THE RHYTHM, THE RIPPLE, THE CYCLE

Branching
• bronchial tubes
• veins
• trees
• lightning
• rivers
• roads
• plumbing
• family trees

Spirals
• galaxies
• whirlpools
• tornados
• flower petals
• seashells

The trip started around the idea of death; my gramma dying, and the "Eternal Champions" fight-to-the-death video game and the music "You�re Just Another Victim". I felt hypersensitive and went upstairs. My brother-in-law and our roommate soon joined me leaving my husband and a friend downstairs to play the video game. We sat at the kitchen table talking when I looked out the window and saw a goofy-looking fancy breed little dog with flowing hair walk to the middle of the street and as I watched it, someone exclaimed really fast: "wouldn�t it be weird if it got run over right now as we watched?" As soon as that was said, it stopped right in the middle of the street, looked frantically around itself and suddenly looked lost and confused. Cars were accumulating, headlights on the poor creature and honking to make it move. My husband went out to call it but as soon as he made a kissing sound the dog slingshotted in the opposite direction.
Weird.
Traffic resumed its pace and he came back in. I pulled out my sketch book and tried to draw the patterns I kept seeing. I drew spirals like the nautilus shell. I mentioned I had an ancestral trip last time I took acid and my partner said: "clan memories" and I said to that: "clandestine".
We all said to that: "what?" . . . clan-destiny?
We looked up the word clandestine: held in or conducted with secrecy.
Clan - Destiny -- the Destiny of the Clans
The Destiny of the Clans was/is to be held in secrecy; a self-delusion, an illusion.
(everything we know is an illusion) An idea from a couple thousand years ago became an illusion now.
Our roommate said, "howling at the moon" I don�t remember why he said that but that clicked something.
The eye of the wolf being the same as the moon.
A projection of Creative energy.
I opened the dictionary at random and my eye fell on enigma: from greek ainigma: to speak in riddles, something obscure, hard to understand, puzzle.
The destiny of the clans is a never ending puzzle, it�s like a long time ago, someone knew the future would link up with the past in order for humans to evolve further.
Words and what they really mean and where they come from can help us with future events.
I drew an eye looking at a moon. Then a line that separates them. This line symbolized the force that keeps us doing the day-to-day business.
The word p/matriarchy; the arch that keeps us from floating away into oblivious insanity.

You get a cross when you think of
the creative flow Heaven "This is what we want" Left side of brain Intuition	The logical Earth "This is what we need" Right side of brain Formal education

Keep it in balance and you can do things, maybe anything.
From that we also got the duality idea of give and take: yin / yang. We take from the material world (lodging, food, basics) in order to survive and, in turn, we �give� or �send� ideas; we play music, we dance, we write stories, we study and record our findings, we draw. And from what we send we take . . . although it wasn�t quite clear how the transition went between the spirit and material. Create and consume.
Art, language and communication are creation.
Food we eat, wood we burn, fibre we spin are consummation.

