Government compensation for London bomb victims: Jaffa cakes in place of money

Our Man in London - PM Tony Blair announces measures to supply "all those effected by the terrible crimes committed in our capital this summer with a box of Jaffa Cakes", he defended his decision to hand out the Cakes/biscuits with a sponge base, an orange flavoured jelly like middle and a layer of chocolate instead of money stating "money isn't everything, it can't buy you love & furthermore who doesn't like Jaffas!".

This inspired decision may open the floodgates to many other victims and a rush on Rich Tea Biscuits is expected.

Blair went on to say: "If this approach to compensation proves to be successful, I'm thinking of giving out Spam to anyone injured on our great British rail network this year, a mixture of pig & chicken in jell always brightens my day up".