July 31 2005 | Sunday | 06:56pm

"DEAL"

    Right now I'm still thinking about what my mom has been telling me regarding my debut on November. Initially, my plan was the traditional debut. That means having a garden-located celebration, having 18 roses & stuffs and making my cousin's band play Acoustic. I've been imagining of that event. Actually, we've found a good location already and had decided that Orange & Yellow shall be the motif. [hehe] Also, it thrills me knowing on that day, I would be able to come together all important guests who have been a part of me - relatives, friends and classmates. Pretty much it's a once-in-lifetime day for every teenager who turns to adulthood. But then, in the middle of my day-dreaming, I found some points as raised by my mom which puts me into a dilemma whether to push through or not with the traditional debut. My thoughts got shaken and right now I'm kind of confused.

    She gave me a deal. Kapalit ng di ko paghahanda ng isang engrandeng debut, pupunta naman kami sa ibang bansa! To stress out, she said "We'll go to different countries" [with the whooping "S"! Oh my!] Nagulat naman ako sa nanay ko para mag-propose nang ganoong plano! Para bang once-in-a blue moon deal din yun at ang hirap pakawalan kung di ko papatulan. At saka daw, ayaw na niya kasing mag-asikaso ng debut. Lalo pa kong na-excite nung itanong ko, "Eh pwede tayo sa China?" Take note, pumayag siya! [wahahaha!] Matagal ko ng gustong pumunta dun, magpa-picture siguro sa likod ng Great Wall of China o tumabi sa rebulto ni Confucius! Hahaha. Grabehan. As you can see, I really love to travel and it would most probably be a wonderful experience to reach other countries.

    Another factor that was raised is the practicality of celebrating a birthday. Somehow I've thought of the fact that it's a one-night celebration yet takes weeks or months of preparation. Hassle to some extent. Pasukan na ulit yun, 2nd sem. Iisip ka ng motif, souvenir, aayusin mo pa yung catering, sound system, guest participation, gown, etc. Bukod pa diyan, nabanggit na ng ilan na hindi na raw masyadong uso yung ganung klaseng debut. Magastos ba. At napansin ko rin kapag uma-aatend ng mga debut, para bang yung debutant lang mismo yung nag-eenjoy. Sometimes, there are instances wherein guests get bored and yes, I'm also admitted of that feeling. Eh gosh, ayoko namang mangyari yun sa mga guests ko if ever. Hay. Tapos may mga taong di pa makakapunta sa debut ko. Si Yel baka daw umalis na't sumakay na ng barko. Di pa rin sure kung lahat ng kamag-anak ko sa Batangas makakaluwas dahil ang laki-laki ng clan namin. Haha. Much that I wanted to see them all on my birthday, there might be hindrances to obtain it.

    So all-day, this has been my story. By the way, I went to UST a while ago for the NTSP exams. Nakakaasar yung magulong sistema ng pagpapa-exam nila! Disorganized kaya may puro singitan, unahan at lamangan sa pila. Sa sobrang init, para bang nawala yung iniligo ko nung umaga. Haha. Then after all the hardships of taking that stupid prelims, I just got 38/50 though I studied hard! hay naku! Sabi nga namin ni Mau, sana di na lang kami nag-aral, baka mas natuwa pa kami. Lolz. Mabuti pa si Dez, naka-42 out of 50! Halimaw at kasamba-samba. Haha. Arene gave me pastillas pala. [Thanks!] at I'm munching on it right now. I'm supposed to watch UAAP volleyball pero tinamad ako. So bago umuwi, nag-meeting kami para sa Journ. We dealt with the problem of shortened time of our reporting. Si Sir kasi eh, gustong bukas na mag-quiz [Grr!]. So anyways, kumain kami pagkatapos. Bonding moment again with college pals and this time, Sir Esguerra was the main topic of discussion! Haha. Napaka-multi tasked man niya kasi eh, but still he remains so debonair and he's good at everything! Basta, kung anu-anong napag-usapan namin at dahil kay Anne sumakit na naman tiyan ko sa kakatawa. Hahaha.

    Pag-uwi ko, natulog na naman ako nang 2 oras. At yun nga, pagka-gising ko, napag-kuwentuhan namin yung sa debut. Later on, I decided to turn on the TV and watch UAAP. Buti naman nanalo na sa wakas ang UST! Great deal for them. Pakaba mode pa ah, umabot ng Overtime. Akala ko matatalo pa sila ng NU. Nakaka-relaz din kahit papaano manood. Ang galing mag-shoot ni Asoro [of NU] and on UST's side, natuwa ako kay Jojo Duncil na tumalsik ang sapatos habang nag-ddrive ng bola! Tsktsk. Well of course, that's purely accidental but hey, I've thought of it as something nakakahiya kasi biruin mo, ang dami-daming taong nanonood tapos pupulutin mo yung sapatos mo sa gitna! Wahaha. ;p

One's desire is caused by one's knowledge of it. The more ideas you have, the more you desire.

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July 27 2005 |Wednesday | 10:32pm

"WORKING TOGETHER"

    The nice thing about taking a heavy job is when you know that you're not alone doing it. A while ago I spent my whole afternoon accomplishing the Filipino research work [considered as our Prelims] and yes, I certainly enjoyed it because we worked together as a group at our house. I was with Vet, Scent, Anne, Joan, Angge, Judy & Gian for a much longer time while Arene, Madie Imee, Charles & Kristine were present too but they weren't able to stay until 7pm. So anyways, the topic consigned is on "Women" and since it's due to submit a report tomorrow regarding the gathered figures, we've allotted time to correlate information, interpret statistics and put it through a Powerpoint presentation. Thank God we made it. Mag-rereport na lang bukas para i-explain yun.

    So in the middle of the dreary run, I seemed to enjoy the company of everyone especially when the sharing of thoughts, feelings & observations began. Haha. Well it was simply a bonding moment as we commented on each one's story. At that time, I felt like I got closer to these block mates of mine. Araw-araw ko man sila nakakasama sa Room 205 pero di ko sila palaging nakakausap nang ganun kaya kanina, ang dami kong bagong nalaman. Siyempre nag-share din ako ng sarili kong kuwento at nakakatuwa namang malaman na nakaka-relate din sila sa mga kuwento ko. Naramdaman kong di ako nag-iisa. [You know this!] This day has been certainly a unique experience.

    Bukod sa kuwentuhan, nag-music jam din kami gamit ang piano kong kahit pipi na ang ilang tiklado, ay napasaya pa rin kami lalo na sina Scent at Anne. Hehe. Sa tinagal ng panahon, para bang nabuhay ulit yung interes ko sa pagtugtog ng piano. Tatlong taon na kasi akong di nag-ppiano eh. Naisip kong aliw na aliw si Anne sa piano ko tapos ako ini-indian ko lang at naiiwang inaalikabok sa ilalim ng hagdan. Hehe. So anyways, siyempre di rin nawala ang kainan moments. Nung lunch time, naglakad kami papuntang Mayon. Kanya-kanyang pili ng fastfood chain dahil magkakatabi naman. [Greenwhich, Jolibee & Chowking. Haha ;p] Nag-take out na lang kami at sa bahay na kami kumain. Kinahapunan naman, nagka-librehan pa ng ice cream, coke at tinapay courtesy of Scent. Wuhoo. Mas sumarap ang pag-ttrabaho sa harap ng PC kasi may nginunguya. Hehe.

    Kahit nakakapagod, kahit alam kong marami pang dapat gawin bukod sa Filipino project at kahit wala pa akong tulog talaga [dahil dun sa article ng MOD], nasabi kong okay pa rin ako kanina. Yun nga siguro ang kapangyarihan ng mga kaibigan at kasamahang di ka binibitawan. And maybe, that's really how g-r-o-u-p-w-o-r-k spells. Through this event, I was able to look on the brighter side of things again.

x`cez: Kahit talaga napuyat ako, natuwa naman ako. Kasi ba naman, di ko inexpect na masasagot agad ni Ate Rox yung interview. Binigay ko nung umaga, na-email na agad niya ng gabi! So last night, around 11:00pm na, she surprisingly texted me, telling me to check whether the reply was sent. I was really about to sleep then, but since I must even out with the standard of professionalism by Ate Rox, I went downstairs to open my Yahoo mail again. As I opened it, mali pala yung na-send niya. Hehe. Inaantok na nga siguro. So I told her about it at nag-online naman siya ulit. Magka-chat na kami nun para mas mabilis. Nakailang beses na error talaga sa pag-send nun at grabe antok na antok na talaga ko. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, knowing that I'm not alone being oh-so sleepy, I felt much thankful rather. Noon ko talaga napatunayan kung gaano ka-propesyunal na ka-trabaho si Ate Rox. Biruin mo, she really allotted time for it. And every time I talk with her regarding matters on that thing, she immediately responds. I felt the trust, I felt the interest. So bandang 11:40pm na nang matanggap ko yung tamang file at nag-bbye na rin kami sa isa't isa. Sabi ko tutulog na ako, siya hindi pa rin daw kasi gagawa pa ng balloons para kay Ate Chelle! [bday niya ngayon]. Grabe, di lang siya professional, ideal friend pa. What a discovery again.

