerous others of which readers will be spared the tedium. Then the party returned to Keele for cheese, which was reputed to have given some people nightmares.

41. 14/04/79 DERBYSHIRE - BUXTON: Convened by SAR; present Chair, First Lady A. Owing to a sudden improvement in the weather it was decided to sally forth widely. After a tedious journey on 2 buses to Hanley, the Trent bus was taken up via Leek to Buxton. The bus was pretty full, and had great difficulty hauling itself up the Roaches to cross the High Peak. In Buxton, lunch was had at the "RAILWAY HOTEL" where Kimberley's Ales were had. The party sat outside in the sun, under an enormous viaduct, and watched the rather tedious process of assembly of outdoor tables; it being the first good day of the year. The food was mostly Pasties. Following this, the Chair and First Lady A spent an inordinate amount of time consulting a train timetable, the majority of which was copied out on the back of a few handy postage stamps. It was eventually concluded that First Lady A would have to wait 3 days in Leicester and also in Derby to get back to her sheep station in the remote outback of the Soke of Peterborough. Then the party went to the Pavilion Gardens to have milk shakes and Coke, and took the bus back after waiting for ages. A walk through Etruria, suggested by the SAR (one of his less popular sightseeing tours) resulted in the party being back at Keele over 2 hours after the WPR had got there. He therefore wasted no time in voiding a whole volley of opprobria, but once he had been calmed down sufficiently and filled with food, the research reopened.

42. 14/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - KEELE: Convened by SAR; present Chair, First Lady A, WPR. Unlike Cambridge, it is possible to do all the pubs in Keele in one day. Also, the University bars are not open at Easter, so the expedition was content with two pubs, both of which serve Ansells, the most widespread beer in this area. First was the "GOLF INN", a hot, cabaret style place, full of rather posh people about to take dinner. When members poked their heads into the restaurant to see the proceedings, a curtain was drawn, and this was felt to be a rather bourgeois, divisive move, and drinks were hastily finished. The party moved on one mile up the road (for the less fit member it was more like a Swedish mile), to Keele village and the "SNEYD ARMS". This is a spacious establishment, the saloon of which is normally full of assorted Keele students, and the public bar normally full of a small band of dedicated locals, including the SAR's supervisor.

43. 15/04/79 CHESHIRE - NANTWICH: Convened by SAR; present Chair, First Lady A, WPR. Although the SAR got up at 8 o'clock for Iberian purposes, certain members dallied greatly in getting themselves together, with the result that the original aim of getting the 10.44 bus was not achieved. Thus the party only got to Nantwich at 12.35 and proceedings were rather rushed. Delay was experienced at Crewe Bus Station, and two C84s decided to turn round and return the way they came; a strange quirk of the upper echelons of the Crosville Empire, no doubt, but, on arrival, the party wasted no time, and dashed across the road to the nearest pub, the "RED COW" (Robinsons), which was described by the WPR as "ethnic", perhaps as it was vibrant with the classy talk of the Nantwich fraternity. A contrast to this was the "SHAKESPEARE" (Greenall Whitley, Warrington), as it was empty. The SAR took the opportunity of asking the landlord some rather esoteric questions about the geography of Greenall Whitley, and received a rambling discourse which did not really provide the answer. The verdict on Greenall Whitley was not altogether favourable, though Festival Bitter was sampled too. Thirdly, the party walked to the centre and saw an imposing Tudor facade, which turned out to be the "CROWN HOTEL" on which the Chair lavished approval, presumably as it was an hotel, and thus posh. Wilsons Great Northern Bitter was had, and approved. A number of bits of Old Machinery were noted, viz a pump for Ale and ancient slot machines. Large familial parties were taking Lunch, but for this we had no time. A two year old was being pampered by a vast army of her nannies, who progressively took up more and more of the place until the party had to leave. The Chair thought of occupying the reception and doing a Basil Fawlty at the nannies but was persuaded at the last minute not to be controversial, as one was, after all, in Nantwich, where considerable decorum is required. The party had about 15 minutes left, and, on walking up the road, found itself faced with a tri-, or even a quadrichotomy. The WPR insisted on looking at all the pubs but the SAR advocated a rapid decision and recommended the "SWAN WITH TWO NECKS", on the grounds that he had never been into a pub with that name before. Here mild Bass was had, and no lunch, although at closing time the American bar staff seemed very concerned as to members needing anything else, even though they didn't have it. On the way back to the bus the Chair gave a description of a convenience he had visited (it would not be in the best interests of the reader to reproduce this here, especially if he/she is eating), but research on a similar line by the SAR and WPR revealed that the Chair had made some rank misjudgments in finding the appropriate establishment. Despite this, however, the verdict of the party was favourable.

