(“Rocks to Sucks Ratio" is determined by the number of times, total, each user types any form of the word “rocks” or “sucks” on the message board.)
The Girl Who Likes the Band Inasmuch as the Individual Members Provide Her with Aesthetic Satisfaction
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 7:1
The Guy Who Feels Affinity with the Band’s “Soulful and Inspiring” Lyrics of Trite Breakup and Cliché Love
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 18:5
The Antagonistic Fellow Who Doesn’t Really Like Any of the Bands in this Band’s Genre, and Feels Compelled to Let People who Are Fans of the Band Know His Disdain Through Personal Attacks and Incessant Swearing
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 3:29
The Guy Who Claims to Like the Band, Even Though Everyone Secretly Suspects He’s Really Just Lonely and Wants to Meet Girls
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 2:1
The Board Moderator Who Has Been Commissioned by the Band to Keep the Message Boarders Up to Date on Band Happenings
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: N/A (He is prohibited from using any sort of negativity)
The Old Guy Who Doesn’t Like the Way This Band Plays Because He Liked the Old Way Bands Used to Play, Back When Music Was Still Dangerous, Back Before Everyone Was in it For the Money
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 1:1 (“Rock” in its past tense form outweighed “Suck” in its past tense form 17:1)
The Guy Who Claims the Band’s First Album is the Only Thing Worthy of Purchasing and, Since the First Album, the Band has Only Been Pandering to the Corporate Machine
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 1:4
The Kid Who Doesn’t Really Have an Opinion on the Band, but is Compelled, Through Peer-Pressure, to Put on the Façade of Being a Fan
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 4:5
The Girl Who Really, Really Likes the Band and is Generally Way Too Nice, Even to the Antagonistic Fellow and the Old Guy
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 34:1
The Guy Who Responds to the Old Guy With, "Shut up, Geezer" And Leaves it At That. No One Can Determine Whether or Not This Gentleman Likes, Or Has Even Heard, the Band.
Rocks to Sucks Ratio: 0