Born together we stand, divided we fall. Together we climb to the top of the world..

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July 26 2005 |Tuesday | 07:46pm

"TALBOG"

    My body aches right now. Bukod sa umulan at nalamigan ang katawan ko, eh nag-PE pa ako kaninang hapon. It's a Tuesday so as expected, I attended a 2-hour basketball class at the Seminary Gym [sa may P. Noval na favorite kong tambayan! haha]. Kahit nakakapagod, natututunan ko ng mahalin ang bawat Martes dahil nga sa may PE. Kahit dalawang beses na akong nawawalan ng gamit kapag Martes, aba eh kanina nawala ng bad spirits at natuwa naman ako lalo. Mas naging maingat siguro ako at madalas kong chine-check  ang mga gamit ko. Hehe. For two hours, I felt like flying through the air, our lesson was on lay-up. Cool.

    So kanina, parang kinarir ko talaga yung lesson sa lay-up. Nagpapa-break time na si Sir Anselmo, eh todo takbo at dribble pa rin ako. It's funny coz I'm making a deal for myself - that when I get EIGHT straight lay-ups, I dedicate it to *Ching*. Haha. At nagawa ko nga! Bukod pa diyan ay ang EIGHT straight free throw shoots ko na muntik ko ng di matapos dahil mag-aalas singko na. Haha talaga. Naglaro din pala kami ng bente-uno nina Aubrey at Cyrin. Katuwa ulit, kasi nanalo ako. ^.^ Hay. Tila baga ang gaan-gaan ng feeling nun. Sa bawat pagtalbog ng bola, gayundin ang pagtalbog ng isip at ulirat kong may katotohanang balot pa ng dilim. [Biglang lumalim eh noh?! Haha!] Ang dami ko pa rin kasing alalahanin hanggang ngayon eh. Minsan feeling ko di ko na kaya, na tipong kinu-kuwestiyon kong deserving pa ba ako sa kurso ko. Ah ewan.

    On the other hand, I felt a sheer of light from this Journalistic profession crisis when things slowly get clear on my MOD sideline biz. So for the past few days, I have been talking with Ate Rox regarding the interview nga. Sa Sunday ko sana siya i-interviewhin pero papunta na pala siya ng Thailand sa Saturday dahil mag-tutune up game ang Philippines with other foreign countries. So as settled, It would just be via email. Buti naman at umokay, akala ko kasi mauudlot pa ang pag-ffeature ko sa kanya eh. Hehe. Meanwhile, I was able to speak with Ate Ging din pala kaninang after ng PE ko. Di pala siya kasama sa Thailand. So yun, as usual kuwentuhan kami at nabanggit kong ipapaabot ko na lang din yung questionnaire dahil di nga tuloy sa Sunday. Hay sayang talaga yung dinner plan na yun, boombastic pa naman sana kasi 2 silangmakakasama namin. Hehe. Maybe it was not just destined to happen. As always, things happen for a reason.

    Another thing pa pala, bigla na lang tumalbog sa isip kong sa pag-alis ni Ate Rox, isang linggo ko rin siyang di makakausap. Kaka-miss din kahit papaano. Tipong wala munang kulitan text messages at manaka-nakang kuwentuhan. Totoo, minsan siya talaga isa sa mga rason kung bakit gumagaan ang loob ko kapag super dami ng ginagawa. Mabasa ko lang ang mga mala-right timing na messages nya, napapangiti na lang ako. Ilang beses ko bang babanggitin na napaka-ideal sister niya talaga?! Hay. Oh well, I wish the RP team luck especially her that she may perform well. Go Ate Rox! Hehe.

    Speaking of talbog rin lang, mainit na isyu din sa buong araw ko ang pagiging "matalbog" ng isang tao. Matagal na ito eh, napuno na rin siguro ako. At sa pagsiwalat ko ng nararamdaman ko, nalaman kong di lang pala ako nag-iisa. Haha. Para ngang ako na lang pala ang di nagsasalita tungkol dun e. Hay. Ewan ko ba kung anong gagawin ko. Ayoko din naman kasing tumalbog sa akin pabalik ang Karma dahil alam kong masama ring magpa-talbog ng bola nang nakatalikod. Pero naisip ko ring gusto kong malaman at maramdaman niyang ang talbog-talbog na niya - na sa paraang yun, tatalbog pabalik ang pangaral na kusang magpapabago sa kanya.

Bounce it hard, as it shall bounce to you back hard as well. Whatever you do to others shall come back to you.

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July 25 2005 |Monday | 09:58pm

"READING BETWEEN THE LINES"

    So nag-SONA na nga kanina si GMA, puro Charter Change lang naman ang inilatag niya. Maraming umasa na malalamanan niya ang sanlibong tanong nga mga Pilipino, pero yun walang napala. Nag-aral din ako kanina pero parang wala lang. Bokya ang napasok ko sa kokote ko. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito ako ngayon. Lagi akong pa-easy2, na feeling ko kaya ko lahat. Feeling ko ang busy2 ko kanina pero wala naman akong halos nagawa! Hay! Kain ako ng kain, ng tsokolate, ng kanin, pero maya-maya nararamdaman ng tiyan kong hangin lang ang nilaman ko. Minsan naiisp kong puno ang mundo ko, pero yun pala walang laman. Nabubuhay na ata ako sa ilusyon - ilusyong gusto ko ng takasan dahil sawang-sawa na ko.

    Ang epekto ng kalungkutan, aba eh di magsulat. Eto ang outlet ko, kahit papaano na-feel kong may napagtanto ako. Sometimes, I just can't fully express everything directly. Right now, that's how I feel. So I just decided to put it in a poetry way. Pasensya na kayo kung masyadong malalim. Ganito ako magsulat kapag seryoso ako sa nararamdaman ko. Hehehe.

-- 654 --

 To an unknown reason of confinement

I found myself within empty sheets of blankness

I was keenly staring at the flash of light

The beam that pushes me to be bright

Then out of nowhere it clashed into pieces

Loosing all the vividness,

As I, falling apart from reality..

Straying from the truth that may seem to be mean.

Life dealt pre-occupation as an outlet of melancholy

Endless count of days to glimpse at,

Yet no reason to stay with it

As I kept on asking, why lights diffuse in an instant?

So in the midst of this appalling abyss

There, I am stumped and trying to escape

Don't ask why, for I cannot answer as well

In numerous contemplation yet again I can't reveal

Buti pa ang mga ibon, malayang nakakalipad.

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July 24 2005 |Sunday | 06:46pm

"COLLECT AND RECOLLECT"

    It's funny. This morning, I was busy searching for something important in my cabinets and drawers when some familiar bits and pieces popped and caught my attention. It has been quite awhile since I checked on these mini-collectibles. I was so addictive way back GS and HS in collective different stuffs. I can't believe I still have them. Afterwards, I got the fascination to hunt for some other collections that I seemingly stockpiled in time.

SHELLY's TOP 10 CR@ZY COLLECTION: ;p

    So after reckoning myself from that reunion with my collectibles, I really learned how to appreciate my past. I may have gone so crazy collecting this and that but then through it, I was able to see myself and do a reality check for my present. And also, mas lalo pa akong natutong magpahalaga dahil maliit man na bagay, maaari itong magdulot ng malaki para sa iyo. Tulad na lang nung ibang patapong bagay na kinokolekta ko noon, nagdala pa rin sa akin yun nga mga alaaala, ng mga pangaral at lakas na di ko alam kung saan ko kukunin kung wala yun.

    It's really advantageous to be sentimental once in a while. But then, I also learned how to set the bars and be not so stuck with it. I mean, when you do so, you'll never learn how to face the present with guts, because you're still damn crazy with your past's sentiments. For me that's not the purpose of memorabilia. Rather, it's for a boost of inspiration, to forfeit all the fears and qualms  that may have been hindering you to go on with life. I've been through a lot of these instances and I guess I'm just learning from it. =)

Life is a matter of chances. Collect possible chances, obtain them for good and if time comes that you loose it, recollect on it to get something new.

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July 23 2005 |Saturday | 10:23pm

"MY WEEKEND"

    Late na akong nagising kanina [about 11am] at siguro dahil nga sa napagod ako kahapon. I woke up a bit cranky, my head ached hard and I was so hungry. Downstairs I checked the fridge and munched on the left-over go nuts last night. So after rebuilding my oh-so worn out mood, I started to work on my Filipino synthesis paper. That was my core agenda of the day.

