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Tom- "D.J., plants have been around longer."
"Why don't you lick Jolly Ranchers and stick them to it; that way it will smell better." -Shaggy Schultz
Arnold- "Take it to the hole, Mary."
Mary Saluke- "I don't know how to do that!"
"I'm gonna have to learn to write with my feet." -Jill Griffo
"She doesn�t look that bad from upside down." -Shaggy Schultz
"I've always wanted to buy a hamster and force feed it until it can't walk anymore. Then, I would set it on the couch and it would just chill." -Matt Schuh
"How 'bout we buy a hamster and kill it!" -Kevin Helmick
"If you like him so much, why are you still trying to kiss me?" -Shaggy Schultz
"He is giggling and asking for pancakes." -Tom Schiller (about D.J.)
"If you ever send me a chain message again I will chop off your dick and glue it to your face...then you can walk into the cafeteria." -Shaggy Schultz
"Gatorbade." -Lauren Gray
"I don't want to put it there!" -Shaggy Schultz
"Get ready...I'm gonna push you." -Shaggy Schultz
"Eleven plus thirteen, it's your serve...You are all fucking idiots."
-Marc Pupillo (thinking that 11+13=25 in ping pong)
"I just want her to give me a lap dance and suck me off." -Shaggy Schultz
"Lauren, I would love to be one of those consoling people who would come over there and rub your back; but I'm not. So I'm just gonna stand over here and plug my ears." -Mary Saluke
"If I could, I would." -Lauren
"1-800-INYOURFACE" -saying on a random kid's shirt at soccer camp
"I'm about to break that window; then I'm going to hang out it so I can smoke." -Kevin Helmick
"Why do these taste sooooo good?!?!" -Kyle Barry
"I thought you said, 'I brought my nose.' And all I was thinking was, 'So did I!' "
-Mary Saluke
"Take my cherry...just finger it." -D.J.
"I bet swans can deep throat like a mo fo." -Shaggy Schultz
"...with ICE!!!" -Shaggy Schultz
"Stop looking at my balls!" -Shaggy Schultz
"I love girls in white pants. Give me an eight-hundred pound girl in white pants and I'd hit that all night." -Arnold Pashi
Amy Switzer - "So what's this Mike Gee kid look like?"
Mom - "Mike Gee is not a kid, he is a MAN."
"Tom thought it was bologna, so he tried to eat it." -Shaggy Schultz (talking about why he had stitches on his foot)
"All the little bitches in the room....SHUT THE FUCK UP!" -Shaggy Schultz
"Your belt looks like I shot it with a bunch of bullets." -Tom Schiller
Erin - "She's like 5'4", one hundred pounds."
Marc - "Mmmmmmmm."
"Let go you naughty, naughty grape." -Professor Hoagstrom
"Our school is religious...we have churches on campus." -Shawna Dinger
"I feel so bad for the Jews (about the Holocaust). I feel so bad for them I feel like I should marry one." -Arnold Pashi
"Give me a Natural Ice Light." -Shawna Dinger
"Marc, you're always like to me, 'Fuck you...fuck you...I've got the Zoology book...fuck you." -Adam Gatton
"I have a polar bear!" (and then the "Red Sea" of people parted for him to walk through.) -Marc Pupillo
"Tom went from sober to drunk in like five minutes. It was like he ate a down syndrome sandwich." - Marc Pupillo
"You know what sucks? When girls get older, they grow boobs. When we get older, we get hair on our ass."
-Marc Pupillo
"...seven...eight...Jesus Christ, nine..." -Scott Amstutz
Chance Baysinger- "She was trying to steal stuff from our house."
Arnold Pashi- "Did you hit her in the face?"
"I knew my role that night: I was the sloppy seconds guy." -Arnold Pashi
"Maybe I ate a piece of cardboard with blue coloring." -D.J.
"Coach, do I have to be the gofer?" -Jon "Lil' Woody" Bade
"Give me a leet." -Matt Sommer (attempting to rhyme with the word feet)
"I'm basically a slut." -Big Ben Yeater (keep in mind that Ben weighs in around 250lbs)
"I am Jaba the Slut." -Big Ben Yeater
"Did you boink her in the eye?" -Jill Griffo
"I want to be a figure skater." -Shaggy Schultz
"That kid is a pud. He even makes me look straight." -Shaggy Schultz
D.J.- "I am Eric Patton..."
Marc- "...and I am GAY!!!"
"How did I just get ripped on for not being gay?" -Shaggy Schultz
"I just want to say to all of those girls that used to be pretty, 'Stop eating and stop drinking beer because you've gotten fat and nobody wants to touch you.' " -Marc Pupillo
"That guy must like to have stick-person sex." -Marc Pupillo
D.J.- "Erin, what language are you speaking?"
Shaggy- "Bitch."
"I wanna toss it!" -Marc Pupillo
"Ramen, Ragu Express, Easy Mac: those three are at the opposite ends of the taste spectrum...yet they are all noodles." -D.J.
Tom- "I do too have cultural diversity."
D.J. & Shaggy- "Yeah, we know...black and Mexican."
"Sure, make fun of the guy with the involuntary bulimia. That's real cool." -Marc Pupillo
"All right, fart knocker!" -Marc Pupillo
"The late bursting bubble theory: you can fart but the person right behind you can cut right through it and not smell it, but then the bubble explodes and all the people behind you are falling down, women are screaming, babies are crying, and plants are welting." -Marc Pupillo
"She says that she likes me but doesn�t want to be with me. That's like saying I'm fat." -Adam Gatton
"Sometimes the ball is green, sometimes the ball is blue. What are you going to do?" -Marc Pupillo
"Yes!!! Wooohoooo!!!!!" -Adam Gatton (About the Family Feud coming on.)
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