Addict:
To
cause a person to become dependent upon a mood-altering substance or event.
Addiction:
Types
of Addictions:
Anything which has become a
compulsive, physiological need/mood -altering substance or event that has become
a habit which you are unable to stop.
A hobby is a hobby until you become obsessive or compulsive about your NEED to do it. When done in a balance in your life it can be healthy and relaxing, when it begins to interfere with your life balance is when it becomes unhealthy. Here are some extra addictions: fishing, shoplifting, fighting, lying, pornography, risk taking, competition, reading, tv, etc....
Addictions come in all shapes and forms.
Addiction can point to many different areas. But for those who have an
addiction, or for those affected by the addiction of a loved one or close
friend, it's clear what an addiction means in "real" terms.
An addiction is a dependency on a substance, an activity, or a relationship that pulls the addict away from everything else in the world. It's characterized by desires that consume people's thoughts and behaviors, and is acted out in habitual activities designed to get the desired thing or engage in the desired activity (addictive behaviors). And, unlike simple habits or consuming interests, addictions are "dependencies" with real life consequences that seriously impair, negatively affect, and destroy relationships, health (physical and mental), and the capacity to function effectively. Addiction is debilitating. Basically, addicts are "dependent" on that thing which dominates their thoughts and desires and directs their behaviors, and the pursuit of that thing becomes the most important activity in their lives. In the advanced stages of addiction nothing is as important as the addiction itself.
How
Do People Become Addicted?
Some
people see addiction as a disease in which addicts are afflicted and have little
power over the cause or onset of addiction. Others see addictive behaviors as a
choice, and addiction as the frequent outcome of this choice.
Addiction is considered by some to be a pre-disposition (the "addictive personality"), where others believe it develops through exposure to the addictive behaviors of others (such as family members). In the case of "physical" addictions such as alcoholism or drug dependence, many believe that susceptibility to addiction is passed on genetically. Others believe that addiction is simply the result of repetitive behavior that, in some people, leads to a physical or psychological dependence. It is certainly true that although not all addictions are physical, (gambling for instance), they are truly just as addictive and destructive.
How can I help?
By confrontational tactics (such as getting the person to admit they are an addict), I recommend using a style that some have called "rolling with the resistance" as you try to help the person move through the stages of change.
I have found that one of the best early strategies is to discuss with the person any ambivalence they may be feeling about their use. Remember it is very difficult for most people to give up something they know, no matter how distressing, to travel to an unknown place where they are being asked to give up some control and put their life in the hands of others. While you can give them feedback about the negative consequences of their use for you and the people around them, if you only focus on the negative aspects of their use, most substance abuser will be equally adamant about the positive benefits.
When you say: "You are an addict and
you must get help," the likely counter response is: "I am not an
addict and I don't need your help." People are more likely to take action
to change when they perceive they have personally chosen to do so, not when they
are told they have no other choice.
Too often people communicate a double message
to the substance abuser. They say: "you need to change," but at the
same time they communicate "but I am not very confident you can
change." It is important for you to communicate to the person that you
sincerely believe they can make meaningful changes in their lives and you will
help them in any way you can to remove any barriers there may be to getting the
help they need.
Your goal should be to gradually help the
person shift their primary focus from the perceived benefits of their use to
more of the negative consequences of their continued use. I have found that a
very effective strategy is to discuss with the person their life values and
goals and how their substance use may be compromising some of these aspirations.
Statements like: "On the one hand you say you do not have a problem in
controlling your substance use, but on the other hand your use has had these
negative consequences" may help the person begin this process.
The person needs to get a consistent message
that while you may need to do things to protect yourself and others from the
negative consequences of their use, you care about them and these are the
reasons you are concerned about their substance use. You are willing to help
them in any way you can to see that they get the treatment they need, but
ultimately it is their responsibility for deciding to make changes or not.
