...a bullet train to possibility.
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Here's a big pile of random things that often make no sense. Maybe they made sense at one point. Maybe not.
I've Said Nothing
Jim Struggled With an Introduction for His Paper on Family Development that, at the Request of His Professor, Should Contain Something from Personal Experience
Twenty Names That Are More Popular Than My Own, According to 1998
Twenty Names That Are Less Popular Than My Own, According to 1998
We Ran Out of Sky
As Robust is to Vigorous
Things People Have Googled, Only to Find This Page
An Open Letter to the Guy Behind the Counter at AMF Lanes Bowling Alley in Chandler, AZ
Who's Been Posting to the New Band's Message Board
Four on the Floor and Two in Seats
Alliterates with Orange
Stories That End in Cranial Combustion, as Related to Me by Dustin, Age 10
In High School, My Chemistry Teacher Made Me Write the Sentence, "I'll Remain Quiet During Class and Speak Only When Called Upon by Raising my Hand. Others Cannot Learn If I'm Noisy" Twenty Five Times. Instead, I Wrote the Sentence One Time and Passed it Around the Class, Instructing my Fellow Students to Each Write it One Time. Here is the Paper I Eventually Turned In.
Seven Pictures I Have Never Seen
How to Win Her Over
How I Wish Basketball Players Would Respond to Loaded Questions Posed by Reporters
My Electronic Mail Correspondence With The Internet Movie Database, Regarding Giving Credit Where Credit is Due
Actual Things My Students Can Circle in the �Subjects I Like to Read� Category of a Survey in the Arizona State University�s Resource Manual for Service Learning Interns
A Narrative of My Schooling, Written and Remembered by Myself
Dialogue in Which One Person Calls Another Person a Xenophobe and the Other Person Says, at One Point, "Fuck New Zealand," But Not in That Order
Boat People and Car People
If I Were to Write About my Friends the Way Jack Kerouac Wrote About His, It Would Sound Something Like This
Fading
Condition: Monday
My Electronic Mail Correspondence With Arizona State's Gamma Beta Phi Advisor
The Phrase "Fuck It," One Hundred Forty-Three Times
What's on Oprah's Book Club List These Days
Seven Short, Unconnected Blurbs Told Either in Second or Third Person
Dialogue Pertaining to Old Age, Trains, and Making Decisions
Six Rules for Writing
A Reflection of My Mother's Mother's Mother
Exclusively Using Dialogue from the NES Smash Hit The Legend of Zelda When Talking with Telemarketers.
Private Property
A Forlorn Prediction of How You're Feeling
Horoscopes
Why Plants Don't Use LiveJournals (The First in a Series)
Why Retired Couples Don't Use LiveJournals (The Second in a Series)
Why Phytoplankton Don't Use LiveJournals (The Third in a Series)
View the Reflective Essays Section
Learn about my philosophy, Trivialism
Writing Based On, Inspired By, or Directly Involving Jeremy Piven
An Alternative for the Piven-Haters, Writing Based On, Inspired By, or Directly Involving Actor Edward G. Robinson
Reviews of Rap Songs
A Note Regarding Something You Might Want to Read
View the Archives
Frequently Asked Questions
Some Things You Might Be Wondering About This Site