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| "We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human rights." -- D. Quayle | |
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| home / ask the human / | |
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Fourth Group |
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Ask the Human First Group Bras & Panties Success Free Will Cryptic Message Bagels & Gravity There & Back Medieval Value Big & Hairy Second Group Brave Soul Toilette Paper War & Dance Assessment Fatal Love Sex & Gravity Rhyming Orange Michigander Third Group Domination Picking Things Helen's Secret Sane Advice 42 George Orwell Male Ladybugs Boning the Ham Fourth Group Declaration Colorless Odor Microwaves Cow in Pants Find the Tower Wellspring Wax Paper Other Shoe Watchmen ---------------------------------------- Ah... weird people.
God love 'em.
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ichora - of Troy, Michigan - bespeaks: Hey question guy. Have you ever experimented with an adidas samba shoe?
The Human Responds: Why is it that, when I drop it from a height greater than one and a half feet, it invariably ends up on its sole? Is this a common event or is my house not balanced right? It is a common event, but one not commonly known - if that makes sense. At any rate, don't bother running down to Home Depot to buy floor jacks; your house is most likely well balanced. I work in Troy, Michigan and know firsthand that it is as flat as, well, the farmland it used to be. But to the shoe. Did you know that the common housecat is only a partially domesticated animal? It's true. That's why cats have a sometimes annoying sense of independence that dogs wholly lack. Have you ever picked up a dog and dropped it to the ground? (See disclaimer below.) It is not a pretty sight and the dog invariably does not appreciate it. Cats, as I am sure you are aware, handle such situations with seemingly endless grace. They too will always land on their feet except when the dropping distance is less than one and a half feet. Coincidence? I think not. Therefore it is obvious to me that your Adidas Samba shoes are the reincarnated form that dead cats take. Their blatant independence in Real Life(tm) allows them to ignore some cardinal rules on reincarnation, namely the Thou Shalt Not Possess Any Special Abilities of Thy Former Self rule. Cats - somewhere, sometime you've got to respect them. Disclaimer: The Human in no way supports the malicious picking up and dropping of any living creature against its will. However one never knows when one has had the experience of "accidental dog dropping." Not to be confused with dog droppings.
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 © sklender, 1996 - Until My Death, and then three weeks beyond that. |
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