44. 15/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - STOKE-ON-TRENT: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. It was necessary for First Lady A to attend to the lambing season, so the party went into Stoke to see her on to a train. This done, members proceeded to an Indian restaurant, being the only place available in Stoke. Though the food was of good standard, the musical background was excruciatingly scratchy, and the place was empty except for a policeman who was questioning the management (maybe about the disappearance of local pets?). Most of the evening was occupied by a point of order, regarding whether the party was in Stoke on Trent or Stoke upon Trent, and the SAR explained that it was in fact in both, and that the latter was in fact a part of the former. For some reason the Chair was at loggerheads over these definitions and accused the SAR of making it all up. A somewhat miserable evening of research got steadily worse as the evening wore on. The SAR headed off purposefully down London Road, amidst criticism from all sides about the unnecessarily vast distances involved. The SAR retorted that he only intended to walk as far as Birmingham, then promptly turned a corner and found "UNCLE TOM'S CABIN" (Marston's), which contained a small number of beer-potted locals who were half-heartedly playing skittles, drinking, and watching David Attenborough discussing the Bushmen. The WPR was not on very good form but the Chair and SAR sampled the Marstons range. This research continued at the "WELLINGTON INN", where two real boozos had to be restrained from stuffing cigarettes down members' throats as they came in. They seemed to be particularly concerned that the party assure them that it was not representing the Band of Hope, which was done. The WPR continually shifted in his seat, feeling uneasy in the sight of a clientele of pretty gormless characters. Meanwhile the Chair and SAR sampled Owd Rodger, a heavy, strong number which could be pretty dire if taken in quantity. Finally the party tried the "JOLLY POTTERS", as it was felt that a pub of this name would be apt, and it was supposed to have Mitchell and Butlers, according to the Good Beer Guide. It didn't, but it did have a local CAMRA leaflet, and sales of leaflets by the Seventh Day Adventists. The Bass was had; the WPR was still not indulging, and he bought some revolting things called Pork Scratchings. As the pub was towards Hartshill, the party walked into Newcastle, but not after a considerable time was spent waiting for the 10.28 not to come, during which the adjacent railings were inspected in great detail. The SAR eventually persuaded the others that the bus was not coming and to walk to the bus station. There members waited for what seemed like a lifetime for the 11.28 not to come, during which time the Chair gradually lost what remained of his sanity by spinning round a pole. After this and Owd Rodger, he fell asleep on the same pole, while the WPR groaned about his pork scratchings and emptied them all over the bus station. At around midnight it was decided that the bus would never come and a taxi was taken back. It was scarcely more than the bus in price. On return, the meeting was described as a flop of Epsomian proportions.

45. 16/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - KEELE/SILVERDALE: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. Again members were exceedingly slow at arousing themselves, not surprisingly after the events of the night before, which were harrowing to say the least, if not a downright abomination. Anyway, it was all that one could do to drag one's weary carcasses up to the now familiar "SNEYD ARMS" in Keele village, where rolls were had together with a modest liquid refreshment. It was sat outside, though being cold, and some members even expressed praise for the quiet rural charm of the situation, which was even likened to Surrey. After doubt that any new research could be carried out at this meeting, which could threaten its integrity, the situation was remedied by an anomaly on the O.S.Map. It marked a pub as being a few miles up the road to Silverdale. The SAR knew this to be a mistake, but thought the party could do with some exercise and marched them this way. However, they reached another "SNEYD ARMS", again Ansells, in Silverdale, and took refreshment in its austere interior. But it proved tolerable, even though the place was predominantly industrial. The party returned across fields to Keele, a feat which would have been very sticky before the recent unique onset of dry weather. After ritual inspection of the Iberian Studies Centre, food was had at base, being a spag bog.

