April 30 2006 | Sunday | 09:37pm

"KSP"

    I'm still treating my mom coldly. Whenever she say something, either I would just nod or don't reply at all. Last night I even slept at the other room. I just feel like being invisible in the house. And anyway that's how they figuratively treat me.

    I knew my mom would really notice my weird acts. Aminado naman akong nagpapapansin din ako. Tsk. Perhaps there are really times that a person wants to be heard and felt by other people. We seek attention. We grab affection. And sometimes, we do it the other way around -- by being distant and motionless. It's one of the best ways to be noticed nowadays.

    The whole time around, papansin din yung mom ko. Somehow she's trying to win my standpoint again. Nag-aalok ng pagkain (Pizza Hut ang merienda ko huwaw!), nagtanong tungkol sa e-mail (na bihira niyang itanong kasi di naman siya interesado sa technology), at nagkuwento nang kung anu-ano maski hindi naman ako interesado. Nung tumawag nga si Ayna sa bahay, kinausap pa niya. Nagtatanong tungkol sa Baguio trip ng besty ko. Nagtaka tuloy si Ayna kung bakit biglang nagtanong yung mom ko tungkol dun. Though she allowed me to go to Cebu already, I'm still feel awkward about it because I knew she'll point out that trip as one of my idiocy in the future. Naiisip ko na ang eksaktong linyang sasabihin niya kapag nanghingi ulit ako ng pera pagkatapos kong mag-Cebu. Parang ganito: "Hihingi ka na naman ng pera! Kaka-Cebu mo lang ah *blah blah* " Ay ewan.

    Speaking of papansin, naisipan ko lang magparamdam sa ex ko. Haha. Out of the blue, I just felt that I missed that person. For today lang naman. So yun, tinext ko, nagreply naman. Sa pag-aakalang hahaba yung pag-uusap namin at magkukuwento din siya sa akin, walang nangyari. Parang malamig na rin siya. Di tulad noon, na tumatawag pa siya sa cellphone ko. Araw-araw nagtetext. Tsktsk. Okay lang naman. No bitter feelings about it. Anyway I have no intention of getting back to the past. Siguro gusto ko lang i-try kung hahabulin pa ba niya yung nakagawian. Hindi na siguro ngayon. It's really over between us. It's a past that will never be present nor be future. =)

Past is EXPERIENCE. Present is EXPERIMENT. Future is EXPECTATION. So use your experience in your experiment to meet your  expectation.

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April 29 2006 | Saturday | 11:00pm

"THE SIMS"

    I've become so hooked to a PC game again. Just recently, I got the latest version of The Sims.

    Basically, it's a game on building houses and controlling a "Sim" to play close-to-human roles. Well, a player may start the game by creating a "Sim" (tawag sa tauhan ng The Sims). It's a cool game because you can personalize the physiques and outfits of the Sim. Afterwards, the player may place the Sim in a house which can be designed and built manually. Every house detail can be done -- from furniture to appliances; from decoorative to electronics. Kapag tapos na lahat, puwede mo ng pagalawin yung Sims. Nakakatuwa, kasi parang mga totoong tao. Kailangan ding magtrabaho para kumita ng pera, kailangang kumain para lumakas, at kailangan ng kaibigan para tumaas yung mood niya.

    Kanina, napaisip ako habang naglalaro. Nakikita ko pala yung sarili ko sa inaalagaan kong Sim. Kung ano yung routine ko, ganun din ang pinapagawa ko sa kanya. Yung trabaho niya, newscaster. Yung hilig niya, makipag-socialize. Yung pag-ibig niya, zero. Haha! Adek. Actually, yung pangalan niya eh 'Shelly'.

    Kaso siguro, marami ding pagkakaiba ang buhay ko sa buhay ng The Sims. May bahid lang ng totoong buhay, pero hindi batid ang totoong buhay. Kapag nagkakanda-loko na yung Sim, pwede kong i-undo o i-delete. Sa totoong buhay, mahirap burahin ang minsang pagkakamali. Walang cheat codes na puwedeng dayain ang pagkukulang. Tuluy-tuloy ang pagharap sa buhay. Walang pause para pag-isipan nang matagal ang susunod na hakbang. Hindi rin puwedeng i-fast forward, kapag nakakatamad na ang mga sandali. At higit sa lahat. sa buhay ng tao, walang kumokontrol kundi ang sarili. Sa iyo ang pagkontrol ng mouse o keyboard. Sa iyo din ang pintas kapag nagkakamali. Walang karapatan ang iba na mani-obrahin ang buhay mo -- dahil hindi ka Sims para paglaruan at gawing robot.

    It's really addictive! It blends with my personality. I had a swift day by just playing this. Kulang na lang eh sumabog sa init yung computer. Haha. Adik na talaga.

No one in this world can dictate you where you can be happy. If you know when and where it is. go for it. Always remember, happiness comes from within and not from someone else.

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April 27 2006 | Thursday | *12:34am

"THE 'GRR' FACTOR"

    Have you ever felt such feeling of being unfairly treated? It's like YOU vs. everyone else. What happened to me a while ago, definitely stretched my calmness. My head aches right now, out of angriness I guess.

    I've been looking forward to my Cebu trip. Ayna contacted me this afternoon to tell me that we're going on May 9th. So my excitement boosted more. On the other hand, she also told me that there was a minimal change of plan. Supposedly, we were to ride Super Ferry but her mom had decided that we take an airplane instead. Mas masaya sana sa barko pero okay na ding sa eroplano para mas mabilis. My real problem was, there's an increase in fare. I felt quite unsure whether I can ask for a 4,300php to my ever-so-thrifty mom. I expected a bleeding process.

    I called my mom right away in Batangas. I knew it was better to talk with her personally but perhaps it was better to tell about it ahead of time. Sa ugali ba naman ng nanay kong paiba-iba isip, daig pa ang bagyo kung lumihis ng desisyon. Bukod pa diyan, eh pera ang pinag-uusapan.

    Sumabay ang pagloloko ng telepono sa Batangas, kaya nahirapan pa akong tumawag. Naka-ilang dial-up pa ako. Kakainis. Nang maka-dial na, kinausap ko nang maayos yung mom ko. Sinabi ko yung sitwasyon at kung anong kailangan ko. Pero hay, nang ibungad ko na ang usaping magdagdag sana siya ng pera, nagsimula ng magbunganga yung nanay ko! I was hardly given the chance to explain further. We were both at the top of our voices. She was then telling me that I had so many expenses already and then again, she started to mention all those stuffs she bought for me. Grr. I really hated it.

    Why is that when it's for my other siblings, there's no discussion about it and she easily gives it. I mean, I feel like it's so unfair. Hindi sa pagmamayabang, pero kung usapang katinuan rin lang, mas matino ako sa ate ko. Mas marami ngang nalustay na pera yung ate ko eh, kasi pa-iba-iba siya ng kurso nun tapos di naman pala grumaduate. And sometimes I feel like my achievements academically are hardly noticed. Kung di ko pa sasabihin, di rin nila papansinin. Di rin naman ako sing-sakitin ng kuya ko kaya walang ka-gastos2 sa akin sa pagpapagamot. In fact I am the only sporty one, but have they ever noticed to it? There was a time when my ankle hurt from a game and much that I wanted to go to doctor for a check-up, I chose not to. Alam ko kasing gastos na naman yun. Ayokong maging pabigat talaga. Kaya sa abot ng makakaya ko, ginagawa ko yung best ko para matuwa sa akin yung mom ko. Ngayon, simple lang naman ang hiling ko eh -- isang maikling bakasyon lang talaga sa Cebu. Sana kasi di na lang niya ko pinayagan nung una para di na ako umaasa ngayon. Hay.

    I can't understand why she didn't give it right away. Kung yung ate ko nga napalipad niya hanggang Dubai, domestic flight lang di pa niya mabigay. Masama din ang loob ko kasi kung pinayagan sana niya akong magtrabaho noon, eh di sana may sarili na akong pera. Kung may pera naman ako, bakit pa ako magsusumiksik sa wallet niya. Sinusumpa ko talaga, na kapag tumanda ko at nagtrabaho, hinding-hindi ako magkukuripot sa mga magiging anak ko dahil alam ko yung pakiramdam ng nakukulong sa pangakong pinapako palagi.

    Nangulit talaga ko. Hindi ko binitiwan yung telepono sa paulit-ulit na pag-dial. Nasa rurok rin lang ako ng kainisan, tinodo ko na. Binuhos ko lahat ng rasong pwede kong masabi para bigyan lang ako ng pamasahe. At nakulitan na rin siguro sa akin, pumayag din. Ga-milyong sermon ang inabot ko at marami pa ang aabutin ko sa pag-uwi niya. At kahit umuo na yung mom ko, di ko pa rin yun malilimutan. I was so disappointed with her. It wounded my heart as a daughter. Really.

Kung mahirap magpalaki ng anak, mas mahirap magpalaki ng magulang. May mga bagay na mahirap maunawaan tungkol sa kanila at may mga rasong di nila maintindihan mula sa mga anak nila.

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April 26 2006 | Wednesday | *11:05am

"HANGOUT WITH ATE CHERRY"

    This is again, another volleyball story. Somehow I'm starting to blend with the new taste of V-league. Never mind if there are seldom players whom I know in the court. What mattered most was the exciting volleyball action which truly merged with my athletic personality.

    I was still feeling sluggish when I left home. Though I was able to sleep at Carol's place last night, it felt like I still lack it. So anyways, I met Carol and Ate Flo at Gilmore Station. Nakasabay pa nga namin yung PCU team sa LRT 2. Kawawa naman sila, walang bus service. Haha.

    When we got into the gym, Adamson and Lyceum were warming up already. We sat side court. Later on, bashful Jc started to text message me again, saying that he was there too. Nakukulitan na kasi ako sa kanya. If he really got the guts to show up, better do so and not make something out of a popping bubble.

    So we watched Ate Cherry's game and she was then again, darn great. Adamson won, 3-1. After the game, Ate Cherry approached us and told us that she could come with us for a dinner hangout. Siyempre, natuwa naman si Ate Flo. =) Nagbihis muna si Ate Cherry tapos pagbalik niya, pumunta siya ulit sa kinauupuan namin. So yun, kuwentuhan sandali. Biniro ko nga eh, kasi may mga nagpa-pic sa kanyang fans. Pipicturan ko rin siya kunwari. Haha. Maya-maya, umalis muna siya. Umalis din muna kami para samahan si Carol sa National Bookstore.

    We were at the bookstore when Ate Cherry texted, inviting to eat already. Huwag na daw namin panoorin yung SSC-PCU game kasi makikisabay lang siyang umuwi sa referee. Kaso di pa din kami puwede kumain kasi hinihintay pa si Kim. So we went back to the gym to tell Ate Cherry to wait for a while since Kim didn't arrive yet. Pumayag naman siya.

    Napanood pa namin yung 1st set. [at ang daming gamo-gamo. Haha!] Anyways, may import Thai player [Boulee #7] yung SSC kaya medyo nakaka-curious panoorin yung laro. Well honestly, I'm really not in favor of importing a player. I mean, it degrades the skills of local volleybelles. Ang dami-daming magagaling sa Pinas, tapos maghahanap pa ng taga-ibang bansa? Para tuloy namamaliit yung kakayahan ng Pinay players.

    Soon, Kim finally came and we called Ate Cherry already. Naglakad kaming lima hanggang Kenny Rogers [in Katipunan]. While walking, ughh I got so struck with Ate Cherry's saying to me. Somehow it was a pattern of what Ate Ging had told me. Umakbay siya sa akin tapos nasabi na lang niyang, "Buti nakakasama ka pa dito." Ate Cherry knew that I've been behind Ate Rox' volleyball career but since she's gone, perhaps it's just an amazing setting for Ate Cherry that despite all, I'm watching V-league. Niloko pa ko nina Ate Flo kay Ate Cherry na pinagpalit ko yung pagta-trabaho sa Vocativ para lang manood ng volleyball. Haha, adek.

    As we entered, we got seated for a while to choose our food. Carol, Kim and I ordered foods whereas Ate Flo and Ate Cherry were left behind. Bonding moment. Naks. So while eating, I took the chance to ask Ate Cherry on so many things. Siguro matagal kong hinintay yung pagkakataong yun, kasi marami talaga kong gustong malaman.

    Haha, so as expected, I asked so many questions to Ate Cherry about what had happened to Ate Rox. Bungad agad niya, "Naku Shelly, sobrang busy ang Lola Rox mo!" Grabe naman pala talaga. Pati ka-teammates eh di na rin niya nakakausap. Ate Cherry told me that the last time they met was in the RP practice pa when Ate Rox just dropped by. She then added that Ate Rox' cellphone got snatched that's why she changed her Sun number. Binanat ko naman na, "maski nga pagbibigay ng bagong number, di pa niya na-tetext sa akin eh." Hay naku, nagtatampo na talaga ko kay Ate Rox! Maski ibibigay na dapat ni Ate Cherry yung new number ni Ate Rox, di ko na kinuha. Hmp! Na-joke pa ni Ate Flo na di man lang daw nag-goodbye si Ate Rox nung huling magkakasama kami. Huling bonding time na pala yun. Haha. Natuwa naman ako sa sinabi ni Ate Cherry, "Bakit naman siya mag-ggoodbye, alam naman niyang di pa yun ang huling pagkikita." Waah >.<

    Sa totoo lang, nalulungkot na ko nun. Sana di na lang pala nagkuwento si Ate Cherry, haha nakaka-miss tuloy si Ate Rox. Dinaan ko na lang sa pag-jjoke ang lahat, I was then joking Ate Cherry that she's my new favorite already. Adek si Ate Cherry, panakip-butas lang naman daw siya! =p Kasi, pag nandiyan na ulit si Ate Rox, hindi na raw siya ang favorite. Hahaha. Nag-kuwentuhan din pala kami tungkol sa Air Force [na Red Alert ngayon] at natuwa naman ako. Wala lang, siguro masyado lang akong usyosera sa lahat ng bagay na di ko pa alam. Hehe. A little later, we left Kenny Rogers. Bumalik kami sa gym. Di pa pala tapos yung laro! Grabehan.

    Umabot hanggang 5 sets yung laro. PCU got the 1st two sets, then SSC retrieved the momentum again. Pamatay sa kaba yung 5th set, umabot ba naman sa 21-19 yung score!!! Kasama naming manood si Ate Cherry, haha napapasigaw talaga kaming lahat. Ang saya. So it was PCU's game, they won. Actually it was a bit shocking, since there's a Thai player in the opponent's team. Sabi ni Ate Cherry, baka daw pagod pa si Boulee kaya di sapat yung nilaro.

    After the game, Jc happened to pass by us. Tinawag ni Ate Flo, tumingin naman siya. Sus, kung anong kina-bibbo niya online, eh siya namang kinahiya niya in person. Adek. Haha. So anyways, nagpaalam na si Ate Cherry, dumating na yung referee na kasabay niya. Nakakatuwa siya kasama at salamat sa lahat ng kuwento niya. =) Bago umuwi, nag-CR muna kami. Nasalubong namin si Patti [#11, ADMU]. Ayun, beso-beso, kuwentuhan sandali. Nanood pala sila ni Ate Mic2 ng game. Nasalubong din namin si Jinni [#6 SSC], close na kasi sila ni Ate Flo eh. =p Naka-kuwentuhan namin sandali. Sayang at natalo sila. Close fight talaga.

    Sumabay kami sa taxi ni Kim hanggang sa sakayan papuntang Cubao. Nag-jeep na lang kami. Dun ko na naramdaman ang pagod. Hehe. Nakasandal na lang ako kay Ate Flo habang nag-kkuwentuhan sa jeep. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, diretso ako sa higaan. Grabe, 11pm tulog na ko. At paggising ko, nilalagnat at may sore throat na ko. x.x What a day..

Sabi nila, walang permanente sa mundo, lahat daw nagbabago. Natakot ako, kinabahan at napaisip. Kung lahat nagbabago, sana huwag ang samahang meron tayo.

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April 25 2006 | Tuesday | *10:35am

"GIRL SCOUT"

    May mga pangyayaring sadyang biglaan.

    I spent my afternoon at Kc's house. I didn't expect that I would extend my time there since I just wanted to get stuffs from her. So I went there around 3pm. Sabi ko sa sarili ko nun, dadaan lang talaga ko. Masakit kasi yung ankles ko. But after getting the CD and copying files to my USB, she then invited me to play games. Na-engganyo naman akong maglaro kasi matagal na rin akong di nakakapaglaro ng Nester. So yun, umabot tuloy ako hanggang 5:30pm sa kanila. Inabutan ko pa yung palabas ng V-league na pinanood namin sandali. Nagkayayaan tuloy sa Sabado na manood nang live. DLSU vs. ADMU. Gustong makita ni Kc ang paglalaro ni Dang. Sana makasama din si Vilo kasi niyaya din namin. Reunion ito. Lolz.

    Later that night, I was just chilling at home. Biglang nag-text si Ate Flo para sabihing mag-3way kami kasama si Carol. Wala din naman akong ginagawa nun kaya pumayag naman ako. I thought it would just be a usual conversation but soon, we knew that Diah was at Carol's place. Na-feel na naming may nangyari kay Diah kaya nandun. Di na nagtagal ang usapan sa telepono, pumunta kami ni Ate Flo kina Carol para dun mag-overnight. Diah needed company.

