Unfuckingfortunately, I had to spend New Year's Day 2005 working, but it was the only job that I have left, thanks to Cathy that fucking cunt who unjustifiably fired m back on July 22, 2003.  At least 2005 is getting started with Radio K having a new show that plays industrial and Goth music, so that is pretty cool!  I also went to Balls Cabaret on New Year's night.  I didn't perform, but went through with a ritual in which I burn something on fla

sh paper on what I want to get rid of in 2005 and bring into my life in 2005.  At this point, I am not sure if it is OK to talk about this, because it may not work, but it has something to do with the shit that I have been talking about that I want to get rid of so dam fucking bad as well as bringing things into my life that I need in order to not just survive, but be happy.

    Leslie Ball invited me to an birthday party event at the theater that I perform at on January 3, while I was wearing my "ask me about my penis" shirt and told me that I can't wear that shirt there because someone is bringing teenage girls there and shit like that.  Again, breeding being used as an excuse to take away free speech, which is 1 of the many reasons that I hate it so much.  I was rather upset after hearing that shit.  Leslie did mention that she didn't mean to sound rude to me, but she didn't object to the shirt so much personally, but she was a little bit paranoid and promised this guy Jeff who is charge of the theater that people from Balls would be well behaved during the event.  I did go there on January 3 and there were a lot of people performing and I wasn't that impressed with most of them because it was traditional dances and ballets and shit like that and there was jazz music played during 1 of the dances and jazz sucks, but I did like a the Salsa performances.  I decided to go because there was free food there.  It was all junk food like cake, cookies and Tortilla chips, but I had plenty to munch on and that was cool.  There was also wine there.  I think that Leslie objected to that because she probably wanted a sober event.  The problem is I had some wine and I only had 3 cups and it hit me pretty hard.  He said "hard" HA HA HA!

    The 1st poetry slam of 2005 was on January 11.  I have been taping every thing that I have been doing at poetry slams since September 2004 because I plan to put it on my new CD called, Do You Think I'm feisty. I really wasn't sure what topic to go with during 2005's 1st poetry slam.  I was thinking about talking about my opinion of the death penalty.  I also really wanted to go into a rant regarding the recent earthquake and tsunami events in Asia and mention that Mother Earth caused it because she wants to get even with humans for being too stupid and being too fucking stupid to stop breeding so much, however, people still believe that it is a "miracle" when I woman spreads her legs and lets a man shoot his sperm inside her cunt and fucking is "bad", but it becomes so fucking good if a woman gets knocked up. Mother Earth did an excellent job of helping rid the planet of hundreds of thousands of human parasites that day!  Also, lots of women sure know how to spread their legs and men know how to shoot their sperm inside her cunt, but they are too fucking stupid to build a fucking infrastructure.  Most major disasters, like earthquakes, floods and tsunamis almost always occur in shit infested 3rd world countries and people still haven't learned that Mother Earth will take those human parasites off the face of the Earth, like a bad case of fleas!  Not even the so called "alternative" media is willing to notify people of things like this because I think outside the box!

    I decided not to go with that subject, but plan to go with that later on this year in a future poetry slam because I already have my story about the aborted fetuses on the CD as well as my hurricane rant also includes bringing up breeding.  I decided to talk about gulf war II and unfuckingfortunately, the judges gave me the worst score that I had ever gotten on a poetry slam, which means that I didn't make it to the 2nd round and that fucking sucks, but then again, if I get the worst score, maybe I should be proud of myself for being so willing to tell it like it is!  Also, January 18, 2005 was the 1 year anniversary of when I read my things about bullying in schools and police brutality and sexual psychopaths in the police department at the League of Pissed off Voters and some fucking assholes heckled me and they turned the microphone off on me trying to deprive me my right to free speech because what I said offended a lot of people.  Too fucking bad! Since then I discovered that the reason why these so called "liberals" reacted the way they did because they are not real cool, open minded or tolerant people that they claimed to be.  I discovered that they are the common people and that's what I decided to talk about during my 1st spoken words performance at Balls in 2005!  There was a gay guy who was at Balls who heard me do my thing and get heckled at the League of Pissed off Voters that night.  I don't think that he remembered and he told me that it was the best thing he ever heard me do! I also mentioned my friend Joon and I did that piece just 4 days before leaving for my trip to Atlanta to visit Joon.  

    I wasn't sure if I should fly or drive to Atlanta, but I decided to drive for many different reasons.  For 1 major reason, if I booked a flight to leave by a certain time, I would need to have everything packed and ready to go and if I wasn't ready, I would miss the plane and then I would be fucked.  Also the airfares were pretty cheap, but I wanted to take my cat with and the fucking bastards charge $80 each way to bring a cat on the plane.  Also, thanks to our fascist government harassing a lot of people over this hysteria over "terrorism" has caused me to dread flying.  

    I guess that it's a good thing that I decided not to fly or I might have ended up missing the plane.   I wanted to leave for Atlanta by late in the afternoon on January 26, but as for usual, things had to fuck up and go wrong.  Just like when I went to the Chicago area in October 2004, I wanted to experience the joy of having a computer with a DVD burner and bring lots of DVDs with me and show a lot of cool movies to Joon with the hopes that I could play movies that I copied onto their DVD player.  I was lucky enough for the DVDs to work on Tony's DVD player.  Of course things fucked up and at the last minute, not all the CDs and DVDs that I wanted to make were burned, so I was doing all that shit at the last minute.  I put a lot of movies and TV shows on CDs as a plan "B" in case the DVD player would not play the movies and I could watch the movies on Andy and Joon's computer, instead.  Also, the movies had to go onto CDs because Andy did not have a DVD player on his computer.  To make matters fucking worse, I couldn't find a couple of the CDs that I wanted to take with and I had to spend so much time looking for them and to no fucking avail.  I spent so much fucking time the few days before I left for Atlanta looking for all kinds of shit that I could not fucking find and that fucking sucks and I wasn't able to find most of it either.  I also had to clean my apartment before I left, which took lots of fucking time incase someone from the building management had to come into the apartment and give me shit if the apartment was too dirty.  I had to vacuum at 1:00 in the morning on January 27 and the guy who lives downstairs is an uptight fucking asshole and he started banging on the floor while I was vacuuming. That fucking asshole even has bitched about me walking around at night and he is 1 of these fucking assholes who don't think it's normal for people to stay up all night.  He can go fuck himself!  Another thing is there was a leak behind my toilet and I couldn't deal with having someone come in to fix it.  It would have been a major infuckingconvienance dealing with someone coming in when I had to deal with getting prepared for a trip.

    I finally left for my journey to Atlanta at 3:45AM on January 27.  Only 12 fucking hours overdue!  During my trip, I would face the horrors of worrying about that fucking bastard reporting me to the landlord for waking him up by vacuuming at 1:00 in the morning and I would have to worry about someone finding out that I failed to report the leak behind the toilet.  It wasn't real serious.  A serious leak would cause the ceiling in the apartment that that fucking asshole lives in to lead and it would cause the water bill for the landlord to add up significantly and the fucking bastards said that a tenant will face a substantial fine for failing to report a water leak in the apartment.  The leak wasn't serious enough to add that much to their water bill or bad enough to leak into the apartment downstairs, but I had to worry about them finding out or it getting worse during my trip and it fucking sucks to worry about shit when I go on a vacation, but if I didn't have to worry about something, then life wouldn't suck.

    For the most part, the winter of 2004/2005 had above normal temperatures, thanks to global warming and it only got very cold for a few days during January 2005 and there was only 1 major snowstorm at that point during the winter on January 21.  A cold front was arriving just as I was leaving during the early morning hours on January 27 and it was 14 out.  By the time I got to southeastern Minnesota, it had gotten down to 0°.  There was still a lot of snow left on the ground from the snowstorm on January 21, even though a lot of it melted because of above normal temperatures and thawing the last couple of days before I left.  I was very curious about how far south I would get before there wouldn't be any snow left on the ground?  Not very far south!  There was still a lot of snow left on the ground once I got into Illinois. I passed about 75 miles to the west of the Chicago area and that was the dividing line between snow on the ground and patches of snow on the ground.  The further south I got, the fewer patches of snow on the ground I saw.  I saw a couple of patches of snow on the ground up to within 30 miles of St. Louis and then there was no snow on the ground until I got to Atlanta of all places.  More on that shortly!  For the most part, there were scattered patches of snow on the ground up til Bloomington/Normal, Illinois, but after that, they were very few and far between and no snow left at all on the ground once I got within 30 miles of St. Louis.