• School ripoff
• Home rip off
• Sex rip off
• Money rip off

Considering the dream, I woke up feeling pretty good, because my son came in from his room with a smile. We had breakfast then we went outside to sit in the sun with our roommates from downstairs. My son didn�t want the rest of his egg sandwich so he left it on his plate where we sat to eat. My roommate went back in and I started to build a little garden fence out of crisscrossing sticks. While I was standing still, thinking of where to put the next stick, I saw movement so I turned to look and a crow flew up to the tree above. I went over and placed the plate a little farther away from my activities so it can eat in peace. He never flew back down though, just sat there in the tree. I finished the fence then me and my son headed out to meet our friend at the park.
After we met up, we walked down to the bank, she with her dog, me with my son. As we walked back, we stopped for a cappuccino and pizza. I asked my friend if she�d like to go halfers on a bottle of wine. We don�t drink very often. I came back with the bottle and we started walking home, when I saw a large woman walking the opposite way. Two thoughts popped in my head, one was, "she looks like Jeannie" and the other was, "there�s an Earth Goddess". She walked past us, then a few seconds later She came up behind us and asked as She motioned to my shirt, which was one of my airbrushed representations of the goddess Diana, "Are you really Diana?". I replied after a short puzzled pause, "Well, sure, but aren�t we all?" She seemed to find that slightly amusing. She went on about being on a Medecine Walk and asked me if there was a party I knew of, "because it�s Earth day and it�s my birthday".
I liked her so I invited her over not guaranteeing a party however because we hadn�t planned one. She introduced us to her two husbands when we got home then She got really heavy . . . if Her body was as light as a hummingbird, She still would have been as heavy . . . about the responsibilities of the Witches and the wishes of the Goddess.
She ordered her male partners to disappear from the room and all other males too, including my friend�s male dog. She started saying that I was the Diana she needed to find. My friend was the Isis to help protect the new Diana. We were to do rituals. We were to initiate Isis so she can have the power to purify my appointed rings, so she can cast a spell of healing for the Earth. She was describing the work to be done as each of us ingested a small amount of LSD before anything was started which was early evening.
She asked me for a purple dress for Isis; I just happened to have bought one for cheap less than a month before and hadn�t worn it yet.
She asked for a white dress for Diana; I had bought one, for cheap, again, three years before and never had a reason to wear it.
She asked for red wine and we had bought a bottle that day which we don�t usually do.
We had a mirror on the floor, leaning against the wall, salt and candle, the wine and a long, flat piece of amethyst geode.
We chanted Ra and Mu, the Great Goddess brought Isis into my friend, directed us to cast a spell, repelling the curses that were lingering around one of Her partners, whom She temporarily invited back in the room. Isis drew a protective circle of salt around me, for I had inherited the old Diana�s rings. Isis was supposed to draw a pentagram in front of the mirror, but it ended up looking like a bow tie. The Great Goddess called that the symbol of eternity and said to leave it there and draw through that the symbol of infinity, the figure eight. Then we helped her through the pentagram lines. The salt pictures were done before the casting of the spells. Isis had to purify the Diana rings in salted wine before I was allowed to even touch them.
Isis married the Great Goddess to her de-cursed partner and just then my own husband comes home from visiting another goddess (Jane Jones and her tiger) who was acquainted with his friend from Seattle, who was visiting us. The Great Goddess said Isis could marry anyone else so she married me and my husband in a brief ceremony of eternal and infinite love and devotion. We shared a taste of wine then the men were ordered out again. There was another spell to perform of getting rid of whatever harms the planet. We did a few more chants then the Great Goddess started winding down.
Whew!
By then it was past midnight and we were just then feeling the acid�s effects when we realized that there was a party at my house after all, it was downstairs and by the time we were done, some of the party was outside and I was relieved that I had built that little fence around our little garden that morning, so long ago, it seemed. The strange thing about it was most of the party consisted of people we never seen before.
When we cleaned up our props, I noticed that my piece of amethyst was broken in three pieces. So we divided them between us, Great Goddess, Diana and Isis.

Simon kept rubbing against me and making like he wants to have sex. I wanted to too, but I wanted to ask my husband first and I told him so. We get to him who didn�t mind then the dream dissolved.

My mom phoned to tell us that our son was dying at her house. We were in shock. She brought him over. He was dying from sick lungs because, in real life, everyone (except us) smokes cigarettes around him.

I was at a "wicca 101" class, someone said the name of some spirit (I don't remember) and a current of electric wind went through the room; it went through my chest, my body convulsed and I exhaled smoke. I felt really weird and it wasn�t a good feeling.

I woke up into another dream, thinking that the jolt was supposed to get me up. I got up from a couch in a living room in Seattle. The apartment was in a dirty industrial area. I walked in the room where everyone was, still puzzling over my last "dream" when a blond woman turned to me and said angrily, "Why do you keep looking at me?" I wasn�t, though.
We eventually went outside where it was dump-like; brown and grey piles of rubbish were scattered and mounded everywhere. One pile had a wriggling form on it, it was a decrepit squirrel slowly crawling over a near dead rabbit which was on top of a fully dead rat. As I approached to see better, a dog from under the three animals growled really viciously. The thought of having the skulls of those dead critters was short lived.

In the apartment where I "woke up" was a room with a menagerie of sorts; there was a big glass case towards which you point a remote control-looking thing and a lizard-looking thing freaks out in a frantic dance.

The phone rang and it was Simon; he was headed over and everyone in the room started to confer about which directions are best, all I knew was that we were close to Pike Place Market. I was about to tell him on the phone to just meet me there when he invited us over to his place instead. Before we left, I went back in the menagerie room and found a large clam shell; I opened it, pointed the remote control-looking thing and a white tubular body with a set of tentacles at each end started floating in the clam shell tank. It was a graceful creature that danced sinuously. I picked up some little shells that resembled birds with their wings outstretched, they were apparently found within another shell. Then I woke up for real.

Prostituting on the soul strip
• panhandling (doing nothing)
• working meaningless jobs (doing nothing)
• giving the power to government officials instead of taking responsibility and knowing of the inner power (doing nothing)

