Feel the magnetism between your hands

Feel the warm and cool spots above a friend’s body

Go to a quiet spot, think of a tone. Vocalize it, explore it then let it go back to spirit world

Vocalize a tone, visualize colors and smells that go with it

Visualize your belly as a balloon. Fill it by thrusting it out while inhaling quickly in a short gasp.

Fill your belly, stick it out, fill your chest then fill your throat. Don’t let your shoulders move while breathing. When full, release very slowly. Use sound when releasing.

Visualize the “fountain” of colors; tone each chakra sound as the corresponding color flows in through each chakra point.

Allow voice to rise through each chakral tone, observing if voice gets “stuck” where you send healing to that area with a pulsing tone.

Lie down, breathe comfortably. Allow a vowel sound, feel the matching body part, record it. After a week or so, listen to all the recorded tones. The one most used is the personal “comfort” tone.

Group sonic exercise: group circle, eyes closed. Breathe. Each take turns being visualized by everyone else who sing a long tone to that person, then each sings the tone that person’s singing. Tone exchange with everyone in the circle.

Pluck a note on the guitar. Press finger exactly halfway on the string. Try one third string length. Try half of half. . .

Feel your tongue when you say each vowel “Ooo-Oh-Aw-Ah-Eh-Ih-Eee-Ng” do it without moving the lips, notice how the tongue goes. Listen to the overtones, the harmonies.

There’s a Native american prophecy about 144 000 “sun dance enlightened teachers” will totally awaken in their dream-mind bodies. They are the “major force of the light to help the rest of humanity to dance their dream awake” . . . the harmonic convergence August 17 1987

twilight language: singing non-words to spontaneous melody

fear: shrinks away and makes others shrink away
love: expands towards and wants others to come over too

The seven seals of the seven angels with the seven vials of judgement. . . seven chakras. The thoughts I see as flowers opening, are they chakras? They are like flowers and they open or close depending on what one thinks.

Cymatics: vibrations giving shape. The pattern of sand on a vibrating table.
“First came the Word” the Word is atomic vibration.
The God and the Goddess sang the world into creation.
The alchemy of coming together and ideas of cellular transformation
atomic resonance
songs of reality
tones of truth
sing the songs of Creation.

What I write and what I feel. . . it’s not even accurate pictures. . . this feeling. . . this thing about (alchemy of the soul?) Song and Music having to do with our physical reality, the very cohesion between atoms. This elusive idea that alchemists pursued. . . vibrations.

I must find or build a seven string lyre.

some of us wonder
where all the garbage came from
and where will it go?

Cultural inundation of corporate greed.
Post-war boom and propaganded convenience.
Psyches get bombarded by new! Improved! Plastic throwaway items
disposable futures with accumulated prices.

The question is not how much can you consume but how less can you throw away?

The war should be on garbage, not drugs.

Environ: physical area surrounding oneself.
Mental: pertaining to thoughts.
Environ (world)
Mental (mind)
An environ-mentalist is one whose mind contains their world. Everyone has their version of the world within their mind, doesn’t that make everyone in the world an environ-mentalist?
How about a “world-minder”?
“what’cha doin’?”
“I’m minding the world”
Isn’t that being a steward of the Earth? Didn’t God say that in the Bible?

When I was a child, I demonstrated to my parents how english people spoke with their mouths shaped like squares: “aye - aye - aye - aye” and how french people spoke with their mouths round: “owowowowo” Britain is the land of “angles” like the angles of a square. I remember my dad commenting how it would take a genius to make a circle/square successfully.

Mental picture I got from my cat when I held her after she got scared by a burning log falling in the fireplace: burning, screaming, writhing. . . Being pushed down by a metal bar, kept within the flames, held until the cries subsided.
so sad, so lost, so unloved. . . Her spirit drifted up, along with the rancid smoke of her twisted burned body.

The cat doesn’t know why or what that meant. . . it was an injustice done to her, that’s all she knows; there were no other cats, just her. None of the other cats from the farmyard were getting burned along with her, where were they? Why are the humans doing this? And maybe the same thing happened to my soul in a previous incarnation; I was picked out of many to be burned and it was so unfair. . . no one spoke up for me. As a human, I knew why I was executed, for witchcraft, of course.
Cats don’t know about sins and saving souls, they just know about predator things.

We are born as perfect incarnations of God; our culture is designed to defy that order, it pressures one to ignore one’s internal dialogue with Source. Humans are then forced to strive for what they once had. Some spend their whole lifetime trying to return to the Source.
Now, we are coming to the Source and the Source is coming to us.
The synthesis of enlightenment - God (Spirit) + Ego (flesh)
Logos
The divine made manifest billions of times over, simultaneously.

I see it happen and know it’s happening and want to have a part in shaping. . . I do have a part but it hasn’t come yet. . . I feel like I’m late.

Heaven on Earth happens when everyone achieves their potential and is enlightened and fulfilled.