     I arrived in St. Louis, just in time for rush hour on January 27 and the traffic was fucking horrible.  When I got into St. Louis, I wanted to say in Interstate 55 and head towards Memphis, but I ended up in a fucking exit only lane taking me onto Interstate 44, which is not where I wanted to go and no one would let me in to change lanes and ended up driving onto the shoulder with very little space between a wall and a fucking semi truck.  It's a good thing that I didn't have an accident.  I continued heading south until I got to Cape Girardeau, Missouri when I noticed that I was getting very tired and I started falling asleep while driving.  That was because I had about 5 minutes of sleep the night before.   I had to pull off and sleep in the car while in the parking lot of Best Buy for about an hour.  After I woke up, I noticed that Cape Girardeau has a major university and I decided to check it out and see if I could use the library and use the Inter-net.  Thankfully I was able to, but unfuckingfortunately, I couldn't stay long because I was running out of time.  Even though there wasn't much snow on the ground in Illinois, it was still cold there and windy.  Not as cold as Minnesota, but still cold, especially with the wind chills.  It was around 7:30PM when I arrived in Cape Girardeau and it was around 30°, which was a little warmer and it wasn't as windy.  I decided to stop in West Memphis, Arkansas.  The same place where 3 teenagers were accused and convicted of murdering a young boy and the only evidence they used to convict them is they liked to listen to cool industrial and goth music.  That is total fucking bullshit.  You can read more about it by going to free West Memphis 3 website to find out what fucking bullshit this is.  I got to West Memphis, Arkansas at around 12:30AM on January 28.  By the time I got there, the temperature warmed up to 38°.  It is a lot more interesting to travel in the south during the winter than the summer when it's too fucking hot out.  When I was in school, I was only able to travel during the summer when the weather was too fucking hot out, instead of other times of the year when it was cooler and that really fucking pissed me off!

    I went into Memphis at around noon on January 28.  The temperature warmed up to be around 43° and it started raining.  I wanted to check out Memphis before heading on towards Atlanta.  I went by Graceland.  I really ain't that crazy about Elvis, but I wanted to see the outside of Graceland.  It costs money to take a tour and I said "fuck that."  I spent a huge chunk of my time being lost in Memphis, but I was able to eat at Ryan's, which is an all-you-can-eat buffet with very good food and I never get to eat at enough buffets and unfuckingfortunately, they don't have Ryan's where I live.  The downtown part of Memphis along the Mississippi River looks interesting, and they are even building trolley lines, but I don't think that I would want to live there.  

     It took until 8:00 before I was able to leave Memphis, thanks to being lost and shit traffic.  It was raining during most of the time while I was driving towards Atlanta, but I would soon discover that it would be worse than that.  I got to Birmingham, Alabama at around 11:30PM and I called Andy and Joon to touch base with where I was.  They told me that Atlanta was in the midst of a major ice storm, which included sleet and freezing rain and it was the worst ice storm to hit Atlanta since they moved there in 2002.  Lucky me!  If I travel during the winter, I will get caught in a major ice storm, but if I travel during any other time of the year, the weather will be too fucking hot, even in November, like in November 2003!  It was all rain when I was in Birmingham.  Once I got to 50 miles to the east of Birmingham, I started noticing some snow mixed in with the rain and by the time I got within a few miles to the Georgia state line, the road was covered in ice and the conditions were horrible.  Worse yet, they don't salt the roads in the south during ice and snow storms.  It was worse than any snow or icestorm that I drove through in Minnesota or the Chicago area.  The fastest that I could drive was 30 miles an hour without the risk of having a major spinout and/or accident.  Despite that, there were still a lot of fucking assholes passing me at 60 miles an hour.  Of course, they are the ones who will end up in a ditch.  Also, the ice was starting to stick to the windshield and the windshield wipers weren't enough to take the snow and ice off.  That was a very stressful experience. Because I was only able to drive 30 miles an hour, it took until 5:30 in the morning on January 29 before I arrived in Atlanta, but at least I made it without having an accident.

    Later that day, it didn't warm up that much and it was very difficult to walk on all that ice without falling down.  That's what happens when you don't salt or sand anything.  At least they salt the sidewalks, parking lots and streets in Minnesota and the Chicago area, which makes it at least possible to walk around.  By Sunday January 30, most of the ice melted off the sidewalks and streets.  Also, me and Joon went to a Chinese buffet on January 30.  Joon likes it, but I think it was OK, but not as good as I would like it to be.  At least the prices were reasonable.

     Unfuckingfortunately, I experienced a lot of disappointments during my visit to Atlanta.  For 1 thing Andy and Joon ran into financial problems because Andy has had a difficult time holding down jobs and they had their Internet turned off and as of late June 2005, they still don't have the Internet  How can anyone stand not having the Internet Being without the Internet fucking sucks!  Also, before I went to Atlanta, I rented and burned a lot of DVDs that I wanted to show to Joon.  Unfuckingfortunately, none of them would play in their DVD player, except for 1 gay porno film, but Andy didn't want to watch that and Joon didn't want to watch that because there weren't any fat men the movie.  I was hoping to show some other movies on the computer, but Andy didn't have a DVD drive on the computer, although, I had some movies on CD, but Andy didn't have the driver to the sound card installed and he didn't know where the CD that had the driver was.

     There were some good things that happened during my visit to Atlanta.  On Tuesday February 1, Andy found the driver to the sound card, so I could show movies to Joon, but Andy didn't have any speakers for the computer, but he did have a pair of headphones, but only 1 pair of headphones.  I showed Joon a couple of Alex Jones's videos.  I showed her Alex Jones-911 Road to Tyranny. It talked about how the World Trade Center was blown up by the government themselves and that there really isn't much difference between the Democrats and Republicans.  They are both controlled by the same global crime syndicate and both the Democrats and Republicans are full of shit and all they care about is power and control.  I also showed Joon Alex Jones-Dark Secrets inside Bohemian Grove, which is a place where our political leaders, including George W Bush go along with rich powerful corporate assholes along with the global crime syndicate for 2 weeks, usually at the end of July and they worship Satan and have gay sex.  Alex Jones was the only person who was able to sneak in with a video camera and videotape 1 of the rituals that goes on in there.  Joon was kind of disappointed with the Bohemian Grove film because it was redundant and it didn't show any of the gay sex that goes on in there, but someone else took a couple of pictures of those "conservative" men wearing dresses.  Joon did say that she isn't surprised that our "world leaders" do the kind of shit that Alex Jones mentions in the Bohemian Grove film.  They are a bunch of corrupt evil fucking assholes, hypocrites and liers.  As I said before, the thing that bothers me about Alex Jones is he is a born again Christian and he is against abortion and I still believe that abortion is 1 of the most beautiful things in the world!

    Another good thing that happened while I was in Atlanta is I got to go with Joon to eat at a place called Ryan's, which was located in Duluth, Georgia, which is a long way from where Joon lives, but it is an all-you-can eat buffet, so it was worth the trip!  Yes, I ate at a Ryan's during my trip down to Atlanta in Memphis.  I was so happy while I was stuffing my face with all that food while I was at Ryan's.  As I said before, unfuckingfortunately, there ain't no Ryan's where I live.  Also, when I go out to eat with Joon, we have conversation about weird and sick things like graphic sex and bowel movements.  Speaking of bowel movements, Joon was constipated during the time of my visit to Atlanta, but while we were at Ryan's, she had a strong urge to take a shit, so she went into the bathroom and she was able to shit successfully.  Gee, very few women are willing to talk about things like this, but most women are prissy cunts and Joon refuses to be prissy.  I used to talk about sexually explicit things when I went out with my parents.  I remember in September 1983 when we were coming back from a vacation to Florida and we stopped at a Duff's in Murphresborro, Tennessee when I saw an ugly old man and it looked like he had a hardon.  At that exact same time, my parents were talking very quietly about something and I asked what they were talking about.  My mother said "nothing", but obviously they were talking about something and I asked them if they were talking about the guy who had a hard-on and my parents were mad as hell at me for bringing something like that up (no pun intended!) in a public place!  My mother is willing to talk about taking a shit, but she is very serious and "mature" about it and of course she told me that the only time of day that "normal" people take a shit is in the morning right after eating breakfast.

     I spoke at total of 3 open mikes while I was in the Atlanta area, but 2 of them were at the same place.  I spoke at an open mike on Sunday January 30 and I did my thing about how to get Jesus to love you.  I got a lot laughs while I did that 1 and it was the most laughs that I had ever gotten at an open mike in the Atlanta area.  I was so happy that things went over so good.  At that open mike, I found out about another open mike that was going to be held on February 4.  I found out that that open mike was being held at a Barnes and Noble, which caused a red flag to come up because behind pretending to be so enlightened, I have heard of open mikes at other Barnes and Nobles and they don't allow people to use profanity and don't even allow people to talk about "inappropriate" subject matter.  To make matters worse, the guy who hosted it was a fat gay go who turned out to be an uptight judgmental conformist fucking prick and mentioned that "this is a family place" and no one is allowed to use swear words.  I went up and decided to do part I of my autobiography that I did at Balls in February 2004.  I even decided to take the swear words out, but that fucking prick still cut me off and told me that I was taking too long, but even without the swear words, the real reason that he cut me off is because my writing style is non-conformist and different from other people and he was very judgmental of me.  With that in mind, I hope he ends up getting colon cancer!  That fucking motherfucker piece of fucking shit!  Sorry, if someone mistreats me, I will hate their fucking guts.  I hope that the saying is true, what comes around goes around and I hope that every single person who has ever fucked with me, will 1 day pay the price for it!  Unfuckingfortunately, I am hardly ever around to see it happen!  The other open mike was at the same place as the 1 I went to on January 30.  Unfuckingfortunately, the guy who hosted that mentioned to only go for about half the time as usual because they were going to have a featured speaker.  I was so worried about him turning out to be a prick and cutting me off.  I did decided to do my piece about how to get a job and I did condense it down, but I didn't take out the swear words and I was able to get through it without getting cut off.  It didn't go over as good as the piece I read on how to get Jesus to Love you and Joon mentioned that some fucking cunt had a very dirty look on her face while I was reading that.

