LET'S TALK ABOUT
Sexuality, sexual health, and everything you need to know about your body in case you slept through health class.
DID YA KNOW!!!!! More than 12 million cases of sexually transmitted diseases are reported each year in the United States. Teenagers have the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases of any age group. And the USA has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the western world!
Learn how to protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy, from STDs and find honest answers to sexual F.A.Q.'s.
1 
What is the
difference between taking birth control pills and getting the birth control
shot?
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65. What is the function of pubic hair?
ANSWERS
1. What is the difference between taking birth control pills and getting the birth control shot?
A. Birth control pills need to be taken every day in order to prevent pregnancy. The pill is basically out of your system within 24 hours and that is why it is important to take it every day & at the same time each day. The birth control shot (Depo-Provera) is given every 3 months in order to prevent pregnancy. Most women who take birth control pills will get their periods every 28 days. Most women who get the shot will stop having periods after they have been getting the shot for a while. Both the pills and the shot may cause a slight weight gain (3-5 pounds). It is important to see your health care provider and ask for help in selecting which method of birth control is best for you. ASK lots of questions if you have them. Ask about the safety of Depo-Provera too. Remember that condoms & spermicide are still necessary in order to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
2. All of my friends have started having their periods before me, what should I do? I'm 14.
A. Remember, everyone reaches puberty at a different age. Also, everyone goes through puberty at a different pace. Some fast, some slowly. If you are concerned that you are delayed in the start of menstruation ask your health care provider. When you go to that person for a physical examination, he or she should tell you at the end of the exam if everything seems to be growing and developing okay. If he or she does not, go ahead and ask! Any health care provider that is working with teenagers understands these concerns.
If you're concerned about not having your period, ask your mom how old she was when she got her first period. Girls who get their first period (also called menarche, pronounced: men-ark-EE) later than average (about 12 1/2) often find that their mothers may have gone through puberty later than average also. * Update: There is now a ' Puberty Stage Chart' on the page after 'Puberty'.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
3. Can I swim when I have my period?
A. Sure, use a tampon. If you don't know how to use one there are very good instruction on the info sheet inside all boxes. You should not be able to feel it if it is inserted correctly. See vagina for help with inserting a tampon for the first time.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
4. What do I do if I miss taking a birth control pill?
A. Okay, this is how it goes. If you miss 1 pill, take 2 the next day. If you miss 2 pills take 3 the next day. If you miss more than that, don't take any, call your health care provider and always make sure to use condoms and spermicide as backup protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases since you are no longer protected from pregnancy by the pill.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
5. What happens to pubic hair after you shave it off? Will this be permanent or will it grow back? If it does grow back, would it become hairier than before?
A. I get asked this question A LOT! Shaving your pubic hair is not a good idea, but it is not permanent. As the hair starts to grow back it will be very itchy and uncomfortable. If you only shave once, your hair usually grows as it was before. While shaving any body part may seem to increase hair growth, which may appear more coarse, the number of hair follicles actually stays the same. (What may have appeared to be increased hair growth when someone was maturing and beginning to shave was not due to shaving, but to normal growth and development). So please stop shaving your pubic hair. Yes, you can shave under your arms all you want.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
6. Is It okay if my breasts are different sizes?
A. Yes. It's normal and common to have breasts of different sizes. You might feel like you're alone when you look in the mirror and you realize that your breasts are different sizes, but this is very normal.
Breasts come in many varieties - large, small, medium, flat, round, full - so you shouldn't freak out just because yours don't look exactly like the ones you see at the movies. Every woman is different and no two breasts are exactly the same. For more, see Breasts - Questions and Answers.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
7. My left testicle hangs lower than my right one, is this normal?
A. Yes. For more, see TSE, Testicular Self-exams.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
8. Can I get pregnant if I have sex during my period?
A. YES! A lot of people think that if a woman has sex during her period, she can't get pregnant. Even though this is a common belief, you CAN get pregnant while you are bleeding. Sometimes ovulation can occur before the bleeding from your period has stopped, or it may occur within a few days after your period is over. In both cases, having sex before your period is finished can result in pregnancy. Having unprotected sex at any time, including when you're menstruating, is very risky. Along with the risk of becoming pregnant, there is also a risk of getting an STD.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
9. What is an erection?
A. An erection is a hardening of the penis that occurs when tubes in the penile tissues fill up with blood. Usually, an erection causes the penis to enlarge and stand away from the body. Erections away on their own or after ejaculation -- the release of semen through the urethra, the small hole at the tip of the penis.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
10. Is It normal to get erections during the day?
A. Yes. Erections are a perfectly normal function of the male body, especially in guys who are going through puberty. Many erections are caused by sexual arousal, such as watching a sexy movie or from sexual fantasizing. Many seem to happen for no reason at all. If you've gotten an erection during a weird or embarrassing situation -- like in the middle of a really boring history class -- there's no reason to worry that something is wrong with you. Your body is just acting naturally for a guy your age.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
11. Can masturbating hurt me?
A. No, not really. You might get sore if you are masturbating a lot. If you feel sore from masturbating too much, than that is too much for you.
Some people engage in a thing called auto-erotic asphyxiation. This can end in accidental death. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is defined as the induction of cerebral anoxia -- a deficiency of oxygen in the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating. PLEASE do not try this!
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
12. Do I have to go to my doctor to get birth control?
A. You don't have to go to a doctor to get condoms, sexual lubricants or dental dams. Condoms are sold in most drug store chains, in some super markets and via the Internet. Visit Condomania Online for “They Fit” condoms and a huge selection in 55 sizes.
If you decide to take the Pill, use a Diaphragm, Depo-Provera, or “the Patch” - Ortho Evra, you will have to see a health care provider or a clinic. For more information visit those pages.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
13. Can I get pregnant from from giving oral sex to a guy?
A. No Way! Unless it leads to actual intercourse.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
14. I'm a female about to have sex for the first time. I want to know, will sex hurt? Will there be blood?
A. Sex shouldn't hurt, whether it’s your first time or your hundredth time. Most women do not bleed a lot the first time they have sexual intercourse. If there is bleeding, it's usually because your hymen broke or has torn. The hymen is a membrane that covers the opening of a girl's or woman's vagina. It covers (surrounds) the vaginal opening only partially. Hymens do not all look the same. Most girls break their hymens during childhood, often without knowing from activities like bike riding or horseback riding or from using tampons.¾ If your hymen is still intact, you can stretch it open yourself for several weeks before you have intercourse. It should be pushed to the sides of the vagina.
