June
2000 - 11
From the Journal
of B. W. Overcoat M.O.W.
June 20
The undies still
aren't back. We're all hanging out for the rest of
that story but they've been gone so long we're beginning
to wonder if
they're ever coming back. There must be enough underwear
in that basket by
now for them to be having a raging orgy! Lucky blighters!
And the stories
they must be swapping. Assuming, of course, that they
actually have enough
energy left to talk! Scully SHOULD have done her laundry
by now, but then she does
seem to spend quite a bit of time just lying around in
bed under the
covers, both in the morning and at night making soft sort
of moaning noises. I
thought pregnancy wasn't supposed to be painful but I
swear the poor girl
is in agony on a regular basis. I guess this is all part
and parcel of
what they term morning sickness, only it's a stupid name
for it since it
happens at nighttime too.
Heard an
interesting story today. Scully went to Mulder's
apartment
recently, apparently to feed the fish. There was only one
left out
of four which I believe had her baffled. But then when
she went to the desk
to check his answering machine for messages she found a
shriveled up fish
carcass on the desk beside the phone. She stared at it
for a few moments and
then said, "Oh my God, the phone call!" Then
she picked it up almost
reverently and placed it in the toilet bowl to give it a
decent send off. And as
she flushed it out into the great divine waterways of the
sewer she
shed a single tear and then started to yell, "Fox
Mulder get your sexy ass
back here before this trend continues. First your sister
is abducted,
then your father gets shot dead, then your mother commits
suicide, then the
fish disappear and commit 'hari kari'. I didn't even know
they were Japanese varieties. But I am NOT about to
follow in their
footsteps. You hear me! Get back here and protect me and
your future son or
daughter before we are also swallowed up by the Fox
Mulder curse! I mean it,
Mulder. Get back here now or I swear I'll make Frohike
think all his
Christmases have come at once! At least I know he won't
go off trying to be abducted
by aliens, and if they did accidentally scoop him up,
they'd just think
he was an experiment gone wrong and toss him back! He
wants me and
wouldn't run out on me. And I know he wouldn't care that
I'm pregnant -love is blind.
Oh GOD, what am I saying? Me and Frohike? Love isn't THAT
blind! See what
you've done to me, Mulder. I'm going crazy. CRAZY! The
curse is taking me
over already. Can't you at least get back here in time to
save the
child?"
Well, that's the
story as told by White Buttoned But Not Tucked in
Shirt and Narrow Legged Black Pants, Personally, I tend
to take most of it
with sliver of iron-on mender. They were SO obviously
just enjoying
being the centre of attention for a few moments. Fish
using the phone?
That 's a stretch even for MulderFish!
Using the email
though, now that I COULD believe. . .
Later June 20
They're BACK!
Thank the divine Seamstress! Think we'll make a start
while she's in the shower. Now to just get everyone
together.
Journal of the Lone
Mulderfish
( sometime after the demise of fish 2 , pre flush-funeral
)
I'm alone now, just me
. The sole survivor and only legacy
to the Mulderfish line. Melvin is gone now. He went
heroically, leaping
bravely from the tank to the phone to summon the help so
desperately
needed.
He did make the call,
I'm sure it went through. Sadly, the truth we
both knew, that it was a one way mission, became
painfully clear
as I watched him flop helplessly against the desktop
until he
eventually lost the battle to survive.
I can see him now
through water and glass, lying there, rotting away,
and no doubt stinking up the place.
I'm stuck here,
swimming back in forth, in mourning, sad, but in some
twisted, way enjoying the added space.
Then I heard the door
creak open for the first time since Mulder
left us. A glimpse of red hair and black clothing. Always
Black!
And I knew Scully had come.
I watched her roam
around the room. She wasn't herself. She'd stop
and look, even pick up items, hold them in her hands,
sometimes pressing
them tight against her chest. She'd smile one second and
the next she'd
burst into tears.
I was shocked!! I've
seen this woman a lot (a whole lot more of
her lately, if you know I mean - I'd wink if I had
eyelids). But
I'd never seen her even close to this emotional. It
started me wondering,
where was Mulder ?! Had something finally happened to
him?
Maybe he wasn't coming back at all!
Panic set in , I had to
get her attention! I started banging my
head against the side of the tank, which hurt like hell,
but what else can a
fish do ?
SCULLY !!
SCULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!
I don't know if it
worked, or if the thought of crying over HIS fish
happened to cross her mind at that instant. Either way,
she walked
over to the tank, holding Mulder's old ratty basketball
against her stomach.
Boy, she sure looked strange! I'm not talking about
distortion of
the glass here.
No, that woman is far
too short to be that round. Thank god she
set it on the couch before leaning over to the tank and
meeting my eye.
Then I heard it, the
words I was waiting for. . .
"Awww, you must be
hungry l'il Mulder." As soon as she said that,
she started bawling again!!!
I waited - what else
can I do? - and eventually she recovered enough
to sprinkle the flakes... "Come on baby, " I
thought, "give me the flakes...
you can do it baby, give me all you got !"
As I was munching,
devouring the food, I can kinda recall similar
dialogue having nothing to do with fish flakes coming
from Mulder's bedroom
pretty recently and I wondered, WHAT WERE THEY DOING IN
THERE ??
Watching me chow, I
think at last the obvious occurs to her. "Oh, you're
alone. . ." She starts crying again!!! "Where
is your friend, your aqua
touchstone?"
I try to tell her,
moving my mouth, saying the words 'HE'S DEAD !
TURN AROUND!' but, of course, she doesn't get it. (Will
people
ever get a clue that when your fish comes to the glass
and moves
its mouth over and over ITS TALKING TO YOU !!!)
She looks back and
forth in the tank until her nose crinkles up and
she starts looking around the room . She turns around to
see him there,
sad and decomposing on the desk blotter, and promptly
blows chunks
into the garbage can by the desk before starting to cry
all over again
and rushing out of the apartment.
All I can
say at this point is, what's up with her? Oh, and EWW
NEXT
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