Understanding
Addiction and Dependency
Defining
exactly what is meant by addiction is not simple. People often associate
addiction only with alcohol or drug abuse, but it's clear that addictive
behaviors go far beyond. In fact, the key to "addiction" is an
obsessive and compulsive need or dependence upon a substance, an object, a
relationship, an activity, or a thing. Accordingly, it's both realistic and
appropriate to say that someone can be addicted to almost anything. There are
six clear indicators of an addiction:
1.
An Object of Desire. There's always
an object of desire. This is the substance, thing, activity, or relationship
that drives the addiction, whether it be alcohol, food, sex, gambling,
pornography, drugs, or anything else that sparks obsessive ideas and drives
compulsive behavior.
2.
Preoccupation. There's an obsession
with the object of desire; a need for the thing that drives the addiction.
3.
Driven Behaviors. There is a
compulsion to reduce cravings and satisfy the obsession that drives the addict's
behavior.
4.
Lack of Control. Addiction always
implies a lack of control over thoughts, feelings, ideas, or behaviors when it
comes to the desired thing. Even when addicts try to stop or cut back on
addictive behaviors, they fail. This is the hallmark and a central defining
feature of addiction and dependence.
5.
Dependence. There is a dependence on
the object of desire, physical or psychological, so only that thing can satisfy
the desire and fulfill (at least temporarily) the addict.
6.
Negative Consequences. Addiction is
always accompanied by harmful consequences.
The
Continuum of Addiction
Addicts
don't become addicted overnight. There is progression as people first engage in
the behaviors and experiences that may later become addictions, and a risk of
creating an addiction over time.
For most addictions "tolerance" is
created through repeated use, in which more and more of the substance or
activity is required to feel the emotional satisfaction that the addiction
brings. Eventually the addict has to use (or engage in the activity) just to
feel normal. This is what "dependence" truly means.
Accordingly,
there is a continuum of addiction, ranging from pre-addiction to the advanced
stages of dependence. The progression from use into addiction can be measured in
two ways:
1.
The effect that addictive behaviors
have on effective and healthy personal functioning.
2.
The intensity of cravings for the
substance, activity, relationship, or thing.
When
taken together, these two measurements can help people who engage in addictive
behaviors gauge their progression into addiction.
The Price of Addiction
In some cases, the addiction itself destroys
control and insight when under its influence. Alcohol and drugs are good
examples (and alcohol can literally destroy parts of the brain in the long run).
Some addictions, once considered entirely
normal and even desirable, are now clearly seen as problematic and increasingly
unacceptable. The most obvious example, of course, is cigarettes. Then there are
those addictions that are currently acceptable and considered benign, such as
coffee drinking. Even though caffeine is physically and emotionally addictive,
the question remains as to what and how much damage it causes, and whether it
will remain an acceptable addiction in the years to come. Addictions like this
also beg the question of what threshold must be crossed, what damage must be
caused, or what price paid before there is motivation for someone to quit the
addiction.
There are also the normal life functions and
interactions, such as eating, shopping, and sexual relationships, that lead to
patterns of addictive behaviors in some people. Here the issues are more about
self-control, regulation, and appropriate choice than quitting. In fact,
abstinence in such cases produces a different kind of addiction that can be just
as dangerous, or more so, such as anorexia.
Recognizing Addiction
The effects of addiction include behavioral,
mind altering, mood altering, and physical change. Some of these changes are
dangerous to others (for instance, drunk driving), and others dangerous only to
the addict (overeating, for example). Some addictions produce immediate or rapid
changes, and some changes appear only over extended and continuous addiction.
In some cases, the results of addiction are
almost unnoticeable: for instance, smokers and coffee drinkers don't usually
behave differently after they use. In these types of addictions, it's the
inability to engage in the addiction that produces noticeable change.
In the case of all addictions, however, the
absence of the addiction produces change. In fact, it's the emotional and often
physical discomfort and anxiety that helps to maintain and drive addiction. This
is one of those hallmarks by which addiction can be most clearly identified.
URGES and how to cope with them
When an addict or user decides to quit ding drugs or drinking they are left to
battle a whole other obstacle known as URGES. Urges can take control of a
persons thinking and daily life if they are not aware of how to handle them. To
some people the urges become so intense that they give up. Relapse then occurs because they believe they
can't function without their habit.