Put one or two clean fingers into your vaginal opening and move them gently from side to side. Do this every day until is stretches. There may be normal spotting of blood when you do this. If sex hurts, it's usually because a woman hasn't been sexually aroused through foreplay. That means her vagina isn't lubricated enough before a man penetrates her.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
15. What do I do when a condom tears?
A. Good question. This is a very scary thing! First, don't panic. The condom in which you've entrusted your life has busted a leak. Here's what to do to help avoid sexually transmitted diseases and a pregnancy.
1. Wash immediately. Share the news and hit the shower. "Wash yourself with soap and water," says James Trussell, Ph.D, expert on emergency contraception at Princeton University. No studies have shown that soap destroys STDs, "but it won't do any harm, and it might do some good."
2. Show concern. Gently ask her to (a) inspect herself for condom bits, (b) refrain from douching, as that can push in microbes, and (c) use emergency contraception pills. If taken fewer than 72 hours after intercourse, they can prevent pregnancy. She can get them from her doctor or call Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-PLAN.
3. Talk about history. Before you even consider having sex with a anyone, you should talk about history -- not "World War II" kind of history, but how many sexual partners she has been with, etc. If she is infected, and the condom breaks, your risk for getting a sexually transmitted disease ranges from 50 percent for gonorrhea to 0.2 percent for HIV. Should your condom break, have another chat with her about previous sex partners and diseases. "If you're concerned about STDs, see your doctor and get tested within a few days," says Jonathan Zenilman, M.D., of the Johns Hopkins University STD Research Group. If you know you were exposed to HIV, ask your doctor about a combination anti-HIV drug treatment. This measure is expensive, controversial and unproven, but it may be your only recourse.
4. Troubleshoot. Did you use an expired condom or an oil-based lubricant? Maybe you nicked the condom with a fingernail while putting it on. Whatever the cause, eliminate it.
A study published in the American Journal of Public Health showed that men who experienced a condom break or slip were twice as likely to do so again. So be careful with condoms, breakage is not common, but it does happen!
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
16. Why does it hurt so much when I got kicked in the groin?
A. Testicles are super sensitive because they're rich in nerve endings. Testes take shape in the abdomen, near the stomach and kidneys, and the nerves and blood vessels remain attached there even after the gonads hit dangle mode. That's why after a poke to the groin you feel the pain in the very pit of your stomach. That pain is so bad that men can actually experience it simply by seeing someone else receive the blow.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
17. When do I need to see a gynecologist?
A. Pay attention to your body. If you notice unusual gynecological symptoms, make an appointment with your health care provider at once. You might have an easy to treat infection or a maybe a more serious problem. The sooner you catch it, the better. Reasons to see your doctor or health care provider right away include:
See your gynecologist for an annual Pap smear and STD tests. Early treatment can cure many STDs and reduce the impact of others.*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
18. Can having a Pap test during menstruation effect the results? I've heard not to get one during this time. Can it cause abnormal results? Why is this?
A. You're right about what you've heard: women don't usually have Pap tests done during their periods. Menstruation itself does not cause abnormal Pap smear results but, menstrual blood makes abnormal cervical cells difficult to see. (You see a lot of blood cells instead).
It's recommended that women schedule a Pap test between ten and twenty days following the start of their periods. It's also important not to douche, apply vaginal medication, and/or insert spermicide (as foam, cream, jelly, film, suppository, or tablet) for about two days before the exam because they may remove or obscure abnormal cells, preventing the most accurate test reading.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
19. How many eggs does a woman have when she is born?
A. Unlike men, who produce new sperm daily throughout most of their lifetime, women are born with a finite number of undeveloped eggs -- around one to two million -- in their ovaries.
When women reach puberty and start menstruating, only about 300,000 immature egg cells, or follicles, remain. Some of these begin to develop with each monthly cycle, but during this time, only one follicle matures into an ovum (egg) and bursts from an ovary into the fallopian tubes, initiating ovulation.
Through a process known as atresia, many of the follicles that don't develop into mature egg cells degenerate. As a result, only a few hundred remain at menopause, which usually begins at around forty-five or fifty years of age; however, because of the hormonal changes that accompany menopause, the remaining follicles are unlikely to mature and become viable eggs. But this does not mean that women going through menopause cannot get pregnant.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
20. What is "Torsion of the Testicle ?"
A. Perhaps the most common testicular problem is torsion of a testicle. This is when it spins around on the spermatic cord, which carries the spermatic artery, and cuts off its own blood supply. This is a medical emergency and usually requires surgery within four hours if the testicle is to be saved. Sometimes the doctor will stitch it in place so the torsion doesn't happen again. This can be a very painful experience. As the testicles' blood supply is reduced, they gradually turn red, then purple and eventually blue. The pain is excruciating and medical help is essential. This is not to be confused with "blue balls".
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
21. What can I do about recurring urinary tract infections (UTIs)?
A. Urinary tract infections can affect both men and women. New or recurrent, UTIs need to be diagnosed and treated medically. (Some can be treated without antibiotics, but I will include that in "Bladder Infections".
Friction, usually by the penis during intercourse or by masturbating, seems to be a main cause of UTIs. A change of position may make a difference in the prevention of UTIs. In addition, drinking lots & lots of water sometimes helps flush out the urethra. Urinating immediately after intercourse, for both men and women, may help flush out the urethra of semen, diaphragm jelly, nonoxynol-9, and/or bacteria. (Semen can get into a woman's urethra if no condom is used during sex. This is because of the close proximity of all these organs during intercourse.)
Often, UTIs occur following intercourse, especially after first intercourse (the nickname, "honeymoon cystitis" was what they used to call it ) or after one has not had intercourse for a while and then begins to have it again.
Just to emphasize, medical attention is important, especially with recurrent UTIs, because left untreated chronic infections may result in kidney infections and even damage. You don't necessarily have to go to a GYN for this, you can go to your family doctor for treatment.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
22. Are vaginal secretions normal?
A. Yes. It's normal to have secretions at times of the month other than your period. These secretions keep the vagina clean, help prevent infection, and provide lubrication during sexual arousal and intercourse. You may notice clear sticky discharge about 2 weeks after your period. This is very normal and is a sign that you have ovulated. (Which may come in handy when you want to get pregnant).