46. 16/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. The party arrived at their field area at around 8 p.m., giving time for a satisfactory evening's research. Firstly, the SAR announced that the Society should return to the two pubs which the Chair declined earlier. The first was the "STEAM PLOUGH", Ansells, one of the smallest pubs in England. After the SAR's descriptions (or should one say, hypotheses, as he had never been there before), the Chair and WPR were disappointed, as they had envisaged going in one by one and being doubled up between the floor and the ceiling, with a barrel in the stomach. But the scene inside was mildly pathetic, with the middle aged landlady selling cigarettes to an epileptic local woman who could not pay. And then there was old Maud, who deserves a mention here, as she drank four lagers without the party ever noticing her put the glass to her lips, as she was mostly concerned with a diatribe over the price of ham, or some equally dull topic. Maybe she poured it over the cat. And there was this weird, out of place Indian music on the transistor radio, which caused the landlady to exclaim "eigh upp, duck, woet on oerfs this". The party then walked back down Victoria Street, and after much deliberation entered the "CASTLE MONA", the one which the Chair rejected in favour of the suburban splendour of the Cherry Tree. Although empty, the Castle Mona was approved by the SAR, and even the Chair had to admit that it wasn't too bad. Especially as it had, above the bar, pennants from some of his Spanish holiday haunts. There's not a lot else one can say here; there were a couple of hairy beings who left, and there was Greenall's Wem Bitter - better than the Warrington, and Slop's Own Brew, as the beer mat had been annotated. Then the party headed uptown, losing the WPR on the way; he had a sudden impulsive urge for Chips, which he could do nothing to hold back. But the others soon found him stumbling characteristically up and down the High Street, and did him in verbally. The SAR led an uncertain course towards the "OLD BROWN JUG", a Marstons place, and pretty full. Opinions were good, but not much time was spent, as the Chair and WPR had itchy feet, and very rudely left the SAR with his Pedigree, a drink which he had learned not to drink too fast. However, the party were reunited for the second time that evening, and finally paid the legendary "SYD'S BAR" a visit. Again very popular, this bar provides about ten varieties of ale, and this time Banks's was had, being perhaps the most popular brew on the whole excursion. There was no time for further sampling, and the SAR led the party to McGuirks Chip Shop (More chips, WPR?) with the aim of walking back, this being on the way. However, the other two members launched into an array of verbal abuse in the direction of the SAR , and stalwartly joined a taxi queue, in which the rest of the people were treated to what almost amounted to a feudal vendetta between the up and coming industrial bourgeoisie and the adventurous research student, who can afford a few months in Spain by not blowing cash on unnecessary taxis, stomach bursting Indian meals (unless bought by a member of the other group).

47. 17/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - STAFFORD: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. It was felt that the main settlement of the county being studied should be visited, in order to rendezvous with local chieftains and Beers. Also a south-south-east place was selected as it was a suitable place to pack the WPR off on a train. Members again poured unreasonable demands on the SAR, who was expected to know Stafford inside out, though he had never been there before. But pubs he found, the first being the "BEAR INN", another Banks's place, spacious, with good old decor - but only imitation as it looked too tidy to be genuine. Older and more authentic was the "MALT AND HOPS", a free house with theoretically six beers, but about half were unavailable, so the party had to be content with Sam Smiths Bitter. The woman in charge of food sales showed considerable confusion over the order as there were several different menus, none of which accurately reflected the food on display. She showed further consternation when the Chair and WPR decided to have two lunches. The interior displayed an eccentric layout of demi-bars, bars, tables etc. The third stop was the "COACH AND HORSES", not appreciated to the full as it was in the course of major reassembly; in fact the back half was missing. Here members did succeed in getting Mitchell and Butlers Springfield Bitter, which was reasonable. The Chair felt it necessary to include a description of an L-shaped wall in the toilet, quote "if the short run is chosen, the u**.oh this is too crude for inclusion here, but the main gist of the Chair's argument is that he pissed all over his feet, and he tried to blame this faux-pas on the architecture. More important was the juke box, which generously gave a rendition of the Society's theme tune of the moment (Cool for Ca-a-a-ats by the Squeeze). Finally the party went down a side street, the Chair and WPR following the SAR with no certainty that he was going to find another pub in the time available (actually he was trying not to). But he ran into the "VINE HOTEL", and made false claims re. his geographical ability. Another potential Basil Fawlty venue, a promising exterior yielded a pretty dull ambiance inside. A scrawny geriatric served the Chair, who reported the following dialogue: Chair - "Two and a half pints of Bitter please"; Barman - "Two halves"; Chair - "No, two and a hhalf pints of bitter please"; Barman (pours mild) "Oh bugger, wrong one....that's....eighty two and a half"; Chair (not hearing the 8) - "How much is it then?"; Barman (yells) - Eighty two and a half. That wasn't very funny the third time really. Anyway, Banks's was had, and the WPR was then dispatched, giving members the opportunity of absorbing some culture instead of spending all the time drinking as they did when he was present. (For the WPR's reactions re. Culture see minutes of Hampstead meeting). Thus a Midland Red was taken to Shugborough and the follies appreciated, but this is ex-officio, so details about the architecture of this strikingly unusual stately home and its extensive grounds will not be entered into here.

48. 17/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - KEELE: Convened by SAR; present Chair. Owing to a slow journey back from Shugborough, and a leisurely meal, concerning a steak and kidney pie, which took the Chair half an hour to open, which was rather embarrassing for him as his company had made the tin, this meeting got off to a late start. In fact members only just made the "SNEYD ARMS" before closing time and had a quick pint therein.

