"Simon too downright cruel for the infidels" claims Osama

Fux can exclusively reveal that Simon Cowell has been recalled to Baghdadistan after accused of being "Just too downright cruel for the infidels" according to Osama Bin Laden.

Fuxs' undercover reporter at Aliazeera T.V. managed to get this screen capture from Osama Bin Laden's New Years message, next to him can clearly be seen Simon "High waster" Cowell, who's also been seen in the streets of Baghdadistan shoving his "anthrax like" personality into other people's faces. It's believed he's been recalled by Osama to face the Al Qaeda high counsel to answer for his "crimes against humanity".

Osama was overheard on a phone tap: "Simon and I go way back, who'd you think really thought up the 'Spice girls' - Infidel slappers parading around displaying their over active wares... it was Al Qaeda's first attempt at turning the western media against it's own people and all the time they were oblivious to it. I over estimated the amount of taste people had and it backfired, still can't get that dam tune out of my head" Osama starts singing: "I want to ziga zig ahhh".

Osama continues: "Simon & I were enjoying a local beheading and burning of some woman who'd been found with a book, when Simon turned to me with wide eyes and said 'Ozzy my son I think I've got it, with a little tweaking this format's a winner!' and so Idol was born... All the guys here found it hilarious, these westerners displaying their dreams so readily only to have them torn asunder by Simon. After the third series however we started to pity these half heads whoring themselves for a few seconds of fame... Even Abdulah the Castrator came up to me and asked if it wasn't time we cut these jack asses some slack during the middle of a particularly distressing episode".

"I've got nothing against the use of Anthrax on western soil but Simon's just too downright cruel for the Infidels, we shall bring him before the counsel and end this once and for all, did anyone see the Simpsons this week, funny huh? Dude Fox rules..."

Fux contacted ABC to see if they'd comment, their receptionist said "everyone was out in the car park watching an intern burn in a rubber tire & could I call back tomorrow as they'd planned a hanging and a BBQ that'd be going on late".