This book is almost over so I’ ll prattle. What about? I don’t know. The bird tribe I’ ve been reminded by a book I found at a used book store. Time goes so slow, I feel impatient. Come on, ideas, come out come out wherever you are. . . I write so much slower than I think and that’s why sometimes it’s hard to think of something to write. A word processor goes fast after mastering the keyboard.
The bird tribe, I need other members. My goal: to help remind other people of their divinity (in divine duality), to be part of a cultural revitalization.
Culture involves imagery, music, people’s personal passions.
Revitalization involves Christianity accepting diversity of beholding.
Behold, the Truth is upon all.
Why would I be accused of witchery? I actually don’t get to do much pagan stuff. Externally you could see me consulting my Tarot once in a blue moon and divining random words out of the dictionary. I do spiritual and fantasy artwork; I preserve little birds and wings of larger ones that I find along my walks. I am unemployed and keep busy reading and writing. At this present time I have green dye in my hair.
But internally, I pray to the Great Mother and think of Pan, lord of Nature. Internally, I want to be part of exquisite rituals that transport people together to the mystical realm. . .

The Great Mother and the Great Father
          (Eve)           (Adam)
came from the One, the Source of all being.
All life came from this Earth which came from the Sun
which came from the dust of an ancient star.
The first mothers and fathers
          (Eve)           (Adam)
birthed two separate tribes.
          (Cain and Abel)
two tribes different yet the same.
One tribe hunted and warred
          (Cain)
one tribe farmed and loved.
          (Abel)
the warrior Cain tribe
          (Modern humans)
caused the extinction of the peaceful Abel tribe
          (Cro-magnon)

I want to write something. Why? Why do you have to write? So I could know something. Sometimes I feel abandoned. Not by my physical family but by my “star” family. I feel alone, which makes me feel psychotic.
Maybe the reason why I have to write is so that some who read it will understand where I’ m from and others realize that they too, are not alone in their “psychosis.”
The technical meaning of psychotic is one who does not conform at all to any current cultural norms.
Of course, my outward appearance doesn’t signal any illness, but my internal landscape does not match what is around me.
Where was it that I read about someone in a loony bin envying the chronic patients because they had no self-consciousness or sense of embarrassment? they did whatever they wanted because they were ka-ray-zy.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ ll ever by that happy, self-sufficient person who’s found her niche.
Maybe I don’t do. . .
Don’t do what? I dunno.

I’ m tired of being told that I must change.
That the way I appear to them does not conform to their ideal of an employee.
The way I want to be does not conform to their sense of properties and values.
Give me welfare so I can pursue artistic and intellectual endeavors. . .
Are you crazy? They say.

It’s up to them to determine whether I’ m crazy, not me.
They are trained to recognize the symptoms of alcoholism, body mutilation, over-dosing and crime; not the cause of lack of purpose and reverence, no sense of belonging. . .
Big corporate business is the cause of poverty, not just money poor but spiritual poverty.
Mental illness is caused by a culture imbalanced.

We get driven crazy by this wrong that needs to be righted.

• - death and its role
• - how our culture removed death from our daily lives.
• - we do not experience signs of physical death very often.

These thoughts led to this one:
“wild” humans	and	“domesticated” humans
hunt, farm, self-sufficient		jobs, store, dependent on system

Long ago, our “wild” ancestors lived with death everyday because that’s how they got their food. Death was a part of life, it was not such a surprise to them.
These days, most people never deal with death until their parents die. We never have to kill our food. Having removed the physicality of death from our daily lives, our culture percolates with nightmares and paranoias.
So what are you saying, we need more death?
We need more life-death, not death-death.
Life-death: the natural cycle of Life (hunting, harvesting)
Death-death: unnatural phenomena (tv, movies, video, news, rapists, murderers)
“death-death” occurs when the natural “life-death” is ignored and suppressed.

On a personal note, this summer of ‘98 has had a lot of death signs. Our kitty cat dying, on the same day a young jogger got killed instantly on the highway. A week earlier we found two dead plovers by our door. Last weekend Shari Lewis died, that night the news showed the Nisgaa’ treaty signing, then that very night a Nisgaa’ family lost two members in a boat-plane crash.
It was too sad by then, I broke down.
Today a cat brought in a dead flycatcher, and we found a dead shrew outside.
What are the death signs for?
The wheel of time inexorably turns toward its mark.
In the event of an unscheduled departure, I want my writings and sketches published together.

I feel strange and moody
happy enough to sing
and so angry I yell
and shed tears for the sadness . . .
All in one day.

Sharing my husband with our girlfriend didn’t do this before . . . I didn’t think it would bother me this time either . . . it feels like it changed after she told me of her decision concerning her sexual orientation, that she does like men and is very horny for them . . . there’s a part of me that raised hackles, there’s also a part that felt let down.
I don’t think I’m being selfish or jealous; I think I’m saving my Self.
And my best friend’s.
The first time we did it, we welcomed her into our most sacred bond, when she needed friendship and support while she explored her sexuality . . . Sacred Trust.
This last time was different. We are not the ones to fulfill her present need, and she knew that too.
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