    Sa De La Fuente [near España] lang ang bahay ni Carol, kaya okay lang na agad-agad ang planong pagpunta dun. Actually I was just in my casual wear when I went there. I met with Ate Flo at Burger King in Welcome Rotonda. Sabay na kaming nag-jeep papuntang De La Fuente. Talagang mga girl scouts, walang keme, walang arte. Basta masayang lakaran, go na go kami. Hehe. We waited for Carol at Chowking. Soon, she came and told us that Diah was at the Internet Cafe. Pumunta kami dun at sabay-sabay na kaming pumunta sa bahay ni Carol.

    It was my first time to reach Carol's place. How I loved their neighborhood, ang sarap tumambay. Bago ang laha, kumain muna kami ng dinner. After nun, lumabas na kami para magpahangin.. Na-enjoy ko ang pagkain ng pistachios [1st time kong kumain nun haha!] habang nagku-kuwentuhan. So yun, dun na namin nalaman ang lahat. Kinuwento ni Diah yung nangyayari at yung mga nararamdaman niya. I bared with her, really. If I'm within that type of situation, it's very hard too. It was also a perfect moment for the rest to express personal sentiments. Diah started to let loose of her problems and in a way, we shared each one's too. Masarap din pala sa pakiramdam na magpaka-senti paminsan-minsan, kasama ang mga taong ganun din ang trip gawin.

    Maya-maya, nagyaya si Diah sa Seven Eleven. Nag-food trip kami. Haha. Pagbalik sa bahay ni Carol, dun na namin kinain yung 3 in 1 ice cream na may Gardenia bread pa. After that, we prepared ice coffee. Yummy. Kasabay ng pagkaing yun, ang okrayan at kuwentuhan tungkol sa mga tao-tao. Patawa talaga.

    Umakyat kami sa taas past 12am na. Inantok na si Diah. She really had a hard day. But I guess somehow we swept her depression. Grabe, mamatay ako sa kakatawa pag-akyat namin! Natutulog na kasi yung ate ni Carol dun, kaya kailangan eh tahimik kami. Bulungan kami nang bulungan pero di naman kami magkaintindihan! Adek talaga. Nung mag-picturan kami, lalo pa kong natawa. Si Ate Flo kasi eh, kung anu-ano nanamang joke ang binanat. Haha.

   Lights off na. Pero ang nakakatawa diyan, maliwanag pa din dahil sa backlight ng mga cellphone namin. To observe silence, we just talked to one another through texting! =p May instance pang na-wrong send kami sa isa't isa! Yung message ko kay Ate Flo, napunta kay Diah. Yung message sa akin ni Ate Flo, napunta kay Carol. Adek talaga. Ang tagal pa namin bago nagkatulugan. =p

    Ginising kami ng nakakatawang alarm tone ko. Masarap pa man matulog, 8am gising na kaming apat. Kumain kami ng breakfast, naupo lang sandali sa sala, tapos nag-uwian na rin.

    Magkikita pa ulit kami ng 2pm, manonood naman kami ng V-league. Impulsive travelers talaga. And I'm really enjoying my summer. =)

Ang sabi nila, ang barkada masamang impluwensiya. Matututo ka daw ng bisyo. Gala diyan, gala dito. Laging nagiging pasaway. Naman! Kung alam lang nila kung gaano tayo kasaya, baka sumali pa sila!

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April 24 2006 | Monday | 11:13pm

"PASAWAY"

    Sa wakas at may Office XP Installer na rin ako! I'm glad because I've gone through a lot of exasperating moments just to get a MS Frontpage 2002 again in my PC. Haha.

    I contacted Dino, the technician from Complink, for so many times. Ang hirap niyang hagilapin. Whenever I called their office, it was either no one was answering or he was not around. Mahirap din namang pumunta na lang nang basta-basta sa Complink Shop, kasi baka mamaya wala akong mapala. Sayang ang biyahe dahil sa SM North Edsa pa yun.

    Luckily, I was able to contact him yesterday and told him that I would go today. So a while ago, I went to SM North Edsa. Nagpahatid na lang ako kay Aps. Na-sermunan pa nga ko ng mom ko eh, di raw ako marunong magtipid sa gasolina kasi pwede namang mag-commute lang. =p Ang init-init naman kasi di ba. Haha, ang arte. So yun, pagdating ko dun, nandun naman siya. Esmer was there too, yung pa-demure na technician na feeling close grr. Kakainis kasi yung mga tulad niyang feeling gwapo, tapos feeling niya rin crush ko siya. Sumbong ko siya kay Ching eh. HAHA JOKEEE.

    Anyways, Dino told me to buy a blank CD so that his copy of Office XP could be burned. Naghanap-hanap muna ko ng mas murang CD sa Cyberzone. Soon I went back to hand it to him, and since I had to wait for the installer to be burned, I first went to other places to avail some stuffs that I need. Pagbalik ko, okay na't na-burn na. Pinakopya sa akin ni Dino yung serial number. So I copied it, hoping that as I install it at home, I would be able to make use of Frontpage already.

    Pag-uwi ko ng bahay, grabehan may error pa din! Nakakaasar. Isang linggo ko ng pino-problema ang paghahanap ng installer tapos ayaw pa din. Para bang pinagti-tripan talaga ang pasensiya ko. PASAWAY TALAGA. Ayokong ma-badtrip ng tuluyan, I set aside installing. I went out to watch V-league and meet with my pals again.

    Past 2:30pm when I got off my house. I met Ate Flo at Gilmore Station. We waited for Carol there. Medyo matagal din, pero okay lang. Nakaupo kami dun sa gilid ng istasyon, ang aliwalas. Pinapaalis na nga kami ng gwardiya dun eh haha. Akala siguro niya tumatambay lang kami. =p So yun, pagdating ng tren na sinakyan ni Carol, sumakay na din kami dun. Sa loob, naghanapan pa kami sa iisang LRT train. Pasaway.

    We met Aileen at Katipunan Station. Nilakad na lang namin papuntang Ateneo. Pasaway din ang init ng araw. Dinaan na lang namin sa biruan at tawanan. Pagdating sa gym, akala namin makakapag-stroll around ADMU campus pa kami kaso 4pm na pala. We watched the 1st game, Lyceum vs. FEU. By the way, Ana, Karlos and their friend, Christine were there too. Didn't feel much of Ana's presence since she was with another group. Hehe. Mas bonding moments kami ngayon nina Carol, Ate Flo at Aileen.

    We were in support of Aileen, who's rooting for Dahlia Cruz [Lyceum #10]. Hehe. Carol and Ate Flo were so wacky that every time Dahlia would serve, we would scream her name. Funny. Di pa namin kakilala si Dahlia pero mga pasaway kami. Hehe. Anyway it paid off since Lyceum won in 3 sets to 1. Man, Con-con [#8 Lyceum] was so great. Mas nag-shine siya ngayon kesa nung nasa DLSU team pa siya.

    Speaking of DLSU, the second game was DLSU-SSC. So of course, I was for SSC. I hate Lasalle in any sport [MUWAHAHA]. Too bad Jeanne [Espolong #9 of SSC], was not around. Ipapakilala pa naman sana ako ni Ate Flo dun. Nasa Singapore pala. We also thought that Thailand guest players from both teams would be present too, but no shadows of any 6-footer in the match. But somehow the game still became exciting. I really had fun shouting with Carol and Ate Flo. Umalis na pala nun si Aileen, may trabaho pa kasi siya sa Laguna.

    Para kaming mga tanga pero nakakatawa talaga! Napapatingin na nga sa amin yung linesmen at ibang audience eh. Pasaway man, may rason naman. Nakaka-boost din ng esteem yun ah, kapag alam mong may nag-ccheer sa kopunan mo. It became more wackier when some DLSU supporters started to bash us. Mga bading pa nga eh. Haha. Maski natalo Baste [3-0 sets], okay lang kasi na-prove naming pikon sa pintasan at mayayabang talaga ang ilang DLSU cheerers. Hehe.

    Medyo maaga kaming umuwi. Inabot pa naming bukas ang LRT 2. Di na kami nag-dinner, nagtitipid kami para sa mga susunod pa naming lakad. Haha. So I went down at Recto station. I waited for a Retiro jeep but damn, there was non already! Ang tagal kong nag-abang talaga. Nakaramdam na ko ng gutom, wala pa din. Naghanap ako ng ibang ruta, nag-Blumentritt Avenida na lang ako. Hay naku, doble pa tuloy ang sakay ko. Pagdating sa Blumentritt, nuknukan ng tagal bago umalis nung jeep kasi nagpuno pa ng pasehero. Grabe talaga, inatake na naman ako ng ulcer. =/ I reached home around 10pm na. I didn't feel good because besides tiresome, my stomach really ached hard.

    Di ko na sinabi sa mom kong inuulcer ako dahil alam kong papagalitan lang ako. Haha. Pagkakain, inayos ko na yung naiwan kong problema sa installer. I tried to contact again Dino via cellphone. Buti naman at nagreply. Soon enough, I got my puzzling questions answered and realized that I copied the wrong serial number a while ago! Grr talaga haha. Siguro dumadating lang talaga ang mga pagkakataong susubukin ang tiyaga mo para makuha ang isang bagay. Hehe.

x`cez: May pasaway na daga kanina sa bahay. Sayang wala ako nung pinatay nila. Kagulo nga yung mga sofa at kurtina sa sala eh. I missed a huge event. =p Wala tuloy nag-media coverage. HAHAHA.

Di yaman ang hanap ko. Di rin ang maganda o gwapo. Mas gusto ko ang katropang pasaway.. Pasaway na tulad mo at tulad ko. Dahil dun, agad magkakasundo tayo. =)

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April 22 2006 | Saturday | *1:57pm

"V-LEAGUE KICKOFF"

    Perhaps I was just expecting too much. The same and old V-league days would never be pulled back. Today's a different league. No UST. No more running Pimentel. Seldom RP players are present. And a bunch of newbie teams. But even so, somehow I still got pleasure from the season opening of my once-so-called favorite volleyball league. I've proven that despite anonymity of events, there would always be an alternative reason to grin in some way. 

    Blue Eagle Gym was the venue. It was quite far actually, as compared to the usual Rizal Coliseum in Taft. So anyways, I took LRT 2 in Recto. I was to meet my fellow volleyball mates too. Actually I was quite late, call time in Gilmore Station was 2pm whereas I was still in the Recto jeepney at 2pm. Hehe. 

    I met Carol at Legarda Station. Buti naman at pareho ng tren ang nasakyan namin, tulad ng pinlano. Pagdating sa Gilmore Station, sumakay naman sina Ate Flo at Diah [na may hangover pa haha]. Pagkababa ng LRT, nandun na si Aileen. Medyo nagmadali na kami kasi nandun na sina Bang sa ADMU. Paglabas ng istasyon, pwede na sanang lakarin papuntang Ateneo pero nuknukan ng init yung araw! Ang tagal pa namin bago nakakuha ng taxi at kwela mode ang pag-aabang. Haha.

    Sinalubong na kami nina Bang, Tita Belen [mom ni Bang], at yung ate niya. Ang tagal pa namin bago nakaupo kasi maraming kumausap either kay Diah o Bang. Hehe. Nakatayo lang kami sa Entrance habang kung sino-sino nang nakausap namin. We were able to chat with Ate Cherry by the way. She's playing for Adamson this conference. Ang kulet nga niya kausap nun eh, niloloko namin si Ate Flo kasi favorite niya si Ate Cherry. Hehe. It was a lingering moment too because I happened to stare at the players who are seated in front of us. Kanya-kanyang team uniforms, may blue, may green, may red. Pero walang yellow. =( How I wished UST was there too. Somehow I imagined if only UST team was there, we would be welcomed by Ate Rox or Ate Ging. Hay. Sayang. No more school spirit for me to look upon. 

    Dun na namin na-meet sina Ana, Karlos at Jean. Ang tagal bago nagsimula ng Opening Ceremonies. Pasaway. Kaya habang naghihintay, eh nag-kuwentuhan na lang kami ni Karlos tungkol kay Jake [Lagar]. And in fairness to Karlos' gossips, I was so entertained. Haha. So anyways, when ceremonies started, the eight teams were introduced. Konti nga lang talaga ang sumaling RP players, eh sila pa naman yung nagpapa-panabik ng laban kasi ang gagaling nila. Sa totoo lang, naisip kong magiging boring yung mga laro. Na-enjoy na lang namin ang pakikipaglokohan kay Suzy [yung babaeng Shakey's mascot haha].  The first game started past 4:30pm na. It was Adamson vs. PCU. Haha, at talagang bumukod kami ng puwesto kina Diah kasi maka-PCU sila. =p Naglaro kasi sa PCU yung friend ni Diah eh, si Cathy [#12 PCU] saka si Ate Amy, na super favorite naman ni Bang. Hehe. 

    As we transferred to the right side, we just got surprised when a man suddenly chatted with us. He was alone and initially, I thought he was only a spectator. Later on, we realized that he is a sportswriter pala. Of course, I endured such interest in speaking with him. Para bang yung trabaho niya ngayon ang na-iimagine kong hinaharap ko. Hehe! So he asked questions as we responded. He was even jotting notes then. Tamang-tama kasi warm-up time pa lang ng players at di pa nagsisimula yung laro. The conversation went on and soon enough, he got the notion of a good angle of story through us. Na-mention kasi namin yung vleague.tk at saka yung tropa naming nabuo dahil sa v-league. He's beat is on sports feature, by the way, and he writes for Manila Standard. So yun, nagulat naman kami nang sabihin niyang ife-feature kami para sa Miyerkules na isyu ng Manila Standard. Pinicturan pa kami! Haha. We never expected that incident. What an oddity. 

    Adamson swept the game. At grabe, favorite ko na si Ate Cherry ngayon! Sobrang galing niya waah. How I loved those high-leaped spikes. Likewise she was a smart placer, as she saw the wholes at the middle where there was no PCU defense. Sa totoo lang, mas accurate pa nga siya maglaro kaysa kay Ate Rox eh. Maski pareho sila ng edad, mukhang mas athletic pa rin si Ate Cherry. Super mommy. Hehehe.

    Natapos ang laro. Ginutom kami. Umalis muna kami ng ADMU gym para maghanap ng makakainan. I was with Ate Flo, Jean, Carol and Aileen. Si Diah umuwi nang maaga kasi may laro pa daw siya sa Pacita. Palabas na kami nang madaanan ko si Ate Ging. Nanood din pala siya along with a friend. So yun, beso-beso't nag-kumustahan sandali. Pinakilala ko rin pala si Ate Flo sa kanya. Sabi ko babalik kami at kakain lang tapos tinuro ko na lang yung puwesto nina Ana para dun sila maupo. Anyways, we decided to eat at Jolibee. Tawanan moments ulit. Nakapag-recharge ako ng energy haha. Papanoorin pa kasi namin yung second game. =)

    As we went back, dun na rin nga nakaupo sina Ate Ging sa lugar namin. Ang kulit kasama, grabe. Tawa nang tawa. So yun, pinanood namin yung ADMU vs. UE. Ang tagal nga bago matapos eh, 5-setter game! Medyo na-bore kami sa panonood kaya nang-trip na lang kami. =p There's this cyber friend named Jc, whom I was supposed to meet but he didn't show up. We found out that he was there but he refused to introduce himself. Kilala pala nina Jean by face kaya naituro nila sa akin. Hoping that he would finally speak with us, we decided to transfer seats and be at the back row here he was seated. It so happened that he's an Atenean and we were cheering then for his school. Actually it was so hilarious! Sobrang ingay namin. Kapag mag-sserve si Ate Mic2, sinisigaw namin yung name niya! Haha. Tatlo lang kaming tagasigaw (with Ate Flo and Carol), habang sina Jean at Aileen ay mga tagatawa lang. Lolz. Nabukod sina Ana at Karlos, kasama nila si Ate Ging.  Hay grabe. Pero wala pa rin kaming nakitang move kay Jc. Hindi man lang siya lumingon para batiin kami. =p 

    ADMU won. Pumunta na kami sa puwesto nina Ate Ging para sama-sama na. Ate Mic2 dropped by our place to wave hello to Ate Ging. Kinausap niya din nga kami eh, kahit nun lang niya kami nakilala. She found out that we were the ones shouting her name during the game. Natawa siya, kasi naririnig niya talaga yun nung laro. =p Haha. Minutes later, we decided to go out of the gym already. Medyo late na rin kasi, past 9pm na. 

