1-14-03 - Thoughts for a New Year
1-10-03 - My Life, Up Until Now
12-22-02 - Christmas Thoughts
10-21-02 - Man-Eater
9-22-02 - Last Thoughts for a while
9-19-02 - Questions
9-18-02 - My Pets
9-17-02 - The Mind of the Married Man
9-15-02 - Sunday Musings
9-10-02 - Cheating on My Wife
9-9-02 - How to lose Money W/O Even Trying
9-8-02 - Summer Recap
7-25-02 - Randomly Collected Thoughts
7-23-02 - Rice Standards
7-18-02 - Thursday Musings
7-17-02 - Life Decision
7-16-02 - GAY CLUB Rules
7-15-02 - Cell Phone Roulette
7-12-02 - Friday Thoughts
7-9-02 - Vacation Rules
7-5-02 - Threesome Etiquette
7-2-02 - More Reader's Mail
7-1-02 - The Tubing Trip
ARCHIVES
Everyone who knows me knows that I am a huge movie buff. This past year, I saw 61 movies that had their theatrical release in the United States in 2002. Yes, I was surprised it was that few. Below, I have ranked them from my least favorite to my most favorite. This is not a ranking of cinematic merit...if it were, Road to Perdition would be higher than Van Wilder. Also, I obviously only ranked movies I have seen. I want to see Adaptation, 25th Hour, Bowling for Columbine, Rodger Dodger, NARC, The Hours, and Far From Heaven among many others. I didn't see too many female driven movies, so my list of best actresses is shorter than it otherwise would have been. Also, the list is a little top heavy. I primarily went to movies I thought I'd like, so such stinkers as The New Guy, The Hot Chick, Swept Away, and Pinnochio are nowhere to be found. Let the disagreement begin.
MOVIES I REGRET WATCHING
61. My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Possibly the most overhyped movie ever. I walked out in the middle and I never leave movies early. Insultingly bad acting.
60. The Sweetest Thing - The female attempt at the romantic comedy. Painful to watch.
59. XXX - This ranking may be so low because I saw it the morning after losing a shitload in Reno. Or it could be because is was numbingly stupid.
58. MIB II - Tommy, Will, cash those paychecks.
57. Time Machine - I can see why this sounded like a good idea as a pitch. The ending was strange, quick, and completely forgettable.
56. High Crimes - Ashley Judd plays strong, intelligent, and indignent woman. Stop me if you heard this plot before. Ashley, you are losing you place in my fantasies.
55. Star Wars Episode II - I'm not a hater. I still get chills when the opening credits role. But imagine how good one of these movies could be if they had taken the time to write some dialogue.
54. Mr. Deeds - Adam Sandler is funny...sometimes. This wasn't one of those times.
53. Slackers - After Rushmore, Jason Schwartzmann earned some leeway. Combined with his band Phantom Planet, consider it used.
52. Life or Something Like It - Remember when Ed Burns was an upcoming Hollywood talent after The Brothers McMullen? He's like Hollywood's answer to Ki-Jana Carter, a #1 draft pick that never quite panned out.
51. Austin Powers III: Goldmember - Same jokes, a third time. Only this high because opening sequence was stellar.
50. Hart's War - I like Colin Farell. I'll forgive him for this dull, mildly confusing mess.
49. Big Trouble - This movie wasn't awful, just hit and miss. Some jokes fell so flat that I couldn't rank it higher and feel good about myself in the morning.
48. Orange County - I don't even remember this one.
47. I Spy - I'll watch Owen Wilson in anything, but teaming up for a buddy picture with Eddie Murphy tested it.
46. Importance of Being Earnest - Took a great cast and a witty script and somehow turned into a dull movie.
45. 40 Days and 40 Nights - Yeah, guys like me want to watch a movie about a guy who can't help but get himself laid.
WATCHABLE, BUT NOT RECOMMENDABLE
44. Sweet Home Alabama - Reese Witherspoon made this watchable, barely.
43. Road to Perdition - This movie was beautifully shot and superbly acted (especially Jude Law). But I had a major problem with it, which I'll address in my next column.