If your discharge itches, burns, smells bad or changes color, you should see a health care provider promptly since you may have an infection. Don't stress over it, not all infections are STDs and even virgins get yeast and bacterial infections.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
23. If two people test HIV negative, can they still give HIV to each other? What about virgins?
A. Theoretically, two people who have tested HIV-negative twice (the tests being done 6 months apart) and are monogamous and don't share needles with anyone else run virtually no risk of having or exchanging HIV. The same goes for people who have never had sex or shared needles with anyone. The problem is that these situations are more theoretical than real, since it's impossible to know everything about someone else's exposure or history, like if their mother is HIV positive and if the virus was transmitted via the placenta or at birth. Again, it's a matter of managing risks and deciding how much trust and risk you are willing to deal with.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
24. How do I know if I'm gay?
A. Sexual feelings can be confusing, but often they're more so if they seem to be directed toward members of your own gender. The main thing to do is relax, and remember that you don't have to rush and "decide" what you are or what to call yourself. Sexual identities can develop over time. If you relax and pay attention to your desires, you will be able to figure out what turns you on and what you're attracted to -- without worrying about what to call it or what you "are".
Most people do define themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight; but ultimately people are more interesting and complicated than these names. It's up to you to figure out how you want to identify yourself (as bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, or whatever). Keep in mind that there are as many sexualities as people out there, and there's one that is uniquely yours. For more information, check out some of the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgendered resources on homosexuality.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
25. How do I heal a hickey as fast as possible?
A. What is the fastest way to get rid of a bruise on the neck caused from kissing (hickey).
Sorry, but there is no "fast way" to get rid of a hickey. In fact, there is no way to get rid of one other than by being patient. Just as you cannot make a bruise on your arm go away quickly, you cannot make one on your neck disappear.
Of course, you have a range of cover-up options, such as make-up, and creative uses of shirt collars, scarves, and turtlenecks in the winter. You may be able to disguise the hickey for a few days until it becomes less noticeable. Or, you can act like there's nothing wrong and be careful not to draw attention to the hickey. Maybe then your mom will not notice.
Chances are she will notice. What makes you think your mom will "flip out?" Does she even know that you have a girl or boyfriend? Remember, your mother went through the same thing when she was a teen. You could even ask your mom about the hickey before she asks you. Let her know that you'd like to talk about your dating, so you know where you both stand on the issue.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
26. I heard that guys have a female part, is this true?
A. Yes, kind of. Guess what, guys, you have a vagina. “It's called vagina masculina, or male vagina,” says David Reuben, MD. It could have turned into a “real” vagina, but testosterone took care of that when you were still an embryo -- back when your gender was not yet established. Now it's a just a piece of tissue dangling from your bladder. "Every man has one," says Dr. Reuben. You have nipples for the same reason. Men have hymens, too, sitting uselessly near the prostate gland. If you really want to know more, pick up a book on embryology.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
27. We had sex with our clothes on, could I get pregnant?
A. No, not really. I can’t assume what you mean by “sex”, but if you had 'sex' in your jeans, underwear or bathing suit, there's no way you can be pregnant really -- this would imply that there was no penetration by the penis. (This is not considered sexual intercourse, of course, many people call it “dry sex”). Sperm can't swim through clothes. I am not talking about mesh clothes, then I don't know. THIS is not a method of birth control however.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
28. He "came" outside my vagina, could I be pregnant?
A. It's not very likely. If the sperm was deposited very close to the opening of the vagina, there is a small chance they could make it inside the vagina, but not very likely. They still have to swim a long way from there. If the sperm wasn't close to the vagina (like on your thigh or leg) than the answer is probably not. BUT, please don't make a habit of this, you can use a condom if you are in that situation and there is no penetration involved. Then you will have protection.
The high failure rate of a guy “pulling out” makes this 'situation' NOT a form of birth control by any means. This is due to the lubricating presence of pre-ejaculate fluid, which leaks out of the penis before ejaculation. In many cases with many people there are more than enough sperm to impregnate a female. That's probably why there are so many of us here on this planet. Bottom line: Use birth control methods that work, see Birth Control. Also, see “Can I Get Pregnant If...”
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
29. Can I get HIV from kissing?
A. Saliva doesn't transmit HIV as far as we know, although the virus has been found in saliva of HIV infected people. It is not very likely that you would get HIV from kissing, but it may have happened to some people, I will check with the CDC. There are four fluids that can carry and transmit HIV: blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. See HIV and Bodily Fluids.
It is, however, theoretically possible to contract HIV through kissing. If both partners have cuts or sores in the mouth or bleeding gums, infected blood could possibly be exchanged. However, in practice this is unlikely. There is something about saliva and the environment of the mouth that is inhospitable to the virus. Like all safe sex, kissing is a matter of managing risks. If you are aware of cuts or sores in your mouth, it is best to abstain from "deep kissing," but in general kissing is one of the safest sexual activities - besides phone sex, but that is for another page
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
30. Where is my clitoris?
A. (I get asked this question a lot. Try your public library, get a book on Human Anatomy & Physiology. Look at their drawings for a better understanding of the anatomy). * Update, go to page 15 or the FAQ pages for a drawing of the female anatomy.
I can't tell you exactly where yours is, but I will answer these faqs. “Where is the clitoris located in the female?” “Is it different in every female", “what is the easiest way to locate it?"
The clitoris is an extremely sensitive erectile organ located below the pubic bone, within and close to the top of the labia. The labia (majora and minora) are the outer and inner folds of skin that surround the clitoris, the urethra opening, and the vagina.
Yes, the urethra is where you pee out of.
The glans (or tip) of the clitoris, is the part that you can see. It attaches to the shaft, which runs along internally from the glans. The clitoris connects to a branching interior system of erectile tissue that runs throughout a woman's genital area. The erectile tissue responds to sexual arousal by filling with blood and becoming harder and erect, similar to a man's penis.
During sexual excitement the clitoris swells and changes position a bit, but don't expect it to look erect like a penis does. The clitoris is covered by a clitoral hood that is actually part of the labia. The size and shape of the clitoris varies in each woman, although its location is pretty much the same for all women. For more on the female anatomy see Hymen and your Vagina...
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
31. I recently touched my girlfriend's vagina and I think my hand still had dried semen on it from... (whatever). Could she get pregnant from this?
A. Not from that, but maybe you should be washing your hands more often. Although sperm can live for up to 5 - 6 days inside the female body, note that I said up to, it can not live very long on clothing, hands or tabletop. I would be very surprised if there were even any still living on your hand 2 hours later. Sorry if you wanted to hear something else. I don't see fatherhood in your future from that.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
32. I'm a 21 year old female and have been with my boyfriend for two years. We have had sex for over a year now and I am still unable to have an orgasm during sex with him. Is this normal for most women?
A. It is very common for young women to have difficulty achieving orgasm, particularly during intercourse. But, I don't really know why.
Most women are able to figure out some way they can reach orgasm, whether it is through oral or manual stimulation. The problem may be that in general there is entirely too much focus on the mechanical aspects of the female sexual functioning.
One consistent feature that I have noticed to be overlooked (from the email that I get) is the emotional connection women have with their sexual functioning. Most women who are able to feel comfortably intimate with their partners, and who have partners who are loving and responsive to their needs, will function well physically and orgasm easily.