    Sumabay na rin sa amin sina Ate Ging. Hindi yata sila pamilyar sa daan pauwi. So yun, hinintay lang namin sandali yung kasama niyang friend (na ang tagal-tagal naming kasama pero di naipakilala ni Ate Ging, adek! =p) na bumili ng pizza. While waiting, I happened to see Dang who was about to go home too. Naglaro siya sa game kanina. Asteeg. By the way, Dang Ruiz (#6 of ADMU) is my former school mate in STC. Kakagulat nga eh, kasi nasa line-up na siya ng V-league. As a show of congeniality since she also saw me,  I went to her to make beso-beso at kumustahin siya sandali. Nagulat nga siyang nandun ako maski walang UST sa V-league. Hehe. Na-kuwento niyang nasa line-up na rin pala si Anja (another school mate at mas naging ka-close ko nun), kaso nasa U.S. pa. What a blast from the past again. Tsk. Who would think that high school era was in this event too?!? =)

    Nag-aasaran kami ni Ate Ging habang naglalakad. Hehe. Somehow I missed her company. The last time we bonded was in UST campus pa. Nung naglalakad na sa overpass, nauna kami ng lakad ni Ate Ging. Nagulat ako nang bigla na lang siyang magseryoso at nasabing, "Buti nanonood ka pa din V-league Shelly, kahit wala ng UST." >.< Napangisi na lang ako tapos sinabi kong masaya pa din naman eh kasi may katropa akong kasama. It was a stroke of fate that Ate Ging joined us at that time for me to realize something. Perhaps there's no reason to frown just because of my disappointments about the league. Siguro kung kasali nga ang UST, baka di rin namin naka-bonding si Ate Ging nang ganun. In a deeper sense, perhaps if this scenario didn't happen, I won't take notice of my circle of friends who never let goes of the passion for volleyball. Karamihan kasi sa kanila maka-UST din pero kahit walang USTe, nanonood pa din sila. Di lang naman ako nanonood para sa laro. Panahon din yun para makasama ang mga kaibigan. =) Overnight pala sa bahay sina Jean, Aileen and Ate Flo.

    Nag-tricycle kami papuntang LRT 2 Katipunan Station. Crazy Ate Ging, tatawid pa sana sila pero di naman dapat! Nakakatawa yung itsura nila, buti kamo wala ng masyadong sasakyan kasi nasa gitna ng kalsada eh tawa nang tawa! Haha talaga! Too bad we missed the last LRT trip. Nag-jeep na lang kami na Cubao. In the vehicle, Ate Ging punched her funny lines again! Kinuha ko kasi ulit yung cel# niya at pinapa-type ko sa cel ko. Aba, niloloko ba naman akong ibibigay niya sa magnanakaw yung bago kong unit! Adek. =p Tawa din kami nang tawa nung may batang umakyat sa jeep para mamalimos. Nagulat kasi si Ate Ging, akala daw niya kung ano! Haha. Pagbaba, nag-FX pa kami. At dahil marami kami, siksikan sa FX! Nahilo talaga ko nun sa sikip at init. Sumandal na lang ako kay Ate Ging at nagpaypay. Nagpapatawa pa si Ate Ging na walang uutot dahil mamamatay kaming lahat sa suffocation! Hahaha adek. Si Ate Flo naka-kalong kay Aileen, buti hindi nauntog haha. Grabe talaga yung biyaheng yun. Di ko malilimutan.

    Bumaba na kaming apat sa Welcome Rotonda. Si Carol sa España bumaba. We waved goodbye to Ate Ging and her friend. In deed, our way home had a twist because of her. Hehe. Nag-jeep kami ulit hanggang Mayon. Pagbaba, pumunta muna kami sa Mercury Drug para bumili ng kakainin. Pero dahil ang haba ng pila sa bayaran, dun na lang kami sa bakery bumili ng Yakisoba. May binili din pala kaming itlog ng pugo at mani. Yummy. =)

    Sa bahay, binaba lang namin yung mga gamit tapos dumiretso na sa kusina. Hinanda namin yung kakainin. Before watching movies, pinanood muna nila yung vidoes ng tropa. Nakakatuwang mag-reminisce. Pagkatapos nun, nanood na kami ng "40-year old Virgin". Nakakatawa nga eh kaso di ko masyadong napanood. May ka-text kasi ako. After that, we watched "Resident Evil The Apocalypse" as requested by Ate Flo. Naglolokohang matutulog na daw sina Jean at Aileen. Haha. Pero siyempre alam naming ikakatampo ni Ate Flo yun. =p So okay naman, how I loved the action scenes of Milla Jovovich. Tumapos pa ulit kami ng isa pang film, as requested by Aileen and Jean. "Maid in Manhattan" naman. Ang usapan walang tulugan.  Aba, etong si Ate Flo matutulog na daw! Dun na nagsimula ang konting pagka-badtrip. 

    Pinanood kasi namin yung gusto niyang pelikula, sana panoorin din niya yung gusto ng iba pa. For me, it was just okay if we opt to sleep and not watch the 3rd film anymore but it felt like it was so unfair for Aileen and Jean who still wanted to watch it. Pakikisama din kasi yun di ba. I was trying to balance what each friend want. Natahimik si Ate Flo. Nagtampo. Medyo nainis din talaga ko sa kanya nun. How an immature act to spoil a happy sleepover for just a DVD film. Di man siya natulog, di naman kami kinakausap. Ang pangit tignang nasa sulok siya habang natutuwang manood sina Jean at Aileen. Saan ako lulugar nun. 

    The situation was such an abhor, I decided to text message Ate Flo how I felt. I explained my point which I hoped, she understood seriously. Bago kami matulog nang 5am, nag-sorry siya sa akin. Pero ewan ko, parang iba pa rin yung pananaw niya sa pangyayari. Dapat daw di na lang siya namilit manood ng Resident Evil para di daw siya napilit sa Maid in Manhattan. For me, I don't want her to look in that way. What I'm trying to stress is the observance of camaraderie. Ano pa't tinawag na tropa kung hindi marunong makisama sa isa't isa. Hay ewan. Bandang 8am bumangon na kami. Sinimulan ko ng imikan si Ate Flo para maayos na't ayoko ng palakihin pa yung tampo niya. So okay naman, isang oras pa ngang nagka-kuwentuhan tungkol sa lakad kagabi eh. Hinatid ko sila sa sakayan at ang init na naman ng araw. Pag-uwi, diretso ako sa kama at natulog ulit. Ngaraaag.

Spoil the event, eat a gruesome effect. Never let a situation be attached with too much expectations. For once your expectations are never met, you might end up deeming with regrets and uttering with 'what ifs'..

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April 21 2006 |Friday | 09:29pm

"COME AND GO"

    I took my breakfast outside. My mom had just arrived from Batangas and so I got the chance to ask for money again. Hehe. I decided to at Greenwhich [in Mayon]. So I was choosing which food to order when suddenly, someone came upon at my back.. 

    The person was my beat friend, Ayna. Haha. She just lives nearby and it so happened that they were eating at Chowking which was only beside Greenwich. Kasama niya yung mommy at tita niya. Niyaya niya kong dun na lang kumain sa Chowking para mapakilala din niya ko sa tita niyang Singaporean. Tita Florence is taking a vacation here in the Philippines. In fact they'll be in Baguio and Benguet tomorrow along with Ayna. Kainggit nga eh. So yun, Tita Florence was so nice to me. Ma-PR siya kasi kahit unang pag-meet pa lang namin, eh ang dami na naming napag-usapan. Who cares if she's a lesbian...

    Later on, Tita Vangie (Ayna's mom) arrived. Namili kasi siya ng handa para sa birthday ngayon ni Ate Simple (Ayna's elder sister). I was then invited to drop by their house to eat. Nauna na sina Tita Vangie and Tita Florence na umuwi. Naiwan kami ni Ayna sa Chowking. Inubos ko muna yung inorder kong Sweet & Sour Pork meal. Ang dami palang kanin nun, ang bigat sa tiyan. Haha. So yun, nagkuwentuhan kami ni Ayna. Mega update sa buhay-buhay. Things may come and go in our lives but one thing's for sure, that close ties between us never goes. Magbibihis pa sana ko bago pumunta sa bahay nila kaso sa pagpipilit na rin ni Ayna (haha), tumuloy na kami sa kanila.

    Nag-"Sex and The City" marathon kami sa bahay nila. So far we watched six episodes and though I've seen some of the episodes, still I loved it! Nakakatawa kasi yung mga eksena. =p While watching, food never ran out of the table. Everyone was so accommodating especially Tita Vangie. Gusto yata talaga kong patabain. Haha. Besides food, I was so enriched with stories. Kung anu-anong napag-usapan namin. Kakarating lang kasi  niya galing Singapore. Madalas silang magbakasyon ngayon. 

    Nagulat na lang ako kasi isasama daw nila ko sa CEBU! Wuhoo. Gustung-gusto din kasi ako isama ni Ayna, halos nakakatanda kasi yung kasama niya. Siyempre natuwa naman ako. Di pa kasi ako nakakapunta ng Cebu. Nava-vibes kong masaya yun kasi bukod sa mag-babarko kami,  makakasama ko pa ng limang araw yung best friend ko! It takes 1 1/2 day to reach Cebu via Super Ferry. =) Pamasahe lang daw ang isipin ko, sagot na nila yung iba pang gastos! Wow di ba. I feel so excited na! 

    After watching, we decided to make use of the PC. Ayna showed me several photos of her relatives and friends. Bonding time talaga. Kulitan moments din sa pagpi-picturan. Hehe. I also tried to play Sims 2 for a while. Tinignan ko kung okay lang bang laruin yun para i-install ko din sa PC ko. A little later, I decided to go home already. Magpapaalam pa kasi ako para sa Cebu trip haha. I reached home 4:30pm na. 

    Nakalimutan kong magpaalam na pupunta ako kina Ayna. Kaya medyo na-sermonan pa. Mainit din ang ulo ng nanay ko dahil sa pagkakahuli ng driver namin. Tinubos pa kasi sa halagang 2,000php yung lisensiya dahil lang sa 'disobedience of the stop light'. Ang eng-eng kasi ni Aps. Haha. Nung una, ayaw pa akong payagan na mag-Cebu. Kesyo ang dami ko na daw ginagastos, hay ewan. I decided to be calm and allowed my mom's anger to set out first. I mean, never collide with a strong voice when your receiver has a strong voice too. You won't get understood because each one is at the top of her voice. Iniba ko muna yung topic. I let her speak and I listened. Di naman mahirap kausap mommy ko eh, basta maayos kang magpapaalam. Maya-maya, tadah! "Huling bakasyon grande na yan ah, pasalubong na lang galing sa Cebu.." ^-^

    Kinagabihan, dumalaw kami sa lamay. Our neighbor, Lola Edad passed away last April 18th. Huling araw na ng lamay ngayon kaya naisipan naming dumalaw man lang at makiramay. On the way, we met Sida, my long lost childhood playmate and Lola Edad's granddaughter. Ang tagal ko na siyang di nakita. Nagawi siguro sila ulit sa neighborhood kasi nga namatay si Lola Edad. We were like best buddies then -- magkakampi sa Chinese garter, magkalaroo sa lutu-lutuan, magkasama sa lahat ng galaan. Time swept away that somehow I've forgotten those days of childhood. As I saw her a while ago, there was really a huge change in her appearance. I hardly recognized her. If it wasn't because of Ate Aileen's greeting to her, I won't say 'hello' to Sida too. Nagulat din ako kasi may dala-dala siyang bata. Anak pala niya. Grabe, parang kailan lang eh manika ang hawak namin at ngayon ay totohanang bahay-bahayan na ang nilalaro niya sa buhay niya.

    We stayed at Lourdes Chapel for just a moment only. Wala din naman kaming masyadong kakilala sa mga kamag-anak ni Lola Edad. Well I saw a few familiar faces and they were Sida's elder sisters who are my former playmates too. Pag-uwi namin, tumambay lang ako sa labas sandali. Mainit kasi sa loob ng bahay. Ka-text ko yung mga ka-vleague pals. Opening day na bukas ng Shakey's Vleague. Hehe. Perhaps it's going to be another exciting jaunt for tomorrow. =)

Just remember that when something goes and leaves your reach, there's a better thing coming back to your grasp. 

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April 20 2006 | Thursday | *12:16am

"IDOLS ARE THE IDEALS"

    I was supposed to go to Kc's house today to get my burned CDs. She didn't reply to my text message so when I was planning to get fixed, I decided to cancel it. Baka kako wala siya bahay. Hay naku, na-realize kong di pala na-send yung message ko! So wala rin siyang natanggap kaya pala di nag-rereply. Gabi na nang makita ko yun. Too late to continue my trip. Sayang.

    In the absence of those MP3s, yet I continued organizing my music in the PC. I spent the night uploading sounds from CD to Windows Media Player. Na-reformat nga kasi yung PC ko di ba, kaya nawala lahat ng music. =/ Eh I can't live without music pa naman. It's my concord instrument whenever I do my works. It makes me feel relaxed and I bet everyone does. =) Through that, I was able to say 'hello again' to my oldie CDs stacked in my CD rack. It made me appreciate my J.Lo collections once again. It's been a while, I've been busy with sports. Tsk. 

    I've been idolizing Jennifer Lopez since high school. If I wasn't mistaken, in 2nd year. I would really go crazy for new J.Lo stuffs in the market. Maski mahal, maski maliit lang na J.Lo thingy kinukuha ko. Hehe. Adek. Pati mga kamag-anak at kaibigan kong malalapit alam yan, kaya kapag nakakakita din sila ng mga "ka-J.lohan" kinukuha nila para sa akin! Haha. Perhaps she's just darn great and I seem to admire her multi-talents.  She sings, she dances, she acts. She also poses like a real-time model, has a clothing line, has perfume products, has a restaurant and most of all, she's so beautiful. How I wished I have the same luck in life like her. Hehe. And maybe that's the reason why she's my idol -- an ideal person which I want my life to be patterned with. Each one has his or her idols I guess. We think highly and look up to these people. In some way, the things which our idols have are the things we lack and we truly want. That's why we look at them, so as to fill in what we desire. 

    I hope to meet J.Lo someday. Baka mahimatay ako pag nagkita kami. Hahaha.

Don't be fooled by the rocks I've got, I'm still I'm still Jenny from the block. 

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April 19 2006 | Wednesday | 08:20pm

"BOOKS AND COOKS"

    I went again to UST today. It was so hot at home, likewise take advantage of UST Library's air-conditioning units. Haha. Umalis ako sa bahay bandang 12:30pm. Nanghiram ako ng registration form kay Chuchie para makapasok sa library.

    As I arrived Dapitan gate, right away I texted Chuchie. Nagkita kami sa tapat ng AB. So yun, nakausap ko siya sandali at sabi niya, na-eenjoy niya yung summer class ng Statistics. Siguro nga, kasi kahit papaano may pinagkakaabalahan siya. Anyways, she didn't take long since her class would start at 1pm. I went to the library then.

    Yun na naman yung gwardiya sa library entrance! Haha. As I expected, he recognized me again. Nakita naman niyang may dala na kong reg form, kaya pinapasok na ako kaagad. Ji-noke pa kong, "Nagdala ka na talaga ngayon ha!" Haha. Adek. So I took the elevator to the Serials section, 6th floor. I asked the librarian of the microfilm is available already but I just got surprised when I was told that the plug wasn't working still. Medyo nabadtrip nga ko eh, kasi sabi sa akin kahapon maaayos na daw yng ngayon. Sayang naman ang pagpunta ko, nag-scan na lang ako ng newspapers na hindi pa naka-microfilm. I borrowed April 2006 Manila Bulletin newspapers. Tamang-tama, nakita ko yung sinasabi sa akin ni Imee na picture ni Luanzon, dated April 12, 2006 along with Jojo Duncil. Haha. =p May mga nabasa din akong news about sa V-league. Pero siyempre, wala na yung pangalan ni Ate Rox sa mga articles na yun.

    A stroke of luck, later on the microfilm technician came. I found such possibility to make use of the device. Hinintay ko na lang. Nag-internet muna ko sa Social Science section. Pagbalik ko, okay na. I was glad that my trip to the library wasn't useless at all. Nakuha ko na yung ilang articles ulit ni Ate Rox. Ang sakit nga sa ulo eh, ang hirap kasing i-kontrol ng microfilm knobs. After printing a few papers, uggh something strange happened. The microfilm shut off. I asked assistance from the librarians but too bad, they can't fix it too. Kaka-paayos lang pero sira na ulit! Grrr. Bulok. Haha. Umuwi na lang ako nang hindi pa nakukuha lahat ng articles. Siguro sa ibang araw na lang ako babalik ulit.

    Di naman ako gaanong napagod kaya may powers pa ko para sa ibang bagay. Aba, sinong mag-aakalang hinila ako ng kusina ngayon!? Haha. I prepared a scrumptious dinner. Bumili muna ko rekados at hinanda ko yung mga gagamitin. Inuna ko yung paggawa ng dessert, mango crema. =) Yummy. After nun, nagluto ako ng fried rice with beef. Grabe, nangamoy sa buong bahay yung niluto ko. Katakam-takam. Madalas kasi akong pintasan sa bahay na di marunong magluto. Pero ang totoo, wala lang talaga kong hilig. I have moods in cooking. If I don't feel like chopping and mixing, I won't force myself. Swerte lang siguro yung mga tao sa bahay kanina na sinipag akong magluto. Hehe. 

    Right now I'm getting the reward for that perspiring cooking session. Kain tayo ng mango crema. ^.^

The best way to impress a man is through his stomach. 

