November 2000

Mulder Fish Journal
Nov 1st , 2000

Time had passed slowly here alone. With no Mulder and no other
fish for company, I've come to understand the man my brave owner was for so very long.

I can feel him in my fins, a troubled man, or fish that *I* am,
carrying the weight of loss and tragedy squarely on courageous shoulders.
( if I had shoulders that is ) A horrible and lonely fate that I've weathered proudly in his
absence.

UNTIL...... she swam into my tank.

I'd resigned myself to my solitary existence. I concurred the problem of food long ago.
Scully and that guy Fryers, I think that's his name. ( It's so hard to be sure of such things through water and glass.) I wasn't entirely sure of Scully's name for a long time, well until
Mulder began screaming it late at night in his room so damn loud I think fish in
tanks everywhere would have heard him loud and clear.

Scully... Oh Scully !... OH !! Scully .... SCULLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmm one day I'll get to the bottom of all that?

Anyway I'm pretty sure the guys name is Fryers, which while I don't understand it seems to provoke some instinctive unease, almost fear, in me each time I hear it. But I shake it off since both he and Scully come often now to make sure I'm fed and cared for until Mulder returns. 

Actually they have been feeding me quite well. So much so,
possibly over compensation for nearly STARVING ME TO DEATH,
that I've put back on some weight rounding out nicely to one
devastatingly handsome fish once again.

While the guy is all business - quick check of the apartment, fish
flakes, and out the door - Scully spends time with me each visit.
She talks often even though I rarely can understand her through all
those mallomars she devours during our exchanges.
She cries less these days and at times even has this kinda happy
hopefully look about her I can only describe as glowing.

It all began a week or so back during one of those non -
munching glowing moments. For a change I heard every word.
At the time I had no idea what she meant but now I can hear the
words clearly in my head and understand them perfectly.

"Poor fish, you're alone, no scaly touchstone by your side. No
need for us both to be lonely."

Yep I didn't get it then but when she showed up again the next day,
plastic water filled bag in hand and a big smile on her face I
figured it out pretty quick.

Yes, sireee no sooner had I become accustomed to my Mulderlike
life than did that tiny pale fish with bright orange fins come
swimming into my life.

Like Mulder and God knows how many other men and fish before us.
I was doing fine, prepared to live out my life alone, until that *right *
pair of perfectly bugged eyes swam into my world.

Fight her power, her draw, as much as I like. But from the instant I saw her .....

I knew I was a lost fish!