    At least the weather wasn't too fucking hot during my visit to Atlanta.  It was kind of cold much of the time.  My 1st day there, January 29 was the same day as that ice storm and the high temperature didn't even make it above freezing.  On February 4, which were the last 4 days that I was in Atlanta, the high temperature was in the 50s and the warmest it got while I was there was 58.  The weather in Atlanta during early February is nicer than it is in Florida when it is often too fucking hot out and not freezing cold like in Minnesota.

   Unfuckingfortunatley, February 8 came way too fucking soon and I had to leave Atlanta.  It was 52° when I left around 9:00 that morning and it felt like the temperature was in the 60s as I went through Tennessee and Kentucky, but by the time I got to northern Kentucky, it started getting cold and the temperatures were only in the 30s.  I stopped to eat at a Ponderosa in Hendersonville, Kentucky, which has an all-you-can eat buffet salad bar, but it isn't quite as good as Ryan's.  Hendersonville is just south of Evansville, Indiana, which is a college town and I stopped there briefly to use the Internet at the school library, but I had to make it to the Chicago area before it got late.  I made it to the Chicago area, just before midnight and Tony wanted me to come over, but I was so fucking tired.  I decided to sleep for a couple of hours and come by at 2:30 in the morning for awhile, but I had to check out of the motel by noon on February 9.  My visit to the Chicago area was more of a downer than something I could enjoy because I had to go back home and that fucking sucks.  There was no snow on the ground all the way from Atlanta up until when I got about 50 miles south of the Chicago area when I noticed that there were patches of snow left on the ground.  I brought over the DVDs I burned and most of them were able to play on Tony's DVD player, but they weren't able to play on Joon and Andy's DVD player and that fucking sucked.  It also started snowing lightly while I was driving to and from Tony's place.  It didn't snow heavy, but it was enough to make the roads slick.

   I left Tony's place 10:30PM on February 9 to go back home.  I noticed more and more patches of snow on the ground as I went further north in Illinois and unfuckingfortunately, I can't remember, but I think it was either right after I got into Wisconsin or extreme northern Illinois before I noticed the ground being completely snow covered.  Fuck!  I wish that I could remember.  By the time I got to the Wisconsin Dells, I was getting fucking tired and had to sleep in the car for about an hour, but it wasn't easy because it was cold out, but it was enough to charge me up, so I could drive the rest of the way home without falling asleep at the wheel.

    I got home at around 9AM on February 10 and coming home from a trip is so fucking stressful, especially when I could find out about something horrible happening.  I had to worry about that fucking asshole who banged on the fucking ceiling in the apartment below me on the day that I left when I was vacuuming at 1:00 in the morning.  I was worried about getting a notice from my landlord regarding that shit, but thankfully there wasn't.  I was worried about that fucking leak behind the toilet getting worse and getting so bad that it would leak into that fucking prick's apartment who bitched about me vacuuming and walking around at night.  The toilet had completely stopped leaking.  Unfuckingfortunately, it started up 2 days after I got home.  I was hoping that the cold weather and cold water going through the pipe from outside was causing condensation, which may have been and what I hoped to be the cause of the leak.  Unfuckingfortunately, the leak continued after the weather got warm and it was getting worse and worse.  By April 25, it was leaking so bad, I had to call someone from the building management and get that fucking thing fixed.  I was so worried that they would bitch about mold in the bathroom and my place being dirty and shit like that.  Well, they came by to fix it 10 minutes after I called and that ordeal of crud was overwith.

    I fucking hate it so much when a vacation comes to an end.  It doesn't suck as much as it did when I lived in Florida, but I fucking hate it when a vacation comes to an end because I never know for sure when the next 1 will be and I am fucking worried about running out of money.  Since losing that inventory job in July 2003 because of that fucking cunt, Cathy, my income is way down and the amount of money spent on bills is greater than the amount of money I bring in with income.  I have been trying mystery shopping and things got quite active in January a couple of weeks before I went to Atlanta, but they bitched about my commentary not matching the multiple choice questions, spelling and grammar and shit like that.  I didn't get that much with assignments in February, but I actually took 1 in the Atlanta area at a tanning salon and that audit went over pretty good and I had 1 at a restaurant after getting back to Minnesota.  Things got active again in March 2005 and things got fucking worse.  They bitched about my commentary being "inappropriate" because I didn't mention the facts and threatened to not accept my audits in which I wouldn't get paid and I feared that I would even end up losing this job, which would totally fucking suck.  I listened to their advice, but they still bitched when I did a mystery shop at a restaurant on April 5.  They docked my pay because I didn't visit the pissing pot.  They also bitched because I mentioned that the guy working behind the counter was Hispanic and that would be offensive.  Part of all that stupid PC fucking bullshit that I hate so much.  I am considering doing a spoken words performance on what I would like to say on an audit in the future.  It will be quite nasty and explicit!   If that's not enough fucking shit, on March 10, I was told that I won't be able to shop at a restaurant again because I ordered the same thing that I did when I shopped there in January said just about the same thing in my written commentary and said that I didn't like a smoky and noisy environment.  That made March 10 1 of the worst days of 2005, so far.  Since then, I have had better luck with audits, but I have had far fewer of them as well.

    I don't know which day of this year will be worse so far.  March 10 or March 28 and March 2005 really turned out to be a shit month and the worst month of this year, so far.  After I decided not to go to Marie's atheist group in September 2003 because she turned out to be a judgmental fucking cunt who was intolerant of my right to free speech, I decided to give the other atheist group a chance that met at the same restaurant that had the happy hour buffet.  On March 28 I went to that atheist group wearing a shirt that says "ask me about my penis"There was a woman who walked up to the table we were sitting at and she asked me to tell her about my it (my penis) and wanted to know why I was wearing that shirt and wanted to know where I got it? I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I just told her that the shirt is just a joke and used for humor and I got the shirt in Chicago, which is where I did get it.

    Now this woman at the group, whose name I do not know, but I will refer to her as fascist cunt bitch. This is not the same group that is run by Marie who I talked about in 2003 is also a fucking cunt who tried to take away my right to free speech. After that woman approached me asking about the shirt, fascist cunt bitch looks briefly and says, “Oh it’s 1 of those shirts” and says nothing else until she leaves. Her husband Tom is also a fucking asshole. Anyway, just before fascist cunt bitch leaves, she says to me, “if you ever where a shirt like that again, you are not sitting at the same table with me. I find that to be very insulting and embarrassing.” Then her fucking asshole husband Tom responds by saying, “that is very disrespectful and embarrassing.” Then they walked away leaving me in an extreme state of shock, disbelief and even speechless and walking away without giving me a chance to respond, which was a very cowardly thing to do, I might add. I thought that I was attending a meeting of an atheist group, not the Moral Majority! So much for open-minded tolerant atheists.

      There were only a total of 3 people at this group, not including me, which included fascist cunt bitch, her fucking asshole husband Tom and some other guy who is a stuck up pretentious asshole who never bother to talk to me, which made me outnumbered and there are usually a couple of other people who show up. I get the dreadful feeling that those people would be on fascist cunt bitches side. Fascist cunt bitch is also a feminazi as well. I will refer to her as fcb, to save me some time from typing, but referring to her as fascist cunt bitch is a lot more fun. The difference between this group than Marie’s group is the people have turned out to be even bigger assholes than at Marie’s group. I wore a similar type of “offensive” t-shirt at Marie’s group that says, “Mean People Suck, Nice People Swallow” and Marie said that it is because I wore that T-shirt which is why I had recently been fired from my job because she's a fucking cunt, even though I never even wore that T-shirt to my fucking job, but at least Marie didn’t tell me that I can’t wear it and I don’t know if that shirt would be considered to be not as bad as “Ask me About my Penis” or not, but I guess it all depends on what kinds of ideas of bullshit that people get indoctrinated into believing with their brains of total stupidity and bullshit. Marie did try to stop me from showing something that I had written on 1 of my spoken words performances to someone and that really fucking pissed me off.

This is not the 1st time that I was pissed off at fcb. I started going to the “alternative” to Marie's group in September 2003 and in November of 2003 fcb mentions that the government is being too lenient not doing enough to “protect” children from sex. At that point a big red flag came up telling me that she’s a fucking cunt and I really started to hate her. Then a few months later fcb talks about how a man is 100% responsible for causing unwanted pregnancies and the man should be required to pay the expenses for taking care of her fucking brat and she mentions that a woman should take 0% of the responsibility for getting pregnant and if the man is not willing to pay most of the expenses for taking care of a child, then he shouldn’t have sex. At that point, red flag #2, strike 2, fcb is even a bigger fucking cunt than I had already thought of her. Then on March 28, 2005, fcb goes fucking apeshit over my shirt, strike 3, the final nail in the coffin, she’s a total fucking piece of shit cunt! I only hope that my T-shirt upsets her so much, that it will cause her to get cancer. She deserves it! It’s people like her who have ruined my life and have caused my blood pressure to be high!