42. The Count of Monte Christo - Decent escapist action movie.
42. Comedian - Very uneven documentary about Jerry Seinfeld / Orny Adams. Parts were hilarious, part were numbingly dull. There are probably only 10 human beings on this planet less likable than Orny.
40. Spiderman - Good enough summer popcorn flick. I don't buy into the notion that Tobey McGuire is a great actor, though.
39. Changing Lanes - I have a weird fondness for Ben Affleck. Does that mean I'm gay?
38. Punch-Drunk Love - Strange for the sake of being strange. I was really excited to see this movie but left feeling let down.
37. The Cat's Meow - Decently fun pseudo-true story about murder among the jet set. Eddie Izzard was outstanding as a womanizing Charlie Chaplin.
36. Die Another Day - The opening sequences showed more grit from a Bond flick than I'd ever seen before. Then it reverted back to form.
35. Storytelling - This was basically two short films put together. I saw this on video recently and am still unsure what to think.
34. Enigma - Slow, but engrossing little movie. Worth a rental.
34. Insomnia - Captured a mood well. The storyline and the ending were a little murky though.
32. Minority Report - I loved the movie for the first hour and a half, but it turned its brain off for the last hour. It could have been great.
31. Harvard Man - Sort of trippy movie that is mindlessly fun in parts. Also get the added bonus of watching Ray Allen act. To borrow from Bill Simmons, the scene where Ray brandishes a gun in off of the charts on the Unitentional Comedy Scale.
TOP HALF, NOT QUITE TOP NOTCH
30. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - Visually outstanding. I loved all of the scenes not containing hobbits. Watching Sean Astin act made me squirm.
29. Signs - Great use of mood to build tension and was even very funny in parts. The ending was stupid, though, and therefore, so was the whole premise
28. Ice Age - Watchable in the way that all movies of its genre are.
27. Super Troopers - I can't imagine a better movie to watch in a altered state.
26. 13 Conversations About One Thing - Another small, enjoyable movie. Alan Arkin was great as a boss who fires an employee because he is too happy. We all know those people.
25. The Man from Elysian Fields - A movie about a failed writer who screws up his marriage and becomes a male escort. So there is hope for me yet.
24. The Ring - Tense movie with a few moments that make you jump. Even if it wasn't any good, I could watch Naomi Watts make coffee and still be entertained.
23. Van Wilder - Yes, I know that it is ridiculous that I have this stupid movie rated this highly. But isn't this guy we all wanted to be? At least I did.
22. Tadpole - Fun/ slightly disturbing movie about a way too mature 15 year old in love with his stepmom. A new kind of Mrs. Robinson.
21. The Good Girl - John C. Reilly plays a sad sap better than anyone acting today (also see Chicago).
20. One Hour Photo - This movie actually got to me a little bit. I'm not sure I can say I liked it, but it made me think about life more than anything else I saw this year.
19. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - I'm a geek, but I like Harry Potter. I think I now know why I went to Rice.
THE 18 I REALLY DUG
18. Undercover Brother - This movie better be this high since I lost a job over it. Actually a funny, ballsy comedy that I bet will become a cult classic of sorts
17. Barbershop - No reason for all of the controversy surrounding this movie. Viewed as a "black movie", should just be viewed as a good one.
16. 8 Mile - For the next 30 years, whenever this movie comes on cable, I'll stop what I'm doing and watch if it near the end battle rapping scene. It is that much fun.
15. Jackass - I'm embarassed, but I don't know when I laughed harder at a movie.
14. Gangs of New York - Alternately genius and slop, it is always watchable. Probably will evoke strong emotions of love or hatred, I fall on the love side.
13. The Bourne Identity - Director Doug Liman (Swingers, Go) takes a run of the mill action movie and makes it excellent.
12. Amelie - If you want to rent a movie to watch with a girl that will make you appear to be a sensitive guy, here's your pick.
11. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys - Is it wrong that I have a crush on Jena Malone? Is she 18 yet?