49. 18/04/79 SHROPSHIRE - MARKET DRAYTON: Convened by SAR; present Chair. To complete the foursome of counties, this small North Shropshire town was descended upon by the intrepid duo. After another of those inexplicable Crosville turnarounds in Knighton, members arrived with a crowd of Salopians at the height of market day. Edging through the crowd, they finally found the "SANDBROOK VAULTS", an impressive Tudor pub dating from 1653. Only McEwans was on, no draught varieties available, however, but the place gradually filled with weary shoppers taking in the sunshine. Despite the notice to the contrary, a number of dogs entered, it being explained that they did not want any of the food anyway. Following this, the SAR wasted a fair amount of drinking time by buying an anorak, which involved comparing the wares at two stalls at the opposite ends of the market. The Chair played for time by joining the chip queue, but this used up more time, there being a delay due to a minor conflagration within the chip van. But chips were had; the Chair wolfed his down and then started on the SAR's. Nevertheless, there was time for two more ports of call. The first was the "CROWN INN", facing on to the main market area. Marstons was had here, and the Chair noted a variety of levels in the pub, which he thought was of crucial importance. Needless to say, the party drank at the lower level. A seemingly nameless pub was visited last, but the landlord told members that it was called the "STAR" and it had matching beer mats - though they actually advertised the Shropshire Star. The landlord explained that "the ol' sign and they took the outside down as it was dropping off". The exterior was mock Tudor, which seemed to be popular here. Inside it was quiet, except for the constant comings and goings of the landlord's family. After sampling Marstons Mild, members returned to the bus, which was full of the same people going back, so that the conductor did a sort of visual register to make sure that everybody was there. On return to Keele, the Chair was treated to a boring few hours in the Iberian Studies Centre. The Chair nearly packed his bags and left, but the SAR chastised him for being so demanding. The Chair countered this by wondering what the WPR would have said in a similar situation. The SAR shuddered visibly.

50. 18/04/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME: Convened by SAR; present Chair, Kazimierz Klaczynski (of Poland, abbreviated to K.K.). This meeting was preceded by a gargantuan Indian meal, for which the SAR was most grateful, despite being seen clutching his stomach at regular intervals during the evening. The meeting was attended by a guest, Mr. K.K., originally from Warsaw, but now in the swimming bath purification business in Newcastle-under-Lyme. It was decided that the best place for an introduction to local ales was "SYD'S BAR", where it soon became apparent that the Society's guest intended to try all ten of the available beers. However, four were sampled; Pollards, Exhibition, Theakstons and Banks's; the SAR having great difficulty getting any of these in, due to his being excessively full of Koh-i-Noor Special. During the proceedings, considerable amusement was derived from the entry of several females into the door marked "Albert" - perhaps they were ignorant of the genders of a famous historical couple. But soon the party learnt that the same door led to the street too. People also blocked the entrance by taking the phone in with them, and clogging it with the lead. The pronunciation of the Polish town of Lodz (Woodsh) was discussed. K.K. decided at about 10 o'clock to return home to his wife, whom he referred to as "this woman I have here", and the SAR succeeded in persuading the Chair to walk back, in order to aid digestion. However, the Chair was not content to have things terminated as they were, and noticed that it was still 10.20 as the party passed Newcastle's "SNEYD ARMS" - a third one - so a final Bass was had in there. Inside it was larger and much more pleasant than the outside would suggest, and members wished they had come before. The company was convivial, and a picture was noted on the wall with identical chairs as the ones in the pub, though the picture depicted the Liverpool Arms, Conwy, Gwynedd. This point may be of little interest, but it seemed important at the time. On arrival back at Keele, the bottle of Belizean Rum was finished, in order to wind up the proceedings.

51. 26/04/79 LONDON E2 - SHOREDITCH: Convened by Rick; present SAR, Andrew, Rick's father. The meeting took place at lunch time in the "BULL AND PUMP" (Ind Coope), and was vaguely controversial, pointing as it did to a serious potential schism in the Society. Rick arrived, having been filling in insurance forms all day, and the SAR came in, having spent N million pounds on photographic equipment. Rick's father then offered members a choice of drink, sandwiches, peanuts, cigarettes, chewing gum, hair lotion, white mice and paperclips, which were accepted by all to a certain extent. Rick then suggested that the Society ought to be a Bacchanarcoticalian Society, but this was quashed by the Chair and SAR as being an activity in which only peripheral members indulge so foully, and it was foreseen that a splinter group might result. Then Rick said "Oh, well, never mind. Back to the City."