Meanwhile, I started to hate Tom last May when he got in my face about eating too many chicken wings. Is that any of his fucking business? He then actually said this, “I would be afraid to have any chickens around you.” That gave me the impression that Tom is a stuck up narrow-minded judgmental fucking asshole. This other fucking asshole then said “don’t they feed you at home”, whatever the fuck that means. A lot of atheists are involved in Toastmasters. I don’t have experience to pass official judgment, however I get the feeling that it is a bunch of bullshit. I have a strong inkling that it needs to be pc communication! People have told me that the things I talk about in my spoken words performances would not go over very well in a toastmasters performance. Toastmasters is very big, they are everywhere and unfuckingfortunately most things that are everywhere, suck. Also, I went to an introductory meeting regarding a gay toastmasters group because they had free ice cream and I will go anywhere where there is free food! It gave me the impression that it is very PC on what people can and can’t talk about. They mentioned that after joining a group, that the 1st couple of performances will involve introducing yourself and shit like that and then go on to do a couple of other things to talk about. After that, I will get, I think they call it a sponsor, but I could be wrong, but someone will mention how I can “improve” on how I can talk better. I assume that it would involve taking out the profanity and any other material that he or she would find objectionable? Again, I could be wrong about my feelings towards toastmasters, but I get the dreadful feeling that I ain’t.

    I don’t even want to go to any of these fucking groups anymore after going through this shit!  I would be better off by putting my time and energy on people who are open minded, not a bunch of fucking assholes, but where do I find people who are cool? There are so few of them in the world, which is 1 of the many reasons that I love abortion so much.

   I will never forget back in 1981 when I saw everything in black and white, liberal/conservative, left wing/right wing, but since then I met a lot of so called “liberals” who have turned out to be total fucking assholes. I have met so many so called “liberals” who want to outlaw all pornography, ban rock music that is considered “offensive” and not allow anyone to say anything that they happen to disagree with. Instead of liberal/conservative, I now place people in 4 categories.

1. People who are extreme assholes
2. People who are common assholes.
3. People who are somewhat cool, but have a tendency to be assholes at times
4. People who are extremely cool

This list will be open to revising and is subject to change. Fcb is now in the extreme asshole category which is no different from a Christian fundamentalist conservative asshole, which is why liberal/conservative, right wing/left wing is a false paradigm of meaningless fucking bullshit.

    It was on December 1, 2004 when I got my 2nd paid spoken words performance and thanks to the bullshit that I had just gone through with that fucking cunt from the atheist group over wearing the "ask me about my penis" T-shirt and I was heckled when I did my 1st spoken words performance by a rude uptight narrow minded overreactionary cunt, I was getting increasingly apprehensive as April 8 was drawing nearer.  As much as I hate censorship with a fucking passion, I had to refrain from doing my most extreme, nastiest and controversial stuff, but do something that would still be very cool without losing my unique edge and talking about something that I feel very strongly about, so on April 8, I decided to do my rant against therapists, which would shock and horrify a lot of people, but not be as extreme as some of the other stuff that I have done.  On April 8, I decided to go by doing my rant against therapists, but even though it was somewhat tamer than other stuff that I have done, it was kind of a pro-therapy crowd, which would fuck with the mindset that they have been indoctrinated to believe.  Surprisingly, my performance went over quite well and I got a lot of laughs as well!  On April 9, I decided to do my piece about 4 more years of Hell, which I read at Balls in November 2004 after George W Bush was able to steal the election again and I also decided to read my piece called Return of the Living Dead Fetuses.  I am afraid that it didn't go over as good as what I read on April 8, but there were people who were cool and told me that they like it and I was able to get through it without being heckled.  Sara (the host at PC) told me that she liked and agreed with most of what I said during my rant against therapists, but I don't think that she liked the 4 more Years of Hell as much along with Return of the Living Dead Fetuses as much.  Sara also decided to step down as being host of that place, so I will have to deal with someone else when I try to get my 3rd spoken words performance there.

    I also had to work my job at the enema store on April 9 and although I was lucky on April 8 to get through my performance without being attacked by any assholes, I was still apprehensive and worried about getting through April 9 without any problems.  Also I didn't get enough sleep the night before and I felt like shit that day.  Then I got a customer who was an uptight fucking asshole try to get my in trouble

    My 2nd performance at Balls in 2005 was on February 13 less than 72 hours after I got home from Atlanta and even though it fucking sucks when a vacation comes to an end, it is nice to share my sick vision of the world and considering that people throw up and get diarrhea more often during the month of February than any other month of the year, I decided to do a repeat of what I originally did on July 14, 2002, which was about getting sick, which includes a graphic description of what it's like to get diarrhea!  The next thing I did at Balls was on March 13 which was about my experience with different drugs but unfuckingfortunatley, I didn't have enough time to cover a lot of it, so I mainly talked about my experiences with alcohol.  It didn't seem to go over as well as I was hoping that it would.  Also Leslie Ball mentioned, "the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Balls management" and I think that she said that because it sounded to be a bit too "pro drug" because it was less explicit than many of the other things that I have talked about.  On April 17, I did my piece on my experience with different drugs part II and once again Leslie Ball mentioned that "the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Balls Management, but it did go over better than my experience with drugs part I.  I decided to do another repeat on May 15 at Balls which is about finding the right bathroom to take a shit in when you go on vacation.  It had just so happened that Leslie Ball had a colonosophy the same week that I did that, but seeing that I talked about taking a shit, she decided that she was going to wait until the next week to talk about it!   The next thing I did at Balls was about what Mother Earth wants, which will probably go down as the most offensive and controversial thing I have ever talked about, yet.  It was a major rant about how pissed I am at humans for ruining the fucking planet by breeding, but they hate sex and what I said about the tsunami will probably go down as the most "offensive" thing I have ever said, so far.  That fucking cunt from the atheist group who went fucking apeshit because I wore the "ask me about my penis shirt, helped inspire me to do my thing about what mother Earth wants because people like her only cause me to keep getting more and more militant!  I read that on the same night that someone brought his cat in and Leslie Ball mentioned that the cat was horrified when I mentioned the word "castration" and once again mentioned that "the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Balls Management."  It kind of bugs me that she says that because she doesn't say that after someone else performs.  I hate the month of July because the weather is too fucking hot out and the weather during July 2005 was fucking horrible.  I also can't perform at balls during the month of July because most of the month is reserved for the Fringe Festival and that fucking sucks.  My next performance at balls was on August 14 and I decided to talk about how I feel about the death penalty, which I have mixed feelings about and Leslie Ball didn't mention that "the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of balls management and the reason she probably didn't say that is she at least agreed with part of what I said. Leslie Ball heckled me (in a good way) when I mentioned that I was glad that former Governor George Ryan of Illinois commuted the death sentence of all death row inmates in Illinois.  There was a guy in a wheel chair who really enjoyed hearing what I had to say.  What was interesting is even though parts of what I talked about were supposed to be funny and in bad taste, the people who liked it seemed to be those who were heavy into political issues and not so much into comedy.  That hasn't been something that I experienced too often.  The next thing I did at balls was on September 25 and speaking of the "ask me about my Penis" shirt, I did a rant regarding what happened on March 28, 2005 when that fucking piece of shit fucking cunt gave me so much shit about wearing that shirt.  I decided not to link what I said, because it is very similar to what I said on this page when I talk about March 28 being the worst day of this year.  The only thing that I did differently is I mentioned that a lot of atheist groups fit into what some might call a post modern "leftist" mentality, which means they likely share the same PC beliefs of many other leftists. I really hate it when conservatives call these people "liberal." They are not liberal in any honest sense of the word. They seem to have a zeal for control that's very similar to ultra-conservatives -- they just want to control different things. As far as I'm concerned, they can take their politically correct bullshit dictating to people on what they can say or what kind of shirts someone can wear and they can stick it up their ass! I can no longer trust the political and philosophical labels people give themselves. I get a more accurate impression of people; such as whether they believe strongly in individual rights and autonomy and whether they think the rights of the individual should supersede the wishes of communities and groups.  That is why most people in groups are fucking assholes.  I am getting more and more to the point of having respect for people who believe in the rights and happiness of individuals, not a bunch of clicky fucking assholes who are so weak minded that they are willing to let any group control them and they are incapable of forming the own opinion, so they can have a feeling of "acceptance" by a bunch of phony stuck up assholes.  I was worried about how Leslie Ball would react because she told me not to wear that shirt at the event that they had at that theater back on January 3.  I don't think that she liked it, but she had to live with letting me express my very strong and militant opinion. This will probably go down as the most explicit and militant thing I did at balls, yet, even superseding what I did on June 26 when I did my thing about what Mother Earth Likes.  I used the word cunt the most times since I did my rant about my experience with that fucking cunt when I went to that store to try to learn how to print t-shirts back on July 12, 2004 when some asshole leaves me a note that said"saying words like "cunt" makes me sound uneducated and creepy, yuck.  Too bad."  I did not get a very good reaction, but no one heckled me and I didn't get any more stupid notes like that from any assholes either, thankfully.  The main reason that I probably didn't get a very good reaction is it was raining out and there was a low turnout, and I don't have very good luck if there is a low turnout.  For some reason, something that is very militant, explicit and in your face is more likely to go over good if there is a large audience.  On October 16, 2005, I decided to do a repeat performance at balls on how to get a job, which was originally done on April 14, 2002.  It went over better than it did in 2002, but not as good as I was hoping for.