10. Catch Me if You Can - Very harmless, fun movie. Makes me want to grow up to be a con man.
9. Rules of Attraction - Very sharp, stylish, biting movie. If you are conservative by nature avoid this one. If not, check out this gem. Makes James Van der Beeck look like an actor.
8. The Kid Stays in the Picture - I saw this under the most optimal conditions (in San Fran, w/ Robert Evans introducing it live) so it may be ranked artificially high. Still, an engrossing documentary about the King of Cool and the amazing life he lived.
7. Chicago - Fun musical about the nature of celebrity. Great performances too. I know I lose a few masculinity points for having it ranked this high.
6. Y Tu Mama Tambien - Mexican teenage coming of age sex comedy-drama. Captures the almost innocence of one's late teens very well.
5. Gangster No. 1 - Brutally violent movie with stellar performances. Sort of like the British Sopranos, told from Christopher' perspective. Paul Bettany will be huge soon.(Plus the lucky man just married Jennifer Connelly
4. The Last Kiss - Italian relationship comedy-drama that hits all of the right notes. Great understanding of man's duel impulses to settle down and run for freedom. Made me want to escape the ordinary.
3. About Schmidt - Omaha movie, so again I'm biased. Toes the line well between sadness and comedy.Jack Nicholson is scary good in this movie. Moves slow in places, but out of necessity. Make "Dear Ndugu" one of the funniest lines of the year.
2. Igby Goes Down - I absolutely loved this movie, though I realize it may not work for everyone. Have heard it called Catcher in the Rye for this generation, but that isn't quite appropriate. The supporting characters in Igby are richer.
1. About a Boy - I have already talked about my love for this movie ad nauseum. It is the only movie I saw twice in theaters (something I rarely do) and the only one that I bought on DVD. Hugh Grant is perfect in the lead role. This movie is sharp and funny, sweet without being sappy, and surprisingly deep. It came out on video yesterday. Go rent it.
1) "Our Love" - Rhett Miller
2) "Make You Feel That Way" - Blackalicious
3) "Dressed Up Like Nebraska" - Josh Rouse
4) "Geezers Need Excitements" - The Streets
5) "NYC" - Interpol
6) "You Were Right" - Badly Drawn Boy
7) "No One Knows" - Queens of the Stone Age
8) "A Stroke of Genius" - Freelance Hellraiser
9) "The Way We Ball" - Lil' Flip
10) "Yao Ming Song" - Chance McClain.
BEST ACTOR - Jack Nicholson, About Schmidt - Did what he does... acted better than anyone else. Others: Paul Bettany - Gangster No. 1, Stefano Acorsi - The Last Kiss, Hugh Grant - About a Boy, Kieran Culkin - Igby Goes Down
BEST ACTRESS - Renee Zellweger - Chicago. Totally captured her character's flexible morality. Not bad singer and dancer either. Others - Maribel Verdu - Y Tu Mama Tambien, Jennifer Aniston - The Good Girl, Audrey Tattou - Amelie, Stefania Sandrelli - The Last Kiss.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Daniel Day-Lewis, The Gangs of New York - He absolutely owned this movie. Part of what his movie a little uneven is that no one else could measure up. Others: Malcolm McDowell - Gangster No. 1, Mick Jagger - The Man From Elysian Fields, Gael Garcia Barcia - Y Tu Mama Tambien, Alan Arkin - 13 Conversations About One Thing
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Kathy Bates, About Schmidt - Enlivens a movie that was somewhat slow and understated. Also has the scene of the year (If you have seen it, you know what I mean). Others- Clea Duvall - 13 Conversations About One Thing, Catherine Zeta-Jones - Chicago, Toni Colette - About a Boy, Saffron Burrows - Gangster No. 1
BEST DIRECTOR - Peter Jackson, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - I didn't love the movie, but those who love the books did. That says something. The scope and visuals were simply amazing. Others: Alexander Payne - About Schmidt, Peter Care- The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, Doug Liman - The Bourne Identity , Alfonso Cuaron - Y Tu Mama Tambien.
