It still gets to me
I still get the urges,
Their just as strong,
They invade my dreams,
Never letting me sleep.

I want them to stop,
To leave me alone,
Let me sleep for once,
I don't want to do it again.

I feel so messed up,
My mind feels like it'll explode,
Its as if this will never pass,
All there to haunt me.

To move on is like a dream,
What I did still haunts me,
Forever there as a reminder,
A reminder to what was once done.

I don't want to hurt again,
I don't want to feel like this,
I want it to pass,
I want to be free from it.

Never really knowing
Stamped on,
thrown away,
Made to feel like shit,
Never being good enough,

Once too often abused,
Once too often forgotten,
Nothing more than a memory,
Left here to rot.

I feel so alone,
As if the world is changing,
While I'm stuck here,
Waiting for change to come.

I sometimes wonder,
If life is worth while,
Whether I should be here,
Or whether I should die.

I feel like I'm stuck,
Stuck in a loop with no return,
Looking for an exit,
Only ever finding more.

I wish for once it was simple,
Made to be the way it should be,
All I think of is this,
Never really understanding

To be loved by someone
You want attention,
I can see it in your eyes,
You want people to notice,
People to show they care,
To notice you need help.

You feel trapped in your body,
Your mind wants to leave,
You want to break away,
To feel like your free,
Free from all the heart ache.

Life is like a journey,
Always throwing things at you,
Wondering if its all worth while,
One day you feel the best,
The next your stuck in the dumps.

You feel so alone,
Wanting just one friend,
Someone there to help,
Someone to hear your pleas,
Always looking for an answer.

Pushed into a corner,
Feeling like nothing,
Never being loved,
Wondering so many things,
Never really finding the answers.

Welcome to the real world
Forever I seem hollow,
Searching to fill a void,
Never knowing what to put,
Always looking for an escape route,
Never really knowing the answer.

I want to be alone,
Shut away somewhere,
Never being seem,
Forever in darkness,
Darkness to smother me.

To be smothered,
Smothered by an unknown force,
To know you have no clue,
That you truly are alone,
No one there beside you.

Slowly going insane,
Looking forever for an answer,
To a question unasked,
Wondering its meaning,
Never finding out.

It used to be so simple,
Life seemed so good,
Nothing to bother you,
Everything so safe,
wrapped in a safe cocoon.

Never really caring about things,
Everything given,
One day you wake up,
Find out its all different,
Welcome to the real world.

Forget me... Please

Alone in the world,
So it shall be,
Forever in the world,
Never really caring,
Always getting dragged back.

Life seems but a nightmare,
A never ending nightmare,
Always haunting,
Never leaving,
Staying and embedding always.

You seem to think I care,
That I care too much,
Never thinking of myself,
I hate myself,
But I like you.

Is that a good enough reason?
Is that good enough for you?
Are you happy yet?
I want you to be happy,
And forget about me.

Leave me in the past,
The past where I belong,
Forget my name,
Forget what I did,
Forget everything.

I am nothing but a memory,
The sad, sad memory,
One you hate,
One you want to forget,
Please forget me, quickly.

Will I ever tell you?

I used to like you,
More than you ever knew,
More than anyone knew,
I failed to accept this,
I failed to tell you this.

I just went on in life,
Forgot about it all,
Then I had a dream,
That woke me up,
Woke me up to the reality.

A reality I never understood,
I never did stop liking you,
I just never accepted this,
I didn't want to believe this,
I wanted to forget it.

I felt as if you were something,
Something I wanted,
But was afraid to go after,
Not knowing how you'd react,
Only ever wanting to hear one thing.

I wanted to know how you felt,
If you liked me,
Yet I was afraid to ask,
Will I ever ask you?
Or will I always be afraid?

Just wondering

I feel like I'm trapped,
There is no way of escape,
Always wondering one things,
But thinking another,
Never knowing anything.

I wish there was a way,
To feel safe,
To feel alright,
To feel like I have meaning,
Yet know there isnt one.

I'm jealous of people,
People with great lives,
Lives which beat mine,
Ones that are so simple,
Why is mine so complex?

I wish I knew the answer,
The answer to my life,
To figure it out,
Before its ended,
One way or another.

I feel trapped here,
Never knowing the answer,
Always searching though,
Just not knowing at all,
Wondering everything.

Shunted

Looked down on,
Shunted to the side,
Viewed by most as nothing,
Always stood on,
Trampled to the ground.

For once I felt like something,
Something more than nothing,
You soon crushed that,
You broke me up inside,
Made me feel like nothing.

You wanted me to be like you,
To act like you,
To have a perfect life,
To be a perfect person,
The truth is, this isn't me.

Push me away,
Stop caring for me,
Leave me all alone,
Make me feel so small,
Stop loving me.

I don't want your heart ache,
The broken promises,
The big dark secrets,
Forever hidden from the world,
Never to be told to anyone.

So small I seem

Once we used to be close,
I could tell you anything,
Then you went and changed,
Said things that hurt,
Things I will never forget.

So small I seem,
So insignificant,
Forever searching,
For a hidden meaning.

We took two different paths,
Paths which pushed us apart,
Soon we were but memories,
Happy memories,
Memories I'll never forget.

So small I seem,
So insignificant,
Forever searching,
For a hidden meaning.

I miss the old times,
I miss seeing you,
I never thought it would be this way,
I guess sometimes things change,
Sometimes too quickly.

So small I seem,
So insignificant,
Forever searching,
For a hidden meaning.

Judged before you knew me

Why do you look at me?
Why do you speak of me?
Why do you judge me?
Do you even know me?

You once tried to know me,
Tried to judge me,
But you were all wrong,
You knew nothing.

I suffered so much,
Took so much stick,
Got made to look like a fool,
And for what?

You decided you hated me,
Decided I was a bad person,
That I was always wrong,
That I could never be right.

You think too much,
Think about the wrong things,
Always getting at me,
Starting rumours about me.

For once I wish you'd notice,
Notice the type of person I am,
Who I have become,
And stop with what you say.

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