     I did my thing about what Mother Earth likes at Kieran's Irish Pub on June 28, 2005 and someone told me that that was the best thing, yet most controversial and explicit in your face thing that he has ever heard me do.   That means that more nasty spoken words performances are coming down the pike because I am 1 of the few people who ain't telling a bunch of bullshit theses days.  Also, there is already plenty of evidence that the "terrorist bombings" in London on July 7, 2005 was done by AlCIAda, the government and the corporate global crime syndicate assholes and if people don't get their head out of their fucking assholes quick, there will be a major nuclear and biological terrorist attack in this country.  If more people were like Reverend Pat D were out there telling it like it is, this kind of shit would not be happening!  My luck at things going good at the open mikes at Kierans went down the toilet and it started after the 2 poetry slams in July.  At least when I did my explicit thing about the Catholic Priest at the poetry slam on July 12, some people told me that they really enjoyed it, but with the other things that I read at the open mike at the July 19, my luck went downhill.  I never met anyone who was cool who enjoyed hearing what I had to say.  I also went to a gay writer's group and I met a guy who used to go to Kieran's just before I started going and reading stuff there in 2001.

    The 2nd poetry slam I read at in 2005 was the erotic poetry slam on Valentine's Day and I decided to do an excerpt from my Schizo-Gay-nia story.  Unfuckingfortunately, I didn't make it to the 2nd round and I ended up getting a very low score, which, oh fuck, I can't remember, but I think it was around an 8.  It went over a little bit better than the thing I read about the Catholic Priest on Valentine's Day 2003.  I had better luck on Valentine's Day 2004 when I read my thing about auto-erotic-asphyxia.  Unfuckingfortunately, that was the final nail in the coffin to keep me from being on the slam team.  Well, that fucking sucks.  I wasn't able to read in the poetry slams during March and April 2005.  The off season poetry slam started in May 2005 and it was a prop slam on May 10 in which I tape recorded Joon reading a piece that she wrote called Behind the Bathroom Door and a couple of people found it to be funny, but the judges were fucking assholes and gave it the lowest score that anyone got and kept me from making it to the 2nd round.   The next poetry slam was the chick slam on June 14 and I decided to read the same thing I did I did on July 13, 2004, in which I dressed up in drag claiming that I had an abortion.  I was tied for 1st place in July 2004.  I didn't make 1st place when I did it in June 2005, but I was able to move onto the 2nd round!  I decided to cover what Joon wrote Behind the Bathroom Door during the 2nd round and I got a low score 19.5, but it was higher than when I played the tape of Joon performing it with a score of 15 and I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.On July 12, 2005, which happens to be the 26th anniversary of disco demolition, there was another themed poetry slam called, "Poetry Slam Idol", based on the tv show that the sheeple of this country enjoy watching so much that glorifies shit music.  It was something that was to be done differently than most poetry slams.  During the 1st round, a person is supposed to read their worst poem and perform it very badly.  Then, the people who do the worst poems can move onto the 2nd round.  Gee, that shouldn't be a problem for me, now should it?  I decided to do my thing about the Catholic Priest that I read at the erotic poetry slam on Valentine's Day 2003 in which I was given 1 of the worst scores.  The only worse score that I had ever gotten than the Catholic Priest 1 was the 1 about the gulf war II, which I did back on January 11, 2005.  Anyway, I still didn't make it to the fucking 2nd round!  With this poetry slam, the judges were supposed to score you with how bad the poem is and the higher the score, the worse the poem.  Well, I got the fucking lowest score.  There were quite a few fucking assholes in the audience who were appalled over the subject matter and content of the Catholic Priest Story and found it to be disturbing.  The person who hosted it told me that in the future, I shouldn't do something with such extreme and disturbing subject matter.  You know what?  If people don't like it, they can go fuck themselves!  Over the past few months, I have heard so many bullshit opinions and hate speech in the mainstream media that offends me, but no one gives a shit because it's a popular opinion, even though it's total fucking bullshit!  There were a couple of people who spoke at poetry readings saying all kinds of shit against sexual freedom and people who are different, but they did it the popular way by spewing out hate speech garbage and hatred towards people who are different due to media hate speech propaganda.  With that in mind, if people are going to offend me with their misguided ignorant bullshit, that sure as hell gives me the right to offend them with what I say!  I am sick and tired of the way most people think!  Another part of the problem is someone told me that I was supposed to perform it very badly and I didn't do a good enough job at performing it bad enough, which contributed to giving me the lowest score.  On the bright side of all this is they had people there from a radio station, which is part of Minnesota Public Radio called the current, which plays a lot of alternative music, but it's not as alternative as I would like it to be.  Anyway, 1 guy mentioned that it was the best poem he ever heard! Another woman from the radio station said that the poem was very disturbing, but poetry needs to be disturbing and then someone else said something else who liked it in some ways and he didn't like it in other ways.  Back to the bad side of this fucking bullshit with not making it to the 2nd round is if I had made it to the 2nd round, I would have read a cover.  I wrote a song that Steve Dahl did, called Oh, Wally and it was celebrate the 26th fucking anniversary of disco demolition and I couldn't read it because I didn't make it to the 2nd fucking round.  There was another poetry slam on July 19, but I wasn't able to perform in it because it was only for college students, but they did have an open mike.  I decided to sign up for that and I had 10 minutes, so I decided to do the poems in which I got the best scores and worst scores at poetry slams in the past and thanks to the asshole Judges who would not let me go onto the 2nd round, I decided to do an encore presentation of my piece about the Catholic Priest, even though some people would be offended and disturbed by it.  Fuck em!  I didn't have the horrifying reaction that I got the week before when I read that and I did get a few laughs as well.  I then decided to cover the Steve Dahl song, Oh Walley, which I had planned to do the week before, if I had made it to the fucking 2nd round, which I should have and considering it was the best and worst, I decided to dress up as the Mrs. Reverend Pat D and conclude by doing my piece in which I talked about how I am so glad that I had an abortion, but I don't think any of what I had did went over very good that night.  Most of those college students seemed to be stuck up fucking assholes.  There was another poetry slam on August 8, which was a fund raiser for the National Poetry Slam that was in Albuquerque, New Mexico, that I couldn't go to because so many judges had to be fucking assholes and not open minded enough to handle the creative vision that exists in the stuff that I do because it's different from what other people do.  The nice thing about the poetry slam on August 8 is the good news is there was only 1 round, so I wouldn't have to worry about not making to the 2nd round and they allowed 5 minutes to perform.  The other good news is although, I didn't get a super high score, the lowest score was 6.66 and I was tied for 10th place out of 15 people and I barely was able to get a prize.  I decided to read a thing called, why I love abortion and a lot of people happened to like it.  In fact, someone liked it so much, he wanted me to record a couple of things that I do when I perform and post the audio on the website.  I just hope that he ain't someone from the Secret Service or some other undercover pig, but even if he is, I ain't doing anything illegal, but I am expressing opinions that the fascist assholes in charge of the global crime syndicate don't like, but now, there are so many other people expressing opinions that the global crime syndicate don't like that they can't go after all of them.  Not at least until after they declare Martial Law.  That has happened in New Orleans as a result of Hurricane Katrina for the very 1st time in this country since the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776.  That is probably only the beginning of horrible things to come after the next round of government sponsored terrorist attacks.  The new poetry slam season began on September 13, 2005 and I decided to do a piece about what happened in New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina.  The judges gave me a score of 21.1, but unfuckingfortunately, I still came in last place and wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round.  The good news is someone told me that he really loved it and he couldn't stop laughing.  He told me that he laughed so hard that he almost pissed in his pants.  The only way to cope with tragedy is to use humor with it.  The thing I did about what happened in New Orleans was to speak my mind about what happened, using humor.  Where I live in Murderapolis, there are no hurricanes or earthquakes, but there are tornadoes, but I don't think a tornado can cause as much devastation a hurricane, but with how there are now beliefs that the severity of hurricanes may be caused by the government themselves.  This is discussed on the website, weatherwars and I don't think that the government has the capability of creating hurricanes, I think that they may have the ability to make them stronger and have the ability to steer them towards places like New Orleans in which it would really fuck a lot of things up, so they can turn it into a militarized fascist zone and take total control.  It makes me wonder if the day will come that they will be able to create tornadoes that will be extremely catastrophic that would fuck things up for millions of people?  If that's not all, the government can carry out a terrorist attack anywhere and they might just use nuclear weapons.  At least a catastrophic flood is unlikely where I live because I live near the Mississippi River, which goes through New Orleans, but I live 300' above the Mississippi River.  Speaking of weather, there are now 2 poetry slams a month and I did a thing about wanting to become a weatherman when I grow up. There are now 2 poetry slams a month and a lot of people still didn't know about the poetry slam on the 4th Tuesday of the month, so the turnout was low.  God, did that work out towards my advantage!  Because very few people turned out, there were only 5 people who competed, 2 of them dropped out, leaving only 3, including me.  My total score on my thing about wanting to become a weatherman was 24.6 and I came in last place, but because the turnout was so low, I was able to go onto the 2nd round.  I decided to read my thing that I read back in October 2003 about the need for Universal Health Care and I got a total score of 25.4. They combined the scores of both pieces put together and I came in 2nd place.  Because the turnout was so low, there was no 3rd round at all.  All because of that, I won $25 and I can compete at the semifinal slam on December 13, 2005.  I don't think that I have officially made it to the twin cities slam team, yet.  I am pretty sure that I have to at the very least score high enough during the semifinals in order to make it to the championship slam.  If I can make the team, I will get to go to the National Poetry Slam in Austin, Texas in August 2006.  The weather will be too fucking hot there, but I heard that Austin, Texas is a very interesting place.  That is also where Alex Jones is located.  If I can get to go to the National Poetry Slam in Austin, I will talk about Alex Jones!  Very few people in the "liberal left wing" community know who he is here, but I am willing to bet that they know him there!  I hate to fucking say this, but I made it to the semifinals because of a fluke created by the low turnout.  I am not holding out that much hope that I will make it to the twin cities slam team because most judges are fucking assholes and give me low scores because I do things differently and I am unique!  I will be able to do the semifinals on December 13 regardless of how bad things go at the remaining poetry slams between now and then.  The next poetry slam was on October 11, National Coming Out Day, for gay people.  Anyway, I decided to do another piece related to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita

