April 29th 2005 | Friday | 09:36pm

"PLAYING IT THE HARDY-SOFTY WAY"

    Many things had happened all through out. It was a mixture of good and bad events that surely made my days a bit unusual.

    Well, I just came from Batangas. Para ngang nabitin ako sa bakasyon ko eh. Ewan ko ba't bigla na lang may umusbong na bagong adiksyon sa buhay ko [haha] at nanggaling yun sa Batangas. At ano kamo? Here I am again, jumping from one sport to another.. and how I loveee BADMINTON. Hahaha. I never knew that this sport would give you a hard-sweaty treatment! It feels good actually, kahit yun nga, nakakapagod. Bukod sa nakaka-bawas sebo sa katawan [haha], eh parang nakakahasa din ng utak because it also entails some smart strategy. Papalit-palit nanaman ang mga kalaro ko dun. Eh paano, nanawa na silang lahat kakalaro, lubog na araw at nasa taas na ang mga manok, adik pa rin ako sa paglalaro! Nakakatawa nga nung nakipaglaro ako dun sa supervisor ng kumpanya [DICAP Motors] namin. Ang daming manonood tapos gumawa pa kami ng *mega* improvised net! Mega kamo kasi ba naman, ang poste ay yung katawan ng manibela ng sasakyan [haha!], tapos yung pinaka-harang niya ay yung rubber part ng car door [haha ulet!]. Ah basta-basta, di ko alam ang tawag sa mga car parts na yun na itinitinda namin pero maliwanag sa aking haligi yun sa mala-tournament naming badminton game! Haha. Ang saya talaga.

    Halos ganyan ang mood ko sa Batangas sa loob ng 4 na araw, maliban na lang nung huling gabi ko dun. Harhar. Matapos ang masayang event, na-food poison ako. Hanggang ngayon nga masakit pa rin eh. Hinala kong salarin ay ang "KILLER" BOKAYO [coconut w/ sugar caramel] na kinain ko nung hapon. Naisip naming baka madumi yung ginamit na pangkayod ng niyog. Ako pa naman ang may pinaka-maraming kinain! Nagdamot pa ko sa tiyahin kong matakaw at itinago ko yung tira para kainin kinagabihan. Hayun, ang napala ko haha.

    Kanina naman, kahit masakit pa rin tiyan ko, sumama ako sa SM Edsa. Namili sila, at siyempre namili din ako. Hehe. Bumili ako ng mas matibay na badminton racket at bagong shuttlecock. Nanghihiram lang din kasi ako noon. I'm also drinking on a new water glass right now which I also bought a while ago. Cute kasi eh, may touch of orange. Haha. We ate at Max [again] as requested by my brother. I wasn't able to eat well kasi nga, masama pa rin panlasa ko. Pauwi na sana kami nang makakita ako ng cute earrings! Binili ko din. Hehe. As usual, kikay attack nanaman.

    On our way home, nakakita kami ng isang magandang garden place for debut. "Solea" was the name of that huge garden area. 500 people capacity and has a vast parking area. We inquired and damn it, how I loved the place. My debut is on November pa but right now we're starting to canvas on the stuffs needed for it. Para bang nung nandun ako, wahaha gusto ko ng mag-debut. Wala lang. Somehow it brought me into some excitement. Hay, bilis ng panahon at di ko namalayang magbubukas nanaman ang isang panibagong yugto sa buhay ko. [nukx lalim..] Mag-dedebut na pala talaga ko. Hehe. How sweet.

    Nung nasa bahay na ako, hindi pa ko nakapagpalit ng damit pang-alis, takbo na agad ako sa kalsada! Bininyagan ko yung bago kong badminton set. Good thing there's a Barangay Basketball League on our street so roads are closed and no vehicles passed by. Again, it was a tough game because even though it's nighttime already, we played for about an hour and a half. Whew. Actually my hands are still shaky right now and my back hurts but anyway, I enjoyed naman.

Sometimes life may be unpredictable, risky & rowdy. But always remember that a tough contender shall never attain triumph without going through the narrow paths.

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April 25th 2005 | Monday | 11:03pm

"THE POWER OF CONVERGENCE"

    So I'll be out again starting tomorrow. Ang init-init naman kasi dito sa Maynila, kaya pa-presko muna ako ulit sa probinsya. Hehe. Besides, I'm kinda bored with my daily routine at home and I wanna deal with something new.

    I finally loaded my cell phone with a hundred-peso credit. After a long time, I found some real purpose of reloading. Medyo nagtitipid kasi ako ngayong summer. I knew that I would surely miss the folks here in Manila. No chat & no internet out there. There's phone naman but you know, it's kinda flawed to use it for petty talks knowing that it's a long distance call. Hehe. So if you guys wanna keep in touch, text niyo na lang ako ha! =) Now I realized the real advantage of cellular phones - to converge people even there's a distance barrier. It's so great that I really have one. Tracing back in time, there were so many instances that I said to myself that "thankful I am that cell phone was invented!" Siyempre useful kapag may emergency. Besides bringing immediate communication, it's kinda affordable na rin. Biruin mo nga ngayon, p100 pwede mo ng makausap yung mga taong di mo nakakasama sa ngayon. Ilang crush ko na ba ang nakausap ko sa cel? Ilang pagkakaibigan na ba ang nabuhay dahil sa mga missed calls? At ilang mensahe na ba ang naiparating ko para masabi ko kung sino talaga ko? Ang galing di ba. Hehe.

The sweetest way to is to keep in touch..