Keep in mind that urges, in and of themselves, are normal. We all experience cravings for different things to many degrees as functioning human beings. But due to the idea that your habit has been important to you for a long time, it is unreasonable to expect urges to never happen. In recovery I notice that I and many others measured our progress from the days sober and also how long between the urges. I also noticed that setbacks occurred from being excited about going so long without urges then suddenly getting one. (ex: having an urge to use or drink after eight months). This then causes a person in recovery to allow negative thinking to kick in. We may start thinking we are weak, overstressed, helpless, and other negative feelings.
There are many helpful tools when it comes
to coping with cravings. Whether urges are related to alcohol or
drug use, overeating, tobacco use or any habit you are attempting to change, one
particular method to learn about is the 3 D's. The D's stand for:
1. Decatastrophizing
Early in the recovery process the cravings can seem overwhelming. Everything you see can remind you of your habit. If you are a smoker, seeing an ashtray in a room may bring to mind the image of a cigarette thus creating cravings and urges. The inability to satisfy the urge can lead to frustration and inner statements like, "I can't stand this! I've been so stressed I don't think I could go much longer without a cigarette." If you drank or did drugs, urges could be triggered by certain songs, movies, places, events, holidays. The list is endless.
Remember that urges are normal and they usually decrease in intensity as time goes by. Avoid extreme adjectives like "horrible", "never", or "unbearable." Belief in horrible extremes only makes you feel worse. Ask yourself and honestly answer questions like:
Just how unbearable is your urge right now? (To accurately answer, think of truly unbearable suffering)
Is your current state as unbearable as getting 3rd degree burns over your entire body?
What have you endured which was worse than your current urge?
Did you survive? If so, does it follow that your
urge is less than unbearable and perhaps only "uncomfortable?"
2.
Disputing Expectancies
Urges are actually positive expectations. When we crave something, we expect it will create a pleasurable state, or reduce an unpleasant one. (The craving to drink a glass of soda would satisfy your thirst). You must take control of your urges.
One good way
to decrease the potency of an urge is to focus on its negative consequences. Ask
yourself questions like:
"How
will I feel later if I give in to my urges?"
"What
consequences might I suffer if I give in?"
"Will
the negatives outweigh the positives in the long run if I give in?"
Another way to cope with urges is to imagine that someone very close to you is having the urge. How would you convince them to resist?
3.
Distracting
Sometimes the only thing that can pull your thoughts away from urges is
distracting. Some urges are so relentless that talking back
to them just does not work. Distraction can be
"cognitive," in the form of some mental exercises, or
"behavioral," in the form of an alternate activity. Alternate
activities are usually the most effective, in that urges tend to occur in
environments similar to those the habit occurred in the past. If an urge feels
overwhelming, remove self from the situation.
Cognitive distraction can be very powerful as
well as convenient. You can use imagery to take your mind off particularly
powerful urges. Conjuring a pleasant place like a beach, or a raft on a lake can
help you take your mind off the urge and relax. Relaxing images are not helpful
for everyone. Some even find that relaxation increases the strength of a
craving. This makes sense. Many habits are associated with relaxation and
pleasure. If this is true for you, find some mental task that will be very
difficult to finish but is interesting and consuming. Think about developing
Mental Tapes. Examples of helpful tapes are:
- Mentally
writing the perfect epic novel or screenplay.
- Planning
the perfect vacation.
- Creating
the ideal money-making business.
- Interpreting
a dream from the night before.
- Picking
an acquaintance and trying to "figure them out."
What you choose will depend on your interests,
but the key is to make it something easy, interesting, and fun to do. Do not
choose to think about all the mistakes you've made this year;
how you could have done things differently, what a failure you are ... They may increase your urges,
especially if stress has precipitated your habit in the past. Though these
techniques may feel awkward initially, with practice they can become almost
automatic. Give them a try! What do you have to lose?
