Improving Your Self Esteem
Self Esteem: Your evaluation of your worth or value based on your perception of things as your skills, abilities, talents, and appearance.
Are you:
Over sensitive
Sensitive to criticism and feedback from others
More critical of others
Overly responsive to praise and compliments
Do you:
Believe you are not popular or respected by others
Expect to be rejected by others
Prefer not to be observed when performing
Feel threatened by people who you feel are superior
Expect to lose when competing with others
Evaluate your overall behavior as inferior to that of others
IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE THEN CONTINUE ON.
**Boost Your Self Esteem
* Identify your strengths- Make a list of things you do well that you can look at when you are feeling down about yourself. Be proud of what you do well. Possibly try some new things that you are interested in to see if you can find some new things that you could add to your list of strengths. Don't compare yourself to others, because everyone is different and does different things well.
* Work on your weaknesses- Pick something about yourself that you would like to improve and plan out a step by step process to do it. Don't make a bunch of big changes at once. Work on it one or two at a time.
*Give yourself credit- Accept praise when someone offers it. Pat yourself on the back.
* Reduce Stress- Learn about different relaxation techniques and practice them
* Get Involved- Start a hobby, write, build stuff, join clubs, tutor others, volunteer, or play sports. Activities will help.
* Exercise!- It gets the blood flowing and increases your outlook on things
* Share your feelings- Speak out! If you are sad, angry, upset, or hurt, let people know--let it all out. Talk to a friend or write in a journal.
Project a Positive IMAGE
The way that you speak, stand, and move sends messages about yourself to others around you. It can even affect your own self-image.
So stand up straight- it tells others and yourself that you are confident
put some spring in your step-it shows that you are friendly and fun to be with
Smile- it will make you feel better- don't just smile to cover up hurt, talk to someone and then smile.
Breathe- take some deep breathes throughout the day. it will help you feel stronger and more secure.
Keep your arms relaxed- You will appear more open and secure about meeting people
Talk positively to others- Think of more positive things to say other than griping, complaining, whining, etc...
Talk positively to yourself. I can do this! I look pretty! I am hardworking! etc...
PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THESE FURTHER IDEAS.............
7 Steps to improving your self esteem:
1. Positive Self Talk
2. Positive Imaging
3. Don't Compare Yourself to Others
4. Reframe
5. Develop Honest Relationships
6. Let Go of the Past
7. Seek Support
Now Let's BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Positive Self Talk: Self Talk will help your performance and help you develop secure attitudes. It will keep you on track and help you achieve goals.
*Things to do: Say "I CAN do this" instead of I Can't
Say "I'm going to learn from this and use it to help others"
Say at least 3 positive things about yourself daily
Compliment at least 3 other people daily
2. Positive Imaging: Technique of imagining that you are performing a particular task in a certain way.
*Things to do: Visualize and Plan!!
If you feel nervous before taking a test, visualize it being easy and see yourself making an A, see yourself smiling and being proud
If you feel nervous giving a speech, visualize it coming naturally and see everyone applauding you and congratulating you. See yourself smiling.
3. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!!!!!
We spend so much of our time and most of our lives looking at others and comparing ourselves to them. Instead of being proud and happy about being unique, we pick ourselves apart and compare ourselves to bigger, brighter, and more beautiful people. Quit doing it!!! Start by noticing that you are doing it and correcting yourself.
*Things to do: Be yourself and be proud of what you can do, what you have, and who you are. Be happy that you are unique.
4. REFRAME: Redefine events/experiences from a different point of view.
*Things to do: If you experience one failure, keep the larger picture in mind, rather than focusing on the isolated event.
Notice the good things that can come from the situation
Ask: What effect will this have on my day? my week? my job? etc.. if I let it get me down?
5. Develop Honest Relationships: Make friends with people whom you can confide in and who will give you honest feedback from improving your skills and abilities.
6. Let Go of the Past: You may be hanging on to events and experiences that happened years ago that may be weighing you down. Focus on ways to enhance your abilities in the future.
Looking back at what we can not change only reinforces a sense of helplessness.
7. Seek Support: Talk with professional counselors who can help you identify your talents.
MAKE REACHABLE GOALS
JOURNAL AND OBSERVE
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After you raise your self esteem you will:
Think more highly of others
Have higher expectations for solving problems
Be more likely to accept praise and compliments from others without embarrassment
Be more comfortable having others observe you when you perform
Be more likely to admit you have both strengths and weaknesses
Prefer to interact with others who view themselves as highly competent
Expect other people to accept you for who you are
Be more likely to seek opportunities to improve skills that need improving
Evaluate your overall behavior more positively than would people with lower self esteem
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12 Steps to a better SELF ESTEEM
1. Make a decision to change
2. Change the way you look at yourself......make a list of 20 things you like about yourself
3. Say positive things about yourself aloud to others (tell your friend, "I look good")
4. Re examine relationships and make changes which will help break destructive patterns
5. Get rid of negative self thoughts in your head
6. Write positive notes to yourself and put them in places where you will see them "You have a pretty smile"
7. Allow yourself to hear compliments and learn how to accept them
8. Make a specific change in your behavior (say hello to more people, be on time, make the bed)
9. Give and receive more hugs
10. Work hard at communication with others. Ask for and give honest feedback about each other
11. Talk to a therapist
12. JOURNAL POSITIVE THINGS and if you have negative things to write, write them and then name a few positive things
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Links to help yourself:
http://rateyourself.com : Surveys and tests to assess your personal strengths and weaknesses.
http://www.queendom.com : Assess your personality