    I spent my whole afternoon typing in front of the PC. Sir Atalia required us to make a 3-page synthesis paper with the theme, "Wikang Filipino at ang Reyalidad ng mga Pilipino". Basically this was all about the past lessons we had and somewhat like an application paper. Thank heavens I'm done with it and I just have to print it soon. Finishing it at one seating was quite tedious to consider talaga. Ewan ko ba, nagpaka-darna na naman ako. Haha. But maybe so that I won't be worrying on it anymore because I have to work on my Journ report naman bukas. Hay. Sunud-sunod na silang lahat pero buti na lang nagagawa kong i-manage at i-budget ang oras ko.

    So since I was done early, I settled on coming along with my family at SM San Lazaro. It was about 5:30pm when we reached there. I was supposed to drive the car but my mom refused. Haha. So anyways, we ate first at Congo Grill. Man, the food was scrumptious! Not to mention of course the fine dining setting, sophisticated talaga! Hehe. I like the concept of place which is somewhat like a jungle-safari look. [mala-Congo nga ang dating hehe] and even the waiters were dressed in brown ranger suite. Astig. =) I was really an observant chic at that time since I left my phone in the car and I have nothing to do while waiting for the food. Hehe.

    We went shopping afterwards. As for myself, I bought new sunglasses [for glistening mornings], new ORANGE wallet [since I lose my old one nga], and brown foot cover. I also bought a medium-sized cork board! Why? It's because I saw the practicality of it. These past few days I have been too clumsy with my paper stuffs and I tend to forget things. So to organize them all, I decided to buy one. I can't wait to reach home, assemble, and fill it. Hehe.

    We also went to the grocery. Ang dami-daming tao! Muntik pa akong mawala sa maraming pagkakataon. Buti na lang at naka-pink na sleeveless ang nanay ko [ang kikay din noh? haha!] kaya madaling mahanap. At habang nag-ggrocery, todo hakot naman ako ng mga bagay na gusto ko. Tsktsk. Ang sarap nga naman ng libre. Nung nasa pila na, siyempre tumunganga to death na naman kami. And so, naging observant girl na lang ulit ako. =)

    Naisip ko nun, akala ko ba naghihirap na ang Pilipinas pero ang dami pa ring namimili sa mga grocery? Mataas na daw ang bilihin pero pinipili pa rin ng mga tao ang Monterey, Heinz o Armour. Ang mga Pinoy nga naman talaga oo. Mamilipit man di pa rin matitinag sa pagkain. Haha. But I guess it was because food is a basic need. Mas mauunawaan ko kung sa pagkain nga nauubos ang pera ng mga Pinoy kumpara mo sa iba pang puwedeng pag-gastahan. May mga Pinoy kasi, nauubos ang pera sa sugal, sa mga mamahaling alahas, o di kaya'y sa mga damit na madali namang masira! Buti pa kapag pagkain, lunukin mo lang, tataba ka pa! Hahaha. May nakaharap din pala kami kaninang magkasintahang bumili ng mga pang-sahog sa isang dinner ba. Siguro magpapa-impress sa magulang, hahaha. Naisip ko din tuloy, [kung ako yun] magawa ko kayang mag-grocery nang ganun at magluto?! Di naman kasi ako mahilig magluto eh! Haha. Pero hmm.. kung para kay *Ching* lang, aba! Go go Shelly!^.^

    We reached home 9:30pm na. Kakapagod. Inayos ko pa yung cork board ko, katuwa nga eh. Hehe. It's so nice to see that your stuffs are organized. Hope that item can aid me more as the days go by. Maya-maya nag-chat na ako. Wala naman masyadong tao, kakagulat nga eh. Nag-surf2 na lang ako at nang ma-bore na ko, naisipan ko na lang i-text si Ate Rox. Siyempre naaliw na naman ako sa mga kuwento niya. Galing din pala siya ng mall, nanood ng sine. Akala ko nga tulog na siya eh, yun pala naglalagalag pa! Haha ^.^ Kainggit tuloy siya kasi na-kuwento niyang napanood na niya yung "If Only"!!! Harhar. Naunahan pa ako! Sabi ko ako unang makakanood nun eh haha. Alala ko na naman yung nangyari kahapon, naudlot ang lahat pero..hay sige na nga di ko na yun pagsisisihan. Maghahanap na lang ako ng mayayaya bukas o sa mga susunod na araw para mapanood yung pelikulang yun. Ano ba kasing kuwento nun! HAHA. Lahat ng tao yan na lang ang bukang-bibig. Ka-curious tuloy!

My quality time is best achieved through YOUR smile.

[I Miss You. * Ching * mode.]

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July 22 2005 |Friday | 07:13pm

"MATAMIS NA PAG-ALALA"

    What a day! It was a mixture of bitter and sweet things! Even though this day wasn't the expected outlook as the most ideal occurrence, I can say that still, there are a couple of things to be thankful for.

    I took the Math exam a while ago and the topic was on Compound Interest. I felt the sweetness of being satisfied with my answers. Fingers crossed for a good output. Meanwhile, my Computer class was a bit delayed due to the previous class` test. We could have taken a test too but since Ma`am Lintag wasn't able to discuss <UL> tags in class, the test was moved until Monday. Di pa sure yan kasi SONA sa Monday! Wala daw pasok Haha. Sana nga, kasi marami akong gagawin over the weekend and I might ran out of time. So anyways, nung Journ & Nati Sci class naman, as usual boring kasi plain discussions lang. So after class, we ate at the "Orange Eatery" in Dapitan. The food server was so clumsy to spill the soup on my skirt. Tsktsk, bute nasa mood ako at hindi ako nagalit. Madalas kasi kapag ganun ang sistema sa mga kainan, madaling mag-init ang ulo ko. Maybe I was just so happy because I planned to go to the newly built SM San Lazaro with Kc. We finished eating at about 12:00pm.

    Since Kc still had a class until 1pm in DLSU, I stayed in the library muna with Madie. Nag-internet kami. It took us a while to get a computer unit because there were no vacancies. Kung saan-saang sections na kami napadpad, akyat manaog ba. Haha kapagod din. So later on, Madie and I split up at the Grandstand after going to the CR. I walked hurriedly to meet up with Kc. Naisipan ko pang kumain ng ice scramble on my way to Kc's house and yeah, it was so yummy. Malapit lang pala SM San Lazaro kaya lakad na naman ang ginawa ko.

    We're supposed to watch the movie, "If Only" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. My classmates have been telling that this film is heart-warming [iniyakan to ng guy kong classmate na si ni Djhay! haha!] kaya talaga namang nakaka-curious panoorin. Kc ate first at the food court until we've decided to talk once more about STC. And oh my, what a change of events! Napag-kasunduan naming bumalik na lang ng STC kaysa sa manood ng sine! Birthday din kasi ng former adviser naming si Ms T. on the 24th kaya naisip naming i-surprise. I also want to meet my long lost friend Ms Tsaby coz I miss her so much. So before going to STC, we bought something for them. Kay Ms T, half mocha cake and kay Ms Tsaby, Go nuts donuts!

    So we've finally reached STC. Memories once more came into spirit. Every time I visit that place, I just can't help but heave a sigh and say, "Damn I miss the old days.. Parang kailan lang.." Totoo. At sa tuwing makikita ko yung mga dati kong teachers na naka-ngiti sa muling pagbabalik ko, nakakatunaw talaga ng puso. Na-appreciate ko rin ang lahat ng Teresyanang bumati sa akin at di nakalimot na mangamusta. I finally saw Nia [hehe, one of my closest undergrad buddies then] and yeah, it was so great to see that kiddo again. Sabi niya na-miss na niya ko talaga. Naaalala ko noon na sa tuwing papasok ako, sasalubong yung mga tulad niyang makukulit at laging nang-huhug along corridors. Hay grabe! What a sweet reminisce!

    Matagal naming nakausap si Ma'am De Lara. In fact, she was the one who entertained us since Ms T and Ms Tsaby were not around pala! :( Nasa recollection sila pareho, too bad! Sa kanya na rin tuloy napa-bigay yung cake. Sayang naman kasi. So anyways, Ma'am De Lara was our 1st year teacher in Religion. Close talaga yung barkada namin sa kanya noon. Umalis siya ng STC for 4 years to enter the convent but after some time, she was back. I just loved what she said - the reason why she came back into teaching was simply because: home is where the heart is. She found home in STC so she settled.

    At katulad niya, naramdaman ko ulit ang "tahanan" sa loob ng paaralang yun. Though I've been enjoying my college days in UST, sometimes I think about my forgone days in high school. Bitter or sweet, I seemed to valued all my experiences there! That was where everything had begun! Mas naging feel at home pa ako nang pumunta kami ng Guidance Office. As usual, nakipag-goyoan na naman ako sa mga counselors dun. Haha. Ate Che was still there. Ka-miss din ang makulit na yun! Adik pa rin sa stars. Grabe, ngayon ko lang na-realize na ang gulo2 ko kanina. Naalala ko yung bangayan namin ni Ma'am Dianne tungkol sa pagtaba niyang ayaw niyang tanggapin!. Hahaha! Balik daw ako sa August 22 at papayat na siya. Haha. Also, Kc told them about my magazine appearances, kahiya pero nakakatuwa din pala. It flatters me to hear words of endearment and that they're so proud of me. Niloloko pa nilang di na raw ako ma-reach. Sabi ko naman, di mangyayari yun. Babalik at babalik pa rin ako ng STC no matter what because I owe almost all of my achievements from this beloved school. Really.