52. 16/06/79 EAST SUSSEX - BRIGHTON: Convened by Chair; present WPR. Throughout the weekend of June 16/17, the Chair assisted by the WPR sampled the ambiance and beer available in a few of Sussex's Bacchanalian centres. There now follows as dispassionate a description of events as can be expected bearing in mind the author (WPR)'s part in them. The WPR arrived at the Chair's quarters in Southwick rather later than anticipated due to an overheat in the power plant cooling system of the WPRmobile. After the necessary upbraiding from the Chair and a cup of coffee from the landlady, the WPR was pressed by the Chair to accompany ham by train to Brighton, arriving at about 8.15 p.m. Food was the first priority, but a Kebab take away place was not prepared for the party's arrival so a journey through the Lanes was made to the "PUMP HOUSE" (Charrington) which is steeped in history but has been modernised to cope with the demand for trendy pubs. 1 pint IPA each. Then on to the "ROYAL PAVILION TAVERN" (Free House). This is very popular and hence was crowded to overflowing. Pate and toast were had by way of food. This pub is enormous with many bars and smart bar staff who borrow lemons from each others' bars. (1 pint Harvey's bitter each). A long uphill walk was undertaken; both members were reminded of San Francisco. This journey was prompted by several entries in the Good Beer Guide (1979). A pub (in the GBG) called the Albion was passed by for quality reasons and a corner location was reached - the "WALMER CASTLE" (Free House). A very noisy local with small patio at front where children are being raced against each other by their parents. The WPR walked between a darts player and the board at great personal risk to obtain 1 pint King and Barnes Bitter and 1 pint "Raven", brewery unknown. These were consumed outside, members exchanging glasses at half-time. Then a half pint of Eldridge Pope "Royal Oak" was shared. It was near to closing time so a return was effected by way of Islingwood Road, where a bell for last orders was ringing in the "HORSE AND GROOM" (Whitbread (Portsmouth))(formerly Brickwoods). Here was a quiet bar with a very active Dalmatian dog. 1 pint Pompey Royal each. The station was reached, and despite the ticket collector's insistence that the party had a long wait, the Hove train was caught and Southwick reached after a wait there.

53. 17/06/79 EAST SUSSEX/WEST SUSSEX - LEWES/GLYNDE/WORTHING: Convened by Chair; present WPR. On Sunday, the WPR warmed up his transport and chauffeured the Chair via Brighton and Rottingdean to Lewes, where parking space was procured at the "SWAN" (Harveys), in Southover High Street. The WPR requested 1 pint of BB (Best Bitter according to the price list), and the ageing barperson said "Brown and Bitter?" or "Bread and Butter?" or something, and declared that a BB shandy was out of the question. The Chair intervened and translated the beer in question (it turned out to be the only one available in any case). 1 pint BB, 1 pint BB shandy and two sandwiches, one ham, one cheese; two thirds of the menu. Still hungry (well, the Chair was), so past Ann of Cleves Ho. (on foot) to the "KING'S HEAD" (Charrington) where food was advertised. However, this turned out to be a blatant lie. 1 pint IPA, 1 lemonade. Walked back to car and drove to Glynde, and found the "TREVOR ARMS" (Harvey) where the WPR met a fellow computer person outside; salad and monumental sculptured sandwiched were consumed in this pub, architecturally reminiscent of a railway station (when seated on the lawn, the party spotted the station just below). 1 pint BB, 1 lemonade. An exploration of various places followed: Peacehaven, where the local snails were played with, to the bewilderment of the retired zombies who also live (?) there. Shoreham Beach, with its curious unnecessary traffic islands (or roundabouts). Go(e)ring, where the beach was investigated, and where metal detectors were spotted. Worthing, where an Indian meal was had, then it was opening time: "THIEVES KITCHEN" (Free House), an old place, (or perhaps a mock old place). The WPR thought that the people therein were acting. 1 pint Youngs, 1 pint Youngs Shandy. Then a swift return to Southwick, where the Chair's "Fawlty Towers book 2" was scrutinised by the WPR who then left for Worcester Park. It is hoped that this preliminary report will stimulate further research in the area.

54. 14/10/79 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON: Convened by SAR, present Rick, Kate (of Muswell Hill). "FOX AND GRAPES" 2 pints Courage. The purpose of this meeting was the handover of secretarial functions from Rick back to the SAR, who had returned from Spain. Rick reported that he was still working on the minutes of the April 26 meeting, and thus had no time for further proceedings. He warranted that after five months' preparation, these minutes would be accompanied by a dissertation of considerable length on the philosophical basis of the SLBS Constitution, along with a file of errata to the entire set of minutes. The SAR informed Rick that he was expecting plays, cardboard cut out models, treatises in Music and Mime, etc., to accompany this opus.

