Journal of
Nurse Owens
June 30, 2000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was busy painting my new fleet of Life
Line row boats when my cell phone rang. I
recognized the caller before she even uttered one
breath.
Dana Scully! I
hadn't heard from her since last summer, when she
maxed out all her credit cards because she was
worried that her partner was going to die in a
mental institution. I threw her an emergency
credit line to help pay for the extensive summer
wardrobe and sterling silver machete collection
she purchased for a trip to the Ivory Coast.
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| Anyway,
Dana needs my help again. She claim's she's
pregnant! I was almost certain her diagnosis
after her abduction included something about eggs
scrambled beyond recognition, but I might be
confusing that with the hospital's breakfast
menu. The miracle child is apparently the product
of her union with that brooding but handsome
partner of hers that couldn't take his eyes off
of her enlarged breasts (a typical post-abduction
reaction to Earth's gravity). She told me he's no
longer institutionalized but abducted by aliens
for his beautiful mind. I'm almost as concerned
about Dana now as I was after her abduction. She
keeps having these fainting spells, and she's
been eating Skittles colored fruit candies so
when she vomits from morning sickness she can
"taste the rainbow." I volunteered to
throw her some Life Saver's five color fruit roll
candies, but she got very upset at the suggestion
and started shouting something about not taking
candy from her Enemy.
I think I
really need to pay dear Dana a visit. And I'm
feeling protective towards her child already --
I'm going to bring along my newest boat,
"Baby Breath," from the Toddler Fleet.
Hope she likes
it!
Nurse Owens
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