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April 24th 2005 | Sunday | 06:01pm

"TAYO NA, SA ANTIPOLO.."

    An hour and a half away from Quezon City, you'll reach the city of Antipolo. We went there a while ago with my family. I woke up as early as 6:30am! I really had a hard time waking up but then, the trip was all worth it.

    Mataas na lugar ang Antipolo. Parang Tagaytay na nga kung tutuusin. Natuwa ako sa paglingon sa mga bangin [haha] at mula sa itaas, mamamasid mo ang mga dikit-dikit na bahay. Ang cute, hehe. Tapos, tanaw mo din [kahit malayo] yung mga matataas na gusali ng Ortigas at Makati. Bukod pa diyan, nadaanan namin ang Marikina. Well, I just admire the cleanliness of that city. I never saw a place as organized as that.

    So then, we reached our first stop - Antipolo Church. Sabi nila, talagang dinadayo ang simbahang yun dahil sa mga panata't milagro. It's a very busy area, so many people and gosh, too many vendors selling different yummy stuffs! As we enter the church, it was so hot! But my curiosity never stopped me from questioning. I observed a lot of things. Naisip ko, ang tindi pala talaga ng Kristiyanismo sa bansa. I mean, simply by witnessing how people sacrifice in intense heat just to hear mass, you'll prove yourself that Filipinos are strong believers. Medyo napatitig din ako sa mga Pinoy na pumupunas pa sa mga statwa ng simbahan. Di naman ako lubhang tutol sa ganun pero kasi turo noon sa skul, statues are mere representations. Sa sobrang paniniwala nila, kahit alikabok at duming nasa rebulto, tuloy pa rin ang punas nila. Di pa ba sapat ang magdasal ka ng taimtim at gumawa ng mabuti? Hmm.. Sometimes, I just can't understand some Filipino customs.. or maybe they don't know too the basis of their activities.

    After mass, we bought some food outside. Ang sarap ng adobong kasoy!!! I was so fascinated on how dried cashews are made. Later on, we set off and we dropped by Hinulugang Taktak! Wahaha, or should I say HINULUGANG BURAK? Ay naku. Di ba may kanta pang tungkol diyan? Akala ko pa naman napaka-tourist hotspot niyan. I was just so disappointed. Noon lang pala yun maganda. At dahil hindi na na-maintain, hayun.. umaagos na sabong panlabada at sangdamakmak na basura ang makikita mo!

    We ate lunch at Max Fried Chicken sa SM North Edsa. I also bought pink sandals. Nagulat nga kami eh, parang konti ng tao sa mall. Nasa beaches siguro. Sa bagay, masarap nga naman pumasyal-pasyal sa mga lugar na malayu-layo naman. Our trip to Antipolo was kinda tiring [kasi malayo] but at the end of the day, at least nasabi kong, "Nakapunta na ko sa Antipolo!"

"In the end we will conserve only what we love; we will love only what we understand; and we will understand only what we have been taught."

-- Baba Dioum

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April 23rd 2005 | Saturday | 08:30pm

"HOPELESS ROMANTIC"

    Internet all day as usual. I've done nothing except facing my black monitor, eyes sore and hands nailed on the keyboard. Well somehow I find pleasure dealing with the "cyber world". Bukod sa na-eenhance ko yung computer skills ko [through my web-designing hobby], at nakakakuha pa ng mga impormasyon, eh dumadami pa ang friends ko. It's so cool to see that as I sign in Yahoo Messenger, messages pop up the screen, saying words like.. "ATE Shelly! Musta po?". Naging tanungan na nga ko ng bayan eh, dakilang tagapag-kwento at taga-advice pa kamo. Hehe. It feels good though, knowing that through simple means, I touch other's lives. =)

    Anyways, besides using the computer, I decided to go to Dapitan a while ago. Nagpa-burn ako ng cd's sa Cafe Dapits. [nadaanan ko nga USTe eh, parang na-miss ko na tuloy. Hehe.] I'm so into acoustic OPM songs right now!  How I love it! Here's my top 10 favorites:

1. Tibok ng Puso - MYMP

2. Suntok Sa Buwan [acoustic] - Session Road

3. Biglaan [acoustic] - 6 Cycle Mind

4. Especially For You - MYMP

5. Crazy For You - Sponge Cola

6. Crazy For You - Michael Cruz

7. What Do I Do - Nyoy Volante

8. Rainbow - South Border

9. Love Moves in Mysterious Ways - Nina

10. Jeepney - Sponge Cola

    Last night, after my chat sessions, I felt kind of sad. I decided to write a poem. I just don't know why these stuffs squeezed into my mood. And even now, I've been thinking about myself as a BONA FIDE HOPELESS ROMANTIC! I see the indications! -- tagapayo ng lahat, mahilig mag-isa, adik sa acoustic love songs, at nagsusulat pa ng tula! Hay. I mean, I've been waiting for that "someone" for so long but it seems that person haven't tracked me yet. `Til when shall I wait? Naisip ko na lang, meron pa namang akong friends to keep and an aspiring career to look forward to.=)

*x`cez: Speaking of cool friends, nakakatawa kagabi si Ate Roxy sa chat. Kahit busy, she never ran out of jokes to poke on me.

[...]

shelly: may fansite na vleague.. if u hav tym, visit k nmn ate roxy.. dedicated din yan sa mga players na tulad mo, alay mula sa puso HAHA.. http://www.vleague.tk

shelly: mali pla.. http://www.geocities.com/vleague_fanatic/

ATE`ROXY: anu ba talaga? hehehe

shelly: same lng cla pro mai ibng animations na di ma-view kse..  hehe..