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April 18 2006 | Tuesday | *2:10am

"DIGGING INTO THE PAST"

    Wala akong magawa. Naisipan ko na lang mag-UST Library. Na-realize kong exciting din pala.

    I woke up late. My eyes hurt hard and I was drowsy. I went down to crave for food. Somehow I went back to my nerves. Nag-isip ako ng magagawa. Tanggap ko ng wala na talagang kong trabaho. Bigla kong naalala na di ko pa pala naibalik kay Kc yung raketa niya. Pumunta ako sa bahay nila. Malapit rin lang sa USTe yun, naisipan ko na ring pumunta sa campus. Matagal ko na kasing balak mag-library, kukunin ko yung mga articles tungkol kay Ate Rox sa Varsitarian. May tribute akong ibibigay sa kanya, sukli man lang ngayong retired na siya sa balibol. 

    Sumabay ako sa sasakyan ng mom kong pauwi ng Batangas. Nahuli pa kami sa Blumentrritt. Si Aps kasi eh, sumunod sa kaharap na trak na nag-'go' kahit 'stop' pa. Pasaway. Sa Forbes na lang ako nagpababa, mamaya ako pa mapagbuntunan kung sa Dapitan gate pa ko. Okay lang din, at least nakapaglakad-lakad ako ulit sa school.

    As I entered, I found out that library is only open for students taking a summer class. So obviously, I am not allowed. Kelangang magpakita ng reg form bago makapasok. So ginawan ko ng paraan. Sayang naman kasi yung ipinunta ko di ba. Pinairal ko na naman ang aking acting career. Hehe. Kakatawa, kasi kagat na kagat sa eksena yung gwardiya! =p Pinalabas kong nag-ssummer class talaga ko at naiwan ko yung reg form sa bahay. Eh di kunwari nagulat akong kelangan pala. Si Ms.-Natataranta-'kuno', tatawag sa cellphone tapos ipapadala sa mom yung reg form! Hahaha. Tinanong ng guard kung saan pa manggagaling yung mom ko daw, sabi ko sa CALOOCAN pa. Nyahaha! Ang layo. Bakit daw ipapadala ko pa, makiusap na lang ako sa Information Area. O di ba, nagka-hint na ko kung paano lulusot! So nung una, tumatanggi pa ko't ipapadala ko na lang talaga yung reg form. Lalong naawa sa akin yung gwardiya. Lalo pa kong pinilit na pumunta sa Librarian [HAHA]. Pupunta naman talaga ko eh, gusto ko lang mang-trip. =p Mabait naman yung librarian, binigyan agad ako ng Temporary Entrance Slip. Coolness. So yun, nakaakyat na rin ako sa taas.

    Sa Serials section dapat ako maghahanap ng news articles. Kaso, sa kamalas-malasan eh walang saksakan daw yung microfilm ngayon! Bumaba ako sa Filipiniana para sa Varsitarian. So yun, ilang oras din akong naghanap. Naaliw ako sa hitsura ng dating school paper. I was able to dig in from 1991-1997. Changes of the layout, content as well as the people in the pictures were obviously noticed. Just how time flew and perhaps those Varsitarian issues that we have today will soon become brownish in color soon. Malalaos din ang uso ngayon. Makakalimutan din ang mga isyu ngayon.  I was able to obtain an article about UST Volleybelles where Ate Rox was there. Haha, perhaps you will get surprised too if you happen to see it. =p 

    Bandang 5pm umuwi na ko. Nasalubong ko pa si Sir Dennis sa may AB Pav. Hehe. Kagulat nga eh, I saw a familiar face. So anyways, before going home I bought from Wendy's. Butas na naman ang bulsa ko dahil Bacon Mushroom Melt combo na ulit ang na-tipuhan ko. Haha. I reached home and I tried to look again on what I got from the library. Mission accomplished. Pero bukas siguro babalik ulit ako ng library. Sana ayos na yung microfilm. At sana di na yun yung gwardiya bukas! HAHAHA. Adek. 

Changes are inevitable. 

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April 17 2006 | Monday | *1:15am

"MISSED CHANCES"

    May mga bagay na sadyang di para sa iyo.

    Napakahabang araw. Nakakapagod. Nakakaiyak. Pinagsiksikan ang mga pangyayari sa iisang araw. Kakaiba talaga. Magkahalong saya't panghihinayang ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Minsan nga siguro, masakit malamang may nawala sa iyo. Di man tao, di man bagay, bagkus mga oportunidad. Isang iglap na pagtamasa, isang iglap ding mabubura sa eksena. Bare with my detailed story.

    I followed my heart, I pushed through with my job search. As early as 5:30am, I was readily awake and somehow I was determined of what I wanted for this day -- to prove something and that was, to get an immediate job. My mom was still in doubt on my moves. I thought then that perhaps, she was not just believing in me and so I wanted to show her that I can make a snap out of my decision.  And yeah, many people have been really asking, why bother get a job whereas I hardly need it? Well I have several answers to respond -- I want to try, I want to earn money on my own, I want a worthwhile summer break, and I want to be proud of myself that I can do it.  

The Referral Interview..

    I applied for Customer Service Representative which I hopefully wanted to take for a month as a summer job. My mom saw this job open in Manila Bulletin last Sunday and she just told me about it. I went alone and it was my choice. 

    The route to PLDT Boni Avenue was such an adventure since I didn't really know how to get there. I was left with my brother's improvised map which he drew last night. I depended on it and I was quite excited to use it actually. Haha. Mala-amazing race talaga. So I took a jeep to Welcome Rotonda and there I rode another jeep which had dropped me to Edsa Quezon Avenue. A couple of walks and staircases after, I took an MRT [Quezon Ave Station] which had lead me to Boni Station. And man, I just got surprised with the numerous passengers! Although the vehicle was air-conditioned, it seemed useless because the smell was so awful. It  unpleasantly came from different people's body odor. Eww talaga. Para bang yung niligo ko nung umaga eh nawala. Haha. As  I went down the MRT, I took a jeep again and finally I reached PLDT building. 

    As I entered the building, I was directed to the lobby where other applicants were also there. Luckily, I arrived on time and so, I was included in the first batch of applicants. Later on, I submitted my resume to a clerk and told her that I was applying for a summer job. She then gave me a small slip as she  told me to proceed to Room 209. I took a written exam along with around 20+ applicants. I passed. Madali lang naman. Para lang akong nag-take ng mas madaling version ng spot-the-error test ni Sir Esguerra. Hehe. There were a few who got eliminated. At naks, naisip ko tuloy: "mala-Star Circle Quest ito! May na-oout! Hahaha."

   Passed applicants were instructed to go to another room. I filled up a form. Minutes later, the initial interview started. So I waited... and darn I was almost the last person to be called! Perhaps it was because I finished the written exam ahead of others and my resumé was at the bottom. Ang Daya. Grabeng paghihintay yun, nakakaubos ng pasensya. Anyways, finally my turn was given. Dun ako napunta sa babaeng interviewer. As I entered her office, siyempre naka-smile na agad at bumati agad ako. So okay naman. She just asked several stuffs such as 'Why did I choose Journalism as my course' and 'What are the things I like to do'. I passed the referral interview. Possibly, I also had the edge since the interviewer is an Alumna of UST. Taga-AB pa, haha.

    I went to the lobby to wait for my Endorsement Paper. Akala ko tapos na, aba nang mabasa ko yung papel eh dapat pa palang pumunta ng Ayala! Nagulat naman ako, kasi di ko alam na ganun pala. I didn't know how to get there. No more rough maps to follow through. Honestly I was in doubt then of what to do. Pabalik-balik ako ng lakad, nag-iisip kung anong maiging gawin. Kinuha ko na yung I.D. ko sa guard and tadah, I got the solution to my problem! What happened? Well, I saw  a familiar-faced applicant who passed the initial referral too and I just thought of befriending her because I believe she would go to Ayala too. Her name is Mae, from Leyte, who's trying to find luck in Manila. She was accompanied by her best friend, Elenor who knows the route to PLDT MGO in Ayala. So yun, pumayag naman siyang sumabay ako sa kanila. Instant frenchipz, feeling close kami sa isa't isa! Well, iba na talaga ang makakapal ang mukha. =p Haha.

Second Interview..

    We took an MRT and went down at Ayala Station. Nag-lunch muna kami, 1:30pm pa naman yung interview. Tabi-tabi yung malls dun: SM, Greenbelt, Landmark, Ayala Center and others. Kaya nga ba ang tagal namin bago nakapili ng kakainan at siyempre, nagkahiyaan mode pa kung gusto ba ng isa't isa na doon kumain. So anyways, nauwi ang lahat sa Jolibee. While eating, I took the chance of getting to know my newly-found friends a bit. It was pretty okay but it's just that, they have their own native language [Bisaya yata] which they always used. Sa ibang pagkakataon, di ako maka-relate. There was a moment when I felt such loneliness. Somehow I didn't enjoy my meal because my emotions were quite baffled. Ganun pala kapag naghahanap ng trabaho, pilit kang makikisama at makikisawsaw sa panlasang hindi mo gamay.

    Pagkakain, naglakad na naman kami ng malayo. Ang sakit sa paa. As we reached PLDT MGO, we were told that we should proceed to the 7th floor. When I got there, I presented my Endorsement Paper and in return, I was given another sheet to fill up. Exercise paper pala yun. Okay lang din, ka-tipo ng exercises ni Ma'am Filip sa English. Call center situations were given and you would sustain a respond to the situations. Another exercise was about describing pictures. Meron ding review on tongue twisters, subject-verb agreement. A little later, a man spoke in front of us. At naman, ANG GWAPO! Haha. Nagtawag siya ng mga pangalan at nakasama ako dun. Siya pala yung 2nd interviewer! Grabe. Nakadagdag sa ka-guwapuhan niya yung ganda ng boses niya. Fluent English-speaker talaga. <3 

    I was the third person to be called for interview. While waiting, I happened to meet new friends again. One was a girl from UP Diliman [I.T. stud] who's on her 4th year. Another girl is from Perpetual Help, 18 y/o at mag-ssummer job lang din. Isang girl lang ang nakuha ko ang pangalan, si Angelika. Matagal ko kasi siyang nakausap kasi nalaman kong taga-Letran pala siya. At tignan mo nga naman ang liit ng mundo, kakilala niya si Ate Tynez! Haha. She's a fresh grad by the way.

    My nervousness stroke as I went for my turn. Ewan ko ba, siguro dahil alam kong magaling magsalita yung kakausap sa akin. I tried to control myself as I sat and grabeee, nginitian ako ni Ryan [yung interviewer]. Haha talaga. So he started to talk, and he really stunned me. Thank God I was able to level his speaking. He read my bio data as he continued to ask questions. Parang ganun ulit, tungkol sa personal likes ang mga tanong. But added to that, were questions about the demands of the job. I answered them all positively, maski ayaw ko nang graveyard shifting, overtime and relocation. Haha. =p Soon, he told me an observation about my speaking which somehow, had hit me. Marami daw akong pino-pronounce na 'you know'. Oo nga noh! Siguro nahawa lang ako kay J.Lo na puro 'you know' din ang pattern ng pagsasalita. So I thought that would be the reason for my failure. The next exercise was to describe six sequenced pictures. Guided by the 'you know' syndrome, I tried to be conscious and removed it. After that, I just got surprised of what Ryan said: "You have a sweet voice, Shelly. It seems that customers will like you and with that, you're in.." Kakatuwa naman! Pasok na ko, sinabihan pa ko nang ganun ng gwapo! Hahaha. Adek.

    Hay naku, akala ko okay na. Nagulat na lang ako nang sabihin ni Ryan na kailangan ko pang pumunta sa Vocativ para sa huling interview. San ka pa, eh sa Taguig yun! Nuknukan ng layo, di ko alam ang papunta, at 7pm dapat nandun na. Naisipan ko munang umuwi dahil maaga pa naman [around 3pm]. Papunta din kasi sa house nun sina Ate Flo at Ana, kukunin yung kuting. Hehe.

Pahinga Mode Muna..

    Parang gulay akong umuwi sa bahay. Mainit kasi nung pag-uwi ko at ang layo pa ng biyahe! Dumating sa puntong bigla kong natanong, ano bang pinaggagawa ko't pinahihirapan ko ang sarili ko? So anyways, I went straight to my mom to share my experiences so far. Nag-ask ako ng pabor kung pwede ba kong ihatid sa Taguig. Nung una, pumayag naman siya. Kuya ko pa nga ang mag-ddrive eh. I worried no more since it was easily settled.

    Ate Flo and Ana came. So yun, kuwentuhan sandali habang nilalaro yung kuting. Kumain din kami ng merienda dahil gutom na rin ako. Around 5:30pm, I told them that I have to go. Si Ana din pala, kasi may trabaho pa siya. I went to my mom to tell her that we were about to go but suddenly, she was at the tone of, "Sure ka bang gusto mo yan ha, sa The Fort pa yun." Naramdaman ko ng ayaw na akong samahan. Hay! Luckily, when I did mention it to Ate Flo, she became a willing friend to accompany me! Grabe, wala akong masabi kay Ate Flo kasi parang girl scout sa lahat ng lakaran. Hehe.

On Our Way to Taguig

    Nag-LRT1 na lang kami para mahatid namin si Ana. Medyo kabado pa nga eh, kasi may dalang kuting at bawal sa LRT. So Ana went down at Doroteo Jose and I was left with Ate Flo. Pagbaba namin ng Gil Puyat, nag-abang kami ng bus na Ayala. 6pm na nun kaya di na namin nagawang mag-abang ng matagal. Nag-taxi na lang kami. 

    Kulang na lang eh paliparin namin yung taxi. Haha. I was hopeful to reach Vocativ on time. At habang traffic, nag-dibdibang kuwentuhan na lang kami ni Ate Flo. Maaliw man lang ako kahit papaano. Muntik pa kong mapaiyak sa pinagsasabi na naman ni Ate Flo haha. Ah ewan. So anyway, nung nasa The Fort na, nagsimula na kaming magtanung-tanong kung saan yung Vocativ. By chance, we were able to find it right away. So I entered the building, lavishing as it may seem.

Final Interview

    I went to the lobby of Vocativ. I met again some familiar-faced applicants which includes Angelika. We were only a few and yeah, 'many were called but a few were chosen' [nukx!]. I thought I would be late but in fact, I was just in time  and the instructor had just arrived.  What a fluent English speaker again and this time, that Ms. Sharon Almazan was a slang one. 

    We proceeded to a spacey hallway. We sat according to the list given and I was the fourth. So Ms. Almazan gave some briefing. She explained that the final interview would be conducted by a foreigner client. For a while I got nervous, what if I would fail to understand his accents? I mean, the interviewer is an American. That's a different scenario as compared to the 2 previous interviews.  

    I remained calm by just texting with Ate Flo. She  was waiting for me in Jolibee. Nakipag-kuwentuhan na lang din ako kay Angelika. Nakakatuwang isiping sa isang araw, pwede kang magkaroon ng mabuting kaibigan agad. =) Soon enough, other applicants started to talk to one another. Cool. Sa bawat paglabas ng isang applicant, tinatanong siya kung anu-ano bang tinatanong ni David [yung foreign client]. Hehe. Tawanan tuloy yung grupo. Feedbacks were told that he was so funny. Through that, my nervousness somehow faded.  

    Finally my turn came and it was via speaker phone lang pala. I was then introduced by Ms. Almazan and right away David gleefully greeted me. At hindi nga nagkamali ang feedbacks, ang kulit nga niyang kausap! Haha. Conversation just went around my hobbies. As I told him that I write stuffs then publish it in the net, he even asked for the URL of my blog. Hehe. I went out of the room with a relieved feeling. It was over. Resulta na lang ang hihintayin.

    Puwede sanang makuha agad yung resulta, pero dapat hintaying makatapos ang lahat na ma-interview. Hindi ko na hinintay, kasama ko din kasi si Ate Flo. Mas pinili kong gumimik kasama siya. Hehe. So I waved goodbye to the group, who all loudly said their goodbyes too.  

Market Market

    Naunang plano namin ni Ate Flo na pumuntang Letran dorm para tumambay kina Diah. Nag-shuttle kami, pero mali pala yung nasakyan namin haha. Dumaan pa tuloy sa Market Market at naisipan naming bumaba dun. It was my first time to go there. 

    We looked for a restaurant where we could eat. Soon we decided to eat at Max's. I treated myself and also Ate Flo for such victorious trip. I mean, I never thought it would end like that. So kuwentuhan ulit habang kumakain. Pagkakain, naupo muna kami sa labas. Dun sa tabi ng sprinkling fountains. Hehe. Ang aliwalas nga eh, ang sarap tumambay at magkuwentuhan. Di na namin namalayan ang oras, 9pm na pala. Nalimutan naming papunta pala dapat kami kina Diah. Haha. Di na natuloy ang pagpunta ng Letran kasi 10pm ang curfew sa dorm.

    Nag-shuttle kami ulit tapos nag-MRT. Nakahabol pa kami sa last trip. Pagbaba ng Q Ave, nag-jeep kami. Medyo natakot ako sa katabi kong mamang mukhang maniac. Buti naman at walang masamang nangyari. So Ate Flo and I split ways at Burger King in Welcome Rotonda. Ugh, how can I ever thank her for being a heroic friend. >.<

DIRGE AFTERSHOCKS

    I felt so tired as I reached home. Iika-ika na nga yung lakad ko eh. 