I have a lot more fucking bad and cruddy news to report on my job situation as I enter the fall of 2005.  I haven't had very many mystery shopping jobs, I was collecting unemployment up until August 2005, but my fucking benefit year ended.  I tried to extend it and it got approved, but for a smaller amount and I work too many hours at the enema store each week to collect anything, although what is coming in from the enema store is not enough to live on.  For the most part, I had pretty good luck with the few mystery shopping jobs that I did have during the summer of 2005, but once September hit I ran into more problems and fucking bullshit.  I had problems with all of the 3 jobs that I had during September 2005, 2 of them minor and 1 of them serious.  On 1 of the jobs, they bitched about me having spelling and grammar errors in my written commentary.  I used a fucking spell checker and the fucking spelling fuck ups managed to sneak through.  They didn't specify what I fucked up with spelling and grammar either.  With the other 2 jobs they bitched about my written commentary not matching how I answered the questions.  On 1 of the jobs, it was the only problem.  At the other job in which I did a mystery shop at a new age type grocery store, there were some serious problems.  1 of which was not having my written commentary matching how I answered the questions.  For example, I talked to an employee in the produce department who was not wearing a nametag I mentioned in the written commentary that he was not wearing a nametag, but somehow, I accidentally and unintentionally mentioned that he was wearing a nametag and they jumped down my fucking throat for that.  They bitched about me mentioning that 1 of the employees might have been new or she wasn't interested in helping me.  That was considered "inappropriate" because I was only supposed to be completely objective and I'm not supposed to speculate on what might have been.  That is total stupid ridiculous fucking bullshit that makes now sense, but that's what they want.  They also bitched about me making suggestions on how they could do things better in the past and they bitched about that because that's not considered being objective.  They also bitched about me comparing my visit to the same shop in the past or a shop with a competitor. During my commentary, I did not compare my visit to a previous visit or a competitor and I didn't make any suggestions, so I thought that I had improved to meet their stupid specifications, but they had to be fucking assholes and give me no fucking credit on what I had improved upon, which is the way that most corporate assholes do things.  I had considered doing a spoken words performance on what I would really like to say on a commentary regarding a mystery shop.  For example, I would mention going into the bathroom at the store and masturbating and mention how much I enjoyed it, while the thick white stuff squirted out my penis.  God, if they would think that the stupid bullshit things like making suggestions, speculating or comparing the shop with previous visits or competitors to be inappropriate, imagine what they would think of that?

    Unfuckingfortunately, it doesn't look like I am going to find financial salvation through mystery shopping.  In late July 2005, I went to the library to get a book called Making a Living Without a Job by Barbara Winter.  I read the book and it has a lot of great ideas, but unfuckingfortuneately, I haven't been able to figure out how to do it.  1 of the things that Barbara Winter suggests is reading another book called Wishcraft By Barbara Sher.  I went to the Wishcraft website and you can download the book for free.  I started reading it and only got to 5 out of the 11 chapters, so far.  The book has a lot of exercises in it   I decided to do the exercises and the only thing that I have gotten out of it so far, is it has given me some great ideas for future spoken words topics!  I also went to a gay writer's group and I met David who used to go to Kieran's just before I started going and reading stuff there in 2001.  He decided to check out to hear what I would have to say and he didn't like it!  He decided to show up on July 26, 2005 when I did my piece on what I would write on T-shirts and sell them.  He turns out to be a fucking asshole and tells me that what I read was "childish".  That was the same day that I was upset because no one else liked it, even though people loved it when I read it in the past.  I was so skeptical that things would go over good at that gay writer's group.  On August 17, 2005, I decided to read 1 of the exercises from the Wishcraft book on "what did you want to be when you grow up?"  In the exercise, I mentioned that I wanted to be a weatherman, which is the same thing that I read at the poetry slam on September 27, which caused me to make the 2nd round and qualify to compete in the semifinals on December 13, but I am afraid that it was a fluke because there was a low turnout.  Anyway, that fucking asshole who told me that I was childish was there and he has such a fucking attitude, he didn't even bother to say hi to me, but amazingly, it went over a lot better than I thought it would! Someone said that it was more sarcastic than obscene and there was a lot of raw humor in it. They were surprised that I wanted to be a weatherman.  Someone told me that most weathermen have very boring personalities.  The only criticism that I got is I should have gone into why I wanted to be a weatherman.  So, why did I want to be a weatherman?  Well, I was fascinated with the weather, but now my memory is blocked from remembering any other details. The people at this group appear to be PC and mediocre, but they might actually be cool!  Someone in the group mentioned that so many gay men are critical of 1 another and that doesn't happen at that group. That's a good sign, but I don't know if I can trust anything anymore.

   Part of the reason they gave me the impression of being uptight and PC is this group kind of reminded me of that group that I used to go to for gay men right after I moved to the twin cities and they were all uptight narrow-minded PC fucking assholes.  They got all bent out of shape because I did too much swearing. I told them about my friend Joon and she tolerates me for swearing and they told me that a real friend is intolerant of someone who swears a lot. God what a bunch of fucking bullshit! I showed this 1 guy who is extremely mediocre and uptight my Enema Heaven story.  Can you imagine someone with no sense of humor reading something like that?  The only reason that mediocre asshole decided to read my story to form a psychological profile on me and he told me that I need "professional help."  Through, "professional help" I would learn to obey, but more importantly, I would become "happy."  This guy said that professional help helped him after he had a nervous breakdown.  Anyway, if that guy is as "happy" as he claims to be, then why did he feel so threatened by my story? If he was truly happy, he may not of liked my story, but he wouldn't have felt so horrified and threatened by it!  I talked about my experience with the assholes in this men's group at balls on August 15, 2004 when I talked about my 10-year anniversary of living in Minnesota.  Back to the gay writers group, they kind of reminded me of the time when I did the Experience Weekend back in 1988, which I did back in 1988 when I lived in Florida. The people appeared to be so mediocre and people were crying and all that shit and I could barely handle that shit. Then there was an assignment to write some things and read it in front of the group.  I tried to tone down my writing out of fear that people couldn't handle it, but it was still extreme and people fucking laughed hysterically!  If I didn't do that workshop, it is possible that I would have never become a writer.  People from that workshop told me that I should be a writer, which no one ever bothered to tell me before.  I also broke my ankle 48 hours after that workshop ended and that is a whole nother story of shit that I don't have time to get into right now.     

     I went back to that gay writer's group on September 21 and I planned to read something from another exercise that I had from the Wishcraft Book, but things got fucked up because of severe weather and a tornado warning.  There was a report that a tornado was headed right towards the building that the group was meeting at.  The tornado hit the northern suburbs of Minneapolis and headed towards downtown Minneapolis, but it had weakened by the time it got there.  I had to go into the basement of the building during the tornado warning.  The weather was too fucking hot and muggy, which is unusual for late September, but it is becoming more common thanks to fucking global warming and the high dew points caused the severe thunderstorms.  Anyway, the tornado warning passed by 8PM and there wasn't enough time to read the thing from the Wishcraft Book that I was planning on, but I read something shorter on what it would be like to have the perfect family and who I would have in my family.  I didn't have a chance to type it up, yet, but I mention Beavis and Butthead, George W Bush, my friend Joon and bowel movements and amazingly, it went over quite well.  David was there and he actually liked it!  He mentioned that the top 69 things that I would write on T-shirts and the why I would like to be a weatherman to be childish, but he liked the thing on what my perfect family would like.  He told me that I was more focussed when I wrote that.  David actually was nice enough to talk to me that night, even before I read it.  He mentioned that he saw the tornado right outside blowing things around, but I don't know if I can believe that.  Then again, maybe the tornado had weakened enough not to cause any damage by the time it got to downtown Minneapolis. The next time the gay writer's group met was on October 19, the day before I left on my trip to the Chicago area on October 20.  I decided to read my piece on How to get a job with a Prospective Employer. It turned out to be the best thing that I did, yet there and it made a lot of people laugh.  Someone from the group told me that except for some minor adjustments, that thing is ready to be sent out somewhere and published. This group is showing signs of working a lot better than I was hoping for!