ATE`ROXY: oki..

shelly: kmusta na? tagal mong di nakachat ah.. hehe..

ATE`ROXY: mdyo busy eh

shelly: well i hope u accomplish all your stuffs..

ATE`ROXY: salamat!

shelly: ampanget ba ng site..

ATE`ROXY: kaw ba may gawa?

shelly: yeah.. *nahihiya*

ATE`ROXY: kaya pala di maganda hehehe

ATE`ROXY: joke lang oki na oki nga eh

ATE`ROXY: kaka aliw!

shelly: hmmf toh!  haha joke2..

shelly: paga na nga mata ko kaka-babad sa internet pra gumawa nian e.. hihi

ATE`ROXY: kaya pala naka shades ka na sa pic mo hehehe Corny ko!

shelly: nyahaha.. hinde, nka-shades ako dian kse nabugbog.

shelly: haha

ATE`ROXY: gnun?

shelly: palitan ko na nga. nilo2ko mo nko eh..kw tlga

ATE`ROXY: hehehe

Say goodbye, say hello to a lover or friend. Sometimes we never could understand why some things begin with just love. We never have it all..

["Rainbow" by South Border]

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April 21st 2005 | Thursday | 10:46pm

"FASTFOOD NA MABAGAL??"

    I have been quite busy updating the V-league website and that's the reason why there are only few entries here. It's a frozen blog again but hopefully, soon I could bring back the chirpiness of this website. Anyways, I really got hooked in making that fan site. Public demand says it all. It really flatters me - to know that people look forward on my works. Not to mention that the reaction of the v-league players as well when I messaged them became a persuasive factor on my part. Nakakatuwa nga eh, kasi na-realize kong ang friendly pala nila besides Ate Roxy who's my closest v-league player among all. It was so cool to chit chat with players like Desiree Hernandez of DLSU, Joyce Pano of UST and Beverly Boto of Lyceum. Hehe. Great deal isn't it?

    At dahil napaka-subsob ko sa computer ngayon, I got hungry a while ago. Magpapabili na lang sana ako ng pagkain kay Silven [our helper] but then, he wasn't around. So I decided na ako na lang ang bibili sa Jolibee. When I got there, naabutan ko ang isang matandang babaeng may himutok sa Supervisor ng Jolibee. She's staring roughly. Then I realized that she's complaining about Jolibee's poor service. At First, I just ignored the commotion kasi gutom na talaga ako at hinihintay ko yung turn ko na mag-order. Pero maya-maya parang nakikita ko na yung sinasabi ng babaeng "poor service". Isang tao lang ang nasa harap ko't nag-oorder pero parang ang tagal-tagal! I observed that it was only about 9pm but the big food tray near the counter is already empty and meaning, you'll really wait to get your order cooked. Soon, my turn came and I just ordered Burger Steak with fries. Gusto ko sana ng peach mango pie pero not available daw. [what the?! nakalagay sa menu tapos wala?! Haha.] Naghintay pa ko ng 7 minuto para sa kakarampot na fries ko. Nang mai-serve, wala pang catsup so I requested a crew to get two pieces. Anak ng bubuyog, gutom na gutom na nga ako, nakita ko pang babagal-bagal yung Jolibee crew! Siguro mabigat na para sa kanya yung 2 pirasong catsup.

     Hay naku. Lagi na lang ganun. Ang bagal ng serbisyo nila. Madalas akong managot ng mga crew dun kasi talaga namang nakaka-aburido. Buti sana kung manaka-naka lang. They already made it as a routine. Too bad. Nagtaka tuloy ako. It's a fast food restaurant which implies that you can get your food in an instant and yet a while ago, I have to wait for so long. What an irony. Or let's say, what a lumbering service there is. Jolibee has been awarded as one of the top companies in Asia but then, it seems that their reputation becomes too obnoxious. Paano mo masasabing Langhap Sarap Pinoy ang Jolibee kung nalanghap mo na lahat ng hangin, di ka pa rin makakain ng pagkain nila?

With great power comes great responsibility.

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April 17th 2005 | Sunday | 10:28pm

"REUNITING WITH THE ROOTS"

    Computer addiction is back again in business as I arrived a while ago from my refreshing "short" vacation. It's a hot Sunday. I missed my PC so much but darn it, ngayon pa nag-mamalfunction! Maybe it's for the reason that my brother used the computer for so long and much that I wanted to squeeze in, I must be fair enough because I guess he also longed for the internet. I'm a bit irritable today and maybe because of the intense heat that I'm experiencing. Buti pa sa probinsya, kahit umaga, malamig pa rin ang panahon. Hehe. I spent my 5 days away from the busy city. At anong nangyari sa 5 araw kong pakikisalamuha sa mga Batangueño? Ala eh, ire ang kwento ko..