    Nahiga ako sa kwarto, kausap ko yung mom ko. She started to point out her real impressions with regard to this whole job thing. Generally speaking, she's not in favor of it. Inisa-isa na niya yung mga negatibong epekto ng pagpasok ko sa trabaho sa vocativ -- kesyo malayo, magastos, delikado. Baka daw di ko kayanin at tatlong araw ng trabaho pa lang, sumuko na ko. Suddenly, my cellphone beeped and Angelika texted me. She waited for the results in Vocativ and she told me that I passed too! I was officially hired then. I was so happy but somehow there was no impact from my mom. She continued with her so-called 'Sermon on the Mount'. Besides that, requirements were given which we must bring as we attend the orientation next day, same place. Paano mo ba naman kasi mailalakad yung NBI clearance, SSS, cedula, etc. nang isang araw! Naiinis ako sa sitwasyon. Dun na ko nagsimulang maguluhan. Itutuloy ko ba o hinde. Life and death situation ba.

    I transferred to my sister's room and I confined myself to cry. Perhaps I was just so tired and my emotion was at hype. Sino ba naman kasing di maiiyak sa sitwasyong ganun -- gusto mo pero ayaw ng sitwasyon. 

...To Say 'Yes'...

    I rapidly thought of what I've  lengthily done all-day and if I drop the hired job, all my efforts would somehow be useless. NAPAKALAKING SAYANG. Naisip ko yung pagod ko, sakit ng paa, init ng araw, sakit ng ulo, kinaing panahon para sa pagkuha ng trabahong inasam ko. Going back to my real purpose, I intended to prove something to myself but it felt like I would be a loser, a failure if I didn't get a job. I passed but I wasn't able to continue it. That's how to face it. Ang sakit tanggaping may papakawalan akong oportunidad. Kasi di ba, nandiyan na nga, pinalampas mo pa. Konting tiyaga na lang, makakalaga na ko ng sariling sinikapang pera. 

...To Say 'No'...

    Forget about the hardships this morning, anyway it was a real-time EXPERIENCE. And okay I tried to be fair -- I thought about my mom's points. Tama din naman siya eh, malayo. Ako na mismo ang umaming nakakapgod ang biyahe. Kung malapit lang sana yung location, okay na eh. Yan din kasi ang rason kung bakit magastos at delikado. Another thing was, getting into the job would mean giving up my escapades. Could I give up my travel impulsiveness? No more gimmicks. I would seldom meet up with my friends and pals. I could barely use the computer too, so no more cyber life. There would be chances that I'll be forced to do something which was required instead of doing what I simply want.

    I seek advice and I talked with Ate Flo on the phone. Siya ang unang makakaunawa ng lahat dahil alam niya yung sitwasyon. She gave both sides of the situation but of course since she's a  friend, she mentioned the things which might get sacrificed if I get into the job. Para sa kanya, huwag ko ng ituloy. Masyado daw akong nagmamadali, bakit daw ba kasi magta-trabaho pa ko. I must rather get the delight of a workless summer break. There are those people who, much wanted to take a break and go out with friends, can neither do it because they're tied with their jobs. Nabanggit niya yung sitwasyon ni Ana, na bangag palagi dahil sa trabaho. Nabanggit niya yung sitwasyon niya, na nag-aabsent pa at nakakaltasan para tumakas sa trabaho. Di naman kami gipit para kumayod ako. Di naman ako pinipilit mag-trabaho ng nanay ko. At na-touch ako sa sinabi ni Ate Flo na, di ko naman daw kelangan pa maghanap ng i-pprove sa ibang tao at sa sarili ko, dahil marami na kong naaabot. >.<  Kakaiyak talaga. Tapos nabanggit pa niya yung panonood namin ng V-league. Paano na lang daw kung busy na ko't di na makakapanood. "Di habang-panahon may ganyang balibol." Waah oo nga naman. Bakit ba kasi pilit akong tumatalon sa ibang eksena na agad. Baka paglaon pagsisihan kong minadali ko ang pag-eenjoy at kapag nawala na yun, gustuhin ko mang balikan pero wala na kong babalikan.

    1am na kami natapos sa pag-uusap. Di pa din ako agad nakatulog. Umiyak na lang ako ulit. Pinili kong malunod na lang sa kapaguran, kasi ayoko ng mag-isip ng tungkol dun. At di ko na lang nga namalayang tulog na pala ko. Pero narinig ko yung huling boses ng nanay ko, "Nakatulog sa sobrang pagod. Kawawa naman." HAY!!!!!!!

    Eh ano pa nga bang magagawa ko, sumuko na rin ako. Di naman ako mabibigyan ng allowance, di naman ako masasamahang maglakad ng mga NBI clearance at mabigat din sa loob na suwain ang ina di ba. Mas maigi sigurong tanggapin na lang na hindi talaga para sa akin yung trabaho. Lunok sa lupa. May rason ang lahat ng bagay. Di rin naman nasayang ang lahat dahil may mga natutunan ako. At least I was able to reach different places in a day. I was able to go on my own. I was able to make friends instantly. Beat that. Isang buwan halos na lang naman eh, pasukan na ulit. Sa susunod na bakasyon, OJT na. Yun na ang panahong kailangan na talagang mag-trabaho. Bitter bitter.

The hardest thing about growing up is that you have to do what's best for you even if it means breaking a heart, including your own.

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April 16 2006 | Sunday | 09:34pm

"THROUGH HIM, WITH HIM, IN HIM.."

    I dropped by Kc's house in the afternoon to return stuffs I owe her. I was able to bring back her DVDs but stupid me, I've forgotten her badminton racket! Haha. Nakakahiya tuloy, dahil ilang buwan na yung nasa akin. =p So anyways, I also copied MP3s from her and transferred it in my neophyte cellphone. Nalula ako sa dami ng MP3s nina Kc at napuno ang memory card ko! Haha. Nagpa-burn din pala ko ng MS Office 2003 para nga ma-update yung version ng Ms Frontpage ko. Sa pag-aakalang okay na ang lahat, hindi pa rin! Grr. Wala pala talagang Frontpage sa Ms Office 2003 at kasalukuyan akong naghahanap ng MS Office XP installer. Hay. I badly need it, I have many web pages to edit. =/ 

    As I went home around 6pm, nag-dinner lang ako sandali. Habang kumakain ng spaghetti, nag-kuwentuhan kami ng mom ko. She did mention of a summer job open in PLDT which she saw in the ads this morning. She advised  me to apply since I've been concealing interests for a job. May resumé na ko, may 2x2 picture na ko, at sabi ng kuya ko, mukha namang kaya kong makapasok dun. Ituturo na lang niya kung paano pumuntang PLDT Building (in Boni). So yun, sabi ko pag-iisipan ko muna. Medyo nag-alangan ako kung bukas na ba ko mag-aaply. Iniisip ko din kung magsasama ba ko ng kasabayan sa pag-aaply. Mahirap din kasing nag-iisa. Para bang sasabak ako nang walang kaalam-alam.

    Nagsimba ako ng 7-8pm. In deed, I was seeking for a fixed decision on this job thingy through divine intervention. I was struck with the priest's homily on "God's presence". It said that in a any relationship, it's important to have presence of each other so that it  may contain such assurance of loyalty. Somehow I was enlightened to push through with my job search, for I know that no matter what happens, God will stand by me. Di ko naman kasi maiisipang mag-trabaho kung hindi Niya pinlano yun di ba. At saka, gusto kong i-take yung challenge sa akin ng mom ko. Minsan kasi nasabi na niya sa aking, "Wag ka na muna mag-trabaho, di mo pa kaya." Sa totoo lang, naiinis ako kapag minamaliit ako. Di lang sweldo ang hinahabol ko, gusto kong may mapatunayan. So perhaps there's really a purpose behind all these. 

    So a while ago, I prayed that I'll just go with the flow. It's up to fate whether it's my chance to have a job or not but I'm sure already that I'm willing to try. Harinawa makarating ako sa PLDT Building gamit ang rough sketch ng kuya. Sana di ako mawala. Sana gumana nang matino ang instincts ko. Sarinawa magising ako nang maaga. Sana hindi ako pumalpak sa adventure trip kong to. Through him, with him and in him,  so be it. Wish me luck guys. HAHA.

When you feel like the road gets divided into two, try to pause for a while, feel your instincts and ask for Divine guidance.

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April 15 2006 | Saturday | *1:24am

"TECHY TALK"

    In deed it was a tiring techy day but I’m so thankful for this blessed day! >o<

    Pinlano naming mag-SM San Lazaro nina Ate Aileen ngayon. Total rin lang eh mainit sa bahay, tambay na lang kami sa pinakamalapit na mall. So dapat mga 4pm aalis at mauuna ako nang konti kasi idadaan ko pa sana kina Kc yung DVDs niya. Pero biglang naiba ang lakad ko dahil sa nanay ko. Mas naging kapana-panabik. Hehe.

    Natulog ako nung tanghali at pagkagising ko, sinabihan na lang ako ng mom kong aalis kami -- mag-SM North Edsa daw kami para bibili na ko ng cellphone at ipapa-reformat yung computer. Dapat kasi, Linggo pa kami pupunta dun pero dahil siguro sa bored na yung mom ko, naisipan na niya ngayon. So the initial plan of going to SM San Lazaro got cancelled and we went to SM North instead with my mom, brother and Schenly.

    We spent the whole time in Cyber Zone. First, we dropped the CPU in Complink for a repair since virus had spread terribly. At dahil nuknukan ng tagal, bumili muna kami ng cellphone unit. Nakakatuwa, kasi di ako maniwalang ibibili na ko ng mom ko nun. Haha! Soon enough, we found the cheapest Nokia 6630 and along with it, is a brand new Globe sim card. =) Gustung-gusto ko kasi yung camera at mp3 player nun. Coolness.

    Kumain muna kami sa Wendy’s habang hinihintay yung CPU. At grabe talaga, inabot kami ng 7pm sa sobrang tagal ng pag-aayos ng CPU! Sabi nung technician, malubhang virus daw kasi yung nag-infect sa PC ko. Pabalik-balik sa system yung virus. So now I realized that I must be extra careful with my devices. Just imagine how painstaking it is to fix it. Though these are man-made, sometimes you cannot simply control its flow. Literally, it will eat your time and patience. Kung di lang ako masaya nun sa bago kong unit, baka nagmaktol na ko sa kakahintay. Haha. Bukod sa masakit sa paa, eh nakakainip. Buti na nga lang at naka-kuwentuhan ko yung mga technician sa Complink. Nagpaka-bibbo girl nanaman ako’t kung anu-anong tinatanong ko. Haha. May nakipagkilala pa tuloy sa aking technician, adek =p

    Pagkauwi namin sa bahay, nag-dinner lang ako sandali tapos todo busy na kong kakalikot ng cellphone ko. Hehe. Inaayos ko kasi yung phonebook. Afterwards, yung PC naman yung inasikaso ko. Sobrang okay na sana ang lahat kaso, naknang kuteng hindi pala na-install yung MS Frontpage! Yun pa naman ang pinakamahalagang software na bumubuhay sa akin! Harhar. Di ko alam kung ibabalik ko pa ulit yun o maghahanap na lang ako ng Ms Frontpage installer. Kainis. Minamano-mano ko tuloy ngayon ang HTML! Hehe.

There's a limit for every aspect of technology.

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April 14 2006 | Friday | 05:27pm

"CHURCH HOPPING"

    I found a reason to relieve my boredom today. Along with Ate Aileen and Silven, we went out for a "Visita Iglesia" or shall I say (in modern terms), "Church Hopping". Hehe. I really enjoyed it; for I didn't only satiate my Christian conscience but also, I had the chance to grip my travel conscience as I visited different places and churches. Coolness.

    Temperature was hot again. We failed to leave the house early in the morning but I still pushed through. Anyway I really have nothing to do at home and I thought of it as a real-time sacrifice. We left around 11am and the first church stop was in Lourdes Church (Quezon City). Pinadala sa akin ng mom ko yung booklet ng Stations of the Cross at doon ko sinimulang basahin yun. Tumigil ako hanggang sa ika-limang istasyon.

    Soon enough, we took the jeep towards the second church which was San Roque Parish (in Blumentritt). Doon ko tinuloy hanggang eighth station. Slowly, I was starting to get along with what I was doing. I mean, I never thought I would take such seriousness as I recited every line. While reading, my heart was also into it. Iba lang talaga sa pakiramdam, magaan sa kalooban. =)

    Moving on, we took a jeep again and went to Espiritu Santo Parish (in Tayuman). So yun, nagbasa ulit ako ng dalawa pang istasyon. Uminit pa lalo ang panahon, pero mas natuwa ako kasi feel na feel ko ang penitensya. Gustung-gusto kong nahihirapan minsan. In fact there was one moment when Ate Aileen asked me, "Kaya mong maglakad tulad nila (pointing at the Nazarene devotees)?" I simply replied, "Oo naman, wag lang nakatapak saka gusto ko may mga kasama." Emen! =p

    The fourth church hop was in Sta. Cruz Church. How I loved its structure, besides being huge and spacey. Again, I recited two stations there. Afterwards, we took a short rest from our church hopping. Nagutom na kasi si Silven, hindi nag-lunch. Tumigil kami sa Jolibee (in Carriedo). Nakihati na lang ako ng fries kay Ate Aileen at nag-tubig na lang ako. Part pa rin ng penitensya ko yun {nukx!).

    Nilakad na namin papuntang Quiapo Church. Sa daan, napatigil kami sandali kasi ang daming murang bilihin -- dvds, shades, sandals, EARRINGS! Haha, napabili tuloy ako ng dalawang hikaw =p So anyways, when we reached the church, numerous people were there! As expected, it is "Quiapo Church", ever famous for its miraculous Nazareno. Di na kami nakapasok sa loob dahil sa sobrang dami ng tao. May pila pa nga sa labas eh, nuknukan ng haba at para bang Easter Sunday na, nasa pila ka pa rin. Hehe.

    Dumaan kami sa underpass, marami din palang nagtitinda dun. At napabili na naman ako ng tsinelas! Haha adek. Plano ko pa nga sanang magpahula eh, kaso nahihiya naman akong mapahintay kina Ate Aileen. Hehe. =p So nag-jeep ulit kami at pumunta kami sa Bustillos (in Legarda). Dalawang magkatabing simbahan yun, St. Anthony's Parish and Out Lady of Loreto Church. Dun ko na tinapos dalawa pang natitirang istasyon ng krus ko.

    Sumasakit na ang mga paa namin. Nag-pedicab na kami papuntang UST Church, our last church stop. Medyo napamahal nga kami sa bayad eh, kasi akala namin 20php para sa tatlong pasahero pero yun pala, 20php per head. Di naman nagpaawat itong si Ate Aileen kaya 40php lang binayad niya. Hehe. So yun, nag-overpass kami at saka pumasok sa UST campus. Ang aliwalas sa ilalim ng mga puno, tahimik ang lugar at sa loob ng simbahan? Aba, naka-aircon! Haha. Since my Station of the Cross was over, I took time to watch the "Seven Last Words" instead. Nang matapos, parang ayaw pang umalis nina Ate Aileen eh. Ang lamig daw kasi hehe.

    Pupunta pa sana kaming St. Jude Church pero pagod na talaga kami. Di man kami nakaabot ng 14 churches, nakapagdasal naman nang maayos at nakapag-penitensiya. We visited eight churches, and I felt so blessed for I was able to stop with these churches. So we rode the jeep in Laon-Laan. We stopped by Seven Eleven in Blumentritt at nag-slurpee muna. Hehe. Sumaglit din kami sa palengke at bumili ng pang-rekado sa ginataan si Ate Aileen. Sa totoo lang, it was my first time to roam arpund Blumentritt wet market. Para akong batang tanong nang tanong sa mga tindero kung ano yung tinitinda o ginagawa nila. Haha! Naaliw ako dun sa mga gulaman, iba-iba kasing kulay =p Tapos yung sago, niluluto pala muna yun. Naisip ko tuloy, sa dami ng napuntahan at naranasan ko ngayon, ano pang mga bagay ang ikaka-inosente ko. I'm pretty sure there are millions more and I'm so willing to discover them all.

    Past 3:30pm na nang makauwi kami. Grabe, kakapagod pero nag-enjoy ako't nakaramdam ng kapanatagan [nukx how deep] sa kalooban. God bless this day.

Siya ang iyong kailangan, sandigan, kaibigan mo. Siya noon, bukas, ngayon. Siya ay Hesus, sa bawat panahon..

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April 13 2006 | Thursday | 09:18pm

"MAUNDY THURSDAY"

    My day has been lethargic and life gets boring as days go by.

    I wasn't able to do the usual "Visita Iglesia" on a Maundy Thursday. I woke up late this morning and so my mom had left me. Ayoko namang mag-isa't pumunta sa 14 simbahan. So as an alternative,  I just attended the 6pm Eucharist which was at the same time, commemoration of "Christ's Washing of the Feet".