55. 23/11/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - STOKE-ON-TRENT/KEELE: Convened by SAR; present WPR, Chair (Keele only). The WPR arrived in the field area in a specially requisitioned Austin Maxi, after his own one had a blowout near Luton the day before. On arrival at Keele, he insisted on leaving immediately and he ferried the SAR to Mow Cop where pictures were taken. There followed a pointless drive around Kidsgrove after the WPR refused to heed the SAR's instructions. Then the one way system of Stoke was circumnavigated three times, after which the WPR, in desperation, shot up the kerb into a car park seemingly without an entrance. Several hours were spent in a tea shop and the "PHOENIX" (Bass) - half pint each. Can best be described as nice and sleazy. A regular customer was prompted to converse with the party after seeing a large tin of beefburgers that it had. He turned out to be the man who delivered beer to Keele, and he proceeded to make some remarks, some rather risqu�, about various subjects. The "WHEATSHEAF" (Worthington) - half pint each. A large, comfortable pub, if slightly without character, in the centre of Stoke. At this point the Chair was met at the Station and the first priority was Food. An old haunt was visited - the Rose Garden (Indian Restaurant) - Indian Meal and 2 1/2 pints of lager. The party noted a different record playing this time, though they did hear the same tunes three times. Now the party returned to Keele and the "(K.R.A. BAR)" - this means Keele Research Association, and a party was in full swing there. Various people at the door extracted money for entering, raffles and donations to the Day Nursery, though the Chair was lucky to win a bottle of wine.

56. 24/11/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - FLASH/WINCLE/BOSLEY: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. The WPR chauffeured the party to the Peak District. The Chair took a domineering front seat though the SAR navigated behind him. Going through Leek, the party arrived at the "NEW INN" in Flash, the highest village in England. 2 pints gassy Tartan and 1 Britvic were had. Not overly impressed with the village atmosphere, and the Chair anxious to move on, the WPR bravely tackled a single track road to the "WILD BOAR" (Robinsons) at Wincle, or, to be precise, Longgutter. Here 2 pints Robinsons and half a shandy were had with lunch - pizzas and beefburgers. Nice views were observed around, but the requisitioned Maxi was drying up repeatedly and it was necessary to leave the hills, to the "HARRINGTON ARMS" (Yates's Wine Lodge) at Bosley, or, to be precise, Rushton Spencer, which the Chair insisted was Stanton Trouser. Here, 2 pints Stones and 1 Orange were had, and the ambiance was varnished wood and horse brasses. To fill in time after this, the party went to Rudyard, and took a walk beside the reservoir, and the Chair left his gloves in the last pub which did not yield when he returned to retrieve them. So the party went back to Keele and got stuck into the Chair's wine.

57. 24/11/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME/KEELE: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. The party took the bus to Newcastle- under-Lyme, and visited the "BULL'S VAULTS" (Banks's) 1 pint each. Recently modernised pub with jazzy arrangements of Christmas carols being played. Buxom clientele. The "JOLLY POTTERS" (Wem Ales) Half pint each. Opposite the unpopular Bus Station, remembered by some members from last time. Bunch of nasty heavy metal people who criticised the Chair's shoes; altogether a forgettable place. Left quickly and on to the "ALBION" (Marstons) 1 and 2 halves Pedigree. The SAR led the others here under the pretext of Syd's Bar which was the other way, but nobody noticed. A crispophile dog was present, as was an old pump mechanism, which fascinated the Chair as such things do. "YE WINE VAULTS" (Bass) 3 pints, one each. Fairly classy, but ruined by the presence of the HM mob again, as well as little old ladies. Navigation of considerable distance required to bogs. In fact, this was preceded by an abortive attempt on Syd's bar, outside of which were some curious dancing punks. The bus was taken back to Keele and the "(STUDENTS' UNION BAR)" where 2 pints Wilsons and half Bass had, along with a selection of pies and pastries, mostly by the WPR.

58. 25/11/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - BETLEY: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. A single lunch time objective was the "BLACK HORSE", a large family (there were some kids running around, as well as pets) pub in a well to do village. The party had some rather small sandwiches with 4 halves Pils, 1 pint Ansells and 11 lemonades. Lush Christmas decorations were already up, and an ugly dog with an IQ scientifically determined at 2 (by the WPR) kept putting its nose into the vicinity, but was too obese to achieve much.

