| ErAsE mE Online goodness to enrich your soul 9_9 thats if you still have one *rumages through papers upon papers of signed over souls* mine~ .......................................................... Brought to you by the makers of Lufa...the practice Satan, collect the whole set. ..................... WARNING: Strong content of miss spelling and puncuation follows..did we mention the writer is insane..and a teenager?! |
| ::KEY:: Font= Depression / Font= Angry/ dilusional / Font= Babbling |
| I wonder if im skilled enough to commit a murder and get away with it...-_- probably not since i just mentioned it here. Another day filled with screams from the "adults" in this family. (ah yes...the great mexican trash family..thank bob i was born in this 9_9 wonderious country) stress is high at our house and all we hear is screaming day in and day out. pointing fingers, or just ...screaming over meaningless shit. I never liked my moms new husband, never enjoyed his company, never liked his presance. See my mom has horrible taste in men, her first husband (my dad) was an abusive drunk that dragged us from state to state for bob knows why. >< she then traded him for another abusive drunk...although 9_9 he doesnt hit physically like my father did, he does hit you with mental abuse. annnnyways enough background...damn i forgot what i was going to say...ah yes...>< their insessive fighting causes me to relive my childhood...and thats one thing i detest..i would sell my fucking soul (well the ones ppl signed over to me) to forget my entire childhood >< i remember when my mom and dad would scream and fight they would somehow find a way to get us into it, to try and hurt each other like " Alma, Addie, get your stuff we're leaving!" and we would leave after my dad would beg us to stay...of course we would come back later on or " your a horrible mother, they're going to take your children away from you!" and then we would spend the night with my mother sneaking into our room to see if we were alright out of guilt or..bob knows what....but -_- yea it was very ,,sad. i would pray to have a normal family...and when it wasnt granted i felt as if bob had dumped me in the middle of no where and forgot about me... then as i got older i knew and can now conferm that he hates me...because everytime i pray for something it comes out the exact opposite (example : please god help my mom get better." then she has another surgery). i guess my praying just reminds him that im here and his answeres are never fair or loving. But im sure you all have tons worse stories -_- trust me, its much worse when you live through it...and i spared you the sad and sickening details. 9_9 then my cousins and aunts wonder why im so different from them..yes keera and i are the black sheep of our family. I really dont know if im angry or just >< depressed...so i chose this color. yea well >_> cant wait for this shitty holiday to be over. Take care (and a personal note to Sal....Fuck you! you're not so fun when you bitch about wiggers the whole fucking conversation! >< ) 12/03/02 |
| ~_~ just finished writing a corny ass letter to the judge...er dont ask ...no im not introuble but lets just hope that the letter works. >_< hmm it seems that mom is not only a bad judge of character with men but also friends too. She lent her friend our car for ...like a year, and during that year she had 5 tickets totalling 200.00 and started driving around with no license...when we went to pick up the car she acted as if we were the bad guys 9_9 *shrugs* another perfect example on how nice ppl get it up the ass. Lets see im writing under pressure so its hard to say whats on my mind. lol yes a lot of time goes into these posts although it doesnt look like it x_X. oh! tomorrow we're spending the day in Portland....so if you dont see me on..sorry your wish didnt come true 9_9 im not dead. Portland is...ah look it up on the map ^^;; lol jk its two hours from our home....and >_> its very big lol XD our city looks like a village compared to it. ...my birthday is coming up..you know what that means 9_9 i'll be needing a cane in a few days....>_> im not counting down this year but if you want to do it be my guest. my bday you ask? Dec 27th...yea >_> no one usually cares and no one ever remembers...o_o no im not throwing a guilt trip i actually dont care this year... last year was a very sad bday for me. why, you ask? eh...I had broken up with my boyfriend in october and it was my first christmas alone...funny...everyone was depressed that year or suicidal 9_9 at least in my family..but with 9/11 who knows. Anyways my mom worked that day and my aunt and uncle had promised to make me a party at this pizza place...8 pm soon rolled around and still no phone call. then they came over ....>< to drop freaking cookies off at our house...it seems they had forgotten all about it...-_- doesnt matter...that made me stop acting like a child waiting for their bday..counting down every last day and hour. >_> yea the only good thing about that day was the morning..my mom and sister had given me roses and balloons , promising to celebrate it later. AAnnnyways lets get off that subject....it looks like keera is going to start pulling out her hair if i waste anymore time. Take care 12/4/02 HAH! you thought i wasnt going to post today huh? ^_~ 11:48 its still the 4th lol tc |
| Okai i know i know "you didnt post yesterday" but i did! evil geocities wouldnt let me save grrr and i was too tired to type it again. So i'll sum it u p there. We went to portland yesterday and saw the judge....aaaaah im to lazy so um....i'll fill the space with dancing kurbies!! watch the imps dance! <(' '<) <( ' ' )> ^('o')^ (> ' ')> dance you bastards dance!! supposed to be for 12/05/02 |
| @_@ im so sleepy but i must...stay awake *twitches* why? i have to wake up late tomorrow. i start work at 6pm all the way through 6 am @_@ my ideal job lol except for the fact that i will have less of a life i have now T^T and i wont be able to watch my auction end *sniffles* hmm everything seems to be going okai in life at the moment. ^_^ i found my favorite sweater...well my mom did *__* i love her for that...well i love her for ...lol nm that just sounded evil? @_@ gah i remember when i was in kindergarden my teacher asked me " why do you love your mom?" and i answered " because she takes me to Mc donalds every friday" ><!!! i'll never get over that lol eh kids..*shrugs* o_o i have really..nothing to say lol so i'll leave you with that. >< 21 more days till my bday damn im old! 12/06/02 |
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