Your partner's emotional support and awareness of your needs is really important. You may not have control over this, but you should learn to express your needs to that person. Look carefully at this relationship to be sure there is in fact an intimate connection. If there are significant shortcomings, recognize that most relationships in your age group do ultimately end. (Sorry, a fact of life). BUT, they are part of the learning process, which leads to understanding who you are in a relationship and what your needs are sexually, emotionally and intimately.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
33. Me and my girlfriend are having a baby. She is in her fourth month, can we have sex and will it hurt the baby?
A. Unless your midwife or obstetrician has told you otherwise, you and your girl can have sex. Unless there are complications with the pregnancy, it is safe to have sex because the fetus is protected by a cushioning sac of amniotic fluid that surrounds it. Think of a chicken egg -- your fetus is like the yellow yolk part in the middle of all that egg white.
Pregnancy can affect sex in other ways, however. Hormonal changes that accompany pregnancy often influence a woman's moods, which could influence her desire to have sex. For some couples, nausea, weight gain and fatigue may present challenges to sex and the enjoyment of it.
Changing positions is important because some women may experience sex differently while they're pregnant. What they once found pleasurable before pregnancy may no longer feel the same. That's why it can help for the woman to listen to her body and act appropriately. This is especially true if a woman has any pain or uterine bleeding, or if her "water is broken," in which case she'll need to avoid sexual intercourse and see a health care provider right away.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
34. What is the Abortion Pill or RU-486?
A. For a decade around the world, several million women have used a pill to end pregnancy in its earliest weeks. Since the end of the year 2000, mifepristone has crossed U.S. borders. Also known as RU-486 or the French abortion pill. Like all abortion methods, mifepristone has been the subject of controversy, in part because it promises to make abortion even safer, more effective and more accessible, especially to rape victims.
Mifepristone was first developed as an early-abortion drug in France in 1988, under the name RU-486. Shortly after being developed the company producing RU-486 suspended its distribution, citing anti-abortion protests in the United States, France, and Germany. The French Minister of Health, acting in "the interests of the public health," ordered the company to resume its distribution only two days later.
After years of controversy, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved the drug mifepristone (formerly known as RU-486) for use in the United States. The approval may generate significant changes in the way women and their health care providers think about abortion, and also increase the number of possibilities women have when faced with the need for one.
As with any drug, taking mifepristone will be safer if you know something about it before you think about taking it. It is NOT to be used as a birth control method! hand.
Mifepristone (now being marketed under the trade name Mifeprex), comes in a pill form. It is used as an abortion method for the early days of pregnancy.
How does it work?
Mifepristone functions as an antiprogesterone drug, which means that it blocks the receptors of the hormone progesterone, an important hormone in the establishment and maintenance of pregnancy. Important for women to know that it can be used only within 49 days of the beginning of the woman's last menstrual period.
How it is taken?
For the drug to work a woman takes three mifepristone pills. Two days after taking the pills, she returns to her health care provider, who will give her a dose of misoprostol -- a drug that causes uterine contractions. Those contractions, in turn, abort the embryo. Two weeks later, the woman again sees her health care provider to ensure that the pills worked completely and that there is no tissue left in the women. Studies have shown that mifepristone is 92 to 95 percent effective.
What are its side effects?
The most common side effects have been: Uterine cramping, bleeding, nausea, fatigue The labeling for mifepristone emphasizes cramping and bleeding as the primary side effects. Bleeding and spotting usually lasts for about nine to sixteen days. Heavy bleeding is possible, but extremely rare. In about one of every 100 women the bleeding becomes heavy enough to require a surgical procedure to stop it.
Who shouldn't take it?
Mifepristone shouldn't be used by women who have: Confirmed or suspected ectopic (tubal) pregnancies, an intrauterine device (IUD) in place, experienced chronic failure of their adrenal glands, current, long-term therapy with corticosteroids, a history of allergy to mifepristone, misoprostol, or other prostaglandins, bleeding disorders or are undergoing anticoagulant (blood-thinning) therapy.
How can I get it?
See your health care provider for more information about mifepristone and to discuss using it. Note that the FDA has restricted the use of mifepristone to health care providers who can operate in case a surgical abortion is necessary (if the drug-induced abortion proves incomplete) or if you experience severe bleeding. It's also available to providers who have made advance arrangements for a surgeon to care for their patients. Planned Parenthood says that it should cost about the same as a surgical abortion, but Danco Laboratories has not yet confirmed that comment.
For More see or listen to: 'The Morning After Pill' and Emergency Contraception.
References:
Associated Press. "FDA Approves Abortion Pill," The New York Times. September 28, 2000. Food and Drug Administration (U.S.).
"FDA Approves Mifepristone for the Termination of Early Pregnancy." Health and Human Services (HHS) News. September 28, 2000. Motamed, Susan.
"Mifepristone: The New Face of Abortion." Planned Parenthood. September, 1999. Accessed September 28, 2000. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/articles/mifepristone.html Planned Parenthood (U.S.).
"Mifepristone (Formerly Known as RU-486): A Brief History. Accessed September 28, 2000. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/library/ABORTION/mifepristone.html
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
35. How old do I have to be to have an abortion in the U. S.?
A. For those of you under age 18, the laws on abortions differ from state to state. In some states, parental permission is required before a girl under 18 can have an abortion (however, sometimes a judge can excuse you from this law in a process called “Judicial Bypass”). Check this page for abortion laws in your state. 'Abortion Laws'.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
36. I want to go on the birth control pill, but I'm nervous about going for a gynecological exam. Could you describe what it's like please?
A. For information about your first gynecological exam read: GYN Exam. Here is the fast version...
An annual GYN exam is thorough, but the internal exam is fast and should not be painful. It will include a check of your blood pressure and weight, as well as a breast exam and a pelvic exam. For more detail see our articles on pelvic exams, breast exams and pap smears.
You may be seen by a physician, nurse practitioner or a PA (physician's assistant). She or he will exam your external genitals to make sure they are normal, the clitoris and the vaginal opening. After that, she/he will use a speculum -- an instrument that keeps the walls of the vagina open. The speculum is gently inserted into your vagina so the person can see your cervix and take a pap smear. (Also secretion samples for STDs can be collected at this time too). A swab sample of your cervix is taken to collect some cells to examine in a laboratory for cancerous or pre-cancerous growths or other abnormalities will be taken (for more details read: pap smears. ) This simple test is an important part of every woman's yearly health exam, since early detection and treatment of any cervical abnormalities can reduce future complications.