    I have been staying in Mataas na Kahoy, Lipa Batangas since the rest house was built [1995] and our family goes back & forth to keep an eye on our Auto Supply Business. Care takers live there whenever we're not around. Masarap tumira dun actually. Kung pwede nga lang siguro ilipat ang  computer ko sa Batangas, aba eh hindi na ko mag-aalinlangan pang tumigil dun kapag bakasyon. Grabe, not to mention that you'll really gain weight there because the food is just so great! Ewan ko ba, masarap lang siguro kumain sa probinsya. Lagi pa kong nakakalabas ng bahay at di ka mawawalan ng gagawin. May bago nga kong adiksyon eh! Haha. I'm hooked into another ball game. BASKETBALL. Haha. Here I go again. Ang lawak kasi ng harapan ng bahay namin tapos nagtayo sila ng mini-basketball ring. May tatlong bola ng basketbol dun. Aba, eh ano pa nga bang gagawin ko kundi mag-dribble at mag-buslo tuwing hapon! Haha. Sa gabi naman, suki ako ng tindahan ni Ka Aning dahil kina-adikan ko ang spicy Oishi with matching sukang puti. Whew sarap! I tried to sleep early there but as usual, Insomia attack nanaman. Too bad I can't get up early to experience morning in Batangas. Haha. Yung mga tao dun, 3am pa lang gising na kasi magsasaka ang karamihan. Ako naman, 2am na, matutulog pa lang. This had been my routine for a couple of days. And before I forget, kapag tanghali pala na-aadik ako sa panonood ng Pilipinas Game Knb at kalahating part ng Wowowee. Hahaha. Nahawa na siguro ako sa mga tao dung yun ang palaging pinapanood. =)

    We just went swimming last Saturday. The outing was a bit typical. I mean, I have been to that resort so, nothing new to explore. But then, what made it different is that it was a kind of Capuchino [mother side clan] reunion. Throw up company party sana yun ng Tito ko pero it turned out na mas marami pa kaming mga kamag-anak niya kaysa sa mga empleyado! Haha. Ang saya kasi nagkita-kita ulit, tawanan, at shempre chismisan! Headlines nanaman sa aming mag-pipinsan yung isyu sa early pregnancy ng isa naming pinsan. Not to mention her parents who are.. uggh.. I just don't know how to describe them because they're "mentally incapacitated" in my own terminology. We have thought that their family are acting so weird and turns out to be the black sheep of the clan. Seriously. Oh well, I guess it's good enough to confer certain things in the emergence of it. At least occurrences get clearer and somehow it makes the bond tighter within relatives. I believe in the power of communication. Even though I'm a Manileña, I never stop coming back from where my roots had been. Batangas is where most of my relatives live and I guess it's a perfect term to call it as my personal cradle. =)

Ang di marunong lumingon sa pinang-galingan ay di makakarating sa paroroonan.

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April 12th 2005 | Tuesday | 08:49pm

"SEEING MYSELF AS SMALLER"

    My muscles are throbbing hard up to now! As I type this entry, my fingers can't stop to tremble. Waah. Napasubo ako sa isang volleyball game kanina. I never knew that I would experience such pain afterwards. I played for 3 hours!

    I found a new competitive playmate in the neighborhood. First, I was playing with my usual buddy, Silven [out guy house helper] who happens to be my "gasgas na kalaro" [haha]. Di siya ganoong marunong mag-volleyball kaya pa-tira-tira lang ginagawa namin at talagang napipilitan lang maglaro dahil sa pangungulit ko. Haha. Later on, I saw one of our neighbors who has been watching us play. All I know about her is that she's a house helper who takes care of a Chinese kid. Her name is Sally. Maya-maya, nung hinahabol ko yung bola sa kalsada, siya ang kumuha. Nagtanong siya kung pwede daw ba siya sumali. Pumayag naman ako siyempre at saka pinalitan si Silven na suko na daw.

    I stand 5 feet 8 inches tall. Dream height daw ng ilan, pang-modelo o di kaya, pang-atleta ang tindig. Pero kanina, parang nanliit ako sa height ko. It was a strange feeling that I looked down unto myself again. And maybe, that's the reason why I was playing hard volleyball and was so pushed to the limit because I want to somehow prove myself that I must not be ashamed of my limited skills. Sally, who stands about 5'2 or 5'3, can play volleyball really well. I admit the fact she's a way better than me especially in tossing & spiking. How I admire her cleverness.

    At first, I never thought that a woman like her [a house keeper & with an average height] would bash me some shame. Hehe. Di naman ako naasar sa kanya or something pero, yun na nga I felt a bit desirous. I learned that we should never judge a book by its cover. Di nadadaan sa height o sa katayuan sa buhay ang galing sa sports. Nung tanungin ko siya, aba varsity player pala siya sa TIP [I'm not sure if I heard it right] at nag-ttraining M-W-F.

    Pupunta ako ulit ng Batangas bukas! Swimming nanaman yipee! This might be a dead journal for 4 days. "BRB" muna sa mga ka-chat. I'm going to miss my pc so much! ;p

Don't judge a book by its cover..

 sabi ko naman: DON'T JUDGE ME, I AM NOT A BOOK! hahaha! *toinks!*

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April 11th 2005 | Monday | 07:30pm

"ACTION!"

    Well I did a couple a new things today. Somehow I was able to use my time properly and enjoyed what I did.

    Schenly [7 yrs old] and Xianne [5 yrs old] were back from their vacation in Bulacan. I missed these two kids because they're at the same time, witty and playful. Kasama pa nila yung pinsan nilang 10 years old. So I planned to launch another "Shelly Production Film" [haha!] and this time, the scene takes place in a Beauty Pageant Contest. It's so funny. I bet we both enjoyed it because I dressed them up, put some make-up on their young faces and set lots of borloloys which added to the humorous theme of my mini-film. Medyo mahirap nga lang at nakakabugnot  kumuha ng video kapag mga bata ang artista. Maybe it takes a lot of dedication to shout the words "Action!" and you really have to love the work. Unless you're not patient to deal with kids, you won't understand what's within a kid's world. Tuwang-tuwa yung mga tao dito sa bahay. They just loved my mini-film.