THE BEHAVIORS OF ADDICTION
There are a number of
behaviors that often accompany addiction which are not actually part of the
addiction. It's simply that addiction is so inherently anti-social that many of
these behaviors go hand-in-hand with it, required because they're needed to
maintain the addiction.
The Side Behaviors
- Denial.
Addicts often deny that there is an addiction. Denial is a way to ignore or
dismiss the idea of addiction and avoid seeing a problem. Sometimes, addicts
will acknowledge being addicted, but nevertheless dismiss the significance
of the addiction. Cigarette smoking is a good example of an addiction that
people readily acknowledge, but frequently do nothing about. They deny the
reality of the addiction. Overcoming denial is always the first step in
treatment of addictions.
- Selfishness.
Addictions make people selfish and blind them. Nothing is more important
than the addiction itself. Everything is geared towards getting the
dependence met, and the deeper into addiction the greater the selfishness.
- Covert
Behavior. Addictive behaviors eventually become a source of concern for
others. Consequently, in order to meet the needs of the addiction, addicts
often hide their behaviors from others. Addicts are often sneaky, running
the gamut from hidden drug use and illicit sex, to drinkers who hide their
alcohol, smokers who sneak cigarettes, and people who hide their eating.
- Irresponsible
and Undependable. In the throes of addiction, addicts must pay far more
attention to the needs of their addiction than the needs of anyone or
anything else. Accordingly, addicts often become unable to meet social
expectations and responsibilities, whether in school, work, relationships,
or social roles.
- Illegal
and Criminal Behaviors. Of course, many addictions are against the law in
the first place. In addition, in the case of certain addictions the addict
has to commit criminal acts in order to get the substance or engage in the
activity. Much street, computer, and white collar crime is directed toward
meeting the needs of addiction.
- Dangerous
and Risky Behaviors. Because of the antisocial, and sometimes illegal,
nature of many addictions, addicts often have to engage in dangerous
behaviors to satisfy their needs. This may mean using a dirty needle,
getting street drugs, going to an unsafe part of town, interacting with
dangerous people, or engaging in some other activity that is inherently
dangerous in order to support the addiction. And this also means using
substances like nicotine which are carcinogenic and have a major impact on
respiration and the cardiovascular system, and eating in a way that paves
the way for, and directly causes, multiple physical problems. These too are
dangerous and risky behaviors.
Paying the Price
Although these sort of behaviors or
consequences often accompany addiction, they are neither always present or
inevitable. Some addicts, in fact, are quite open about their addiction and are
not in denial at all. Neither are they in denial about the possible consequences
of their addiction. They have chosen to pay the price, although they may not
realize what their use will really cost them or others. Perhaps more to the
point, they don't care about the price. Perhaps this is a different form of
denial.
Living With Addiction
In some cases, addicts learn to live with their
addiction and find ways to met the needs of the addiction without having to give
it up and enter treatment. Others form and live in a society composed of other
addicts, and thus choose an entire life style that supports their addiction. It
is also quite possible to be addicted and have access to the desired object
without having to sneak around or engage in illegal or dangerous activities. It
depends on the addiction itself and the circumstances of the addict.
But addicts who successfully live with their
dependency represent only a small percentage of addicts. For most addicts, the
addiction eventually requires some form of underground behavior in which keeping
the addiction secret is paramount, second in importance only to the addiction
itself. Denial of the addiction is an important tool in the arsenal that keeps
addiction alive.
Hiding Addiction
Some addictions can be hidden -- you'll find
secret drinkers, heroin addicts with needle marks between their toes, and sex
addicts who live in a secret world of lovers and prostitutes. In the case of
addictions like these, many addicts try to have it both ways. They want to keep
their addiction, but have everyone think they've quit. They think just because
something is a well kept secret they won't have to pay a price. This is just
another form of denial.
Beyond Denial
The first step in recovery is getting beyond
denial -- recognizing that addiction makes life unmanageable for addicts, and
keeps them powerless. It is not possible to overcome a problem unless one first
acknowledges there is a problem!
Drugs