59. 25/11/79 STAFFORDSHIRE - NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME/KEELE: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR. The bus was again taken to Newcastle-under-Lyme. "SYD'S BAR" (Free House) 2 pints Banks's, half Pollards. The HM mob seemed to be dominating this bar this time. Then another Indian meal was had in the Koh-i-Noor, with a pint Carling Lager each. Then the party returned to Keele; "(HORWOOD BAR)" 2 pints Marstons, 1 pint Pedigree. This is the bar of the SAR's hall and not much can be said. "(STUDENTS UNION BAR)"; this time the Alright bar was visited; it is not known why it has this name, but it is all right as no smoking is allowed therein. 2 pints Bass and 1 pint Courage were had to round off the proceedings. The WPR and the Chair left at 7 o'clock the next morning.

60. 22/12/79 LONDON SW19 - WIMBLEDON/MERTON: Convened by SAR; present Chair, WPR, Rick. The four Committee Members met at Wimbledon and the SAR was last as usual. A Quiz was conducted by the SAR and the Chair was presented with a copy of "The Maker of Heavenly Trousers" as a sign of achievement. "BROADWAY" Courage, 4 pints Directors, Crisps, Curtain drawn. "GROVE" Ind Coope, 4 pints Burton, Quiz, Irish Drunk. "HORSE AND GROOM" Watneys, 4 pints London Bitter, quiz, 3 doors to toilet. Mr. Wong, Chinese comestibles, calendar not received. "NAG'S HEAD" Charrington, 3 1/2 pints IPA, presentation, on the way to Morden. "PRINCE OF WALES" Youngs, not recorded, run to train.

61. 23/12/79 LONDON NW3 - HAMPSTEAD: Convened by WPR; present Chair. At 6.00 pm the Chair arrived at 132a Golders Green Road after narrowly missing being hit by the slops which were being chucked out by the Kosher Restaurant next door. The SAR was said to be unavailable, preparing himself for a visit to the sinister "Aunt Pegathea" in seven days time. It was decided to leave immediately and get some food, which was had at the Old Kentucky Hamburger City Pizza Restaurant. Here the Chair had FOUR pancakes. "BULL AND BUSH" Ind Coope; after the meal members set off up the hill to the Old Bull and Bush, which is about 50 yards inside the border of Hampstead. As it was so early in the evening, the place was deserted. Christmas Muzak and pictures of semi-famous film stars were noted. After 1 pint of Burton each, the party continued up the hill to "JACK STRAW'S CASTLE" Charringtons; 1.5 pints IPA were had in "Wat Tyler's Bar". This enormous pub had only six customers, so members drank up quickly while the Chair noted the disguised electric pumps and a ridiculous flashing slot machine. "HORSE AND GROOM" Youngs; once the party reached Hampstead the pubs got fuller and served better beer. There was no canned music but carol singers were heard to sing the first three lines of "O Come All Ye Faithful" before being shut up. 1 pint Ordinary and 1 pint Orange Juice were had while waiting for Rick. The Chair objected to the bogs, which he thought to be more appropriate to the Bullock Cart Indian Restaurant over the road. Although members waited an extra half hour for him, Rick did not arrive, and was taken as also having fallen victim to the notorious so-called "Aunt Pegathea". Eventually, the party went over the road to the "NAG'S HEAD" Free House; a CAMRA investment where 1 gin and orange was had, and half a pint of Godson's Black Horse Bitter, described by the Chair in not more than 4 words as "Thick and bitter-strong". A Chair-like check was made for Rick's presence in the Horse and Groom but none was detected, so members went back to the booze: half pint Andover ("happy and tasty - QUITE distinctive") Bourne Valley Breweries Andover Ale Best Bitter and 2 gin and oranges. Then a band came in and played Jingle Bells, in which the customers skillfully interpolated some offensive words. The party went to the other bar, full of Heavy Metal people who ignored the Chair's shoes, but the band followed behind. When called upon to play "Jerusalem", they left, and as the Space Invaders machine was too crowded, so did the Chair and WPR. The "FLASK" Youngs, 1.5 pints Ordinary; very crowded, with lots of Hampstead drunks, but unlike the CAMRA posers most of the drunks here were ordinary. The table-clearer had about 40 badges and was pissed as usual and, on being attacked by a black dog, said "Ha-ha whoops!", nearly fell over the WPR and pretended he had really come to take away an empty peanut bag. "Mixed bag of people; good bag of peanuts", the Chair hinted truthfully. With time for one more drink, the party tried the King William IV (Courage), but didn't like it so left without drinking. Instead, members went to the "KING OF BOHEMIA" (Whitbread), and had 1 gin and orange, 1 vodka. It was remarkably suburban and ordinary apart from the two tanks of fish which were found. One was obviously the fish loony bin, while the other was full of normal, well-adjusted fish with the exception of a black one whose facial expressions were very reminiscent of the SAR. Closing time was announced by a blackout at 10.25, so the party made their way by tube to Golders Green where non-Bacchanalian coffee was had. It was concluded that much useful research had been achieved, despite the despicable absence of so many of the Society's members.