    We really stayed 2 hours in STC just to wait for Ms Tsaby but I guess it was such a bad time for us to meet with her. Sayang! Para tuloy kulang ang pagbisita namin. Umuulan na nun kaya nawalan na talaga kami ng pag-asang makita siya. Kami na lang ni Kc ang kumain ng Go nuts Donuts sa bahay. On our way home, Kc and I had another bonding time. Naglakad kami pauwi. Kahit maputik at basa ang kalsada, tuloy ang tawanan at kuwentuhan. Too many confessions very well revealed, too many mysteries unfolded once more. It was so bitter to feel that everything's over yet it still sweet to recall them all.

    Ang tamis-tamis ng Go nuts! Nasuya ako nang maka-dalawa na ko. Coke pa inumin namin kaya talaga namang nakaka-bloat! Finally Ms Tsaby texted Kc, nag-sosorry sa lahat ng nangyari. Di naman talaga namin sinabing pupunta kami para ma-surprise siya pero haha, kami pala ang ma-susurprise at wala siya dun. Sabi ko kay Kc na wag niya muna replyan, kunwari tampororot kami [haha]. At aba, na-feel nga niyang ganun. Tumawag pa sa cel! Grabe kaka-miss siya talaga, maski yung boses niya. Ang tagal kong kausap, naubos nga battery niya eh. Nasa FX na daw siya nun, 5pm natapos yung Recollection. Later, she texted me too. What a conversation again. Nagbabalik ang lahat. At oo, miss ko na talaga yung kaibigang tulad niya. I was so touched when she said, "Sayang. I badly needed a friend these past few days. Hay." Alala ko na naman tuloy yung librong, Tuesday's With Morrie. Words aren't enough how great Ms Tsaby is as a mentor.

    Just like her, I've been down too for the past few days. Tedious works in school and the rest of my deeds really shaken my spirit. But through that visit, I felt that immense strength once more. Life may sometimes be bitter to you, but as always, there's a counterpart. Most often it comes in an unexpected, imperfect and impulsive way but still, it's a unique and concessive taste of sweet times that will surely bring you to confinement.

    Wala pa kong nagagawang school work, bukas na lang. Masakit ang likod ko, pagod na ang mata ko, at ngarag na talaga ko pero sa kabila ng lahat, buo pa rin ako. Salamat sa STC family ko! See you soon and until the next visit..

Theresians, let your light shine and be a blessing..

[St Theresa of Avila]

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July 20 2005 |Wednesday | 10:08pm

"AYOKO NG PIRATED!"

    Minsan ang pangit pakinggan ng mga cd o dvd na pirated noh? Ilang linggo pa lang, patalon-talon na sa media player mo. Aliw na aliw ka ng kaka-kanta o kaka-panood pero hayun, hindi na gagana at sisirain pa kamo ang player mo. Ganun din pala kapag sa tao noh? Nakakainis ang mga piratang gaya-gaya sa mga nagpapaka-orihinal.

    I discovered something from a friend which had disappointed me. Honestly, right now I'm doubting at our friendship because all while I trusted her and thought that she was just idolizing my deeds & works. She seemed to copy everything - the acts, the means, the ideas just to enrapture people. I just darn hate copycats, who has nothing to claim as theirs. Kumbaga sa inaaral ko sa Journalism, libel o plagiarism ang katapat nun. Kung sana may ngipin lang din ang batas sa mas maliliit na insidente, ako ang isa sa mga mag-aapila.

    Mas nainis pa ako kasi siya ang nakinabang sa mga ideya at ginawa ko. Di man lang bumalik sa akin kahit rekognisyon man lang kasi nga cli-naim na niyang kanya yun! Siguro naman kung ako ay kayo, maaasar din kayo. Isipin mo na lang, lahat ng pinaghihirapan mo napupunta lang nang ganun sa iba. Parang isyu ng nakawan ng cellphone din yan eh. Ang tagal mong inipon tapos isang dekwat lang, wala na sa kamay mo. Yun nga lang, siguro yung magnanakaw kapos sa pera. Sa sitwasyon ko naman, naisip kong may utak din naman siya ah, sana ginamit niya! Sheez. I'm so sorry for being so provocative. I'm not acting as selfish or being too mean  but what I'm trying to say here is that she could have made her own mark instead of copying mine. Perhaps her inner self could have appreciated it more than being a so-so creator of a replicated act. Napapansin ko na yun noon pa, pinalampas ko lang. Siguro may hangganan lang talaga ang lahat at kailangan ko ng ibukas ang isipan kong nilalamangan na ako nang sobra-sobra.

    Naisip ko din kasing di na rin yun nakakatulong sa kanya kasi lalaki lang siyang aasa sa gawain at ideya ng iba. I hope she's not too numb to ignore that act of hers. I don't know if she's aware of it but God damn it, may retribution teach her the right way! Pagod na akong kaka-pangaral, mamaya ako na naman ang lalabas na masama. It do happens frequently.

    Pampalubag sa nangyaring ito, naisip ko na lang na "imitation is the best implication of patronage." Ngayon mas na-aappreciate ko ang lahat ng ginagawa ko kasi natitipuhan din pala ng iba. Hehe. I guess my uniqueness clicks for the others. That's a complimentary thing on my side. So I guess I'll be thanking her? In a way yes but hey, try to think about the white lies. Then again, I solely believe in Karma. =)

It's so nice to be unique.

It's more appreciative to know that it's YOU and no other you's..

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July 19 2005 | Tuesday | 09:21pm

"LOOSE AND GAIN"

    Pambungad na balita:

Nawalan na NAMAN ng gamit si Shelly!

[Pang-ilang beses na to ah! Holy crap!]

    Hay. Burara na ba talaga ko o marami lang talaga kong ginagawa kaya di ko na napapansing may mga nawawala na pala sa akin? Mala-Deja Vu ang nangyari sa akin kaninang PE. This time my wallet got lost! What happened was that in the middle of my PE class, I was about to get money to buy mineral water but then, I discovered that my wallet wasn't in my bag anymore! I was so sure that it was still in the bag when I left it for the warm-up exercise but shockingly, err.. where the hell it went! Remember few weeks back when I lose earrings which was so sentimental coz it came from Ate Rox?! Dun sa wallet na yun, maraming bagay at alaalang mahalaga din para sa akin ang nawala! - unforgettable pictures with HS buddies, memorable receipts being with *ehem*, CHRISTIAN LUANZON's autograph! [auww sobrang hinayang ko dito! :( ],  and Ate Rox' 1st ever signature. Aubrey even joked me saying, "Bakit laging pag kasama mo kami may nawawalang bigay ni Ate Rox sa yo?! [laughs]." I didn't get sad because of the money loss [because anyway that can be replaced]. I was rather upset  to elude those priceless stuffs! It cannot be retrieved anymore.

    I was about to go home when I came across Ate Ging. I was so down at that time and she asked me why as I shared with her that poignant incident. Thanks to her, I found diminutive relief as she cheered me up a bit through petty jokes. "O?! Paano nawala? Naku.. Mukha ka daw kasing mayaman eh. [laughs]" Haha. Kakatawa pa lalo kasi pabalik pala siyang dorm at naiwan niya ang sapatos niya, eh alam naman niyang mag-ttraining siya. Hehe. So anyways, I was able to inform her too about that magazine feature and she agreed din naman. Last night, Ate Rox also agreed with the said proposal and even bothered to joke me whether she'll get distinction from that feature LOLZ. [Parang di pa siya sikat sa lagay na to di ba! Haha.] Kahit talaga super busy ako ngayon, natutuwa na lang ako sa kanila at napapawi mga pagod ko. =) So I guess that means I would just settle the date when and where I could meet them both for the interview. Hay. I hope we could adjust from one another's schedules! I'm so dead taking so many things at the same time. Grr.

    On the brighter phase of my day, thank heavens I was able to get a satisfying recitation grade in Filipino a while ago! I got 95 and with the way I answered the question, I really got surprised for myself that I simply done well. Naalala ko nung HS ako kapag isinasali ako sa mga quiz bee ng Filipino [yung mga pang-Linggo ng Wika ba] at na-eexempt ako paminsan kapag exams na. Naalala kong dala yun ng inspirasyon kasi crush ko yung titser ko noon. Haha. At siguro ngayon ang nagdala ng inspirasyon ay ang mga alaaala ng nakalipas na yun..

    My report in English was finally over too! And yeah, Sir Satoquia said that my report was very nice. =) My classmates complimented my report too as well-delivered. At mabuti naman nasagot ko ang lahat ng tanong. May Q&A portion kasi after ng reporting eh. Ayun. Whew. Slowly my efforts pay off for a good purpose. I gained more confidence that through hard work and dedication, you'll get what you deserve. I'm still dealing with tons of work but I thought of these as big challenges to myself. I hope I can do it.

