Here's a big pile of random things that often make no sense. Maybe they made sense at one point. Maybe not.

I've Said Nothing

Jim Struggled With an Introduction for His Paper on Family Development that, at the Request of His Professor, Should Contain Something from Personal Experience

Twenty Names That Are More Popular Than My Own, According to 1998

Twenty Names That Are Less Popular Than My Own, According to 1998

We Ran Out of Sky

As Robust is to Vigorous

Things People Have Googled, Only to Find This Page

An Open Letter to the Guy Behind the Counter at AMF Lanes Bowling Alley in Chandler, AZ

Who's Been Posting to the New Band's Message Board

Four on the Floor and Two in Seats

Alliterates with Orange

Stories That End in Cranial Combustion, as Related to Me by Dustin, Age 10

In High School, My Chemistry Teacher Made Me Write the Sentence, "I'll Remain Quiet During Class and Speak Only When Called Upon by Raising my Hand. Others Cannot Learn If I'm Noisy" Twenty Five Times. Instead, I Wrote the Sentence One Time and Passed it Around the Class, Instructing my Fellow Students to Each Write it One Time. Here is the Paper I Eventually Turned In.

Seven Pictures I Have Never Seen

How to Win Her Over

How I Wish Basketball Players Would Respond to Loaded Questions Posed by Reporters

My Electronic Mail Correspondence With The Internet Movie Database, Regarding Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Actual Things My Students Can Circle in the �Subjects I Like to Read� Category of a Survey in the Arizona State University�s Resource Manual for Service Learning Interns

A Narrative of My Schooling, Written and Remembered by Myself

Dialogue in Which One Person Calls Another Person a Xenophobe and the Other Person Says, at One Point, "Fuck New Zealand," But Not in That Order

Boat People and Car People

If I Were to Write About my Friends the Way Jack Kerouac Wrote About His, It Would Sound Something Like This

Fading

Condition: Monday

My Electronic Mail Correspondence With Arizona State's Gamma Beta Phi Advisor

The Phrase "Fuck It," One Hundred Forty-Three Times

What's on Oprah's Book Club List These Days

Seven Short, Unconnected Blurbs Told Either in Second or Third Person

Dialogue Pertaining to Old Age, Trains, and Making Decisions

Six Rules for Writing

A Reflection of My Mother's Mother's Mother

Exclusively Using Dialogue from the NES Smash Hit The Legend of Zelda When Talking with Telemarketers.

Private Property

A Forlorn Prediction of How You're Feeling

Horoscopes

Why Plants Don't Use LiveJournals (The First in a Series)

Why Retired Couples Don't Use LiveJournals (The Second in a Series)

Why Phytoplankton Don't Use LiveJournals (The Third in a Series)

View the Reflective Essays Section

Learn about my philosophy, Trivialism

Writing Based On, Inspired By, or Directly Involving Jeremy Piven

An Alternative for the Piven-Haters, Writing Based On, Inspired By, or Directly Involving Actor Edward G. Robinson

Reviews of Rap Songs

A Note Regarding Something You Might Want to Read

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Frequently Asked Questions

Some Things You Might Be Wondering About This Site

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