The manual part of the exam is necessary to assess your uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries, to make sure they feel normal and to check for any swelling or tenderness. Once the doctor or nurse practitioner is finished checking your uterus and ovaries, the exam is complete. For more details read the pelvic exam article.
If you have been sexually active, tell the health care provider and have cultures taken for STDs. It’s your decision if you want to have an HIV blood test done. You need to sign a consent form for that test, and the results will not be discussed with anyone else but you. In addition, information should be made available about the range of contraceptives available and specific ways to prevent STDs as well as teaching you how to do a breast self-exam and how to take the pill correctly if it is prescribed for you.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
37. Why does a doctor have to touch my testicles?
A. Read our article on testicular self exams. During a health examination, the health care provider will need to feel your testicles and the area around them to detect two important things -- a hernia or a testicular tumor. This exam can be very embarrassing for all guys, but it's a really important thing to check. You should also check your own testicles every month for any lumps or changes. Cancer of the testicles accounts for only about 1 percent of all cancers in men. BUT, it is the most common type of cancer in males aged 18 to 40.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
38. What is dry sex?
A. "Dry sex" is a term that has different meanings to different people. Some people think it means taking off your clothes and going through the motions of sexual intercourse -- thrusting and rubbing against each other's bodies without ever inserting the penis into the vagina. Other people think it means going through the motions of sexual intercourse, with your clothes on. Dry sex with clothes on can't result in a pregnancy even if the guy ejaculates into his clothes.
If there are no clothes on and semen comes in contact with the opening of the vagina, then a pregnancy is possible. It can also be very difficult to control your desires and hormones once your clothes are off.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
39. I was wondering if masturbating will affect my period?
A. Masturbating really doesn't have any effect on your cycle. Now and then ANY form of sexual activity can possibly help bring on the onset of an irregular period, and for some women alleviate menstrual cramps, simply because your body relaxes during sexual activity, and during orgasm, your uterus may experience some contractions. Your menstrual cycle is controlled by hormones that work in harmony every single month. For more information on how menstruation works, check out our article on the topic.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
40. Am I still a virgin if I use a tampon?
A. Yes. You are still a virgin if you have not had sexual intercourse. Many girls worry that if they use tampons, they will no longer be virgins. You don't really have anything to worry about because a virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse. (And that is also in accordance with The Webster Dictionary, btw).
Many females who are virgins usually have a hymen -- a thin membrane or tissue that stretches partly across the opening of the vagina. Some females bleed slightly the first time they have sexual intercourse because the hymen stretches or breaks. It is possible that inserting a tampon will tear the hymen, but this is does not happen to every female. The hymen is just partially there or already has holes in it - how else would the menstrual flow get out? Even if a tampon does break the hymen, a teen is still a virgin until she has had sexual intercourse. I know I keep writing that, but I get emailed that question every day.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
41. What is a hymen anyway?
A. It’s a thin protective elastic membrane or strip of skin that partially covers your vaginal opening. When you reach puberty, the hymen stretches easily, but a hymen can be torn in many ways... when you were a kid on a bike, from exercise, from horseback riding, and from inserting a tampon. A hymen that isn't intact doesn't mean that a girl is not a virgin. Remember, you are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse. You might want to read The Hymen article.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
42. How soon can I use home pregnancy tests?
A. Home pregnancy tests are most accurate about 27 days after conception. This is when a menstrual period is 10 -12 days late, although some tests do say they can be used as early as 2 days after a missed period. * Update: Some of the new pregnancy tests say you can use them one day after a missed period. If your cycle is not regular, wait another day to use it. (Or you might be wasting your money). *Some claim they are accurate 5 days before you have missed your period. I would go with the older tests since there is some data on how accurate those are.
Collect a good urine specimen. If the directions call for the use of a container, use a new or clean one. A washed-out bottle may interfere with the results. Most tests today provide a small disposable cup for you to use or you pee directly onto them. Perform the test in the morning when urine is the most concentrated. BUT, you can use them at any time of the day.
(Refrain from the use of aspirin or marijuana the day before and the day of the test). Results can be one of two things:
Positive. Almost always means pregnant. False positives (says pregnant when not) are very rare. Things that cause a false positive include marijuana, aspirin, hormones, birth control pills, methadone, tranquilizers, and soap or protein in urine.
Negative. Usually means not pregnant. False negatives (says not pregnant when pregnant) are fairly common. This happens if it is too early in the pregnancy to make the results of the home test accurate.
If you suspect you are pregnant even though a home pregnancy test is negative, you should have a pelvic exam by a GYN health care provider and blood test or repeat the urine test in a couple days.
2006 - For an update on Home Pregnancy Tests see: Pregnancy_tests.htm
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
43. What is a dental dam [vaginal dam] and how is it used. I don't mean when the dentist uses it.
A. Dental or vaginal dams are rectangular pieces of latex used for safer sex protection while performing oral sex on a female. (Many are flavored, BTW). Since STDs can be transmitted from either partner to the other during oral sex, it is important to use a dental dam. They should also be used for oral to anal contact for the same reason. Yep, it sounds like it takes the fun out of oral sex, but genital herpes or oral herpes sure as heck does more!!
Dental dams should be placed on the area which is being pleasured. Make sure not to flip over the dental dam during use to prevent the transmission of STDs between partners. An alternative to using a dental dam is regular plastic wrap, which should be used in the same way as a dental dam. Some people cut a condom in half and use that on their tongue. The dental dam probably is better protection, IMHO. You can buy dental dams at at most stores that sell condoms. (Remember, in the USA & Canada, you can buy condoms or any birth control at any age! (Many universities give them out for free at their health centers.)
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
44. What is oral sex?
A. Oral sex can take place in various ways when it involves a man & woman, (or a woman and a woman, or a man and a man): Heterosexual oral -- The woman can stimulate the man's genitals with her mouth and tongue (called: fellatio, “blow job”). The man can stimulate the woman's vulva, clitoris and vagina with his tongue (cunnilingus). Either partner can stimulate the area round the other partner's anus (“rimming”) with his or her tongue. Always use a dental dam, condom or plastic wrap when doing this. If you are married and in a monogamous relationship, you make the decision if you need the STD protection. For more, see the above question.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
45. What is the difference between a male and female orgasm?
A. The most obvious difference in orgasms is that male orgasms are usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen. Ejaculation involves the secretion of semen into the urethra (urinary canal) and a rhythmic contraction of pelvic muscles that forces the semen out of the urethra.