    Nalulungkot talaga ko kapag nalalayo sa akin ang mga taong dati kong nakakasama, kaya ganun na lang ako magpahalaga sa mga bagay na nauugnay sa kanila. Dun kasi ako humuhugot ng alaala para magsilbing lakas. Minsan tuloy naiisip kong baka simbolo na ng tuluyang paghihiwalay ang pagkakawala ng mga bagay-bagay. Sana naman hinde kasi alam kong kailangan ko talaga sila. On the other hand, I'm happy that in spite of losses, there comes new things, new experiences to treasure. I hope I could manage to keep them in time. So I guess the moral lesson of this day is "Carpe Diem" - learn to value things until it's there. You'll never know when & where it will loose into your hands.

Wag mong hahayaang mawala siya sa yo nang hindi niya nalalaman koung gaano siya kahalaga at kung paano mo siya itinago.

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July 17 2005 | Sunday | 09:24pm

"THE BREAK"

    So a while ago was a sort of weekday activity because I attended that boring NSTP seminar at the UST Medicine Auditorium. I was at school as early as 7:10am. Buti na lang maaga din si Clara, siya ang kasama kong magliwaliw sa campus habang wala pa yung iba. Haha. So anyways, the topic of the said seminar was on Good Citizenship Values. I didn't grasp much thought on it because the approach was oh-so typical. For almost 2 hours, the speaker was just in front, guided with a text-full powerpoint slide show and yeah, it's as if he's having a monologue. Napag-tripan ko na lang kanina ang P-800 phone ni Teejay dahil may drawing screen ba. Cool. Si Arene naman na katabi ko din ay naaliw sa 'Cupids' game ng phone ko. Nagbasa-basa na din ako ng mga quotes sa cellphone nina Madie habang nabuburaot sa masikip upuan. Wahaha, naubos ko nga ata load nila sa kaka-pasend ko.

    Sa intermission number na lang ata nabuhay ang lahat. Tumugtog ng acoustic songs yung MYPY [stands for Make Yourself Proud of Yourselves. LOLZ!] at grabehan, tinugtog nila yung 'Especially For You' tsaka yung JEEPNEY!!! Oh my! I was just so reminded of someone.. My most favorite line goes, "Bumaba ako sa jeepney, kung saan tayo'y dating magkatabi.." Teejay and Arene laughed at me because I was then blushing and I kept on giggling. Hay. Oo, nakaka-miss ka na din pala...

    So I arrived home at about 1pm na, then I slept for like 3 hours [haha]. I got up a bit sluggish and I feel sick now, honestly. Madali rin akong mauhaw palagi at naisip kong baka magka-sore throat ako. Hay. I read again some lectures and soon I used the computer again to deal with my cyber activities & responsibilities.

    As I opened my friendster account, I got surprised when someone messaged me. It was Ms. Sicat, the feature writer from MOD magazine. By the way, she's was the one who featured me in MOD back in March 2005. It was really a nice write-up I should say. So anyways, she told me that MOD magazine wants to feature the UST team. They've seen the popularity of the V-league I guess. Since I have the access with the team especially with Mary Jean Balse [whom they want to highlight as the feature girl ata], I was then given the break to co-write with that article! She's asking me a favor if I could contact the team to agree upon the said article. There's a schedule of pictorial and interview too. Awesome.

    After reading the message, I replied and yeah, I just can't spell out my thoughts because I'm so happy about it. I told this to my mom as she told me, "See, maybe there's really a reason why you met those folks. You've got the break, and you have a long way to go dear so keep it up." Whew. What an inspiring thought. I tried to ponder on it too. The fact that I'm going to have the break to write something about them in a formal and expository way, that's something. Naisip ko kasing sa lahat ng naidulot na maganda ng pagkakaibigan namin nina Ate Ging, ngayon siguro ang tamang panahon para masuklian yun - na maihayag ko sa pamamagitan ng sining sa panitik kung sino sila at kung bakit sila naging true pride of the UST Athletics. Hay! This is one way again of making volleyball popular in the Philippines. O di ba, ngayon di lang sa website may kuwentong v-league, sa mga magazines na rin. Hehe. Magandang break din ito para sa akin because anyway this is my field. I'm a Journalism Major and I believe that it shall be another ground for me. I must get a hold of this! I'm pretty much excited about this task, though I know that this shall result on too much interfere again with my studies & the computer career as well. Pero hmmf di bale, mukha namang masaya eh! Hehehe.

Beat the streak and don't you go weak! Screech with the break and pull out what you can make!

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July 16 2005 | Saturday | 10:36pm

"MAHIRAP"

    As usual, my Saturday was spent to accomplish school works. I'm done with the Math homework. Slowly, I am able to get over the difficulty of computing and analyzing problems. I also researched for Nat Sci. Oks naman. Kulang pala yung hand-outs sa Journ kaya di ko pa tapos. Mag-rereporting na naman next week. Hay. Ang hirap.

    Meanwhile, I watched UAAP basketball. Talo na naman UST. Bakit ba parang hirap na hirap silang maging consistent sa bawat laro? I mean, they're aggressive naman eh but then they cannot finish well. Napag-iiwanan sila sa huli. Katulad nung sa UP, sayang ang effort nila kanina. Ang galing nila nung una pero grabe, nakalamang ng 12 points ang ADMU. The fight ended up with a 7-point lead. Too bad. And another thing, parang hirap mag-lead si De Guzman. He's the team captain right now but it seems that there's no system going on within the team and maybe that's why the Eagles took advantage of it. Mahirap na ba talaga ibalik ang mga kapanahunang 0-loss ang basketball team ng UST? I recently read an article in the Varsitarian on the continuous transfer of athletes from UST. Nauubusan na ng homegrown Thomasian athletes. Hope IPEA can do something about it. I'm so into sports pa naman talaga ngayon.

    After watching, I decided to go back to the living room and continued my school works. I jotted down notes for Filipino. Di pa kasi ako natatawag sa graded recitation at ang hirap tuloy ng pakiramdam kasi nakaka-kaba. So anyways, biglang naubusan ng tinta ang bolpen ko kaya humingi ako ng perang pambili. Na-sermunan na naman ako ng nanay ko kasi, bakit daw ngayon lang ako bibili ng bolpen at di kanina nung may driver pa. Aba! Eh kasalanan ko bang naubos ang tinta at kailangan bang maya't maya i-monitor ko kung mauubos na siya!! Minsan talaga, ang hirap ding umintindi ng magulang. Lolz.

    Pinaglalakad pa ko ng nanay ko papuntang NBS ah, mahal na daw kasi ang pamasahe. Siyempre ayoko naman kasi mahirap maglakad, tapos madilim na! Haha. So yun, di na ko humingi ng perang pamasahe at ako na lang ang sumagot. I bought 3 refill inks of black pen, an ORANGE highlighter and an ORANGE magic pencil. Grabe, isang iglap lang, naging barya ang P100! Siguro nasa mga P15 na lang yung sukli. Kanina din pala bumili ako ulit ng pagkain sa labas. P100 din ang pera ko, wala ng natira. Haha. Wala ng ngang libre sa mundo. Tag-hirap ang Pilipinas. Too bad.

    So habang nag-rereview ako, naisipan ko lang i-text si Ate Rox. [to the Nth time when there's desolation. Tsk.] Ang kulet niya nga kanina eh at mukhang nasa mood mag-text. Kasama niya daw si Ate Ging kasi may nagyayang manlibre. Tinanong ko kung manonood siya bukas ng UAAP volleyball pero baka hindi daw kasi may pupuntahan siya. May iba pa kaming napag-usapan kanina na medyo nahirapan akong unawain tungkol sa kanya. Nakakapag-taka din talaga. Pero alam mo yun, at least nalalaman ko. Lumalalim na nga siguro ang samahan pero minsan hirap pa rin ako maki-ungkat kasi di ko maintindihan. May mga bagay lang talaga siguro na mahirap kunin mula sa isip at basahin mula pananaw ng iba..

    Kaka-panood ko lang din ng Gothika sa HBO. Hehe. Sabi na eh, ang astig kasi pelikula ni Halle Berry. Nung una medyo nahirapan din akong unawain yung istorya pero nung nagtagal, hayun at ang ganda ng twist! Nakakagulat paminsan-minsan kaya hanggang ngayon mulat ako't palinga-linga sa sulok-sulok ng bahay! Wahaha.

    May seminar bukas ng NSTP. Err, ang aga-aga na naman! Call time is 7:30am at mala-weekday ang araw ko bukas. Hay. Minsan na nga lang dumating ang weekend, bitin pa! Sana naman di masyadong matagal ang seminar. Mahirap bumawi ng tulog noh. Hehe.

