12-22-02 - Christmas Thoughts
10-21-02 - Man-Eater
9-22-02 - Last Thoughts for a while
9-19-02 - Questions
9-18-02 - My Pets
9-17-02 - The Mind of the Married Man
9-15-02 - Sunday Musings
9-10-02 - Cheating on My Wife
9-9-02 - How to lose Money W/O Even Trying
9-8-02 - Summer Recap
7-25-02 - Randomly Collected Thoughts
7-23-02 - Rice Standards
7-18-02 - Thursday Musings
7-17-02 - Life Decision
7-16-02 - GAY CLUB Rules
7-15-02 - Cell Phone Roulette
7-12-02 - Friday Thoughts
7-9-02 - Vacation Rules
7-5-02 - Threesome Etiquette
7-2-02 - More Reader's Mail
7-1-02 - The Tubing Trip
ARCHIVES
- Hank Devereaux, Jr. The Straight Man by Richard Russo
January 10, 2002
For me, the start of another new year always leads to a bit of introspection. I don't see any reason for 2003 to start off any differently. I started thinking that if I were to cast myself in a movie, what type of character would I be. To paraphrase Trent from Swingers, Would I be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone is "really" rooting for or would I be the guy in the R-rated movie that you weren't quite sure what you thought of? In my life, I can look back and realize that I have worn many different hats and different points in my life. Depending who's life story we're telling, I could be the hero, the crazy best friend, the best friend who is a "good influence, the sympathetic oaf, the conniving schemer, or even the villain. To this point, I have lived a full life, but not one I am unequivocably proud of of. Take a look:
Glenn in Relationships:
- I have fallen in love...twice.
- I have had my heart broken.
- I have broken a heart.
- I have cheated on a girl.
- I have gone after a girl my roommate liked.
- And later dated his younger sister.
- Who subsequently dumped me. Cosmic justice.
- I have been a steadfast ant true boyfriend and realized how good it can feel.
- I have been a lazy, negligent boyfriend and realized how badly I can injure someone.
- I have chased after the girl and failed miserably.
- I have pursued, and captured the girl.
Glenn in Sports
- I have been both the best and worst player on a championship team.
- I have been both the best and worst player on a bad team.
- Being on a championship team is fun, but nothing beats the knowledge that you are the reason that it is a championship team.
- I have hit a game winning three pointer...
- And I have missed two free throws that could have tied the game.
- I have thrown clutch touchdown passes...
- And I have thrown many a drive killing interceptions.
- I have grounded out to end a season and scored a GW goal to win a championship.
- I am an Astros fan, was an Oilers fan when they blew the 32 point lead, and watched my Canucks lose Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
- I was lucky enough to have my team win two NBA championships in the mid 90s.
Glenn in School
- I have been number 1 in my class.
- I have been thiiiis close to academic suspension.
- I have aced standardized tests and failed regular ones.
- I have gotten straight A's...
- And failed a class or 3.
- I have been popular enough to be a finalist for Homecoming King...
- And pathetic enough to be dateless to Prom.
- In 8 semesters of college, I never attended all of my scheduled classes in a week.
- I'm perversely proud of that fact.
- But I now work retail, the same job I had at age 15.
- I guess my dad was right.
Glenn in Life
- I have given my last dollar to a homeless man
- And I have used it to buy a video game.
- I have visited 39 states....
- But have never been to Europe.
- I have a large, loving, somewhat terrifying family.
- I have voted in every election I have been able to.
- I have entertained all of you with this semi-pointless column...
- But, overall, I have underachieved to a spectacular degree.
So far. Ok, this was part self-esteem masturbation, part self image flagellation. Thanks for putting up with it. Read my other columns, they're better.
1) "Our Love" - Rhett Miller
2) "Make You Feel That Way" - Blackalicious
3) "Dressed Up Like Nebraska" - Josh Rouse
4) "Turn the Page" - The Streets
5) "NYC" - Interpol
6) "You Were Right" - Badly Drawn Boy
7) "No One Knows" - Queens of the Stone Age
8) "A Stroke of Genius" - Freelance Hellraiser
9) "The Way We Ball" - Lil' Flip
10) "Yao Ming Song" - Chance McClain.
MVP - Brad Johnson, QB, Tampa Bay. With him, the Bucs are Super Bowl Contenders, w/o him, they'd have missed the playoffs.
Defensive Player of the Year - Derrick Brooks, LB, Tampa Bay. I swear I'm not a Bucs fan, I just watched him shut down Mike Vick a few weeks back. Absolutely dominant
Offensive Rookie - LeCharles Bentley, G, New Orleans. Gotta give some love to the O-line since I played some guard in my high school days. SI's Peter King loves him, that's enough of an endorsement for me. Plus Shockey is a punk.
Defensive Rookie - Ed Reed, S, Baltimore. Helped the Ravens stay competitive in what should have been a painful rebuilding year.
Coach of the Year - Jeff Fisher, Tennessee. His owner publically calls him out after a 1-4 start, but his players rally around him to go 10-1 the rest of the way. A nice sign of respect.