In males sometimes orgasms occur with or without ejaculation. When men have orgasms without ejaculation, the pelvic muscles contract and you feel like youêre having an orgasm, but the semen is prevented from being secreted into the urethra. Less commonly, the semen is pushed backward into the bladder during orgasm and appears as milky fluid that comes out during urination after sex. This is called retrograde ejaculation and happens occasionally when men try to prevent ejaculation during orgasm and is usually not a sign of a disorder. However, retrograde ejaculation does happen more frequently in people with diabetes or after surgery, causing damage to the nerves around the penis.
During orgasm for a female, the rhythmic contractions take place within the pelvic muscles as well as the walls of the vagina. In most women, there is no fluid ejaculated during orgasm. Another difference between male and female orgasm is that women do not experience a refractory period and may have multiple orgasms with continued or additional stimulation.
Check out these articles: Female Orgasm and Male Orgasm
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
46. I read that there were phases of an orgasm, is this true?
A. Yes! The four phases of sexual response are: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Arousal, or feeling turned on, is a combination of mental arousal and physical changes, such as a racing heart, rapid breathing, flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection of the penis, and swelling and lubrication of the vagina. During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies. During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is released. The fourth stage is resolution, during which there is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state accompanied by a sense of warmth, pleasure, and relaxation. After orgasm and ejaculation, most males are unable to have another orgasm for a period of time. This refractory period depends on age (younger men can need only minutes to fully -recover" and older men may need an hour or more) and differs widely between men.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
47. How long does sperm live after ejaculation?
A. Although sperm can live for many weeks in the testicle, sperm remains capable of fertilization only for about 24 to 48 hours after ejaculation. YES, they have lived as long as 6 days in some studies, so I am sure someone will correct me on this. No, they can not live on your jeans if they are deposited there and the semen is dry. (Remember that blue dress in the news?)
The female egg is only able to be fertilized for 12 to 48 hours after ovulation. This may be useful to those who are trying to get pregnant. (Home ovulation kits are very accurate, btw).
People often use this information to determine when it is least likely to get pregnant with unprotected sex. These methods are called the rhythm methods of contraception. Rhythm methods are not reliable methods of contraception, and we DO NOT recommend this "method" for teens. Also, this does not prevent the transmission of STDs including HIV.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
48. Do condoms "dull" my boyfriend's sensations during sex? Every time he puts one on, he says he loses sensation, is this true?
A. I get this question a lot. It can take a while to get used to wearing a condom when you use a them for birth control or for STD protection. Some men report that they actually prefer using a condom because it dulls their sensations enough to slow down their urge to orgasm -- and make sex last longer. Others, like your B/F, say that they can't maintain an erection while wearing a condom because it desensitizes them or makes them feel entirely different sexual sensations.
After a while your B/F may no longer feel the difference between intercourse with or without the condom. Another suggestion is for you two to experiment with different kinds, brands and shapes of condoms. The thinner brands cost more, but are still just as effective and do provide for more sensation. Encourage him to experiment with different condoms, then you can make this a pleasant part of your sex together, not a burden.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
49. When I have sex, sometimes I feel too dry inside and often it hurts. There are also times when I feel a pain in my belly when he is in too deep, any suggestions?
A. Don't stress out over vaginal dryness. You might just need a vaginal lubricant and there are many to choose from, even the generic brands work well. You can find them in the pharmacy where condoms or spermicide are sold and they are not expensive. Most brands will assist the gliding process. However, it may also be that you are really not "excited" enough for intercourse, therefore more foreplay may be required.
Spend more time before the act getting interested and ready to participate. Kissing, fondling, caressing and slowly getting into sexual exploration may also be a part of the dance that's lacking for you. If you have severe pain, seek medical help right away. It may be an infection, inflammation or condition that requires attention. BUT, tell him so together you can create the pattern that's pleasing for both of you. Concentrate on what feels good for both of you; inside and out.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
50. Is there really a home HIV test and how can I get one?
A. YES, great question. The Home Access Test System is easy to use. Professionally trained counselors are available 24 hours a day to provide assistance and to answer your questions. Results in 1 week for the Home Access and 3 days with the Home Access Express.
How accurate are HIV home tests?
According to the A.M.A's Archives of Internal Medicine, the Home Access test has proved (in clinical studies) to be more than 99.9% accurate. These results were from a conducted study comparing the results of the Home Access blood spot test with venous results. Out of the Negative results, 100% of the tests were in agreement. According to the CDC, if it is six months after you could have possibly been exposed to HIV, and your test results are negative, you can feel confident with your negative results.
How do the HIV home tests work?
The home HIV test is completely anonymous and confidential. Counseling is offered both before your blood samples are given, and after you receive your results. First you must prick your finger with a lancet provided in the kit. You then apply three drops (will equal about the size of a dime) to a card. Then return the kit in the weatherproof pre-paid federal express or US Mail envelope to the company. In three days or a week (depending on which test you have purchased), call the toll free number for your results. You are asked to enter your identification number as seen on your test. A counselor will explain your results and offer counseling and information about services in your area. Whether advising you in HIV prevention, or in seeking a local doctor, the counselors are available 24 hours a day to provide you with the information you need. Counseling is offered in Spanish and English.
What do I do if my HIV test is positive/negative?
If your results are positive, you should speak with the counselor immediately to make sure you have enough information. They can direct you to local counselors, doctors, and answer any questions you may have. If you are negative, that’s great and continue (or begin) to practice safe sex.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
51. Can I have sex while I have my period? I use tampons, what do I do about that?
A. As long as both of you are comfortable about having sex during your period then of course you can. Since you're a tampon user, you should remove the tampon before having sex (due to comfort). Most of the time the blood flow decreases during intercourse and you won't notice it, though sometimes it does happen if your period is heavier than others, so a towel placed underneath would help.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
52. What is auto-erotic asphyxiation?
A. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is the Induction of cerebral anoxia -- a deficiency of oxygen in the brain -- through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating.
It is estimated that between 500 and 1000 deaths occur annually in the United States from this dangerous type of masturbation. Most commonly performed by young adult males, it almost always remains a secret until they die accidentally.
The interference of blood supply to the brain brought on by auto-erotic asphyxiation can intensify sensations. The lack of blood, therefore oxygen to the brain can produce giddiness, exhilaration or a self-induced "high". It's also believed the self-endangerment inherent in the technique enhances the person's sexual gratification. This technique often involves using a rope, belt or another device to cause the asphyxiation.
Of course, this same self-endangerment that may provide a thrill to the person carrying out auto-erotic asphyxiation also weakens one's self-control and judgment possibly resulting in accidental death.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
53. What is human sperm made up of?
A. I'll assume you are asking about sperm plus the seminal fluid (a.k.a. semen) which contains the sperm. Each sperm or spermatozoon, (spermatozoa = more than one of them) is actually made up of three parts, the head, the midpiece and the tail. One cell is called a spermatozoa.