    Iba't ibang mukha ng kahirapan, kanya-kayang sitwasyon, kanya-kanya din sigurong solusyon. Siguro nga parte lang talaga ng buhay ang kahirapan at pagsubok lang ng katatagan, pagtitiwala at paniniwala. Naisip ko kasi na walang pagsubok na binibigay si God na di mo kayang lampasan. Isipin mo na lang, madali siya para makaya mo. Hehe. Di ba?! Aja!!!

Sometimes life gets so painful and difficult but it amazes me to feel that no matter how hard it is, thinking about you is one of the reasons why I tell myself to keep on going!!!

[mahirap sabihin nang diretsahan pero ito ay para kay... EHEM!]

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July 15 2005 | Friday | 08:45pm

"SOPHISTICATED"

    I've just eaten my dinner, courtesy of McDonald's. Boy, how yummy it was and I'm still sipping on the last ounces of Coke. On the other hand, my pocket was left empty again! These past few days I've been running after the sumptuous meals. I just don't know why.

    As planned, we ate at Max Restaurant in Dapitan for lunch a while ago. Mga pasosyal talaga eh noh. haha. Ako talaga nagyaya dun, buti naman at pumayag sina Madie, Arene and Dez. At first, there were hesitations to eat there. The fact that the meals are too expensive as that of Shakey's last Monday. But anyway, at least the cost of the food was worth to pay. Nakakabusog at talaga namang masarap! May naiuwi pa nga ako sa bahay eh, manok at shanghai rolls. Isinusumpa man ako nina Arene dahil nabutas ang bulsa nila, okay na rin. Masaya naman kami kanina eh. Maybe we were just too optimistic as we look forward for a weekend. A time to relax a bit and to re-condition our brains.

    So during that meal, I did mention to them while I wanted to eat there. Ang kulit kasi ni Arene, ang reyna ng mga reklamador. Haha. I shared with them one of my philosophies in life - which is to live life to the fullest. And relating it with my passion for food trips, I guess it has been one of my outlets for pampering. I mean, I've been dealing with tons of work all throughout and I guess my body naturally searches for some indulgence once in a while.

    Di lang naman ako sa pagkain ganun eh, kahit sa pagbili ng iba pang produkto. Di nakakatagal sa kamay ko ang pera kasi na-coconvert agad sa isang bagay tulad ng bag, hikaw, cds etc... Spend it until it's worth it. It's your loss if you don't get it. It frustrates me if I don't immediately possess that certain thing. Nag-iipon naman ako paminsan pero nangyayari lang yun kapag may gusto akong bagay na super mahal at kailangang ipunin muna. Di ako nag-iipon para ika nga, "may mahugot pagdating ng kagipitan". I don't see the logic wherein nag-iiipon ka para sa isang bagay na hindi mo alam kung para saan yun! Di ba! Haha. May instances pa na kapag alam ng mga taong nag-iipon ka, uutangan ka. At kung sa mas malas na sitwasyon pa, nawawala o na-mimisplace ang inipong pera. Saklap di ba..

    I'm honest to admit that I'm a brand whore. If I really have the money, I go and spend it up to the last centavo. It doesn't matter if it is expensive, at least I was satisfied and it was worth to leave a smile on my face. Last night, Ate Rox was still telling me about that Victoria perfume. Actually, I was surprised when she texted me that way. I felt the appreciation. Enjoy na enjoy daw siya talaga sa paggamit nung binigay ko. At haha, sabi pa niya, feeling niya ay malulungkot siya kapag naubos na. Ang kulit! Hehe. That's what I've been trying to say regarding living a life in sophistication. I mean, even though an item is quite expensive, it still pleased the recipient.

    Tama din nga siguro ang sinabi ni Ma`am Rodriguez noon. Kung gusto mong umangat nang konti sa iba, mag-Ingles ka. For me, that's another way of being sophisticated. I shared this idea too at Max. I speak in English when instances come that you want to gain immediate respect. Just try to observe in the malls that when you speak in English, sales lady would entertain you more as compared to the usual Tagalog speakers who would usually say, "Miss, anong size to? Miss.. Miss.. Hoy!" It's funny but that's reality. Also, I insist speaking English to get over shame. I remembered last night when I chatted in YM. I told this thing to Jean eh, haha kakatawa pa rin. I was then fixing my list when I encountered an unknown ID under the Volleyball Mates group. So I messaged that ID and asked who he or she was. I thought she was a volleyball fan, unaware that she was Jean Espolong! [San Sebastian Player, jersey 09] Wahaha. Kakahiya talaga. Sa lahat ng mapapagkamalan ko, isang volleyball player pa. Oks lang naman daw eh, siyempre di ko naman talaga akalain. Pero para medyo mawala yung nakakahiyang thought, I conversed with her using the English Language. Haha. Palusot pa eh noh. ;p

    In order to survive in life, grab all the opportunities, take all the available things. Don't let the day pass without satisfying your needs. Sometimes it's not that bad to get your wants also. It's for the reason that there are certain circumstances in life that would give you the emergence of seizing it.

You can buy all the luxury of this world. But never you can buy the greatest luxury among all - LOVE.

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July 12 2005 | Tuesday | 09:20pm

"SURPRISING"

    From the weather itself, it has given me too many surprises. Early in the morning it was damn hot and yet now, the roads are still wet. Umulan nung hapon. So how was my day? I was surprised for a couple of times.

    Filipino - Oh my. The used to be comical Filipino class turned out as if it was PGC [Phil Gov't & Const] class! We had a heart-pounding recitation time. Akala ko kasi tipikal na diskusyon lang, tipong ang mag-rerecite may plus points. Iba kanina! Nagulat ako! Sabi ni Sir Eros, kapag hindi ka nakasagot sa tanong, gagawa ka ng Synthesis ng buong readings! Ampotah, nakakamatay yun sa sobrang haba. Bukod pa diyan, kahit nagbasa ka talaga, kakabahan ka pa rin kasi ginugulo ni Sir yung pagtatanong. And take note, the readings were not that easy to understand. I even said last time that I wasn't able to finish it because they're too long and exhausting to read. If only I could place them here, you'll see and you'll pity me. Haha.

    Good thing I wasn't called for recitation. Kinabahan lang ako nang konti nung tawagin si Chuchi. Di kasi siya nakasagot, [at aminado naman si Chuchi na di siya masyadong nagbasa] tapos tinanong ni Sir kung sino yung 2 malapit niyang kaibigan. Sinabi ni Chuchi na ako saka si Djhay. Waah, akala ko talaga mapapahamak din ako! Binigyan kami ng deal ni Sir: 1) kung makakasagot ulit si Chuchi, uno (1.0 grade) na kami sa Pinoi pero kung hindi, 2) kasama kaming gagawa ng Synthesis! Chuchi is my friend but in that situation, I really chose to play safe. I said "no" to Sir as well as Djhay. Anyway okay lang naman kay Chuchi, nothing personal or to hurt our friendship. Hehe. Siya pa nga ang nag-sorry sa akin kasi dinamay pa ang pangalan ko at pinakaba ako. Napakamot na lang ako ng ulo sa lahat ng nangyaring kagula-gulantang.

    Kagulat lang din, di ko kasi inasahang mataas ang makukuha kong iskor sa 1st test sa Pinoi. I got 43/50. Naasar lang ako dun sa bonus question. I could have got it. Anyway, kuntento na rin ako kasi ni Sir, una niyang tatawagin yung mga bagsak sa quiz on Thursday. Whew. Slowly, my efforts pay off. And I am happy for it.

    Philosophy - nothing much to be surprised. We had the note-taking session from Ma`am Trocio's powerpoint slides. May quiz na naman sa Thursday. Hay.

    History - Pucha, kulang talaga ay mag-hilik ako sa loob ng klasrum kanina! Parang nag-momomologue na si Ma`am kanina. Wala ng gustong makinig kasi nuknukan ng boring! She discussed the Religions in Asia which was already tackled for so many times back then! Monotonous approach pa ang ginawa niya kaya lalong nakaka-zzz! Wahaha.

    English - Sir Satoquia was surprisingly a bit cheerful today. I don't know why. Kinilig siguro sa mga pa-kuwelang handog ng klase namin tulad ng kay Ruben na niloloko namin sa kanya at yung kay Dez & Djhay. Hahaha! Patawa talaga. How I wish ngayon na lang din ako nag-report at para tapos na. Oh well. Crossed fingers for my reporting, that he may be on the mood again.

    PE Class - Siyempre masaya because I always enjoy sports! Sa loob ng IPEA kami ulit, umulan nga kasi. At sa pag-aakalang tutunganga to death na naman, aba maya-maya pinakuha ni Sir yung mga bola tapos nag-game kami! Medyo nakakahiya kasi ang daming taong nandun pero nung huli nakakatuwa din. Blue team pala ko, jersey 20, center. Nanalo kami kanina, 8-2 ang score wahehe. So besides the PE class, here's a funny moment.

