| Online goodness to enrich your soul 9_9 thats if you still have one *rumages through papers upon papers of signed over souls* mine~ .......................................................... Brought to you by the makers of Lufa...the practice Satan, collect the whole set. ..................... WARNING: Strong content of miss spelling and puncuation follows..did we mention the writer is insane..and a teenager?! |
| ::KEY:: Font= Depression / Font= Angry/ dilusional / Font= Babbling |
| Another holiday bussle brought to you by...mom that has no fucking patience! I hate the holiday's, other then not having family that cares we always have to help deocrate the house >< yes i know! shut up! help my mom out but im always busy when she comes to me for help. i have to put aside everything to make time for her. I hate the holidays for the same reason i hate roaches, they're sickening to look at, live with and they bother the hell out of you. And how is it fair for everyone in this family to be angry..but when i get angry its "unreasonable" or i end up being treated as if im a brat? Everyone here seems to have the right to be human except me... oh well im sure i really am the brat...pah! speaking of hate...just because i make plushies doesnt mean my life revolves around it. there are certain ppl that always ask for updates on plushies that were not even commissioned by them.... "hows the plush biz" "how are your plushies" >_< i swear if i hear that one more time im going to snap! yes yes i know....they only w ant to know but -__- really its just another added pressure to me. I guess i really am just a self centered bitch...heh but who cares. 11/30//02 |
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| ErAsE mE |
| Wow im actually not depressed cheer for me! o_o riiight...anyways i woke up to yet another nightmare >< third one in a row ...this one was much weirder but still related to past dreams...never the less i woke up shaken and...>_> a little uneasy.So i did what a curious minded...weirdo would do >_> i looked it up on the internet. Searching under "meaning of dreams" i found this site where it helped you understand your dreams...^^;; after 30 minutes of reading i came to the conclusion that they knew nothing of what they were speaking of...so i searched again and found a message board on dreams. ^^;; okai my dream was somewhat simple but..it felt really..real (i could smell, touch, taste, and fear and control my actions...which is VERY rare for me) It started out with me in an airplane. I dont know why im there till a few seconds before i jump out, there are two other ppl there with me..and its obviouse im there against my will. The first (and main person) pushes me out of the plane, as im plumiting through the air i can see there is a large body of water...and that is where im heading. The day is clear and very bright, all of a sudden i feel the guy (that pushed me out) reach around me and hold me tightly to him. >< i know i detest this guy, it disgusted me when he even touched me. (he was also in my previous dreams..a real pervert really, grabbing and groaping >< hate him!) i end up pulling away and falling into the water. it then fades and im in my new house (this one) but everything is reversed...as if you held a mirror to my house.(For some reason..since we've moved here i've been dreaming about volcanos. mom would always be awed by it and keera would always be killed or injured by the lava) anyways the volcano was near our back yard...suddenly it bursts out with lava and surounds the house.....my sister starts screaming and my mom and dad (funny cause dad doesnt live with or near us) come out calmly and guide us out of the house to saftely. never the less i wake up shaken and...you all know the rest *points up to the beginning of the post* ^_^;; anyone know what that means? maybe nothing but its weird...i used to have meaninful dreams ( i could predict things with my dreams..or visit a friend in their dreams >> with lots of practice) but now its all nightmares and sorrowfilled dreams..like yesterdays dream..which i wont bore you with. Weird thing is...i had a friend who's friend is a phycic, she pmed me one day at the request of my friend (confusing? XD) and we spoke. she knew things about me and my friend that i thought no one knew. She said that i had picked up an entity from my friends subconsiousness (while i visited him in his dreams) ...she said he was perverted and very "evil" she also told me not to worry, that he should go away on his own...im almost certain that he's still in my subconsiouness...lol i know this all sounds too unreal but..you really have to know my family and their "beliefs" ^^;; no we dont belong to a cult (although there are so many here in oregon ><!) and we dont sacrifice things 9_9....i truely feel as if hes tormenting me on purpose...i know i know him from somewhere but...i cant put my finger on it. His scent and voice are so real...anyways thats my post for today. 12/01/02 x_x *pout*..bday is coming up soon...damn i feel old. |
| Yay im normal today? thats two days in a row...yea anyways uuumm nothing really happened today, dreams..were "normal" o_o;;; holy zombie bob! im living a nightmare >_>;; everythings...so normal today...o_oim going to die arnt i? lol speaking of death... my death day is coming up. weird you say? i think not, ppl have birthdays and they wait for it each year, why not a death day? ppl celebrate them all the time..although its usually not a happy day. i believe i will die at the age of 21 my dreams tell me so. ^^ its weird because this lady in my dream came up to me once (when i was like 7) and told me the three signs to wait for. Every sign would be a warning that the day is coming. funny i laughed it off at first then i saw the first sign. ^^ anyways lets not bore you with that...but it is weird ^^ im actually waiting for my death, i want to die and see how it is. the only part scary about it is...whats after death? maybe our bodies are the first stage death relieves us of this body prison...>_> my church has missionarys...they spend two years spreading the word of god..or something...lol anyways there are two that always come over to our house one i named the Jock and the other ...hes new so i dont have a name for him yet...annyways! they say that when you die you go to a place like heaven and live there peaceful and happy...>_> i ..think thats a load of...well take a guess. my heaven would be simple, dark, quiet (but not totally quiet) and warm...some place i could sleep forever. ^^ i wouldnt have to deal with my relatives 9_9 cause bob knows they're all going to hell...that or i am XD 12/02/02 |
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