I will never forget about an answering machine that crapped out on me back in 1999 and it caused me to go into a humungouse rampage. It started in April 1999 when I came home and saw that the light was flashing real fast. That means that I have maxed out on messages and I thought that some fucking asshole had called me to fuck with me and fill up the tape. It turns out that some fucking asshole called and didn't bother to leave a message, but I had plenty of tape left. When I played back the messages, the light was still flashing. That caused me to start yelling and screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs. That kind of shit really pissed me off. I then hit reset to start over. To check to see if it was working, I went to a pay phone and called and left a message to my cat telling him that I was pissed off about the answering machine fucking up on me. I came home and it was fine and it took my message. When I came home the next day, it did the same fucking thing. It was flashing real fast. I don't know what it is, but something about a fast flashing red light on an answering machine triggers me into violent rampages. It really bothers me. I hit reset and played the messages and thankfully it stopped. I then didn't have any problems with it until May 11 1999 when it did the same fucking thing! I hit reset and the light continued to flash real fast. I tried playing it several times and it still continued to flash real fast. That was really pissing me off and I started hitting it real hard. Finally, after playing it several times, the light stopped flashing. When I came home on May 12, 1999, the light was flashing real fast again and I was pissed. I kept trying to reset it and it wouldn't stop. Again, the fast flashing light triggered off a major rampage. I started hitting the answering machine, I kicked it and I took it and threw it on the floor. When I was done the light was still flashing real fast. I tried resetting it again and the light continued to flash real fast. I tried resetting it and that fucking light continued to flash real fast. I was determined to make that light stop flashing real fast so I took a screw driver and I started hitting and stabbing it. I then tried to reset it and the light continued to flash real fast. That fucking piece of shit really pissed me off and I couldn't take it any more so I went and got a hammer and started smashing it. After hitting it enough times, the light finally stopped flashing real fast and for some reason the answering machine wouldn't work at all any more. The buttons came off too after I hit it with the hammer. Gee, I just don't respond too favorably when something fucks up. I have heard of fast flashing lights causing seizures, but with me, it causes violent rampages. Also, when something breaks, it really fucking sucks.

I am afraid that Pat made a big fuck up when he decided to pick this particle piece for the semifinals.  Don't get me wrong, it is a very good rant, but unfuckingfortunately, it was a fatal blow to his chances of being able to go on to the team selection slam.  He didn't get into extreme explicit vulgar sex, but he may have even gotten a better score.  The problems is no matter what Pat picks as a subject, if it doesn't conform to the meaningless bullshit that so many other poets do, the chances of making the finals are not good, but if he had more of a point and stuck to a vision, he would have had a better chance.  Then again poetry slams are bullshit anyway.  It's just 1 of many outlets for Pat to share his vision with the world and a lot of people are cool, even at poetry slams and enjoy hearing what he has to say.  The answering machine rant is fucking funny, but unfuckingfortunately, not in a poetry slam setting.  Pat realizes that it is unlikely that he's going to find success through poetry slams, but there are other ways! With that in mind, let's continue with Pat's 2005 Vision of the World Page and he knows that there is more than 1 way to scin a cow!