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| "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." -- O. Wilde | |
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| home / ask the human / | |
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First Group |
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Ask the Human First Group Bras & Panties Success Free Will Cryptic Message Bagels & Gravity There & Back Medieval Value Big & Hairy Second Group Brave Soul Toilette Paper War & Dance Assessment Fatal Love Sex & Gravity Rhyming Orange Michigander Third Group Domination Picking Things Helen's Secret Sane Advice 42 George Orwell Male Ladybugs Boning the Ham Fourth Group Declaration Colorless Odor Microwaves Cow in Pants Find the Tower Wellspring Wax Paper Other Shoe Watchmen ---------------------------------------- Ah... weird people.
God love 'em.
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Bridge Cox - rambles: My scrawl for the wall is a question to all the insane,unrealistic, and subversive thinkers...actually I have a question and a ridiculously provoking thought! Did you ever think about it but, you know how after you butter your bagel and somehow seem to always drop it...it seems to always land butter side down on your very grimy kitchen floor. And you all know how a cat always lands on his/hers paws...so relatively speaking if you tie down a buttered bagel on the back of a cat, buttered side up...what the hell would happen? PERSONALLY I think you would create an anti-gravitational object... How come NASA couldn't think of this..sheesh. OTHER THOUGHT Did you ever wonder where your socks went after you put them in the dryer...I mean you always take a pair of socks out of the washer and throw them in the dryer, but then when the dryer is done you always end up with only one sock of the two you started out with. A dryer must be a port to another dimensionthe backside opens up into this big time traveling thing... now if only we could build a suit that would allow humans to be transported through dryers! Oh reminds me...can anybody out there beat my record of dryer riding of 22 seconds.( go to the nearest 24 hr. laundro-mat and in the weee hours of the night when nobody is there pop in some quarters and get inside..it is actually harder than you think.
The Human Responds: Here's a half-assed attempt to answer some of your queries. A bagel, as the consuming population is concerned, is a single entity. But ask any baker and they'll tell you that each bagel consists of two bagelets, which when combined together form a bagel. Now when you insert a knife down the middle of a bagel you are in a sense separating the twain and allowing them to exist as individuals again. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that when a bagel is dropped on the floor, it always lands on the cut side, i.e., the foot. Instead of wondering why you have bad luck, take a moment and admire the bagelet's ability to land on its feet, regardless of the butter or cream cheese. As for the cat, my family won't let me try an experiment with Walter (the cat). As for the NASA suggestion, they're still busy working on getting a porta-pottie to flush in zero gee, which is very important to fellow astronauts. Don't want no odiferous Baby Ruths floating around the cabin. As for the socks, if they could build a spacesuit out of a washer/dryer combo, the first country that achieves this marvelous Kennedy-esque goal will corner the single sock market. Imagine how much they could charge to return a beloved sock. By the way, I think you're mad - a cross between a regular screwdriver and a phillips - an ovoid in a world of squares and circles - a 48 card deck. And the world's a richer place for it. You should go visit Gazing Ball's Random Psychosis Generator. Have a disease-free week.
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 © sklender, 1996 - Until My Death, and then three weeks beyond that. |
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