The Phantom of the White House...

Washington D.C. - Unnerving news from the White House, staffers have become constantly more nervous over the last few weeks because of an oppressive spirit within the Oval Office and surrounding halls. The spirit dubbed "The Phantom" by scared staff is said to have a strange power over the president.

The White House Spokesman talked directly to our Fux representative: "It's not a joke so stop laughing and making that WOOOOHHH! sound, this is really serious. Last week as I walked into the Oval Office to report to the president I was sure the door on the other side of the room had just closed, I looked across to the president and he was reading a newspaper, that's totally out of character for George, when I asked him what he was doing he stared at me blankly and repeated the name of the newspaper over and over again "National Inquirer, National Inquirer, National Inquirer.." I slapped him vigorously across the face several times & threw his Jack & coke over him before he came out of it.

The Pope, who is touring the states at the moment, has been flown to the White House to perform an exorcism. The Vatican spokesman outlined the procedure: "The focus of the spirit, in this case the president, should be strapped down to a strong surface, maybe the desk in the oval office, then the Pope along with a second would perform the exorcism".