June
2000 - 2
Journal of
#%&&*
Day 2 of abduction
OK, this might be hard
to describe but....
I have spent some time on earth's internet.
I KNOW people write about this Mulder guy.
Funny thing, so many
groups of them LOVE him
and so many groups HATE him.
I've read where some
call him a big ***hole. I don't think I'd go
that far though. I have probed the guy now and he's a
regular ***hole
like the rest of the earth people. If we ever let him go,
it will
be with a warning to stop eating the shells of sunflower
seeds.
They are wreaking havoc on his colon.
Now that "squishy
squashy" nose of his, that's another
story altogether. He certainly gets more than his fair
share of oxygen thru that honker. OK by me, though; we
have no use for oxygen. Mulder can have all he wants.
There seems to be a lot
of controversy on earth about what
this guy Mulder is wearing around his neck. Some say it's
a zipper. Fools! It looks like some sort of earth
religious
symbol. I've seen it before. When we took the redhead (I
was
not a full partner yet, I just observed), we left that
behind.
All in all, this
abduction experience has not been too hard
on the big guy. We've probed him, measured him, and
catalogued
his scars. We KNOW he is fertile because the redhead
is with child. His child, let's put that to rest on the
internet
also. Some people on earth seem to believe CGB has had
something
to do with this. He may have reactivated her ovaries but
she and
Mulder did the rest.
And as for CGB, can't
kill him, earthlings. Stop trying. He'll
be back, right as rain. The muse we sent to 1013 will see
to that.
We have had a lot of
fun listening to Mulder's accounts of
abduction experiences. He certainly has some
misconceptions.
Sure, we'll send him
back in pretty bad shape. We have to, the
MT writers wouldn't have it any other way. They inflict
more
horror on this poor guy than we could ever dream of.
I sent a special
message to some guy at 1013 named Vince. (BTW,
he is cute as a button.) We'll send Mulder back to earth
in
relatively good condition as long as Vince plans on
writing most of the
episodes in which Mulder and the redhead will be
together.
I guess I should get
back to my work on Mulder or he'll never
be ready for his 8/11 episodes.
From:
"Byers"
<Pining4Suzanne@paranoid_punks.lonegunman.net>
__________________________________________________________________
As previously
discussed, Agent Scully has given me access to
Mulder's apartment with the condition that I don't
"desecrate the shrine."
I'm not exactly sure what the "shrine" is that
she's referring to, but
there's a small Buddha set on the middle of Mulder's bed
with two empty tea
cups next to it, so I've left that undisturbed. Also, why
didn't you guys
tell me he replaced the tournament sized foosball table
that used to be where
the bed is? Have you discussed the relocation of our next
Annual
Cheesesteak and Foosball Festival without including me?
Getting back to
the matter at hand, I'm pleased to report that I've
located the small safe that Mulder described to us prior
to his trip. It
was in the desk drawer like he said it would be. However,
I've had difficulty
getting the thing open -- I think there's a problem with
the combination.
I've tried every possible variation of 11-22-8. I've
tried to turn the knob
left and in, and the knob left and out, I've turned the
knob right and in
and I've shaked it all about. I've even kicked the hokey
thing and turned
myself about, but that's not what it's all about. Do you
guys have any
idea of what the significance of those numbers might be?
11 -- can that be for
the month of November? 22 -- is that the date? 8 -- is
that the number of
times Buddha or God needed to be praised loudly to
achieve shrine status?
Can the "8" really be a poorly written
"3," which would mean 3 months or
maybe third month, as in March? Langly, can you please
run all of these
possibilities through the random algorithm generator
program that helped us break
the code for Diana Fowley's handcuff lock combination?
One last thing
-- I thought Agent Scully was on Fish Feeding Duty,
and she's usually very reliable with that sort of thing.
I had the
misfortune of finding one of Mulder's fish lying dead
right next to the mouth
piece of his telephone. Maybe Mulder wasn't joking when
he said the fish call
out for Chinese if he doesn't make it home for a few
days.
Please advise
when you get the correct protocol to open Mulder's
safe. He insisted that there are some audio tapes that
are for
Scully-and-child's ears only locked in the box.
Byers
The Diary Of Marita
Covarrubias
June 1st......... late.... in the evening....
Alex called
tonight........
He asked me to have
dinner with him ......
I know what it is....
he really wants............
truth be told.... I also.... have.....
wantssss....neeeeeds...
I shall..... except his
invitation..........
I must..... face the
truth.....
That hellish...glowing
eyes..... victim of experimentationnnnnn....
look...... brought few.... gentleman callers.
I took careful...
assesssssment.... as he...... showereddddd ... at
the prison........
The man .... clearly...
could afford to lose his arm..... and
still......... have a complete ... impressivvvve .... set
of
appendages......
I desssserve a good
time... as much assssss..... the next ....
woman .....
I can use
Alexxxxxx...... for my pleasure......
I've checked...... his
medical records.......no diseaseee... and
everyone knowsss.... the experiments these men... have
conducted.... on us leave a woman .... unable to
concieveeee...
Its not like I can
become pregnant..... or anythinggggggg
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