The head contains chromosomes or genetic material (DNA) and on the outside of the head enzymes needed for the penetration and fertilization of an egg. The midpiece contains “stuff” that provides energy for the locomotion of the tail. The tail helps the sperm swim. Semen contains small amounts of more than thirty elements, including fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and various salts and enzymes.
Let’s go back to the inside of the head of the sperm. All normal cells have 46 chromosomes but sperm have half that number or, 23. If and when the sperm joins ups with the female’s, egg (ovum) which also has 23 chromosomes, together they add up to 46 chromosomes. The middle section controls the sperms activities.
The sperm or (spermatozoa -- which are the little swimming critters) make up only about 5% of what a man ejaculates each time he ejaculates. This represents about 100 to 400 million of them! Therefore, they are very, very, very tiny, in fact a single sperm is the smallest cell in the body. The rest of what a man ejaculates in his “ejaculate”, which is about a teaspoonful (5 ml), is made up of water, sugar, protein, vitamin C, zinc, and prostaglandins.
Semen or seminal fluid is the mixture of sperm and the secretions of the seminal vesicles, prostate gland, and the bulbourethral glands. For more on the sperm cell, see the sperm cell page....
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=**=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
54. I think my penis is too large for sexual intercourse, what can I do?
I have a very large penis; girth and length. Vaginal sex is not very satisfying because I can't fully penetrate my girlfriend without causing her a lot of pain. She saw her gynecologist to make sure she didn't have any infections. The GYN told her that physically there was nothing wrong. Any suggestions? Please help!
A. This problem is one that the two of you need to figure out together. Communication and creativity are the two main ingredients in working toward a solution that satisfies both of you in many areas of your relationship and now this is one of them.
The idea that bigger is better when it comes to sex with a well-endowed man is just not true and as your girlfriend knows can be even painful. For some people the "gag reflex" makes it difficult to have oral sex, for others, penetration causes severe pain or seems almost impossible.
You mention pain when you try to penetrate your girlfriend 'completely'. Keep in mind that most vaginas are only 4 inches long. The discomfort may be due to the head of your penis hitting her cervix. Or it may be because she is "new at this". Regardless of penis size, sensual touching is essential before penetration as it allows enough time for arousal as well as natural vaginal lubrication. (That is why it is called foreplay). For some women, the use of a water-based lubricant can make a huge difference. Lubricants can be used with a condom (as long as they are water-based) and yes it is a bit messy, but will be more comfortable for both people. How do you use it? Smear it all over the condom after it is put on. There are also liquids lubes that are water-based so it won't deteriorate latex condoms (see condom use if necessary), a different position during sex might help too.
Some people feel more comfortable with partial insertion during vaginal sex. It is up to you to be as creative as you like with the rest of the person's body and sex organs.
Talk to one another, if it is uncomfortable say so, etc. This doesn't mean carrying out a full conversation while having sex -- which can be distracting, annoying and even make the problem worse. Use simple instructions like “slow down”, “ouch” or “gently”, etc., enough to get the point across and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=**=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
55. The skin on my scrotum (balls) is getting darker. Is this normal?
A. It is normal for skin over the scrotum to get darker as you change from a boy to an adult (puberty). Darkening of the skin over the scrotum is actually one of the first steps of puberty. It usually occurs at the same time the skin over the testicles changes from a smooth appearance to a more rough appearance (called stippling).
Also at this time, the testicles will begin to enlarge. These changes are all the first visible signs that puberty has begun. The darkening of the scrotal skin is perfectly normal and will be followed over the next few years by even more dramatic changes: adult pubic hair, growth of the penis, hair in the armpits, larger and stronger muscles, facial hair, and growth to an adult size. These changes are all determined by factors called genetic traits -- these traits come from your parents and determine how fast these changes will occur and what the final results will look like. Good question, I get that one a lot.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=**=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
56. I take the pill, is it true that antibiotics make the pill less effective or not work at all?
A. YES!!! As with all oral contraceptives, antibiotics may decrease their effectiveness. You may need to use additional contraception (condoms and spermicide) when you take an antibiotic. Certain medications such as antibiotics can do that. Tell your healthcare provider if you’re taking any medications, because they may affect how well your pill works.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
57. What are the benefits of taking the pill, besides for birth control, I hear it’s good for your skin?
A. Most women go on the pill to avoid getting pregnant, but birth control pills, actually do more than just protect you from pregnancy. They can help reduce your menstrual cramps, regulate irregular periods, and lighten your menstrual flow. The pill has also been shown to decrease a woman’s risk of ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer (cancer in the lining of your uterus), ovarian and breast cysts, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). And yes, there are several that do help with acne!
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
58. I have a thick white discharge and am itchy “down there” is this a yeast infection?
A. It sure sounds like some of the symptoms, read about Yeast Infections.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
59. I have been getting Depo-Provera shots for about a year. My periods have stopped totally, what's up with that?
A. If you've gotten your injections on time, the absence of periods does not mean you're pregnant and is not something to worry about. (The medical term is amenorrhea). In fact, many women like the convenience of not having periods. Without it, women have less menstrual discomfort (such as back pain or cramping) and fewer disruptions of personal activities. Periods usually return within 3 to 10 months after you stop receiving the injections.
Periods stop because DEPO-PROVERA causes a ‘resting state’ in your ovaries. When your ovaries do not release an egg each month, the growth of the lining of the uterus does not occur. So the menstrual bleeding doesn't occur. You may want your healthcare provider to explain this in more detail.
For more information on Depo-provera, go to their site, no, they don't pay me to promote it, (wish they did), I just think it is a good choice of birth control for many women.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
60. I can feel the tampon inside of me, is something wrong?
A. Yes, when the tampon has been inserted correctly, you should not feel it or any discomfort. If you are able to feel the tampon, it probably has not been inserted far enough into the vagina and from time to time it happens to all women. Remove that tampon and insert another one if your menstrual flow is heavy enough. Maybe your menstrual flow was not heavy enough and that is why the tampon would not go inside all the way. Use a panty liner and wait until there is more flow which will help with insertion also.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
61. What are feminine deodorants and should I use one?
A. Women should NEVER use deodorant feminine hygiene products. IMHO. The camouflaging scents are created with chemicals, which should NOT be used on or near your vagina.. Some woman are very sensitive to small amounts of some chemicals.
If you are experiencing a problem with odor during your period, this can mean you're not changing the napkin or tampon as often as you should, OR you may have some kind of infection, not related to your period.
Odor is usually caused by bacteria. If you have any strong vaginal odor, see a gynecologist or go to a women's health clinic or even a planned parenthood health clinic.