    I wanted to leave by October 19 for my trip to the Chicago area, but so many things had to fuck up going all the way back to October 6 when I had computer problems.  My fucking firewall crapped out and stopped working right, so I uninstalled it and then I couldn't get on the fucking Internet at all.  I tried to reinstall the firewall and it said that some fucking .dll file was missing.  Supposedly, a DLL file is some type of dynamic something library shit that makes a computer program run.  I fucking hate those fucking libraries!  Whoever created them should be fucking shot!  Those fucking DLL files have given me so much trouble over the years.  I found out about a website which allows people to download missing DLL files, but the problem was, I couldn't fucking get connected to the Internet to download the fucking files, but then I thought of using my old computer, so I downloaded the file and then tried to reinstall the program and another fucking DLL file was missing, so I had to disconnect the new computer and connect the old computer and download that other fucking DLL file.  When I downloaded it and tried to reinstall the fucking program, things continued to fuck up.  I decided to delete that fucking DLL file and then the program was able to install and the firewall was working again.  I spent a lot of time renting gay porno films to show Tony once I got into the Chicago area and I was working on organizing things to burn CDs and knowing that I had a deadline to make to get all that done was driving me fucking crazy.  I ran into more fucking computer problems on October 15 as I was frantically trying to get things done as the last minute was fast approaching. There was nothing I could do.  I tried rebooting and things still continued to fuck up.  I wonder if some kind of fucking worm got into the computer?  I was up until 10:15 that morning trying to resolve all that fucking bullshit and I only had 15 minutes of sleep before I had to get up and go to work.  I did have 3 hours of sleep earlier that night, but I really felt like shit that day and I had to do my spoken words performance at balls that night.  When I got home from balls at 2:45 on the morning of October 16, I booted the computer up and it was working much better.  It was still fucking up in some ways, but things were a lot more manageable.  Things were fucking up so bad on October 15, I thought that I was going to have to reinstall the operating system, which would be a major fuckiing pain in the ass.  With the way things are fucking up, I still think that I am going to have to reinstall the operating system, but at least not right away.

     Finally, I was hoping that I could leave by noon on October 20.  I was up until 7:00 in the morning burning DVDs and CDs, organizing and looking for things that I wanted to take with.  I woke up at 10:45 and it took until close to fucking 3:00 in the afternoon before I could leave as I had to make sure that the apartment was clean enough before I left in case someone from the building management team had to come in to the apartment.  I managed to get to Tony's place, just before midnight on October 20.  The good news is I was able to stay with his friend Chuck, but the problem was he lived out in Aurora, which was a long way from Chicago and even a long way from where Tony lives.  I spent the day on October 21 hanging out and getting to know Chuck.  I showed Chuck a gay porno film and he said it was interesting, even though he's straight.  I played an MP3 of the Alex Jones show and Chuck agreed with a lot of what he was talking about and feels that Alex Jones knows what he is talking about when he talks about how corrupt and evil our government is.  It was a show from September 9 of this year when our government sent Mexican troops into New Orleans to set up the police state and impose martial law.

    I went to Tony's place and got there shortly after 9PM on October 21.  He went through the 4 gay porno films that I rented and he didn't care for any of them.  I couldn't get any of the interesting movies that I downloaded from the Internet to work on Chuck's or Tony's DVD player.  The only good news are the things that I encoded in regular DVD format worked, which is better than the shit luck I had when I tried to get DVDs to play in Andy and Joon's DVD player when I was in Atlanta.  I got to talk to Joon from Tony's place on the night of October 21, but Joon gave the phone over to Andy and I talked to him for awhile and then he talked to Steve for a while.

    I was getting ready to leave Tony's place shortly after 3AM in the morning on October 22 when I found out that my car wasn't there.  I found out that the fucking bastards from the condo association decided to tow the car because I didn't have the fucking sticker in the window.  This had never fucking happened before in all the years that I was going there and it never happened to anyone else who was going there for all these years.  If that's not bad enough, they towed the fucking car over 15 miles away from where he lives.  Tony was very pissed off and upset over this shit.  Tony called Chuck and left a message on his answering machine and he was asleep.  It took until 5:45 for him to call and he had to come out to Tony's place to get the car and then go another 15 miles.  To make matters worse, Chuck was just about out of gas and out of money and he had to borrow from someone just to get some gas.  If Chuck couldn't find someone to borrow the money from, I would have been shit out of luck and I would have had to taken a cab out there, which would have cost a fucking fortune.  It took until 6:45AM for Chuck to show up and 7:15 to get the car and I didn't get back to Chuck's place in Aurora until 8:30AM because that shit happened.  I spent the whole day sleeping, but at least I was able to get some sleep.  I also got that pink eye shit again, but thankfully, I still had those prescription antibiotic drops and it cleared up the shit and gook in my eyes right away.  I tried to do my best not to let that towing shit ruin the rest of my trip.  I went to a Golden Corral to enjoy endless amounts of all-you-can-eat food and then I went into the city to enjoy the things I used to before my parents decided to move to Florida because they have shit for brains.  I went to a small club where sidetrack used to be and then I went to Berlin and I brought my ghost with me that lights up and shakes.  There were a lot of people at Berlin who enjoyed my ghost and it is still a very cool place that plays very cool alternative music.  They have been around since 1984.  I certainly miss the Chicago area because my parents have shit for brains and decided to move to a shit place like Florida, which was about to get hit by Hurricane Wilma!  I stayed at Berlin until they closed at 5AM and it took until after 6AM to make it back to Chuck's place in Aurora.  It's a good thing that I had some sleep during the day on October 22 and put that antibiotic in my eye or I would have never made it.

    October 23 was Sunday and Chuck has his kids come over to watch football.  How boring!  I guess everyone needs to be entitled to a couple of mistakes!  I decided to spend the day riding the train into Chicago and I was able to ride anywhere in the Chicago area I want for $5 for an entire weekend, but because the fucking car was towed, that fucked up me from being able to do that.  I went to downtown Chicago and then took a train to Evanston for awhile and then went back to the neighborhood where Berlin is located and bought a shirt with an image of Satan and George W Bush's face on it.  I got back to Aurora just a little after 10PM and the football games were over, but Chuck was still watching the Chicago White Sox game who made it to the World Series.  The game ended shortly after I got back and showed Chuck the movie called Autopsy-A love story.  He enjoyed the movie and said that he wouldn't mind having sex with dead women.  I would enjoy having sex with dead boys, but only if it's before they start to smell real bad!

   I wanted to go to the poetry slam in Chicago, but I chickened out because it wasn't in the best neighborhood I went by there briefly while I was in Chicago on October 23 and I would have had to pay a $6 cover charge, even if I was going to perform.  Another problem is Aurora was way too fucking far from where most open mikes were even at.  I found out about a open mike all the way in Evanston, well over 50 miles, 1 way from where Chuck lives on October 24.  There were 2 open mikes that day, 1 a little bit closer, which was a few miles west of downtown Chicago and the other in Evanston.  The 1 that was west of downtown Chicago wasn't even having an open mike, it was some music shit that was reserved with a band.  The 1 in Evanston was also mostly music, with some poetry and when I called them up, the guy told me anything with comedy doesn't generally go over too good with the crowd.  That wasn't a good sign, but I decided to go there and read my thing about How to get a Job and I think some people liked it, but I think most people didn't.  The guy who went on after me told me that I was hired!  1 person told me that he liked it and another person told me that he liked it and he tried to get me to become a Jehovah Witness, so I don't know why he tried to get me into that bullshit?  I was so glad that I got to share my vision with the world in the Chicago area, but I am disappointed that I didn't find a place where it would have gone over better.  I stayed in Evanston until 11PM and then went over to Tony's place for the rest of the night and had to park in the parking lot of Jewel to avoid the risk of getting towed again.

    Another thing that happened on October 24 is Florida did get hit by Hurricane Wilma.  I watched the news coverage from Chuck's place.  The thing that surprised and stunned me is the storm made landfall on the southwest coast of Florida, weakened slightly, but not much and it managed to do a lot of damage by the time it got to the east coast of the state.  That is something that shouldn't happen, but things are getting more fucked up with these hurricanes and something is going on.  Hurricane Wilma did a lot of damage all the way from Ft. Lauderdale on the south to north of West Palm Beach.  I didn't hear until November 21 on how it affected my parents house until I found out that it did some damage to roof and totally destroying a screened in porch, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage, but they still want to live there.  I don't know why anyone in their right mind would want to live in that shit infested state?