    How I loved the priest's homily on humility of the heart. Simply, it gave a message that we must not only do something because it's required. Rather, it's important to put our hearts within its purpose. Whenever we do good things to others, it's not a deed for entering the Kingdom of God but more significantly, these are acts which must be considered in respect of God's Will. My 2-hour stay in the church felt solemn in my spirit. Somewhat I became closer to Him and realized that despite all the delusive circumstances, He's there to listen to all my petitions. AMEN. =)

    Naghahanap ako ng mga DVDs ngayon. Nagtawag-tawag ako sa mga kaibigan kong malalapit lang ang bahay sa akin para manghiram ng DVD. Hehe. Watching film is my last option since my PC isn't coping with me today. May virus pa din at nuknukan ng bagal. Ang sarap batuhin! Haha. Gusto ko sanang mag-video editing o gumawa man lang ng bagong layout pero di ko magawa! Kailangan ko ng magpa-reformat. Hay.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me. Body of Christ, save me water from the sign of Christ. Wash me, passion of Christ. Give me strength.

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April 12 2006 | Wednesday | 08:49pm

"MOMENTS OF SILENCE"

    Silence is the best way to be heard.

    I hardly noticed that it's Holy Week already. Perhaps I got used to spending my past Holy Weeks in Batangas, whereas I'm Manila right now. Usually, I would go for a Lenten Season which truly breaks away with modernization. As we all know, gadgets and other modern stuffs can be tempting. Get away with them when you're trying to be with God.

    My mom just arrived from Batangas. She was a bit busy in the morning, so I just had the time to chat with her in the afternoon. Medyo pagod siya, kaya inaliw-aliw ko muna. Ang totoo, may gusto talaga kong hingin hehe. Initially, we shared feedbacks from the recent outing. I showed to her our photos and she told her impressions on my friends. The conversation went pretty well so that gave me the hint to go on with the next topic . . .

    Later on, I decided to open up my plea for a new cellphone unit. I've been telling this to her months ago. So now I have a stronger reason to have one since I'm a Dean's Lister. Puhunan din minsan ang katalinuhan [haha!]. But as expected, I still had the hard time to convince her despite all my given reasons. Minsan talaga, kuripot ang nanay ko. Maski napagkasunduan nang ibibili ka, babaratin ka hanggang sa huli. Nakaka-badtrip tuloy. Lagi na lang ganun, yung iba kong kapatid nakukuha lahat tapos ako hindi. Ayokong makipag-debatihan sa nanay ko dahil nauubos ang pasensiya ko pero siguro nasa ugali kong di nagpapatalo.

    Ang tagal kong nagmakaawa. Naiyak na ko sa inis at napagod na kong kakatalak. Tumalikod ako sa kanya, nagpindot-pindot kuno ng keypad at himalang nanahimik. Hinayaan ko lang siyang magsalita, pero di ko inintindi. Kaya siguro nung mga panahong nagtatanong siya, walang narinig na sagot sa akin. I was hopeless. Moments later, I just got surprised of what she said which was actually the sole sentence I listened to -- "Matutuwa na yan, sige na nga ibibili na.." Napangisi na lang ako. Nagtatago pa ko sa ilalim ng unan, sabay ungot kunwari. Haha. Para akong bata. Minsan pala, kung di makuha sa maingay na usapan, idaan sa nakabibinging katahimikan. May kakaibang kapangyarihan ang katahimikan dahil napakikinggan ang mga bagay na mahirap pag-usapan. Sana Linggo na, gusto ko na ng new cellphone! Hehe.

    Speaking of cellphones, I'm trying to make a sacrifice today [until Easter Sunday] not to make use of my cellphone. Anyway each one has his or her abstinence. So this is my own way of doing it. Bukod sa pagtitipid ng load, eh parang gusto ko ding magpakalayu-layo muna sa mga kaibigan ko. Hindi ko yun paraan para umiwas sa kanila. Sa totoo lang, paraan ko yun para mapag-isa't pag-isipan ang mga bagay-bagay -- tungkol sa tunay na pagkakaibigan, sa mga totoong motibo, sa kabuuang rason. Simula nung mag-walkathon ako sa Batangas, marami ng gumulo sa isip ko. I want space to achieve silence; for in silence, I believe I will be able to seek the answers.

    Unti-unti na silang nakakapansin sa pananahimik ko pero sana maintindihan nila. Hindi ako nagbago, naghahanap lang siguro ako ng pagbabago. =)

Silence is not the absence of sound. It's the presence of what sound cannot express. I choose to be silent. For in silence, I can say 'I care' more than you could ever imagine.

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April 10 2006 | Monday | *1:31am

"SCHOOL BLUES"

    Clearance Day at UST today. Despite lack of sleep and body aches from the outing, I forcibly got up from sleep. Medyo late na nga ko bumangon eh, 8am na. Dali-dali akong nag-ayos para makaabot ng 9:30am sa school. Hehe.

    Luckily, I arrived in time naman. So yun, nasalubong ko sina Djhay sa AB lobby. Nakakuha na sila ng clearance form kaya iniwan ko muna sila't umakyat sa Room 205. Pagpasok ko, nandun yung iba pang 2jrn3. Ugh, how I missed them! I fell in line to get the requirements first and soon enough, I started to chit chat with them.  It felt glad too as they congratulated me for being a Dean's Lister. =) Ang taas nga daw ng average ko. Wah. >.<

    Bumaba kami sa AB Pav. Tumambay muna kami dun. Naki-epal din ako sa pinag-uusapang planong class outing naman. Wahaha, di ko alam kung makakasama pa ko kasi wala na kong pera. Overnight din, sa Laguna naman. So yun, bukod dun eh nakausap ko yung iba tungkol sa pagkuha ng summer jobs. At waah, marami na nga talagang nagta-trabaho ngayon sa amin. Parang gusto ko na din para may mapagka-abalahan ako.

    Soon, we left UST at sa España kami dumaan. Pumunta kaming SM Megamall. =) Nakakatawa dahil si Mau ang nagyaya sa planong yun pero wala siya! Adek. Wala kasing naiwang taong-bahay sa kanila kaya di siya nakaalis. Si Manang Arene naman ay wala din kasi magpapa-medical pa daw siya. Di namin siya masisi sa pagtanggi kasi hindi rin namin siya nasipot nung bday dinner niya kagabi! Haha. So I was with Dez, Madie, Djhay and his best friend, Lawrence.

    Sobrang bangag talaga ko. Natatawa na lang sa akin sina Madie. Kulang na lang, pati sa paglalakad eh nakapikit ako. =p We took an FX coming from Legarda. So yun, pagdating SM, nag-lunch muna kami. Sa KFC kami kumain. While eating, we were still talking about school stuffs. Somehow I missed those kind of topics actually. =) And man, I realized na third year na kami next school year! Waah. Ang bilis. Next summer, mag-OOJT na. Gusto namin sa ABS-CBN ni Djhay. Haha!

    Plano dapat naming mag-ice skating pero sabi ko, di ko talaga kaya kasi masakit katawan ko. Nag-ikot2 na lang kami. Mag-aarcades sana kaso walang kwenta yung mga machines. Hehe! Nanakit ang paa ko kakalakad. Nakita namin si Marjorie Barreto, Dennis Padilla and their kids. Yung basketball player na si Feihl [not sure of the spelling] nakita din namin. Cool. Dun ko na rin pina-develop yung pics nung outing kaya habang hinihintay, tumambay muna kami sa Starbucks.

    Ang sarap ng Caramel Frappe at oatmeal cookie. Medyo mahal pero sulit para sa akin. Nag-kuwentuhan at tawanan ulit -- school stuffs pa rin haha! Siguro masarap lang talagang mang-okray once in a while. =p Moments later, we decided to go and get the developed photos already. So yun, sa pag-aakalang mawawala na yung antok ko sa pag-inom ng kape, hindi pa rin. Sumasakit na yung ulo kaya nagyaya na kong umuwi. Hinanap namin yung sakayan ng FX. Kasabay kong umuwi sina Djhay ar Lawrence.

    Di pala dadaan ng Recto [Isetann] yung FX kaya dun na rin ako bumaba sa dorm ni Djhay. Nilakad ko na lang hanggang Isetann. Haha, ang layo pala! Pero okay lang din, naka-tour around Mendiola ako. =p Pagsakay ng jeep na Retiro, antok na antok talaga ko! Grabehan. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, direcho ako sa kwarto ng ate ko at natulog ng tatlong oras. What a heavy-eyed day. I must say. Haha.

"Sana maging cum laude tayo. Naks."

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April 08-09 2006 | Saturday, Sunday

"NARDA" (TropaPeepz Outing)

    Some events come unplanned and when are so, you'll never realize the relevance of every occurrence once it happened. I had two lengthy days of my life with my ka-tropas in volleyball as we went out of town for a summer outing. A mixture of happiness and longing, I believe these were memories that I would treasure so much. Somehow it was a one-shot event, for I realize that since it was an unbelievable thing that almost all were present, perhaps it would seldom happen again. Still, I was thankful. Here's my story.

DAY 1

ON OUR WAY TO BATANGAS

    I woke up around 6:30am and thank heavens I was able to sleep earlier the night beforehand. The rented Mercedes Benz van, which was provided by Ate Flo fetched me at 8:30am. So while waiting, Diah texted me about Kristine's "hahabol mode". Initially we thought that she won't be able to come since her mom didn't permit her. But that morning, we were just all surprised that she would attend already along with Glaiza [both coming from Bulacan]. I just told Diah that it would be okay for them to come as long as they would reach the meeting place in time. Later on, the van honked outside and carrying my luggage, I was welcomed by Ana and Ate Flo who were already there.

    The next stop was in España, where we fetched Carol. Afterwards, we went to the Letran dormitory to fetch the Arribas hehe! [Diah, Ate Tynez, Bang and April]. We also waited for Kristine and Glaiza there. While waiting, the others decided to eat breakfast first. I chose to stay in the van along with Ana and Franchell [hindi siya nakasama, sayang]. We really stayed there for a long time. Kristine drove our temper into nuts because she kept us waiting too long. Sayang kasi yung oras at nakakainip maghintay. So we just spent our time joking around, eating, fixing our stuffs and enjoying the presence of each other. They finally arrived past 10am na.

    The trip was so much fun. Kapag kasama mo si Ate Tynez, wala ka ng gagawin kundi tumawa dahil sagot niya ang ka-kwelahan. Hehe. We also had those picture-taking and video moments in the van. Cool. We stopped by Caltex in SLEX to fill in gasoline and some of us took the restroom. At dahil adik talaga ko sa kape, kasama ko si Ate Flo na bumili. =p So anyways, the trip went on. Dumaan din kaming Santa Rosa Laguna para sunduin si Aileen. Medyo traffic papasok at medyo malayo din pala yung call center na pinagta-trabahuhan niya. It took some time and we reached Lipa around 1pm na. Man I was hungry.

WELCOME TO MY REST HOUSE

    I caught my mom waiting for us at the door. So we greeted one another as I welcomed them in my house. My mom smiled when she saw Bang since she know her by face. As you can see, I'm not just the one who's watching v-league on TV, my mom too! =p

    Lunch was served. Ang sarap ng niluto -- inihaw na baboy, sinigang na isda, pritong saging. Na-solve talaga ang gutom namin. Pagka-kain, naupo muna ang lahat sa sala. I was in the backyard with my mom. I was helping her fixing the cellphone because my sister from Dubai was calling. Later on, Diah came out and joined us. So yun, parang nag-bonding silang dalawa hehe. Iniwan nga ako dun eh, kasi ipinasyal ng mom ko si Diah sa garden. I'm happy that Diah and my mom have been getting along. Marunong talagang makisama si Diah.

    [This was a funny incident!] Naisipan ko silang i-tour pa nang konti sa loob ng bahay at umakyat kami sa taas. Tumambay kami sa kwarto ko at  saka nag-picturan. Ni-ready ni Ate Tynez yung cellphone niya para naka-timer. So lahat naman kami naka-posisyon na sa kama at SAMPU kaming nandun. Nakakatawa, biglang may kumalabog at napasigaw ang lahat. GUMUHO YUNG KAMA! Wahaha!!! Si Ate Tynez tawa nang tawa. Adek. Tinignan namin kung anong nangyari, nayupi talaga yung gitnang bakal ng kama! Haha talaga. So inalis muna namin yung katawan ng kama tapos kutchon na lang ang naiwan. Tuloy ang picturan. Mainit, pawisan ang lahat, dahil sa kakatawa! =p

    Maya-maya, nagyaya na ng basketball sina Ate Flo. Habang hinihintay na maluto yung pancit, sumama yung iba sa harap ng bodega namin para maglaro. I joined them in playing "Bente Uno" and later on we played real-time basketball. Kampi kami ni Carol, kampi sina Ate Flo at Ana. Ang saya. Hehe. Kainitan ng araw eh nagpapaka-ulikba kami. =p

SA EL MADERO RESORT

    Malapit ng mag-4pm [log-in time sa resort] kaya pumunta na kami dun. Walo lang muna yung pinababa ko papuntang Information Area para maka-menos kami sa extrang bayad kapag lumagpas ng 5 tao. Di istrikto yung resort kaya nakalusot talaga. Hehe. So binigay na yung susi ng Yellow House. Bumalik kami sa van para kunin yung mga gamit at bumaba na ang lahat. Pagpasok, natuwa ang lahat sa bahay namin. =) In fact some were even joking that how they wished they could stay longer in that type of house. Hehe.

    Nag-ayos muna kami ng mga gamit at saka nagbihis. It was so cool to see that we were on our summer outfits. Feel na feel ang heat. Yeah. Yung iba, kumain muna ng pancit para sa merienda. Ang sarap nga eh, thanks to Ate Inday. Hehe. Maya-maya, naisipan na naming lumabas at mag-volleyball! Ang saya! Kakampi ko sina Diah, Bang at Kristine. Sa kabila naman sina Ana, Ate Tynez, Karol at April. Si Ate Flo ang nag-video sa amin. Cool. =) Ang tagal ko na kasing di nakapag-volleyball ulit kaya natuwa ako. After that, we all went to the pool and swam. Dun kami sa private pool, mas malalim at mas konting tao ang lumalangoy. Ang saya din, kasi kung anu-anong pauso ni Ate Tynez. Hehe!

    Nang mapagod, bumalik muna kami sa Yellow House. Picturan, sayawan, tawanan. Tinignan din namin kung kasya pa sa budget na mag-rent ng videoke. Pumunta kaming Information para itanong kung magkano. So P1,200 lang naman, kaya pa ng budget. Yun nga lang, hindi pwedeng sa loob ng bahay ng videoke. Nagtaray pa nga yung clerk eh, kasi nagrereklamo kami. So pumayag na lang kaming sa cottage ilagay yung videoke. Pagbalik namin, nagulat na lang kami nang mag-brownout! Adek.

    Naiyak tuloy sa takot si Bang. Naiwan sila ni April sa bahay. Buti na lang at may generator, unti-unting bumalik yung mga ilaw. Hehe. Bandang 8pm, nagtext na sa akin sina Jean at nasa Lipa na daw sila. Humabol kasi sila ni Kim, galing pa silang Manila. So sinundo namin sila sa Fernando Air Base. I was with Ate Flo, Diah and Aileen. Dumaan din pala kami sa rest house para i-pick up yung dinner. Ang sarap na naman. Sobrang thank you talaga sa nanay kong inasikaso lahat ng kakainin namin. =)

    We ate dinner together. Sa sahig kami kumain, ang saya. Nakakatuwang sabay-sabay kaming naghain, nagdasal, at kumain. Naka-kamay pa yung iba. Malinamnam na hapunan yun. Ang sarap ng adobo, pritong bangus at may crema de fruta pang dessert! =) After eating, inayos muna namin yung mga pinagkainan tapos inasikaso na nila yung sa videoke.

    Nag-volleyball kami sandali nina Kim at Jean. Medyo nag-aadjust pa sila sa grupo kasi kararating lang nila. Pagpunta namin sa cottage kung saan nag-vvideoke na sila, niyaya ako ni Jean na mag-swimming. So sinamahan ko muna sila ni Kim. Dun kami sa mushroom pool lumangoy, kasi nililinis na yung private pool. Ang lamig ng tubig! Haha. Later on, Carol, Ate Flo, Aileen and Ate Tynez joined us.

    Bumalik ako sa cottage para maki-join sa kantahan. Yung iba nasa Yellow House na, tinulugan ba naman kami! Hehe. Isang beses lang akong kumanta, yun pang Tell Me Where it Hurts ang napili ko. Naalala ko tuloy si Ate Rox, sa totoo lang. Dun na ko nagsimulang malungkot. Dapat kasi kasama siya sa outing na yun. Pero dahil sa sobrang busy siya't di na namin mahagilap, hindi na siya nakasama.