62. 29/12/79 SURREY - RICHMOND: Convened by the Chair; present SAR, WPR. The final meeting of the SLBS for 1979 was held at Richmond, which was a very good area for beer, according to "The Drinking Man's Guide to Surrey Pubs", a book the Chair had been given for Christmas. Due to the Chair's zeal this meeting started at 10.30 in the morning, but the SAR's usual lateness meant the party missed the train and had to travel to Richmond via Clapham Junction. "ANGEL AND CROWN" (Fullers); 1 and two half pints Ordinary were had. The party was guided here by the Chair's book, which claimed that there would be free oysters, but as there were none, members drank some fizzy beer and watched the shoppers drag their kids through the pub. Having wasted so much time on the Clapham detour, the party moved on to the "WATERMAN'S ARMS" (Youngs), where 3 pints of Ordinary were had. This small riverside pub was undistinguished and caused the SAR to bubble his beer a lot. After this the Chair and SAR insisted that the party go up Richmond Hill to look for the "Tudor Close", supposedly a Free House nearby. It was not found, but instead the "ROEBUCK" (Youngers), was visited. This large and gentrified pub, described by the Book as "sprucely elegant" and "roomy yet intriguing" managed to look cavernous and dingy, despite being on top of a hill with a fine view. One and two half pints Youngers Triad number 3 were had; like the pub, the beer was dark and surprisingly tasteless. A collection of dogs, bikes, wheelchairs and unnecessary room partitions being spotted, the party moved off to the "LASS OF RICHMOND HILL" (St. George's Tavern), 1.5 pints Trumans, half pint Holsten Lager. The Chair played Space Invaders while someone flamboyantly played a grand piano outside the Gents. The Chair's booziness temporarily subsided and he donated most of his beer to the WPR. The party returned to town via "CHRISTIES" (Free House), 3 half pints Brakspears. This pub by Richmond Bridge also sells Youngs and Fullers and gets very crowded in the evenings, but this lunch time members were able to get seats. Police records played and the party had to fend off two plates of moussaka which the SAR thought looked like sick. "WHITE CROSS" (Youngs). 3 half pints Ordinary were had in this riverside pub. Here members became enthusiastic about beating the Society's record of 13 pubs in one day, so halves were drank and the meeting headed off for the "RED COW" (Youngs), 3 half pints Ordinary. This pub was not as sordid as the WPR was led to believe. Here, the Treaty of Heidelberg was renewed between the WPR and the SAR for a further five years, until 1984. "WHITE HORSE" (Fullers); 3 half pints London Pride were had in this pub which was near the Red Cow. This took the meeting to closing time, by which time all were hungry and decided to go to Broad Street for Lunch. Returning to the Station, the Chair and WPR lost the SAR and took the opportunity to buy some vodka which was consumed sordidly on the train. The Chair and WPR got drunk and the SAR got embarrassed and drunk, and got lost in Broad Street after the Chair had fallen down some stairs. Eventually everybody ordered some food in the Broad Street Wimpy, where the staff were so discourteous and unhelpful that after lunch the visit to the City was curtailed and the train taken back to Richmond. On the way the SAR's shoes were removed but returned under the Treaty of Heidelberg (1979). Then everybody fell asleep and woke up at Richmond. Here members all had to get off and drink, the Chair said, at which the SAR made another abortive attempt to escape home but was captured by the Chair and the WPR returning from inadvertently stealing a Yorkie Bar from Woolworths. "OLD SHIP" (Youngs), half pint Ordinary, 1 lemonade, 1 orange juice. The Chair's unlimited capacity for Drink was reawakened, but for the other members this part of the proceedings was not very Bacchanalian. The Chair had a game of Space Invaders and lost; this caused his disinterest, albeit temporary, in his beer. The Ship itself was large and fairly pretentious, with "For Gentlemen Passengers Only" indicating the Gents. However, by this time both the WPR and the Secretary had had enough to drink so the boozing was called off and the party went to the SAR's house. On the way to the station the Chair said "Ooh!" in a high-pitched voice and fell over again. On the train, the SAR's clog was once more removed. At the SAR's house the party had some food, washed up and, after looking at 200 of the SAR's Spanish postcards, the Chair wound up the meeting and he and the WPR left.