Self Mutilation
Armando Favazza is a professor of psychiatry at the University of Missouri, Columbia, and cofounder of the Society for the Study of Psychiatry and Culture. His research shows the following information:
More than 2 million Americans deliberately cut or burn themselves every year. Possibly as high as 8 million! That is 30 times the rate of suicide attempts and 140 times the rate of "successful" suicides.
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The main issue I have found within myself about the whole self mutilation thing is that when I internalize my feelings it causes internal conflict. We need to learn how to externalize our feelings. I had to learn that it is ok to be angry, hurt, depressed, embarrassed, etc. I had to learn that it was ok to cry or scream. I have written so many stories, papers, and poetry that I can't even count it all. I have written so many things about how much I hate the knives, razors, x-acto knives, lighters, etc... Every time I see one on the shelf at a store or just setting around somewhere I look at it and say how much I hate them. My problem was that I was in love with each object that could bring blood or blisters upon my body. I depended on them and saw them as my coping tools and life. They helped me live. But now I can look at them and say "I HATE YOU".
The last time, I was able to go 14 months with out self harming. I was shocked afterwards because I was doing good for so long and one impulsive second started my time over again. It's a long road and i can't actually say i will never do it again but i know the signs that lead me to it and am able to control it better now. Will I ever heal? Will I ever quit for good? I hope so. I can't say I will never do it again but I also can't say "Ill Try" because I'll be setting myself up for failure. I just need to take it.....ONE DAY AT A TIME! 1 Year 11 MONTHS
REMEMBER: You need to TALK. Let someone know about your feelings. Tell someone about your problems and accomplishments. Ask for help. There are people out there that will listen or talk with you. If you can bring yourself to ask for help seek information about local counselors in your area or on the internet. It's best to be able to set down face to face with a counselor though, but hey anything will help. You don't have to suffer! It takes time to heal but in the long run it is worth it.
Can you make a list of all the pros (positive things) and cons (negative things) of living WITHOUT self mutilation?
Can you recall times when you used another coping skill other than self harming? What were they? Is there any coping skills that you haven't tried, that you might look into?
Books:
Bodies Under Siege -- Dr. Armando Favazza
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings--- Angelou
A Bright Red Scream-- Maritee Strong
Women Who Hurt Themselves--- Dusty Miller
Cut-- Patricia McCormick
The Luckiest Girl in the World---
The Scarred Soul---- Tracy Alderman
Cutting-- Understand & Overcoming SI----Steven Levenkron
Movies:
Girl, Interrupted
13
28 Days
Songs:
Strawberry Gashes-- Jack off Jill
The World is not Enough- Garbage
Misery--- Pink
Bother-- Stonesour