    Of course, the volleyball team was there again. Naka-chika ko si Ate Ging. Wahaha, kahit kelan talaga panalo sa joke2 si nya! Natatawa na naman ako mag-isa ngayon. Pagkatapos ng PE, nag-favor sina Dian, Cyrin, Aubrey, Lesley & Dolly [my PE mates] na ipakilala ko sila kay Ate Ging. Eh nandun rin lang si Ate Ging sa locker room, pinuntahan ko. Tinawag ko siya, tawa pa nang tawa at di ko alam kung anong ginagawa niya dun sa loob. So I said, "Ate Ging! may papakilala ako sa yo!" Lumabas siya tapos yun, pinakilala ko sila isa-isa. Siyempre mine-morize pa niya kung sinu-sino sila kaya ang tagal. Haha. Niloloko pa niya yung name ni Aubrey, Aubrey Miles daw wahaha! Kakatawa talaga siya. Pagkatapos nun, sinabi ko, "Ayan kilala mo na sila, sino naman ako?" Hay naku! Niloko din ako at sinabi niya, "Di ko kilala toh, sino ba toh?" Wahaha! I kept on moving away from her as she chased and hugged me for several times. Wibster pa rin ang tawag niya, tuluyan nang nakalimutan ang tunay na pangalan ko! Harhar. Hahah. Then I told her, "Hmmf, tampo na ko sa iyo! Sumbong kita kay Ate Rox haha!"  Tapos sagot niya, "Wala na naman dito si Ate Rox eh!" [laughs] Barado ako! Pinakita ko yung jersey shirt ko sa PE where my surname was imprinted. Apelido ko naman inasar niya, "Di-ma-cu-la-ngan. Ang haba ah, pero di ka talaga nagkukulang sa pangalan!" HAHAHA! Lalo pa kaming nagtawanan habang kunwari sinisipa-sipa ko siya. Ang kulit. Tapos maya-maya, nagtanung-tanong na sina Dian about sa games, her course, etc. Kinuwento ko rin na madalas kong kausap kapatid niya. Nagulat din siya kasi di niya akalain. Hehe. Kaaliw lalo kasi nakaakbay pa rin siya sa akin nung mga panahong yun, naaalala ko tuloy kapag si Ate Rox ganun sa akin. Hay ka-miss. Di ako nagkamaling ipakilala ang napaka-kalog na si Ate Ging sa mga friends ko. =)

    Sana walang pasok bukas! May malawakang protesta daw ng mga estudyante eh. Pero kung hindi man, sana maulan bukas. Haha. [ang sama talaga eh noh?!] Di na ko magugulat kung mabilis na lulubog sa baha ang UST. Tsktsk. Para naman makapag-pahinga ako sandali.. Hay..

Would you be surprised if I say I MISS YOU? Would you be stunned if I say I STILL CARE FOR YOU? I guess there are just too many revelations when I THINK OF YOU..

[para sa kanya..*  Ching! *]

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July 11 2005 | Monday | 10:21pm

"ANG KAPANGYARIHAN NG KOMUNIKASYON"

    Isang reading na lang ang di ko nababasa sa Pinoi. Gusto ko man tapusin dahil sabi ni Madie, lahat yun kasama sa recitation, pagod na talaga ko. Bagsak na ang mga mata ko. Kulang na lang eh maging sinlaki ng eyebugs ko ang eyebugs ni Aquilino Pimentel. Hehe. ;p [talagang Pimentel eh noh?! lolz!] At least, I understood a couple of ideas and points regarding the articles. Naihambing ko pa tuloy sa totoong buhay - na ang laki nga pala ng halaga ng komuniikasyon sa buhay ng tao.

    Sabi sa mga artikulong nabasa ko, "ang wika ay isang mahalagang kasangkapang pang-komunikasyon," paulit-ulit yung sinabi dun. Totoo naman eh. At maraming paraan ng komunikasyon, di lang sa wikang nabibigkas ng bibig.

    Buti na lang pala noh, naimbento ang cellphone. Sa mga simpleng text, nakaka-konekta ka pa rin sa mga taong malayo sa iyo. Busy talaga ko ngayon. Di ko sila makausap nang matagal kaya kahit simpleng paramdam lang sa text, naipaparating ko pa rin ang mga salitang, "I still want to keep in touch." Nakakatuwa naman at nagsisi-reply sila lalo na yung mga taong malapit sa puso ko. Oo, ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Yung tipong kahit hikahos ka na, may mga saglit na panahong magpapagaan ng loob mo, na bubuo sa pagkakapiraso mo. Konting kuwentuhan, koting tawanan, kahit sa text lang.. malaking bagay na yun para sa akin!

    Nasalubong ko pala kanina si Ate Ging sa tapat ng AB building. Sandali lang talaga kaming nagkausap, kasi kakain na kami nina Chuchie. Bukod pa dun, eh may klase daw siya. Pero sa mga simpleng ngiti, kaunting wika man, naka-konekta pa rin. Right timing yun kasi medyo malungkot ako kanina eh. Ate Ging has been a good friend to me. Pag nakikita ko siya, naaalala ko din yung mga vleague friends ko lalo na nung nagtatawanan kami sa Tokyo2. May mga bagay kasi na nagpapaiyak sa akin kapag nasa loob ako ng klasrum -  feeling ko kasi di ko kaya ang 1st sem, ang baba palagi ng scores ko, di ako maka-focus. I'm being frank and transparent on this. Wala na kasi akong ibang paraan kung paano ko iwiwika ang tunay na kalungkutan..

    Sa kabilang dako, natutuwa na naman ako sa friendster.com. This is another way to connect with people! Madalas ko pa ring kausap si Che sa friendster. New friend has come along the way. I do loose in touch with some, but hey! here comes an alternative ika nga. Ang kulit nga niya mag-message palagi eh, at tawagin daw ba akong ate?! [haha] Eh mas matangkad pa ata siya sa akin. Wahehe. Nababaitan talaga ako sa kanya at naghahanap rin lang siya ng kaibigan sa campus, kaya naisipan kong baka pwede kong punan yun. =)

    Ayoko ng mamulitika pero total rin lang eh napag-uusapan ang komunikasyon, yun ata ang kulang sa bansa natin. Napadaan kami nina Madie sa grupo ng mga Tomasinong rallyista, anti-Gloria na rin sila bagama't ang stand ng CBCP ay ang due process of law. Kung ako tatanungin, ang patuloy na pagkakawatak-watak ng mga diwa at ideyal ng mga Pinoy ang siyang magpapalala sa sitwasyon. Bakit ba hindi magkaisa at magkaroon ng maliwanag na komunikasyon ang bawat isa? Hay ewan. Basahin nga nila ang notes ni Sir Atalia.

Ang di pagkakaunawaan ay dahilan ng minumutang mata, bungal na bunganga at tengang puro luga!!!

-Anonymous-

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July 09 2005 | Saturday | 08:58pm

"TINKER WITH THE RAIN"

    So the rain began to fall again, I'm sipping on a glass of Coke and eating a slice egg pie. Gloomy atmosphere for a repulsive-to-excitement Saturday. I was just at home all-day. I feel a bit gloomy.

    As usual, I got stuck on school works. I read a couple of lectures again. Though a bit hesitant and prefers to use the internet more often, I just decided to do it. Anyway there's no choice coz if I refuse to, things might pile up later. I'm pretty nervous about that English reporting on Thursday. Ewan ko ba. Matagal na ulit akong hindi nag-rereport in class. Bukod pa diyan, eh ang lupet ng titser ko. Mamaya ayaw niya ng report ko tapos barahin pa ako ng sandamakmak na so-so accented english questions niya. Hay. Ang hirap nga naman talaga maging estudyante. It pays to be a consistent student really.

    UAAP opening pala kanina. Napanood ko lang sa TV at di ko naman talaga binalak na manood talaga nang live. Overall champs pa rin ang UST [both in juniors & seniors] at siyempre, 3-peat winners ang Salinggawi Dance Troupe. That's something to be proud of as a Thomasian and that's why I bothered to watch that TV coverage a while ago. Sana nga totoong i-tetelevise yung UAAP Volleyball. Dun siguro ako makakakita ng excitement sa laro ng UST. Haha. Medyo gloomy ang line-up ng basketball namin ngayon eh. Kanina nga eh natalo UST sila. It was against UP who ended season 67 as 5th place compared to UST na 7th. Tsk. Di na ako umaasa na aarangkada nang husto ang Growling Tigers. Puro rookies kasi ngayon, wala sina Luanzon / Vizcarra, at naku napaka-lakas lang talaga ng ibang kopunan. Pero in fairness kanina ha, parang may laban din naman sila. Di mo basta-bastang ma-jjudge na 8th at mangungulelat ang UST sa basketball. Oh well. I still wish the team good luck. Anyway it's still a Thomasian pride on all angles.

    Ni-rereplay na naman ang sinumpang finals sa v-league. Gah. I irately turned off the TV immediately. I don't want to witness that rubbish and miserable game again. I guess it would just give some squint of tears if I will recall all the bad calls and the rest of the bad luck. Sheez.