    Bumalik ako sa bahay para magbihis na't nilalamig na ako. Yung mga kasama ko sa bahay, tulog ng lahat at ako na lang ang gising. Naupo ako sa tabi ng bintana, nagmuni-muni. Naisip ko yung mga nangyayari so far sa outing na yun. Oo, masaya. Wala akong masabi sa ka-kwelahan ng lahat. Pero ewan ko, siguro mas naging masaya kung kasama din si Ate Rox. =( Hay. Have you ever felt such feeling that you have the greatest thing but still deemed for something greater than the greatest? It was so ironic, I had twelve companions but I felt a sheer of lonesome. I really missed Ate Rox at that time. I texted her that night, but she didn't reply. Ang tagal na niyang di nagpaparamdam talaga. Naisip ko tuloy baka galit siya or what. Gusto kong maiyak pero parang walang sa lugar. Ayokong magpahuling malungkot ako, kasi masaya ang lahat. Alam kong nakakabastos lumuha habang ang lahat ay puno ng halakhak sa isang outing na close-to-perfect para sa kanila.

    Pumasok sa bahay si Ate Flo. Pulang-pula na ang mata sa pagod hehe. Sina Carol, Kim at Glaiza na lang ang natira sa cottage. Sabi ko, bukas na lang ipagpatuloy ang kantahan at matulog na kaming lahat. Bumalik kami sa cottage para sunduin sila tapos kinausap namin yung guard na gagamitin pa namin yung videoke kinabukasan.

    Umayos na kami sa hihigaan. Medyo siksikan pero nagka-lugar naman ang lahat. Matutulog na sana kami kaso nagising si Ate Tynez, bumanat na naman ng katatawanan. Hehe. So yun, sa totoo lang di talaga ko nakatulog. Bukod sa masikip, eh naghihilik si Aileen na katabi ko. Hehe.

DAY 2

GOOD MORNING!

    Maaga akong bumangon, bandang 5:30am. Gising na din si Kristine at inabutan ko siyang nakaupo sa labas ng bahay. Naisipan kong mag-walkathon mag-isa, dahil obvious namang di ko kayang mag-jogging dahil puyat ako. So yun, naglibot ako sa malawak na resort. It was also the perfect time to think and reflect again on things. Basta ang dami ko talagang na-realize sa paglalakad kong yun. HAY. Isang oras na akong naglalakad, nadaanan ko na sina Ate Flo na nag-vovolleyball. I chose not to join and I preferred to be alone with nature. Ginusto ko talagang mapag-isa. Bumalik ako sa bahay para kunin yung videocam ko. Nag-photography ako. Kakatuwa.

    Inabutan na lang ako nina Diah, Ate Flo, Kristine at Kim na mag-isa't nag-pphotography. Nag-ikot ulit ako kasama sila. Nag-picture2, nag-kuwentuhan sa harap ng butterfly house. Kukuha na sana kami ng breakfast sa rest house kaso na-flat pala yung gulong ng van. Nag-videoke na lang muna kami tapos nag-swimming sa private pool. Ang sarap magpa-init. =) Masaya na sana kaso pinagsabihan ba naman kami ng may-ari na huwag maingay sa pool! Nakakatawang nakakainis. Adek. Ano pang silbi ng recreation area nila kung bawal nag-enjoy di ba. Binayaran namin ang pag-swimming at yung bahay. It was a bit disappointing actually. So we decided to transfer to another pool. Dun na lang kami sa mushroom pools ulit.

    Pinalipat namin yung videoke malapit sa Yellow House. Nag-swimming pa yung iba kasi kagigising lang nila. Nagbihis na ko para mauna. Soon enough, we started to pack our things and luckily, the van got fixed too. Sa halip na umagahan, eh tanghalian na ang kinain namin sa rest house. At around 12pm, we finally left. We bid goodbye to my mom and in deed, we were thankful for the accommodation.

ROAD TRIP TO TAGAYTAY

    Dumaan muna kami sa simbahan ng Air Base dahil Palm Sunday. After nun, dumiresto na kami sa Tagaytay. So while in the van, some were still a bit sleepy which included me. Nag-ipon muna ko ng energy at umidlip. Pagdating sa Tagaytay, bumaba yung iba para mag-picturan sa overlooking ng Taal Lake. Masakit sa balat yung araw kaya sumunod na kami sa Ukay-ukay kung nasaan yung iba. Sa tapat nun, may tindahan ng halo-halo at kumain kami. Cool. Dun din pala yung bahay ng tito ni Diah kaya dun kami nag-stay sandali. Ang aliwalas ng lugar, may maliit pang bahay-kubo kung saan kami tumambay nina Ate Flo.

ROAD TRIP TO INDANG, CAVITE

    Medyo malayo pa ulit yung binyahe namin pero sulit naman kasi first-time kong makarating sa bahay ni Diah. Their home is spacey and how I loved their wide rooftop where you can see a good view of Indang.

    As we went back to their living room, we ate mangoes and couched for a while watching TV. Nakausap din namin yung mommy ni Diah. So yun, di na kami nagtagal kasi humahapon na. Naiwan na dun si Diah at nagpaalam kami sa parents niyang accommodative din.

THE DISASTROUS WAY OF GOING HOME

    Malayo yung biyahe pauwi. I guess it took us 2 hours or more. Nadaanan pa nga namin yung Island Cove eh, naalala ko tuloy nung pumunta kami dun last summer. So anyways, natulog na lang ulit ako sa biyahe.

    Maya-maya, nakarinig na lang ako ng problemang galing kay Kristine. Hinahanap na siya ng nanay niya. Mali lang talagang sinabi niyang nasa Agunaldo Highway na, pero nasa Naic pa lang kami. Nagsimula na ring umiyak si Kristine, dahil galit daw sa kanya yung isang friend niyang related kina Ate Tynez. Basta magulo, medyo nababadtrip na tuloy ang lahat. Di na ko makasabat kasi may sarili din akong problema -- inuulcer na ko sa gutom! =/ Waah. Disastrous.

    Nag-stop over kami sa gasolinahan. Hinatid na rin namin sa SM Bacoor sina Ate Tynez at Aileen. Tuloy ang pag-problema kay Kristine. Gumagabi na kasi, kaya hindi nila alam ni Glaiza kung kaya pa nilang makauwi ng Bulacan. Bukod pa diyan, eh naghihimutok na ang nanay niya. Palibhasa mga bata pa, kaya takot umuwi ng late. Na-suggest na mag-sleepover na lang sila kina Ana para kinaumagahan na lang sila umuwi. Tumawag si Ana sa nanay ni Kristine para ipagpaalam pero hindi pumayag. Pinilit na lang namin silang umuwi dahil wala ng ibang choice. Bumaba sila sa Gil Puyat. 6pm na ng gabi.

    Akala namin solved na ang lahat, nagtext si Kristine at di daw talaga nila kaya. Hay ewan. Di mo alam kung maiinis ka o maaawa ka sa batang yun. Tumigil kami sa Jolibee, nagkusa na sina Ana at Ate Flo na samahan sina Kristine sa Bulacan. Naiwan sa akin yung kuting na napulot ni Ana sa El Madero at si Kuya Edwin [yung driver] na lang ang nag-uwi ng van. Kawawa talaga sila. Gusto ko man sumama pero may pupuntahan kasi ako kinabukasan.

    Bumaba sina Jean, Kim at Bang sa UN Avenue. Sina Carol at April naman sa España. I was the last person to get out of the van. I felt so sorry for Kuya Edwin, alam kong nakakapagod kaming kasama kasi nakailang stopovers kami. Hehe. With that twisting event about Kristine, somehow the happy outing had a bad and tiresome ending. Lessons were learned, realizations were gained from the unexpected occurrence. Gusto man naming kasama palagi si Kristine pero siguro nga, masyado pa siyang bata para makasama. In fact I was telling to Carol and April, "nagmamadali kasing tumanda si Kristine, eh hindi pa naman niya kaya." Pagod na pagod akong dumating sa bahay. Sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko, akala ko magpapa-ospital na ko. Hindi pa agad dumating si Silven kaya ang tagal ko pa bago nakakain.

FINALE

    Sa kabila ng lahat, salamat pa din sa kakaibang summer outing na yun. Kung saan-saan ako narating at marami akong bagong naranasan. Marami akong natutunan. Marami akong nalaman. Mas nakilala ko pa yung mga ka-tropa ko. Mas naging close kami sa isa't isa. Di ko malilimutan yung sabay-sabay na pagto-toothbrush, nine shots sa Vodaphone ni Ate Tynez, at siyempre, ang PAGKANTA NG NARDA. =)

Mapapansin mo ba, sa dami ng iyong ginagawa. Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat, may pag-asa bang makilala ka? Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan, pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idadaan. Nag-aabang sa langit,  sa mga ulap sumisilip. Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang Darna.

[from the song, "Narda"]

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April 07 2006 | Friday | 12:48pm

"AKALAIN MO"

    Akalain mong kung saan-saan na naman ako napadpad kahapon. Bukod pa diyan, eh akalain mong magsasama-sama na nga kami ng TropaPeepz bukas, naisipan pa ulit naming magkita-kita kahapon! Adek. Pupunta lang dapat kami kina Bang pero kung anu-ano ng nangyari sa lakad namin. Haha.

    Napag-usapang magkikita sa SM Manila kaya umalis ako sa bahay ng 1pm. Mainit, kaya nag-LRT na lang ako. While waiting for them, I went to the internet cafe [sa Excel] first. I thought the grades were already out and I tried to check but it wasn't released yet. Minutes later, Carol arrived. Pagka-logout ko sa Excel, tumambay muna kami sa arcades. Nag-basketball kami hehe. After 3 rounds, we decided to get out of the arcades already since we don't want to be tempted to play again. Haha. Umupo muna kami't nag-kuwentuhan.

    Past 2pm na nang dumating sina Ate Flo at Aileen. I even hardly recognized Ate Flo, kasi naka-ponytail at puro bangs lang ang napansin ko! =p Haha. Nag-bump car kami. So yun, na-enjoy ko talaga. Kung ganun lang kadaling mag-drive, ang sarap mag-road trip araw-araw. Soon enough, we went to KFC to have some merienda and waited for Diah.

    Taghirap ang buhay, Chiken Fillet lang inorder ko at tubig na lang ang inumin. =p Pagdating ni Diah, nag-kuwentuhan muna kami sandali bago umalis. Napag-usapan yung sa outing [as I expected hehe]. Bandang 4:30pm, pumunta na kami sa house nina Bang para ipagpaalam siya sa outing.

    The road trip was such a thrill. Haggard to the Nth level dahil sumakay kami sa bus na biyaheng Pandacan at dahil super puno, nakatayo kaming lahat! Maski magpaypay, mainit pa rin ang hangin. Hindi air-conditioned, amoy putok yung paligid. Lalo akong pinatangkad ng bus na yun dahil ang tagal kong nakatayo. Haha! Dinaan na lang namin sa tawanan at kuwentuhang pagka-lakas2. Kami lang ang maingay sa bus. Hehe. Pagbaba, nag-jeep pa ulit kami. It really felt good when we were able to sit on the spacey jeep seats. Sa West Zamora kami bumaba.

    So it was my 2nd time to reach Bang's place. The last time was when she celebrated her birthday and we got trapped in a flood. As we entered their home, Bang's mom welcomed us. She's a cool mom, as I can see. I was even joking her that she has resemblance with Ate Cherry hehe. Hawig sila sa mata. So anyways, Diah carried the whole conversation. Paunti-unti ang pagbubukas ng topic tungkol sa outing kay Tita Belen. Kakatawa, nagka-pasahan pa ng tingin pero sa huli, siya rin ang nagsabi nang lahat. Haha. So we hope Bang's mom will allow her to come.

    Matagal-tagal din kami dun, kasi hinihintay pa namin si Bang. Past 7pm na nang umalis kami sa bahay nila tapos mi-neet na lang namin siya sa Robinson's Ermita. Nag-ikot-ikot kami sandali pero nakaramdam na ko ng gutom kaya gusto ko ng umuwi. Wala na kong pera para dun pa kumain. Hehe. Aba't napag-planuhang mag-overnight ulit sa bahay. Okay lang naman sa akin. So yun, sasama din sana si Diah sa amin kaso may road run pa sila kinabukasan nina Bang. I was with Carol, Aileen and Ate Flo. We decided to take a taxi na lang para madali. Maraming namimiling taxi drivers kaya ilang minuto din kaming nag-abang.

    Simpleng ulam, masarap na kuwentuhan. Busog ang tiyan pati ang mga kaibigan. Kahit corned beef lang, solved na. Maya-maya umuwi na rin si Carol at hinatid namin sa sakayan. Naglakad kami hanggang Laloma Arch. Malayo man tignan, parang ang bilis lang marating kasi di na naming namalayan dahil sa pagku-kuwentuhan. Pagsakay ni Carol ng España, dumiretso kaming Seven Eleven. Nagkape ako haha. Pagbalik sa bahay, diretso kami sa kuwarto.

    Nanood ng TV, nagtingin ng photo albums, nag-picturan. Getting-to-know-you-more session din kami ni Aileen. Cool. After ng Princess Lulu [na ayaw palampasin ni Ate Flo na di panoorin], nanood na kami ng DVDs. We watched Chicken Little and Mr & Mrs. Smith. Parehong maganda. =) Bandang 3am, sumasakit na ulo namin sa puyat. Humiga na kami para umidlip.

    Di ako nakatulog sa init, bumangon na ako ng 5am. Nag-computer na lang ako sa baba. Masakit sa ulo, nakakagutom. Pero ewan ko, di naman kasi ako makatulog! Hehe. Maya-maya nagising na rin sina Aileen. Umalis sila sa bahay ng 6:30am. Pagbalik ko sa room, dun pala ko dadapuan ng antok -- nung mag-isa na lang ako sa kwarto. Siguro di lang sanay ang katawan kong may kasama kapag natutulog.

***

    Sino ding mag-aakalang magiging Dean's Lister ako ulit! Isang napakasayang balitang tila ba gusto kong isigaw nang malakas! I still can't believe it. Perhaps it's a shot of fate which I can't hardly swallow at the moment because I'm really amazed. Hindi ganung katibay ang tiwala ko sa sariling kaya ko, tapos yun pala eh kaya ko naman pala. Kakaloka.

    I was supposed to pass by USTe to get grades in Main Bldg. Thanks to Madie's text message, I found out that online grades are available already. So right away, I checked it out. Honestly, I didn't expect for anything. I was admitted of the fact that sometimes, I was too lazy to be a student. I thought I wasn't good enough. So my pessimism had occurred again. Hehe.

    Upon seeing my grades, gosh I was so surprised. I didn't know what to do, whether to call my mom or to keep it as a surprise for tomorrow [since we'll go to Batangas nga]. Pero dahil atat akong bata, tumawag na ko sa kanya. Hehe. She was the one who answered the phone and right away I told her, "Mommy nakuha ko na grades ko.. Dean's Lister pa rin ako!" Ughh, I was on a shiver and I didn't know why. Perhaps I was just happy and thrilled. At kahit boses lang ang naririnig ko, I felt how my mom was so proud of me. Kakaiyak! >.< Siguro kahit hindi ako perpektong anak, napakita kong nagsusumikap akong "maging". Napatunayan kong di ako magiging pabigat dahil lahat ng gastos at hirap niya para mapaaral lang ako, may pinatutunguhan. Hindi sayang, may silbi pala ko. Hehe. Hay, ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Lalo pa ngayon, 1.53 ang average ko! Mas mataas kesa last semester. Pinaka-natutuwa ako sa gintong 1.0 bigay ni Sir Baccay. Gosh, sinong mag-aakalang ma-kukursunadahan ko ang Philosophy. Hehe.

Life is full of contradictions. You need to be crazy, to be sane. You need to fall to fly. People suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson. You have to give up because you are strong. You have to be wrong to make things right again. Nonetheless, life's complexities are also life's source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again and fall apart to be whole again.

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April 04 2006 | Tuesday | 08:09pm

"BALL GAME"

    I had an adventurous time watching PBL [basketball league] today. Perfect time too to bond with Imee who's one of my sporty mates when it comes to basketball. =) It wasn't any typical day, I assured. Here's my story.

    I met with Imee at BK Dapitan around 12:30pm. So we ate lunch and afterwards we took the Mabini Harrison jeep to reach Letran Gym. Dun daw yung PBL game dahil nakalagay sa website. Supposedly, I was to meet with Diah and Ate Tynez as well to borrow DVDs since they were also training in Letran. They knew I was coming.

   At dahil pareho kaming di gaanong familiar sa Intramuros, hinanap namin yung daan papuntang gym. Nagtanung-tanong kami. Naglakad. Nagpaka-ulikba sa araw. Adventurous ang paghahanap. It seemed that we never knew what would happen next. And yeah, when we got into the gym, we were surprised as the guard told us that the venue was changed! Sa FEU Gym na daw, waah. Pagod na nga kami, hindi pa pala dun yung laro! Grabe. Hindi ko na rin tuloy nakuha kina Diah yung DVDs kasi past 2pm na nun, at gusto naming abutan yung 1st game. Sumaglit lang kami ni Imee sa training nina Diah tapos umalis na kami ulit. Tinuloy namin ang adventure haha. (note: di namin alam ang sakayan papuntang FEU Gym =p)

    Naglakad-lakad kami ulit, dumaan sa underpass, nagtanong ng ruta. Naisip sana naming mag-taxi, kaso sinabi nung isang mama na pwedeng sumakay sa biyaheng Blumentritt Avenida. Luckily, we reached Recto naman. We stopped by Isetann to eat waffles and drink iced tea. Man, it was a bit tiring. Haggard kung haggard.