    Afterwards, I decided to clean the bookshelves and sort the old books which are to be donated soon. I kind of love it in spite the sweaty and dusty situation. Muli ko kasing nabuklat ang mga luma kong libro. At habang gingawa ko yun, nagbabalik ang mga alaala. Tila ba umaksyon pabalik ang panahon. Nabasa ko yung mga reflection papers ko nung grade 3 na puro wrong grammar, yung mga drawing ko at kung anu-ano pa. Nakakatuwa talaga. Too bad I have to dispose some of these memorabilia already and the space isn't enough to keep them all. I just told myself that at least before these sentimental things are gone, I was able to ponder on them. Unique experience.

    x`cez: Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang mag-text. After 10 years, natuto din magparamdam. Nagkaroon din ng aksyon. Hay. I just miss you so much! Hope you still keep in touch.

"When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world."

- John Muir

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April 9th 2005 | Saturday | 09:27pm

"KWENTONG ROYAL HIGHNESS"

    I watched the Royal wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles on CNN. Napadaan lang talaga ako sa channel na yun at nung makita ng mom ko [na adik sa mga kwentong royalty] yung pagsisimula ng seremonya, wala na kong magawa kundi makinood na rin. Ayaw na niyang ipalipat yung channel! She has been so crazy about it and somehow I saw the reason why so many people are frantic about Royalty events.

    My mom shared with me a short profile of this Royal family. Well I hope I can impart information from you. They live in Buckingham Palace [I'm not sure of the spelling]. As we all know, the late Princess Diana of Wales was the former wife of Prince Charles. They had two sons: Prince William [which is so cute!] and Prince Harry. Queen Elizabeth, wife of Prince Philip, is the present head of this Royal family. She's the mother of Prince Charles, the eldest son. First born sons / daughters take the king / queen position but then, Prince Charles won't be a king anymore. It's for the reason that if you get married to a non-royal blood, you cannot take the kingship anymore. Camilla is not a royal blood and so, Charles cannot be considered as a king anymore. So, Prince William shall be the next king. That is, if he marries a royal blood too. [gets niyo pa ba? haha] Somehow you'll become a shame in the family if you didn't go with the tradition. Wala ka tuloy kalayaang pumili ng mamahalin. Di ba? Y

   Camilla didn't take the position as the new Princess of Wales [this was Diana's former position, but because she died already, the next wife can take over]. She just wanted to be called as Duchess of Wales. Sunod kasi yun sa rank ng princess. To make it clearer, here's the ranking of Royal families: 1) King / Queen 2) Prince / Princess 3) Dutch / Duchess 4) Lord / Lady 5) etc.. etc..

Rumors said that Camilla and Charles had an affair even before Diana's marriage with Charles. Well actually, Diana admitted before that it was just a fixed wedding. Charles and Diana never loved each other. Camilla was married to another man before but she got divorced soon. Mahal talaga nina Charles at Camilla ang isa't isa. And now that Camilla is finally married, she's trying to win the affection of the people but I guess the charisma of Princess Diana is just so irreplaceable.

    Aba, ang hirap din palang maging royal highness. Para ka palang kandidato na nanliligaw sa publiko! Bukod pa diyan yung walang kamatayang press exposure. Di ba't paparazzi ang dahilan kung bakit nabangga sina Princess Diana. I also knew that Royal families have this responsibility to help in the charity, do projects and fund-raising. Di lang sila paupo-upo sa gintong trono. And as what I said earlier, you'll never have the freedom in marriage because the whole clan is within your burdens. Hay naku, gwapo nga si Prince William, eh wala naman siyang kalayaang pumili ng gusto niya! And I guess they never lived a normal life because there's always restrictions and thousands of eyes looking at you. It's as if your life is an open book that the whole world may always condemn.

    Sometimes we dream of such fame and money. We want to be princesses and be treated as high. Pero kung ako rin lang tatanungin, naku okay na ko bilang isang ordinaryong estudyanteng nagagawa naman ang halos lahat ng gusto niya. Di man ako ganun kayaman o ka-sikat, at least I can own privacy whenever I wanted to.

All that matters is that you treat me right. Give me all the things I need that money can't buy.

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April 8th 2005 | Friday | 09:31pm

"WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL"

    I have been watching the Pope's funeral ceremonies the whole day. Besides, almost all of the channels are on coverage for that event so I just thought of watching anyway. Somehow, I was moved with the way people gave sympathy for the Pope's loss. Ang daming tao sa Roman ngunit sa kabila nun, nanatiling maayos ang Vatican City. I guess they showed the best way to grant due respect to a person who died. I was hands down too to the media men and journalists who wonderfully delivered a fervent news coverage. All systems go silang lahat. Ang galing. Sana balang araw makapunta din ako sa iba't ibang bansa upang magsulat ng istorya at magbalita. Hehe.

    Speaking of writing, I wrote a mushy essay a while ago. For me, writing is the least way to convey the true feelings in my heart. Siguro may naalala lang akong isang tao ngayon. Naisipan ko lang gumawa, alay para sa kanya at nawa, mabasa niya.

"PAYONG"

by: shellyyy

    Bakit ba sa tuwing maglalakad ako, bigla na lang kitang maaalala? Saan mang lupalop ako mapunta, malayo na sa kinatatayuan mo, masid ko pa rin ang mga alaala mo. Minsan mahirap pala maglakad nang mag-isa, di dahil sa pangambang mananakawan ka ng polseras o ng relo kundi, nakakatakot din palang manakawan ng mga sandali at magbabalik sa iyo ang kahapon.

