Darkness seeps into the souls of the living.

Dark thoughts swim inside me,
Never leaving, always staying,
The shadow of the past, creeps by,
Reminds me of what I have done,
Shall I ever be free of the shadow?

I see your face among the shadows,
Laughing and tormenting me like all the others,
How could I be fooled onto liking you?
No love will you ever feel for me?
I�m just a desperate soul, looking for a way out. 

If you saw me on the street would you even say hi?
Or would you just walk on by?
So much is hidden from me,
So much that I do not know,
I want to know, but my heart tells me I will never know. 

I know your face, yet do I really know its you,
My thoughts are about you,
Deep dark thoughts that only I know,
You jest and joke with me,
Will you ever be serious with me? 

Finding a way

Will there ever be a way out?
Shall I ever find the exit?
Why is it so difficult to get away?
I need someone to show me the way out,
But who would want to show me? 

The sorrow seeps into me,
Like to one who has lost a loved one,
Never feeling whole,
Always looking for a way out,
Never accepting the truth around me. 

Will you ever look at me that way?
The way you look at other girls,
Or will I always just be the one by your side,
Never more than a good friend,
Just the one who is there to help. 

I look for the rising sun,
To look upon this great land,
To know that I am only a small part of it,
To know that I am not alone,
There will always be a way out. 

Meaning

I look out onto the sea,
To see how small I am,
How little my life affects the land,
But in my heart it means more to me,
I linger here hoping to find the answers. 

Will I ever find the answers?
Do my questions ever matter?
Will you even look at me?
Do I even really exist?
Does the world really need me? 

There is a lot I do not know,
A lot I want to know,
But my soul tells me no,
I must live with what I have,
And love all that I care about. 

The one question I want answering,
I know will never be answered,
For I look in all the wrong places for it,
Only forgotten traces where it once was,
I see all that I want to as I go. 

All that is except the one thing I want to see,
Shall my eyes ever witness it?
Will my heart ever feel it?
One way or another I shall find out,
All but the meaning of my life.

Thoughts

So many thoughts swimming through my mind,
Which do I conquer first?
Can I conquer them all?
Are there answers to them all?
Some I shall just forget. 

Others will linger inside me forever,
Never telling me the answer,
Just there to haunt me,
To tangle with my emotions,
To keep me from knowing. 

I sense this is the way it will be,
Me never knowing my own thoughts,
Never understanding things,
Just there through sorrow,
Sorrow I must feel. 

The one remaining thought,
Is that I hold the most dear,
The thought of you,
The way your always there,
The way you help me. 

My good thoughts keep me going,
I know I shall live through this,
The thoughts I love are still close,
They shall never leave me,
I shall keep them forever. 

Times need to change

Everyday I see the same faces,
Never changing always the same,
I want to break free from this,
To be on my own,
To live my own life.

I want to meet new people,
I want to see new places,
To see different faces,
Leave the same faces behind,
Be new born and alone. 

In a place I can call my own,
With no one there to tell me what to do,
Me in charge of my own life,
No chains holding me down,
No way to stop me. 

Breathe on the fresh air,
The air of hope and dreams,
The air of being a new person,
Just letting go of everything,
And moving on in life. 

May be hard at first,
But it must be done,
I need to move on,
I need to be free,
I need a new life to start again. 

Sleep

Goodbye cruel, unwanting world,
I hope you change your ways,
Give hope and joy to people,
Open the windows of opportunities,
Let in the air of the new. 

Stuck behind the bars,
Looking out onto the free land,
Wishing and wanting to join it,
My chains hold me back,
Telling me I shall never leave. 

Will my eyes ever close?
Will I ever get to go to the land of nod?
Shall I ever have a dream?
Will I ever wake up in a cold sweat?
Shall I ever see you face. 

Shadows creep past me,
Never stop always moving,
I see the light come and fill the room,
Great another night of sleeplessness,
Will I ever sleep again?

My body craves that rest,
My brain wants no rest,
A battle between the two,
Where the brain always wins,
And my body goes on suffering. 

To cut

Give me a knife, a blade, anything,
Let me stick it hard in to me,
Let me pull it out and look,
The blood red stains on it,
I know they belong to me. 

I lift the object up high,
Stab it hard into my chest,
Watch the red drip out,
Stain the pure white sheets,
A crimson red from now on. 

Take this object away from me,
Hide it and not wash it,
Let my blood stay on it,
As a reminder of my ways,
To show you not to do as I did. 

When will I next get a sharp object?
I need more wounds in me,
I need to feel pain again,
Pain to get rid of my sorrow,
To let me be free. 

Let the crimson red flow out,
Over the covers and to the floor,
Leave me here to lie forever,
In a puddle that I can call my own,
The puddle of my life. 

Regret

A tear rolls down my face,
Splashing to the ground,
Right next to my body,
Lying so still and lifeless. 

Why was I so stupid?
I should�ve left the knife alone,
Left it in the drawer,
Where it belonged. 

Crimson red are my clothes,
White they once were,
Not that long ago,
Before I got that wound. 

I see everyone around suffering,
All because of me,
Just as I thought I might be happy,
I�m really more upset. 

I can�t escape from this,
I�m trapped here to watch,
To watch what I have done,
To all those innocent people. 

Hope

The sun rises, as I sit here and watch,
It makes me feel alive,
As if I�m born new again,
I breathe in the fresh morning air,
The dawn of a new day,
Full of new hopes and dreams. 

I go down to watch the sea,
I hear the bird�s music,
Alive in me, I feel awake,
I�m fully refreshed,
The animals play joyfully,
Frolicking in the pure white sand. 

This place reminds me of a dream,
One I dreamt about years ago,
Back when I was young,
When I was free and innocent,
Before you polluted my mind,
Before I started to be upset. 

You said you�d bring me here one day,
I guess that was another of your lies,
Here I am enjoying this all alone,
So much for that big promise,
Just like always you backed out,
You left me to come all alone.

  Good thing I enjoy this place!

Smile once in a while

Smiling faces all around me,
Well all but the one face smiles,
You refuse to smile,
But you really need to smile.

You just need that one thing,
The thing you can smile about all day,
I smile all day with the thought of you,
Not that you'd think about me.

Smile and forget your worries,
Breathe in the new fresh air,
Taste the smell of happiness,
Be full of joy once more.

Think back to when you used to smile,
smile about anything at all,
Smiling and laughing at stupid ness,
Just to pass the time.

Smile and be happy,
You never know when your day of reckoning will come,
When your life will end,
When you will not be able to smile.

So just smile once in a while.

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