    Off we went again to search for FEU gym. Medyo nalimutan na rin kasi ni Imee kung saan. So we walked along Morayta and asked some people where the gym is. Nahanap naman namin.

    May entrance fee na php20, sa pag-aakalang libre ang PBL. Hehe. On our way to the seats, we met Jojo (Duncil from Teletech). Pinakilala ako ulit ni Imee haha! Second time around. =p Since then, Jojo has been a nice person and I've been telling that to Imee. So that becomes a running joke by Imee to me. Well, I like him because he's an improving player. It doesn't necessarily mean that when you admire a person, you have crush on him. Di ba! Haha. Defensive. Ito lang masasabi ko kay Imee: DUHncil. HAHA.

    Medyo mainit sa gym. Naisip ko tuloy kung anong silbi nung php20 na entrance. Tsk. Second half na ang inabutan namin (Montaña vs Rain or Shine). I didn't watch much of the 1st game, since we were not able to start it. Mas pinanood namin yung Game 2 (Teletech vs. Toyota) dahil si Jojo naman talaga suportado namin. Hehe. Teletech's first half was a bit dull because they were down by as much as 10 points. Soon enough, they became consistently good in offense and surprisingly, they led huge points. Umabot pa nga sa Overtime eh. Close fight talaga. Sayang lang at nagka-errors sila -- natalo tuloy. =( By the way, Francis Mercado (jersey 15 of Teletech) has resemblance with Ching. Chinito kasi. I didn't expect that even in a ball game, the past would still haunt me. Grabe.

    After the upsetting game, we waited for Jojo to have a short chit chat. While we were at the car park, those noisy and almost-all gay supporters of Toyota were there too. Sa totoo lang, naalala ko yung V-league days. Parang ganun din -- may mga naghihintay na die-hard fans sa mga players. Parang gusto ko na tuloy mag-Vleague ulit, kahit wala na si Ate Rox, kahit wala ng UST. Soon enough, Jojo passed by us and Imee called him. Sandali lang kami't umuwi na rin. Sa bahay na nagpasundo si Imee at salamat sa kanya kasi nag-enjoy ako ngayon. =)

    In life, sometimes  it's much better to come in with anonymous events. You least expect, you deserve surprises. No matter how my day have become so tiring today, who cares?! I'm in deed happy, for I dealt with events which were simply unpredicted. =)

x`cez:     * I woke up late this morning. Much that I wanted to jog in the morning, but I wasn't able to sleep early last night. I was thinking twice if I'll take a summer job too or not. 2am na ko nakatulog kasi naghanap ako sa classified ads at nakipag-chat pa ko kay Dez tungkol sa ICT [call center company]. Muntik na tuloy akong mag-walk in applicant sa ICT kanina, pero naisip kong huwag padalos-dalos at baka pagsisihan ko lang.

Get that ball. Defense. Penalty. Time out.

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April 02 2006 | Sunday | 08:35pm

"MARATHON"

    It was an effect of my vacation in Batangas that I started to think about things going on within me. After days of confinement, I guess I realized that I want do something, for a change most probably. It's not that I'm oh-so bored today since summer is a much-awaited season for me and I'm gratefully experiencing it, but perhaps I'm in search to achieve more. What's solely clear is that I want to be away from I used to do nowadays. And yeah, not until last night that I had finally answered my uncertain desire... I started to have an endurance run again.

    The clock ticked 4:45am this morning. My mind has been set since last night that I would jog no matter what. Though eyes were quite sore, my mom can't even believe that I was able to get up right away. So I fixed myself, wore my jogging pants, sweat shirt, rubber shoes and tied my hair. I left the house, 5:15am. It was still dark on streets but along with my trustee bottled water, I made my way to athleticism. Adventurous.

    Ang tagal-tagal ko ng hindi nakakapag-jogging talaga. Nakakainis nga eh, para bang pinagsisisihan kong ngayon ko lang naisipan tumakbo ulit. So anyways, I started to walk first so that my muscles would be warmed up. I did stretching as well, ughh how I loved it. As I reached Kanlaon St., that was where I started to run until Welcome Rotonda.

    On the way, I came across other runners too. Mostly were men, as I noticed. In fact there were three men who talked with me while running. It was such a courteous greeting from them that I agreed to come by and since I was alone. Right away they knew I was a new one. They told me that they've been running Apo St. for so long. They know every person who runs each morning. So they asked me if I'm a newbie in running and somehow I was saddened with the reply, "Ang tagal ko na kasing di tumakbo. Tumigil ako." The man farthest to me replied, "Dapat maglakad ka muna, mabibigla yan."  I knew that, but I wrestled the notion that I would get muscle aches afterwards. Mas gusto ko kasi yun -- gusto kong napapagod nang husto, pinagpapawisan nang todo at nananakit ang katawan. Masochist in a way but that's how I get my grooves. Later on, I realized that the three men were running faster than me. Alam kong mas mabagal ako sa kanila kaya hindi na ko nakipag-karerahan pa't naglakad muna ko. I was really catching my breath. Ewan ko ba, may panahong nainis ako kasi ang dali kong napagod. I also felt such dizziness for I slept at 12am last night! Haha. Siguro yun lang ang mali ko, dahil di ako natulog nang maaga. =p Pero sa mga naramdaman kong yun, mas na-challenge ako. I wish someday I can get a good run. After petty walks, I started to jog again. I promised myself to do better for the next days to come.

    After an hour, I decided to go back. I passed by the church but I didn't take long since my sweat was continuously dripping. Baka pulmonyahin pa ko't ang lakas ng bentilador. Hehe. Habang naglalakad pauwi, nakasabay ko ang isang matandang lalaking nakuba na sa pagkatanda. It was a perfect sign for me I guess, Naisip kong ayoko pang umabot sa ganun. I have the leisure to get a vigorous body but I refuse to do so. Out of laziness perhaps and out of denial that I need it. So now I'm more determined to get myself into what I've initially engaged in. At ito na nga siguro ang "kakaibang" gawaing iniisip ko noon pa. Hehe.

    Speaking of marathons, I took a movie marathon and spent my day watching three films. I first watched "13 Going on 30" and how I loved the message brought by the film. Somehow it says that "we should learn to go back in our past so that we can know what we have missed and find happiness in it" and "never regret on your mistakes because these things make you do what is right". Ugh, swak lang talaga sa akin yung pelikula. =) After nun, nagpaka-horror naman ako. I watched "The Eye". At naku, naaalala ko pa rin yung eksena nung bida at ng matandang lalaking nasa elevator [WAAH!]. Kinagabihan, pinanood ko naman yung "Just Like Heaven". I was reminded right away of Vet and Cyrian [my classmates] who used that film for their Speech dialogue. Hehe! Okay din yung pelikula, pa-mushy.

    Medyo masakit ang ulo ko ngayon. Mag-movie marathon ba naman eh. Hehe. At ang inasahan kong sakit ng katawan, dumating din. But at least, na-enjoy ko talagang mag-jogging. Bukas ulit! Oh yeah. =p

Sa marathon ng life, kailangan mong iwan ang kalaban para manalo at makuha ang premyo. Pero kung ikaw ang kalaban ko, puwede bang maglakad na lang tayo? Kasama ko naman yung premyo eh, bakit pa ako tatakbo?

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April 01 2006 | Saturday | **

"AWAY FROM THE CITY"

    To get away from Manila's heat, I took a short vacation in Batangas. Then again it was a perfect getaway, for I didn't only get such body refreshment but also, I seemed to acquire mental strength. It was I've been wishing to experience and finally, I obtained it.

Tuesday

    We arrived in Batangas Tuesday afternoon and though temperature was quite high, the heat seemed manageable since there were trees for shade. I was welcomed by my goddaughter, Kaykay who just got up from a nap. Nakipag-kuwentuhan muna ko sandali kay Ate Inday habang inaalagaan si Kaykay.

    A little later, I went upstairs, to my room and unpacked my things. I cleaned up a bit, a pleasant doing from me I guess. Haha. I seldom do chores actually. I swept the floor, wiped the drawers and changed bed sheets. =) After my goodly deed, I decided to go out of the house and sniff on fresh air. Naisipan ko ding mag-drive, kaya niyaya ko si Ate Inday at Aps para mag-stroll.

    Dumaan kaming El Madero Resort, total rin lang eh kailangan kong magpa-book ng bahay. When we got there, ughh the place had gone any better! There were added pools and the area was utterly revamped. I checked on every available house and selected one which can best fit for the Tropapeepz outing on April 8. I was able to reserve the Yellow House which cost P4,500 one night. It's huge, it's nearby the private pool and I bet we'll love our stay. Natuwa pa ko lalo, kasi may tinayong volleyball net malapit sa bahay. Mga hayok pa naman sa balibol yung mga kasama ko. Hehe. =p

    Medyo madilim na nang makauwi kami ng bahay. Ang sakit ng paa ko, nanibago siguro ako, kasi nun lang ulit ako nakapag-drive. That night, I just spent my time watching TV and playing with Kaykay.

Wednesday

    I was really planning to jog in the morning but I went to bed so late and I failed to wake up early! Harhar. Bandang 10:30am na ko nagising, nanood na lang ako ng HomeBoy at guest dun si Gege. =)

    As I went down, I took my brunch. Soon enough, I took hold of my video cam for some artistic photography with nature again. It's my hobby when I'm away from the city. And how I loved taking photos of my mom's newly-bloomed flowers. Nakakatuwa din kasi eto yung panahong nakakapasyal ako sa likod-bahay namin nang mag-isa. Nakakapag-isip ako tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay na madalas kong talikuran kapag nasa siyudad ako. Nawawala ang mga problema ko, sa pamamagitan ng pagtingin sa mga magagandang bagay na tulad ng mga bulaklak. Totoo ngang simple lang ang buhay sa probinsya.

    Natulog ako ng tanghali at ang sarap matulog kasi maaliwalas. 5pm na ko nagising haha. Wala na kong ibang ginawa kundi kumain! Harhar. That night, I decided to update my journal notebook. Ughh, it's been a quite while, I must say. Somehow I felt sorry that I wasn't able to write regularly since I have an online blog already. I mean, even though I express personal stuffs in a blog, still there are those statements which can only be uttered in a more private medium. I took hours writing and updating my journal. It also served as a way of rekindling in the past again. How I loved it. =)

Thursday

    Maulan. Malamig ang panahon. Pero wala daw bagyo. Balak ko sanang mag-badminton man lang, kaso ayaw makisama ng mga ulap. Nag-drive ako nung tanghali pero kinasawaan ko rin. Medyo boring ang araw na ito, kasi natulog lang ako magdamag. Late na nga akong nagising nung umaga, natulog pa ulit ako ng tanghali. Haha.

    Namasyal ako sandali sa Lipa. Nag-rent ako sa computer cafe dahil na-fefeel kong napag-iiwanan na ko sa kabihasnan.  After an hour, I went to Robinson's and bought Greenwich's Pearl Cooler. Yummy and cold. =)

    In the afternoon, I can say that it was a bonding moment with Ate Inday. Hehe. May bagong-gawang duyan kasi si Joel, dun sa ilalim ng punong mangga kaya malimit, dun ako tumatambay. Nag-ihaw si Ate Inday ng baboy para sa hapunan, kaya habang nagluluto siya eh nasa duyan ako't nakikipag-chikahan. I told her stories related to Manila since she seldom go there already. She felt good with my stories, and as a turn back she told about what's happening around in Batangas. Actually it's our hobby -- gossiping. Haha!

    Nung gabi, tuloy ang kuwentuhan kasi nagpa-pedicure ako sa kanya. Di ko na siya binayaran, sagot ko na naman ang kuwento eh. Haha! We both watched PBB Debate and I found out that she also hates Bianca Gonzales as a PBB housemate [mabuhay!]. Muwahaha. Before, I look up at Bianca since she's an Atenean and yeah she's pretty. But when she started to get real as she flirts Zanjoe and somehow betrayed her boyfriend, ughh she's a triple EWWW for me already! Sorry to say but Ate Inday and I both believed that Bianca seems misplace in the PBB house. I guess she has been surviving only from text votes by the people who are witlessly lovesick to a Bianca-Zanjoe wannabe-relationship. YUCKKK! Just hearing Bianca's name makes me queasy =p

Friday

    Nagpunta kami sa bayan para mamili ni Ate Inday. Humingi ako ng Php 100 sa nanay ko. Nakakagulat, dahil isang iglap lang ang perang yun. I only bought a lotion, napkin, and two 5-peso crackers. Mas lalo kay Ate Inday, Php 1000 ang pera niya at naubos lang sa mga basic needs ng dalawang anak niya -- diapers, milk, medicine, food. "Mahirap na nga talaga ang buhay ngayon, kailangan doble kayod. "

    Waah nakonsensya naman ako. Puro gastos ako pero di naman ako kumikita ng pera. I've been hearing my friends getting a summer job right now. Much that I wanted too, but I can't sacrifice my summer jaunts! I thought that this summer break is my least opportunity to fully unwind then I'll spend it being a slave for money?! Sumweldo man ako nang malaki, pero di naman ako makapasyal kasi nakapako ako sa trabaho, paano kaya yun di ba? I'm thinking twice about it. Anyway my mom continues to give me allowance [mas konti nga lang] naman eh and in a way she still doesn't require me to get a job. May inipong pera pa din ako, bakit pa ko maghuhukay ng pera kung ang kapalit rin lang eh yung saya ng summer? I don't want to spoil my summer really. I believe it's not a proper time because my mindset is on beaches and escapades. I have many trips which I don't want to break since these were plans I've been thinking about since school days. Haha.

TODAY

    We went back to Manila. Man, it's hot again! On our way, I took breakfast courtesy of McDonald's and our car just drove thru. Naisipan ko lang mag-order ng MEGAMEAL. Haha. Pangalan pa lang, naisip kong baka mabusog ako. Natawa lang ako, 'megameal' nga pero megaliit yung pancake, sausage, at iba pang kasama sa meal. Ang laki ng lalagyan pero konti ang laman. Parang pagkain ng unano, pramis! =p [hahaha] Humati pa sa akin yung mom ko at sa totoo lang, hindi ako nabusog sa kinain ko. Nyak.

    I hung out with Kc in the afternoon. We watched Nanny McPhee at SM San Lazaro. We were not able to start the film [1:15pm] since I was quite late haha. Pero pumasok na rin kami sa sinehan. Inulit na lang namin. So anyways, the film was okay. I was laughing upon seeing Evangeline [Kelly McDonald] who had resemblance with Ate Tynez! Ate Flo had been telling me that and I agreed that Ate Tynez looks like Kelly. Hehe. When the film ended, we waited again for the next show so that we can see the parts which we missed. Nagkuwentuhan muna kami ni Kc. How I missed her company, really. She's one of my closest buddies since we were freshies in STC. Sa kanya ako umiiyak, humahalakhak, at nagsasabi ng halos lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko. Noon yun -- nung lagi pa kaming magkasama. Ngayon, minsan na lang. Suntok sa buwan nga eh, kasi di magtugma ang scheds at saka, paunti-unting nagkakaiba na ang mga interes namin. Somehow I felt like there were walls between us. Yes I was talking, she was talking but there was uneasiness whether she could relate with my stories or I can pick up her words. Our friendship is not the same as before. We seldom see each other already and this has become the walls.

    Kumain kami sa Jolibee. Tuloy ang kuwentuhan. Inungkat namin yung high school days. Nakakatuwang pag-usapan pero ewan ko ba, sa sobrang tagal na nung mga events, parang wala ng dating sa akin. In fact I'm starting to forget names and places related to HS life which we used to know. Nagtanong din ako ng mga bagong balita kay Kc pero wala na rin pala siyang gaanong updates. Later on, we left SM already and I just dropped by her house to borrow some DVD's. Umuwi na ko rin agad.

    As I reached home around 5pm, I assembled the DVD player to watch one of Kc's DVD's. Nanood ako ng Princess Diaries 2. Mas maganda pa rin pala yung Part 1. Hehe. After watching, tumawag sa akin si Ate Flo tapos 3-way namin si Carol. Kuwentuhan ulit. Nakakatawa yung usapan tungkol kay "Botbot", short term for "Kilabot". Kung sino man yun, haha siguro pag nakita ko ulit siya eh matatawa na lang ako. Adek.

    Siyempre naman, tumutok ang lahat sa "The Big Night". Ako din! =p Tinapos ko hanggang alas dose. At tama ang hula ko sa magiging ranggo ng Big 4. It was Zanjoe, Bianca, John and finally, Keanna as the Big winner. She deserves it anyway. When Gege left the PBB house, she became my bet. Siya ang pinaka-nangangailangan ng pera at bukod pa diyan, ang laki ng pinagbago niya mula nung mag-PBB siya. Tumaas ang tingin ko sa kanya. Di na lang siya Escort Girl. Nakita ng lahat kung paano siya naging totoo tao. =)

When you feel that a problem cannot be resolved, stay away from it and look farther so that you can see an alternative perspective.

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