    “Time can heal the wounds.” Yan ang madalas na pampalubag-loob sa mga taong nasasawi sa pag-ibig. Ilang beses ko din yan naging quote of the day. Sa katunayan, quote of the century pa nga eh. Kulang na lang eh lamunin ko yang mga salitang yan araw-araw at itatak sa puso’t utak kong makakahanap pa ako ng iba bukod sa iyo. Inaamin kong dumating sa punto ng buhay kong nagbalik ang mga tanong na ‘bakit’ at ‘paano’. Nangahas akong balikan ka sa nakalipas na siya namang nilisan mo na pala. Minsan din akong naghanap ng mga sagot sa sanlibong tanong ko at nagtagal ding lumalim ang pag-iisip ko tungkol sa akin at sa iyo.

    Dati nga’y napalinga pa ako sa isang lalaking masikap na ipinag-papayong ang kanyang girlfriend. Kainitan ng araw nun at kailangan kong ihabol ang mga requirements kong ipapa-photocopy ko pa. Sa kabila ng hectic hours ika nga, tila baga nag-pagong ang mga paa ko habang nakatitig sa magkasintahang yun. Napakasaya kasi nilang titigan, magkaakbay, at magkahawak ang kamay. Alam mo, naalala kita. Di kailang minsang na-miss kita. Di ko maitangging hinanap ko ang mga pagkakataong may kasama akong maglakad sa labas at saka maghahabol sa tumatakbong oras.

    Noon, gusto kong ungkatin muli ang lahat. Ngunit, palagi ko ring naiisip, eh ano pang silbi ng mga yun gayong tapos na ang lahat sa atin? Tapos na ang pamamasyal natin tuwing hapon. Tapos na ang panonood natin ng basketball games o ang pakiki-party natin kapag gabi. Sarado na ang mga pintuan, pati ang pintuan ng mga puso natin siguro. Sa katunayan, inalis ko na ang lahat ng mga bagay na magpapaalala sa iyo. Letraro, liham, mga regalo at kahit friendster account mo, binura ko na din sa friend list ko. Oo, sabi natin noon na magiging “friends” pa rin tayo pero na-realize kong ang hirap palang isiping magiging kaibigan na lang ako para sa iyo kaya mas pinili kong tuluyan nang lumayo para kalimutan ka.

    Dumikit ako sa paniniwalang “The past may bring you happiness in the present.” Di ako naubusan ng lakas nang iwan mo ko. Nagpatuloy ako sa buhay ko. Ika nga, umiikot ang mundo at hindi titigil ang mundo para lang sa isang katulad ko kung kaya’t kailangang mag-move on. Nagsulat pa rin ako, naging mabuting estudyante at kahit puro sawing tema na lang ang mga inilalathala ko, hala sige, nagpakalunod pa rin ako sa mga trabaho. Akalain mo, sa paglalakad kong yun habang nakatingin sa magkasintahan at inaalala kita, nakabangga ko naman ang isang maginoong estudyante. Isang tipikal na eksena ang pagkalaglag ng mga papel ko at saka pinulot niya isa-isa ang mga yun ngunit, napatunayan kong totoo din pala ang mga ganung mala-pantasyang istorya. Nalaman kong student volunteer pala siya dun sa library kung saan ako magpapa-photocopy. Dun kami unang nagkakilala.

    Inaamin kong matagal na panahong ikaw pa rin ang iniisip ko kahit nandiyan na siya. Nung una, di ko makuha kung bakit palagi niya kong sinasamahang maglakad at magliwaliw sa park. Nagtataka ako kung bakit binibilhan pa niya ko ng kape kapag nagsusulat ako. Pero sabi nga, “time can heal the wounds” at dagdag ko pa, “…but you must take your time letting go and love will bring you to a lesser sorrow"

    Ngayon, nakakatuwang isiping kung di dahil sa pag-iisip ko sa nakalipas, di ko makikilala ang kasalukuyan. Ilang months ko na rin siyang kasama at masaya naman ako. Minsan pala, di rin naman masamang isipin ang dating kasawian sapagkat, baka nandun ang mga kasagutan.  At higit sa lahat, mahalagang bigyan ng sapat na panahon ang pusong muling bumangon. Matagal man akong naglakad nang mag-isa noon, di ako napagod maghintay sa taong susunod na makikisukob sa payong ko. ●

There's always a thin line between dreams and reality.. but it is through the power of the mortal hand that makes it possible. the wildness of imagination. the strength of mind. this line is of endless reach when you know how to interpret and write..

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April 6th 2005 | Wednesday | 10:41pm

"TIME RUNS EMPTY"

    It's kind of boring today and that's the reason why I keep on staring at the computer clock, puzzled how come time isn't running the way it used to be. Paulit-ulit na lang ang mga ginagawa ko ngayon - manood ng tv, kumain, at mag-computer. Medyo nakakasawa na nga actually eh. Harhar. Bute may bago akong na-diskubreng pinagkaka-abalahan sa computer.