    My last full day in the Chicago area was on October 25.  Chuck was out when I woke up at around 12:30 and I was going to get things together, but I had other errands and things that I wanted to get done on my last full day there, so I left shortly before 2:00 to get things done and ran into Chuck as I was leaving and told him that it would take a couple of hours to get things done.  Of course things always fuck up and take longer.  The good news is I was still able to use the Internet at College of Du Page, but I didn't get out of there until after 5PM.  I called Tony to touch base with what's going on and seeing things were taking longer than I was hoping I suggested that I wonder if it would be OK to stay with Chuck for 1 more night.  Tony told me that he would get very upset with me for suggesting it!  He also told me that Chuck was very pissed off that it took me longer than what I said it would because I said that it would take a couple of hours. Things were going so well with Chuck and things had to turn to shit at the very end.  That was my last fucking full day there and it was my last chance to get everything done and it took longer than a couple of hours.  2nd of all, the fucking traffic was fucking gridlock bumper to bumper shit which was beyond my fucking control and I didn't get back until after 6:00.  I wanted to take pictures of the area where Chuck lives and I didn't get back until after it got dark and that really fucking sucks.  I told Chuck that I was going to leave that day and he was expecting me to be out then, no extensions, not even a few hours.  Maybe if he let me stay into the next day, then maybe he thought that I would expect him to let me stay even longer, although I had no intentions of any further extensions.  Some people get strange ideas into their heads.  Despite how things flared up between the both of us at the end, I was able to part on the best and most civilized manor and let time heal these wounds.  He did at least say that I could stay with again in 2006.  I just have to prepare to have things work out better.

   I left Chuck's place shortly after 7PM on October 25 and got to Tony's place around 7:45 that night.  I went to eat at the buffet right next to where he lives and I stayed in the Chicago area until 12:30AM on October 26 when I left.  I didn't get very far.  I decided to stop in Rolling Meadows for the night.  On October 26 I headed out to Crystal Lake, Illinois, which is a suburb on the outskirts of the Chicago area to take pictures of the train station there and take some pictures of trains as well as the fall colors.  I miss the Chicago area and I miss the trains, but I don't live there anymore because my parents have shit for brains and decided to move to Florida, which is a place that fucking sucks and had just gotten hit with a serious hurricane and I still hadn't found out how badly my parents were affected by it.  I went out to Rockford, which was about an hour and a half from Crystal Lake to eat at Ryan's Buffet and I liked the ones I ate at in Memphis and Duluth, Georgia, but I was kind of disappointed with the 1 in Rockford.  That fucking sucked!  The good news is there was a college that was across the street from Ryan's and they are still nice enough not to block people who are not students from using the Internet I stayed in Rockford until 7PM and headed towards Madison, Wisconsin and I got there at around 9:15.  I was fucking tired and fell asleep in the parking lot of a Hollywood Video.  I woke up around 10:30 and went to a Barnes and Noble and I got there just before they closed at 11PM and I bought a Farmer's Almanac.  I listened to a heavy metal radio show on WSUM from Madison called Blood and Guts, which was on until midnight.  I also went to Cub Foods and left Madison, Wisconsin shortly after midnight on October 27 and I arrived back in Murderapolis at around 4:30AM.  It is cool that I can listen to WSUM through the Internet, which means I don't feel as trapped as much as I used to, but coming back from a vacation still fucking sucks.  I also can't listen to WORT from Madison through the Internet and that fucking sucks!

    I found out on November 21 about how badly Marian and Al were affected by Hurricane Wilma.  It damaged the roof and it totally destroyed the screened in porch that was in the back.  Marian called on November 22 and mentioned that the insurance won't pay for the damage either because the deductible is too high.  Those fucking bastards!  The damage is only in the thousands of dollars.  I still never got to experience a hurricane to this magnitude, including Hurricane Andrew because I was on the northern fringes of it and only experienced tropical storm force winds.  Marian said that she was terrified going through those non-stop very strong winds and had never experienced winds like that before, but even after going through all that, she still wants to live in that state, which is a cesspool of shit.  I can't figure it out?

    The 1st thing I did at balls after the Chicago area trip ended was the Halloween Pumpkin carving and telling ghost stories on October 30.  I decided to tell a true ghost story about George W Bush along with other members of the illuminati who hang out at Bohemian Grove in which they worship Satan and suck each others cocks, but fact is even stranger than fiction!  The next thing I did at Balls was on November 27 (a day with a lot of history) I might add.  I started living in Florida on November 27, 1986, which of course was a day of total fucking shit and the beginning of 7 1/2 years of pure Hell.  November 27, 1986 also happened to be Thanksgiving a starting to live in that cesspool of shit was something was definitely NOT to be thankful for.  I also got the cat that I currently have on November 27, 2002 and on November 27, 2005, Joon got to speak at balls through Leslie Ball's cellphone to let people know that women can be crude!  Joon read her thing called Cats are Better than Kids and Behind the Bathroom Door.  Leslie Ball also got to talk to Joon and Leslie Ball mentioned that she had never seen such a happy look on my face while listening to Joon read her material and being so crude too!  Some people laughed while listening to Joon being so crude, but there was a low turnout and unfuckingfortunately, when there is a low turnout, controversial and explicit things don't go over as good as it does when there is a large audience.  Greg Hernandez told me that the shit that Joon read sounds exactly like the shit I write and read, but she's the 1 who wrote it!  A couple of women told me that what Joon did was very cool!  The final thing I did at balls in 2005 was on Christmas when I talked about my Christmas experiences while growing up and moving to Florida ruined everything.  Also, Christmas sucked!  Gee, what else is new?  Balls had a low turnout, but there was 1 guy there who really liked it when I did my thing and he heard me in October 2002 when I did my rant against Love Ballads, which I was also heckled at Artist Quarter by a bunch of fucking assholes.  I got home at around 3AM on Christmas and decided to get up and go to that new age church and that was a fucking disappointment because most people acted like stuck up fucking assholes, but at least they had food there. After I got home from that church, I spent a few hours of Christmas sleeping and then went out to rent Pink Flamingoes, the movie in which Divine eats dogshit and that was the best thing I experienced on Christmas 2005!

   I read at 3 poetry slams during the rest of 2005 after my Chicago area trip ended.  I decided not to go on November 8 because it was election day and my alderman from the Green Party, Dean Zimmerman was up for re-election and I did some volunteer work that day and the good thing is they had delicious food to eat!  Unfuckingfortunately, the FBI raided Dean Zimmerman's house to do an "investigation" and he lost the reelection thanks to corrupt Democrats who did some dirty tricks and do what they could to smear him causing him to lose the reelection I did read at the poetry slam on November 22 and I read my thing called Give me Buffets or give me Death, which is about my obsession with and how I can't live without all-you-can-eat buffets.  I got a 24.5 score and I was able to move onto the 2nd round, but that was only because everyone else was able to, but unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.  Of course, on December 13 was the day of the semi-final poetry slam and I decided to do a thing that I originally sent to Chuck in an e-mail back in 1999, which was called Hammer Smashed Answering Machine. It didn't have explicit or even controversial material, but it was an intense rant and the fucking asshole judges gave me a score of 13.3 causing me to be in last place and while I still have a chance to go to Austin, Texas next August, I have been sent back to square 1 and I need to make it back to the semi-finals next March and the fucking chances of that happening are slim to none.  I guess I wasn't expecting to be that lucky anyway because no matter what I do, the judges are going to be fucking assholes and give a low score and this fucking sucks!  The final poetry slam in 2005 was on December 2005 and I decided to reminisce about 1 of the so called news stories in 2005, which was the situation with Terry Shailow and I decided to read my Living Will.  I was able to move on to all 3 rounds only because everyone was able to, but unfuckingfortunately, I came in last place, so I wasn't able to get back on to be able to compete in semifinals in March, but I have a few more chances.  I got an 18.2 on my thing about the Living Will.  In the 2nd round I did my rant about wanting to start my T-shirt business that I originally did in May 2004 and I got a score of 14.7 on that 1.  In the 3rd round I did my thing about Hurricane Katrina and I got a 15.2 score.  None the less, I came in last place and that fucking sucks.

    Things are looking very promising at the gay writer's group.  On November 16, I read my thing about the Tribute to the last cat I had that died and while that wasn't funny, what I wrote about it was.  People laughed like fucking crazy when I read that.  On December 21, I read my rant about Christmas at the group and it didn't go over quite as good as the tribute to my cat, but not bad.  The leader of the group Danny is turning out to be pretty cool and he told me that I talk about and write about stuff that other people don't write or talk about that and he thinks that is good!

    Unfuckingfortunately, more fucking bullshit happened to bring 2005 to a shit end.  On December 21 I did a mystery shop at a restaurant and here's another major reason to fucking hate Christmas.  As I was leaving the restaurant, an employee told me to have a "Merry Christmas".  I mentioned in the report that I would have preferred it if she said "happy holidays" and for that reason I got the worst feedback, ever!  I got a 0.25 out of a 3 really dragging down my average.  The future of this shit don't look good.  The only good news is things look more promissing at being able to make a living at being a writer and spoken words artist than they have looked in many recent years.  Things are looking more promissing for 2006, so lets go on to read Pat's 2006 Vision of the World Page and lets see how well things evolve during 2006