The word "power" conjures up lightning bolts and bears and bisons and big winds. Anger has a lot of power that is very hard to control. Love has the same power but is easy to control, because you don�t have to control it, it just is.
Love.
To finally figure out what love really is.
It�s creation.
It reaches out and grows, like weeds in a vacant lot; grass growing through cracks in the cement. Nature pervades anything; no matter how technological and grey and hard things are, something green and growing will always find a place to grow.
Our consciousnesses are attached like a web, even reaching into far space to universal kin.
There is so much fear in our society, in our world. We have to teach our fellows how to trust themselves and not fear the unknown. Like the first time you ride a two-wheeler bike, it�s scary at first but once you do it, you never forget how to ride a bike. It�s not the same anymore; the fear is gone and is replaced by knowledge. Know-ledge. What ledge did you fall off of? The fear ledge, I jumped off and . . . nothing happened! Ha ha ha! Joke�s on you! You thought something terrible was gonna happen when you took that blind leap, but the opposite happened and you�re in better shape than before.
Oh . . . this is bliss to Know without the previous restrictions. I�m finally loving my self; before, I couldn�t figure out how loving yourself wouldn�t involve a certain amount of conceit. Now I know that conceit is a product of lies, self delusions and loss of control. I was always the opposite, �oh, shitty little me� That�s handing power over too; letting people screw me up because I didn�t know how to verbalize in a language that people could understand.
I always knew the Truth, but how to explain it is quite another thing. How do you explain the Truth without sounding like a raving lunatic?
The need to explain the Truth and the Mysteries comes from the need to help people remember. We have to help everyone remember who they are in the first place.
You are not what people around you think you are until you�re crystal clear about what you�re about.
Your intent.
What you really want to do . . .
I don�t want to sound self congratulatory but I�ve made major progress. We all have.
We went to the place where everything happens.
All space is here.
All time is now.

The tapestry of being
Connecting consciousness
We share memories with other species.

Heaven	Positive	Light	Yang	Summer
Hell	Negative	Dark	Yin	Winter
The spirit coalescing into the concentrated point of emerging form, and that pattern repeating infinitely, like fractals.

Power moves in a doughnut shape, or a mushroom shape. It circulates from the middle, up and over and out, then down to where it goes back in the middle to go back out again.

I feel like an astrophysicist and me and my friends figured it out together because we all remember.
All you have to do is remember.
I�m scared to use this power, it�s like holding a huge gun but since I don�t want to hurt anything in the first place then nothing would get hurt.
But still it frightens me.
I�m still on that ledge, looking into the abyss. I know that once I jump I�ll never be the same again. I don�t want to jump until someone�s who�s jumped before can join me.
I�m so close.
If I go alone, I might not recognize which world/perception I end up in, and it would suck because I would never see my friends and my familiar physical world again. They would see my body, but that�s all it would be, or it would get occupied by another entity like a squatter in an abandoned house.
This feeling I�m feeling is the feeling of the Fountain of Youth. Now I know what to do when I die.
This knowledge is dizzying. Now I see why some people just go on tilt when revealed some of the Mysteries, why they get put away because they ceased to function as "normal" human beings.
It�s a matter of describing this Truth without putting your own influence. It's a matter of making people realize that artists of any kind are the messengers, the angels blowing their trumpets!

We all feel it, this common bond. There are others though, who do not feel that bond and feel completely alien to us; they might not be alien to each other but there�s no connection between us and them.

An illustration of the weave of Consciousness / Matter / Spirit
the mechanics of Love / Growth / Light
The mechanics of existence.
The Tree of Life concept.
The roots join up to the branches.
This is how Power moves.

Autism is sensory overload, a channel that is too open for a feeble human mind to handle all the information it picks up. So it goes tilt. No wonder I�ve always been curious about how a machine can just burn out and "forget" how to work because it got too much power. People work the same way it seems.
I feel my world tilting sideways; I really have to find the elder to guide me through this infinite realm.

I used to be a gypsy in Southern Europe; I loved a man from the North. We recognized each other, my rat was guiding me to him.

I love everything. Humans have always taken hallucinogens in order to see and remember the First Intention.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

• - Thought -
• - Creation -
• - Thought is creation -
• - to think is to be akin to God -

If you think of something really cool, share it! If you share your cool theories then other people will share their own cool theories and the growth is growing. A lot of people are so cool but they�re afraid to express it.
It used to be that only the chosen few could know of these Mysteries because others weren�t capable of even conceiving of such vastness; now there�s so many "chosen few" that everyone has to be shown. The human race is ready to know all this. The evolution has come to a decision time, should we keep fearing and doing what someone else wants us to do or should we learn to trust ourselves and do what we want to do?

The creative force.

Me and my son were swimming at someone�s apartment in Seattle. The apartment belonged to a lesbian couple but they weren�t around. After the swim there was a native celebration that was quite big with drumming and chanting. As I was walking towards it, a girl noticed that I didn�t have a rattle and told me that I needed one to get in. I realized everyone else was nicely dressed and earlier had stood looking at a beautiful flowing white dress but didn�t try it on and stayed in my dingy T-shirt and shorts. I went into a tent with just my thoughts and they were of how to make a rattle. I had no materials and thought of finding a gourd of the right size and letting it dry out. Then I woke up.

I found bird wings on the side of the highway. One set were beige and brown spotted and the two smaller sets were black like crows. I had the impression that they were left there to be found.

Last night we watched a new tv show that involved a doctor helping the Cheyenne a hundred years ago.
This morning I walked to my friends place; a car alarm went off just as I walked by to which my head spun and my gaze fell on the wailing trucks name, Cheyenne.
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