    Since then I love playing mind-boggling games. I like it because it makes my mind logically functional and even though it's vacation time, I knew these games would sharpen my skills. I believe it's a past time which is worth-to-spend-with. There were so many internet and CD-ROM games already that I've finished and enjoyed so much. Here are my favorites: Scrabble, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Hangaroo, Hangman, Text-Twist, Resident Evil, Mottas and my current addiction - Spooks! It's an online game which fits for investigative game aficionados. For a journalist like me, it's an appropriate one. It trains my memory skills, common sense and LOGIC [at nawa, makatulong toh upang mabawi ang 2.5 na hatol ni Sir Baccay sa akin! Haha!]. The main objective of this game is to accomplish all the task that the agent will assign to you. You have to finish series of training academies before going to the actual mission. I'm still on training and damn, it's too hard! Oh well, it's exciting to play though. Try niyo guys! Para di lang friendster at blogs ang pinupuntahan niyong sites maya't maya. I got so addicted to it and I stayed online for 2 hours just for that! Kahit papaano, may naging kabuluhan ang pag-ubos ko sa oras. Hehe.

x`cez: Bakit yung ibang tao di na nagpaparamdam kahit sa text? Hay. Teka pala, PANAWAGAN: Text niyo naman ako, wala akong makausap minsan eh! Haha. Kung kelan pa naman may load na ako at wala akong ginagawa, saka pa kayo nagpaka-bato. Miss ko na kayong lahat! =) Sana tuloy pasukan na lang. At least, I do a lot of things when I go schooling. Here I go again, napaka-balimbing. Sala sa init, sala sa lamig. Haha.

There are times when you might feel that I don't remember you.. I'm not texting you.. Or not even calling you,, What you don't know is that, maybe all those times I was the one waiting for you to remember me..

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April 5th 2005 | Tuesday | 08:55pm

"NO REGRETS"

    I already saw my 2nd semester grades. Well as expected, [nung umpisa pa lang ng 2nd sem] I won't be able to make it for Dean's List. 1.77 average ko. Eh ang kailangan ay 1.75. Sayang kung iisipin pero naku! Di naman ako grade conscious eh. Okay lang. Di naman ako napagalitan dahil naniniwala naman sila sa pagpapatakbo ko ng buhay-eskwela ko. Di na nila pinapakialaman yun. Basta daw ang mahalaga, may natutunan. =) At saka, naisip ko, napagbigyan na naman ako nung 1st sem at DL ako nun. Aminado din akong naging pabaya ako. Siguro masyado lang akong na-distract sa kung anu-anong bagay! Haha. Perhaps, it was also my choice not to focus much on it. Minsan, nakakapagod din. Anyway, as said by many, what matters most is not on the numbers but rather, on the stuffs that you realize from it. There's nothing to loose because I had the greatest time of my student life last 2nd semester. Even now, I'm having a great summer time!

    I've experienced the ideal swimming getaway last Sunday! Things went a way better than I expected to be. It's just that I went back to Manila na Negrita na [haha!], at namamanas sa sobrang pag-lafang. But anyways, ika nga, it's a "once in a blue moon kind of thing so beat it!" I just ignored everything for the sake of getting the gist of this trip! I woke up so early last Sunday. Actually it was kind of hard to wake up because I'm not used to it. I've waited for everyone else to be ready and while doing so, I was watching CNN as the news broke up that Pope John Paul II passed away already. Died at the age of 85, 9:37pm Rome time.

    Speaking of that, it was an expected thing na rin namang mamamatay siya eh. Di naman nagkulang sa pag-aalaga yung mga doktor at pinatunayan ng Papa na kaya niyang pag-isahin ang mga tao para magdasal para sa kanya. Siguro nga, hanggang dun na lang ang buhay niya. He's a noble man to be remembered. News also said that the people calls for Pope John Paul II as the next saint. Well, if you're going to ask me, I'm in favor of it. I've been watching news and TV specials about him and I felt that he really became a good purveyor of God's Love. He deserves such recognition so that people of the next generation would know that once, a "People's Pope" lived to give light to others.

    We reached El Madero Resort at about 10:30am na. Nagluto at nag-ayos pa kasi ng mga gamit. Ang dami-dami namin at ang saya-saya! Halos ma-flat na ang gulong, taob ang kaldero. It was a perfect summer scenario! -- hot weather, amoy ng inihaw, eating tropical fruits, boosting sound system, my red swimming outfit [haha] and beach volleyball! Alright! Tapos yung mga kasama ko pa ay sobrang makukulet! Haha. Picture dito, video doon. Akala mo artista eh noh. The place was very relaxing and how I wish laging ganun kasaya. Wala lang.

    Kahit pumalya ang goggles ko, [dahil pumapasok ang tubig sa loob!] eh na-perfect ko din ang pag-ffloating! Kahit pinasukan ng tubig ang tenga ko, eh na-enjoy ko pa rin ang pag-didive! At kahit pag-uwi, napagod ang mga braso't kasu-kasuhan ko, it was all worth it! Naisip ko, sa kabila ng lahat ng pagod na dinaranas ng isang tao, makaramdam lang ng simpleng pampawi ng lumbay, tapos ang istorya. Kinagabihan, nag-ghost stories pa kami nina Ate Marife! Waah. At nag-shoot pa ko ng blooper videos nina Silven, Ate Aileen at Ate Inday. Hahaha.

    The next day, we went out to Robinson's. Sandali lang kami dun kasi naisipan naming mag-bump cars. Eh sa Fiesta Mall lang meron nun, kaya dun naman kami pumunta at namasyal. Again, it was so much fun! Buti pa pala yung manibela ng bump cars, ang daling pagalawin kaysa sa actual car. Haha. It's so cool to go bumpy and spin the way you want it!