The vagina is always home to several different bacteria strains. There are always both beneficial and harmful bacteria are present in the vagina. The idea is to be able to keep them in a normal balance and your body knows how to do this if you don't interfere too much. The good bacteria normally keep the bad bacteria in check, when they don't, infection can occur. A yeast infection is an irritating but less severe example of what happens when the bad bacteria don't keep the normally found yeast in your vagina in balance. If you want to read about Toxic Shock Syndrome, go there, but remember it is not a very common infection anymore, the tampons that caused this were taken off the market years ago. I am old enough to remember them, they were called “Rely” and were made of a foam-substance.
Women should not assume that since a feminine hygiene product is available to them at their local store that it is safe and okay to use. Products like scented douches and scented tampons and pads are totally unnecessary and can actually irritate the heck out of you!
The vagina is self cleaning, that is what 'normal discharge' is doing. Anything that interferes with the process by killing off beneficial bacteria or changes the vaginal environment (the pH) in any way, increases the chances a woman will develop a vaginal infection. Those douches and sprays were probably invented by men to increase sales to companies that made other products for women. You do NOT need any
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
62. How long do sperm live if they do not fertilize an egg?
A. In laboratory settings, sperm have been found to live up to SEVEN days! Inside a vagina, probably for about three to seven days. The important part of this question is that if you have sex without using contraception up to five days before ovulation (when an egg is released from one ovary), the egg could be fertilized. So, if you have sex on Saturday you could potentially fertilize an egg that is released on Wednesday. The egg (ovum) has a much shorter life span (about twenty-four hours). So, having sex right before ovulation -- and up to one day afterward -- would be the ideal time for fertilization. If you really want to prevent a pregnancy don’t have sex around this time at all, even using birth control. If you want to get pregnant, do the math, it works.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
63. I stopped taking the pill over a month ago, but still no period, what's up and when will I get my period again? (I have not had sex).
A. It is not uncommon for a woman's first non-pill periods to be a week or two late. Sometimes they are missed entirely. It may take weeks or a couple of months before your ovaries are functioning correctly. The pill stopped you from ovulating, so sometimes your body is slower to “kick in”. If your periods were irregular before taking the pill, your periods may be irregular for a while after stopping.
If after two months (and you are NOT sexually active), and you are still not getting periods, see your health care provider, blood test can be done to determine your hormone levels.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
64. Can I give genital herpes to my boyfriend if I am not having an outbreak at the time?
A. Absolutely! Use a condom with care.
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
65. What is the function of pubic hair?
A. You might think humans have pubic hair for warmth, but that’s not the reason at all, good guess though.
It’s function is for sexual attraction. (I am amazed by the number of people who ask about shaving it off -- there are many web sites out there if you want directions). Anyway, pubic hair sends out big aroma cues from the genitals' scent glands and delivers them to prospective partners -- odors that both genders find sexually stimulating. Human odor and scent, called pheromones are an important in human sexuality and physical attraction, which is why perfume and cologne are a huge industry. Sometimes you like someone and you don't really know why... it might be their scent mixing with yours. Pubic hair also serves as a visual cue -- there's no mistaking that dark triangle shape when you see it against bare skin. (This is also why baboons have red butts, it is their pubic hair in a way.)
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
What is the normal size of a penis for my age?
This used to be the #1 most frequently asked question at Cool Nurse. A reader sent in some answers. I thought this was worth putting on the site, but I do not know where he got it from. It might be from an Internet survey and may not be that accurate.
These statistics are not clinical measurements, they are the average results of people who answered an Internet poll. If you know you are a late maturer, then the results for your age group will be meaningless -- you need to look at a younger age group. Don't be too concerned if you fall well outside the measurements for your age group. The penis is an organ that varies a lot from male to male - there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to penis size.
Measured along the top, how long is your erect penis?
By age, the averages found were:
| Age |
Size |
| 12 | 4.1" (104 mm) |
| 13 | 5.1" (130 mm) |
| 14 | 6.0" (152 mm) |
| 15 | 6.1" (155 mm) |
| 16 | 6.3" (160 mm) |
| 17 | 6.5" (165 mm) |
| 18 | 6.4" (163 mm) |
| 19 | 6.2" (157 mm) |
| 20 | 6.2" (157 mm) |
Conclusions:
The average adult penis size is about 6.2 inches or (157mm). It is interesting that in this study, penis size 'peaks' at age 17. Since penises do not get smaller as a male approaches age 21, it can be concluded that boys aged 16, 17, and 18 are most likely to exaggerate the size of their penises. Just a guess. (Several physicians suggested that the average penis size was about 6 inches, but they weren't measuring.) So, an average of 6.2 seems incorrect and maybe guys taking the survey exaggerated.
By ethnicity (age 15 and over only):
| Race |
Size |
| Black | 6.89" (175 mm) |
| Asian | 5.33" (135 mm) |
| Caucasian | 6.22" (158 mm) |
| Hispanic | 6.15" (156 mm) |
| Native American | 5.66" (144 mm) |
Here is a
quote from the video library, by Donald E. Greydanus, MD
The size of your penis is simply determined by factors, called genetic traits,
which you inherited from your parents. There is nothing you can do to increase
or decrease the size of your penis -- it will develop into its adult size as you
change from a boy to a man through the process called
puberty. Most boys start the
changes of puberty between 10
and 14 years of age, though a few will start earlier or later than these ages.
First, the testicles (balls) begin to enlarge and then hair starts to grow
around the them. The penis then starts to enlarge, first in length and then
later in thickness. Though there is much normal variation, the final penis size
is reached four to six years after the testicles first started to enlarge.
This process of normal penis growth can be disturbing to many males. Since the testicles enlarge first (and later followed by growth of the penis), many young male teens do not notice the testicles growing and worry that they are not changing and that their penis is too small. If you are overweight, fat tissue can hide the penis somewhat and give an impression that the penis is smaller than it really is. Some males in your class may have started their changes of puberty well ahead of you and they may seem like they have an adult-size penis-that can be very upsetting!
It is difficult to know how large a penis will be in its erect state, simply by looking at it when not erect (or when flaccid). It is also true that adult penis size varies considerably from person to person. Just as with any body part, different people will have different penis sizes. We live in a society that pushes a myth that the male with a larger penis has a better sex life than one with a smaller penis. This is constantly noted in sexual jokes, in comments heard on TV, or in the movies and in many other places. Well, the truth is that normal penises vary tremendously in size, and sex is just as good for each of these males. You will need to wait a year or two after your overall height has stopped changing to see what final size your penis will be. If at any time during your growing, you are worried that your penis is abnormal, just go to your doctor and ask him or her directly about this. In almost every case, you will be told that it is fine.