Inuits linked to Al Qaeda

The Arctic May 23rd 2005 - Sources have revealed a growing fear of links between the Al Qaeda & Inuit networks, Al Qaeda are believed to be funding an iceberg melting program. Our source reports: "They purchased over half a million hairdryers and truck loads of generators and I don't think it's hairstyling that's on their devious little arctic minds"

News of this has sparked a panic buying of hair drying accessories across the nation. The head of the BSOA (Barber Shops of America) Raoul Smendy gave a press conference this morning: "We have no connections with either the Inuits or Al Qaeda, yes we have many hairdryers but I can assure you we use them for good and not evil".

Bush calmly answered questions on the White House Lawn, when asked if the use of hairdryers on mass could speed up global warming he replied: "Global warming? There ain't no such thing and furthermore, and I can't stress this enough, we can't afford to be scared of a little blow job".