    We often regret on things but hey, try to look unto the other side of it. You might witness and prove yourself that not only negative things do exist. Who knows, behind every dark portion comes a bright door waiting to be unlocked by YOU.

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April 2nd 2005 | Saturday | 06:44pm

"RANDOM THOUGHTS"

    Aalis ako bukas! Finally, makakapag-swimming na rin ako. Oh yeah. I'm a bit excited but at the same time, quite unease. Naisip ko kasi, after ng 3-day out of town ko, boring times nanaman. Minsan pala ang hirap ding maging super excited at super saya kasi maya-maya, babaligtad nanaman ang mundo.

    Anyways, I was in UST a while ago for the Clearance Day. Now it's official to say that I passed freshman year and time is so fast, sophomore na ko! I met my friends once more. Many had change on their looks - some had a new haircut, longer hair, hair bangs, skin tans, and bigger weight. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng summer. Instant transformation ba. Hehe. After getting the clearance forms, Madie, Dez, Clara and I ate at Chowking. Pinaglaruan pa namin yung tirang foods, pasaway! Tipong yung tirang halo-halo, nilagyan ng toyo at ng pinunit na resibo! Hahaha. I've gone crazy once more. Maybe I just missed their company. Clara also gave me her invitation and I guess there's a bigger chance to attend her debut than of Arene's. Bukod sa malayo, eh may pupuntahan pa ko.

    Afterwards, I spent time at Kc's house in Sta. Cruz. [walking distance lang sa USTe]. Ayun. Dalawang oras na kwentuhan ever. We've shared a couple of family-related stories with each other. We had a great time. Wala lang. Pagkauwi ko, nag-impake lang ako sandali ng gamit  tapos chat sessions nanaman. Naka-chat ko si Ate Roxy at pasaway ang chat namin ngayon! Here's a portion of our funny conversation:

[...]

shelly: dami ka cguro katxt plgi noh..yihaa..pengeng textm8s nmn dian..

ATE`ROXY: dapat sun ka rin...mahirap pag globe eh

ATE`ROXY: di unlimited!

ATE`ROXY: kaya wala ka-textmate eh haha

shelly: hehe! hmmf toh! =) dali na, kht globe ako!

shelly: woi gusto ko ng katxt na fafable.. tps mabaet.. tps matangkad.. tps uhmm.. hahaha!

ATE`ROXY: nyok!

shelly: 5`8 pataas..kse 5`8 na ako eh.. haha..

ATE`ROXY: nyok ulit

shelly: ai lam mo ba kainis, lagi na lang ako nauuntog sa jeep! =)

ATE`ROXY: ganun?!

shelly: kaw? any experience dat made height as a disadvantage?

ATE`ROXY: dami din..

ATE`ROXY: isa na yung sa jeep, sa boys, sa shoes etc

shelly: waah sa boys.. i agree..

ATE`ROXY: mdyo oki ka nga eh kasi 5'8 ka lang

shelly: nku bka tumangkad pko kse wala pkong 18! hehe..nakaka-tangkad ba tlga ang tulog? mhilig ako mtulog!

ATE`ROXY: siguro..mahilig din akong matulog eh

ATE`ROXY: ilan taon ka na b?

shelly: in denial na 17 na.. haha.. kunwari 15 pa lang..

ATE`ROXY: naku baka umabot ka ng 5'10

shelly: waah..may gamot bang pam-paliit ng height?  joke2

ATE`ROXY: ang ganda kaya ng matangkad! tamang tama lang ang 5'8

shelly: sa bagay.. well..tsaka sbe dw, dapat tall girl kapag journalist.. hehe

ATE`ROXY: ganun b..

shelly: ..to scare robbers & corrupt officials!

ATE`ROXY: LOL

shelly: cge ha ate roxy,, til nxt tym,, kakaen na dw kme,,  take care! mishu!

ATE`ROXY: bye

Happy Shalala. It's so nice to be happy. Shalalala.

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April 01 2005 | Friday | 10:00pm

"TULAK NG BIBIG, KAPIT NG DIBDIB"

    I played scrabble the whole day. I found this game very interesting because besides giving so much entertainment and relaxation for me, my brain gets interweaved. Mind-boggling activities sharpen my beaten memory caused by too much use of the computer. Somehow I was able to befriend Mr. Webster again [hehe] and recover my long lost vocabulary skills. It also allows myself to have quality time with my mom. She has been always my playmate since I was in grade school. Nakakatuwa nga eh kasi dati rati, di ko siya matalo-talo. Ngayon, nabaligtad na ang ikot ng scrabble board. I often win. Actually, I want to join a scrabble tournament. I have been seriously playing Scrabble for almost 6 years. Hmm. Maybe I can call myself as "scrabble master" already. Bwahahaha. Ang kapal.

    Besides being obsessed with the game, I was thinking of one person a while ago. AGAIN. And damn, I can't deny the fact that I still miss the old days. Magaling nga akong mag-isip ng mga salitang ilalagay sa scrabble board pero kanina, di ako maka-isip ng eksaktong salita upang mailabas ang totoong nararamdaman ko. Patuloy pa rin ang pagtatanong ko. Madalas akong sumangguni kay Mr. Webster pero kanina, hindi niya masagot ang mga tanong ko dahil wala naman talaga ang sagot dun. Hay. We used to have the most precious moments, the prefect treatment, the immeasurable happiness of having each other. Ewan ko ba. Lumipas na lang ang panahon at sadyang nabago ang lahat. Bakit ba kasi dapat mangyari yun.

No words can express how much, I love you.

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