   Pumapatak na naman ang ulan sa bubong ng bahay. Di maiwasan ang sakit na nararamdaman.

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July 08 2005 | Friday | 07:17pm

"HULI"

[bear with the lengthy entry again, I wasn't able to update for a week!]  

    When you've reached the conclusion, that's when you grasp a lot of things. Last moments stay longer. It's better late than never.

    I woke up a bit exhausted for the reason that I wasn't able to get enough sleep last night. I reviewed my lectures for today's quiz in Math and thank God I survived but still, shivers on the impending results! By the way, I watched the v-league finals yesterday that's why I went home so late and I failed to study hard. [I shall expound on the v-league story later.] So anyways, the rest of this day was kinda okay. Buti na lang at nagsisi-absent ngayon ang mga professors namin [haha]. Na-dedelay at nahuhuli ang pagbabasa ng notes, assignments, at quizzes. Kahit alam kong kami ang talo dun dahil di kami natututo, natutuwa na rin akong medyo nahuhuli kami sa pag-aaral dahil patong-patong ang mga gawain! Grr. Sometimes, I just can't bear to handle everything!

    Maaga akong nakauwi dahil nga sa walang last period [which was Nat Sci.. I guess Sir Olivar went to the moon again! LOLZ!] Nakabawi ako ng tulog. Noon lang ako ulit nakatulog nang mahimbing. Sa dami ng ginagawa, nakalimutan ko na atang humilik at managinip. Pagka-gising ko, pumunta akong Socialite. Huling driving lessons ko na kanina. I went through a 5-hour session all in all, I really learned a lot until the end. To sum up things, I realized in the end that as a driver, it entails huge responsibility - because there are embedded life and property risks. You have to be keen at all times.

    Habang naglalakad pauwi, ang dami kong napagtanto. Noon lang ulit ako nakapag-isip-isip kasi noon lang din talaga ako nagka-panahon. Ang dami na palang nangyari sa isang linggo ko.

    Nag-PE ako nung Tuesday 3-5pm. Wala nanaman kaming ginawa kasi bukod sa umuulan, may tune-up basketball game sa IPEA [UST Gym]. Pina-panood na lang kami ng prof namin. And yeah, ang saya kasi may Yellow Jackets! [chant & drums ng UST] Besides that, I also saw the debonair Luanzon again [tsktsk] and the rest of the fafable basketball players! The familiar v-league players were also there, 5:30pm kasi ang training nila. Nakausap ko pa nun si Che kasi hinahanap ko si Ate Ging [na wala pa daw]. By the way, Che is Ate Ging's younger sister who happens to be a volleyball player too of UST. I bet she's gonna follow the footsteps of her superb sister. Nababaitan din ako sa kanya kasi simula nung mag-dinner kami sa Tokyo2, we got along well. We often meet in campus.

    On the other hand, a heartrending incident crop up. Siguro dahil sa kaka-galawgaw ko nun, sa huli ko na lang nalaman na nawawala na pala yung kapares ng hikaw ko! I don't know if I dropped it somewhere. Ang pinaka-masaklap, YUN ANG HIKAW NA BIGAY NI ATE ROX! >.< Naisip ko tuloy noon kung lapitin ba ko ng malas o talagang hindi destined ang hikaw na yun para maging alaala ni Ate Rox sa akin. I just can't imagine that of all the kikay stuffs that I own, [I have lots really] that sentimental earring was the thing that got lost pa! =( It took me hours searching for it. Tapos na ang PE class, naghahanap pa rin ako sa mga bleachers. Too bad I wasn't able to find it. I was about to go home when heavy rain came! So I was still stuck on that miserable gym. I found some redeem when I saw Aubrey & Cyrin [classmates ko sa PE] who entered the gym to watch the volleyball training! Nagkaroon tuloy ako ng kasama kaya nag-stay na naman ako dun. Nakausap ko nun si Ate Ging. Sa kanya ko naman hinanap si Ate Rox. Haha. Katuwa. Maya-maya, dumating na rin si Ate Rox. Nakaupo lang kami sa gilid habang sina Aubrey ay naaaliw kay Joyce Pano [HAHA]. I tried to call Ate Rox who was running around the gym at that time. Katuwa namang she shouted back with a huge smile saying, "Uyy! Shellyyy! Nandito ka!". Ang ngiting yun ang nagpasuko sa aking tigilan na ang pagka-lumbay sa nawalang hikaw. Hay. The rest of the events was history.

    My Wednesday was as bad as hell. I even recall that joke with Madie saying that I really have to consult a Feng Shui master to remove all the bad lucks! Tsk. Paano ba naman, tinambakan kami ulit ng readings! Bukod pa dun, ang tagal naming naghintay at nagutom sa library para sa photocopy ng lectures. Bibili din sana ko ng libro nung araw na yun pero biglang nag-sarado! I questioned my faith in positivism. I just don't know what's wrong with my being; that life punished me that hard. Tsk. But then again, it was at the end when all of my questions were answered.

    Nagulat ako nang may mag-text sa akin nang tanghaling tapat. Bihira kasi yun lalo pa't school day. Uggh.. and guess who? Ate Rox was at the right time of making me smile again! Hay! She asked me whether I'm going to watch their game because she's giving me something.. Kung noon nag-aalinlangan pa akong manood, dahil dun mas naganahan ako. It was in my instincts that UST might not make it. So I went home hurriedly. That night, I pumped all my nerves to study in advance for Friday. I knew I won't be able to focus on Thursday because of the game.

And yeah, that memorable and last v-league day finally came..

    1pm ang tapos ng klase ko nung Huwebes. Dumiresto na agad ako at di na umuwi ng bahay. Iniwan ko pa nga sa dorm ni Joan yung pinag-bihisan ko. Haha. Ayoko kasing naka-uniform pag nanonood ng games. So anyways, I met with Kc at Mcdo Taft, gusto din daw niya kasi manood kaya sinama ko. We've decided to eat at SM Harrison because there were too many customers at Mcdo Taft. 3pm na nang makapasok kami ng Rizal. Pucha, ang daming tao talaga nun! But somehow, I felt the stardom of volleyball and realized that many are hooked to it already just like in basketball! Both UST and DLSU pep were there along with the huge drums and loud shouts! Wuhoo! Ang saya talaga! My group was also whacky, carrying some banners for UST. Haha. Regarding the game, ughh I just can't accept the bad calls against UST! They could have won the 4th set if it wasn't the calls of that stupid linesmen who labeled Balse's spikes as out or no touch. It was very sad. My team that I'm rooting for since then got beaten. Di ko napigilang maiyak sa balikat ni Kc. Naisip ko kasi ang pakiramdam ng pinaghirapang laro, na akala mo maaabot mo na ang tugatog pero kapos pa rin pala sa huli. Masakit yun, lalo na siguro kay Ate Rox na sa kanya pa nanggaling ang last point error. Pero sabi nga, defeats are always part of the game. It's a learning-material actually. At the end, I decided to raise my fist as I sang the UST hymn. I recalled all the memories from the start up to the end of that league - the pain & the glory moments of all the volleyball matches, the way I got close to my idols, the friendship built among my v-league buddies, the dinner nights, the Harrison getaways, the LRT trips, the view of Rizal Coliseum, I'm sure to miss them after some time.

    [This was the fleeting moment again!] We waited for Ate Rox at the dug out. Though exhausting, I managed to. So after 48 years of waiting, lumabas na rin siya. Tinawag ko siya, nakita niya ko at yung itsura niya, parang may naalala [na may ibibigay siya]. Nagbigay din pala ko ng Toblerone. Hehe wala lang. When we got near, she said my name again, [how I absorb every moment that Ate Rox says my name! swear!] as she opened the pocket of her bag and got something. Then she said, "O.. eto.." Surprised, I spread my palm as she handed that tiny zip bag containing a pair of cute violet dangling earrings!!! Oh my! I just can't spell my emotions. Another self-crafted earrings from my idol. Hay talaga. I promised myself to take extra care of that earrings! Later on, we took some pictures again and how I appreciated her time for us. Hay. Paalis na siya nang magka-patayan na naman ng ilaw [haha] kaya lumapit ako sa kanya at naki-ilaw ako sa cellphone nya. Haha. That was the perfect time to thank her for the entities at its ends. She thanked me too. As I tapped her on the shoulder, she smiled, while I almost wanted to cry. I made beso-beso with her in spite of sweat. How I want to set the time to death. What a moment to end the game.. the game of finding the ideal friend and sister. Luckily, I found one at the end.

     Nag-stay pa kami sandali sa labas ng Rizal. In fact, Ana was able to introduce us to Vida and Vhen [again haha]. Ewan ko ba, kakahiya pa rin kay Vhen lalo pa't nasabi ni Ana na takot ako sa kanya. Lolz. How ironic di ba? Pang-abot lang kami sa height ni Vhen pero intimidated ako. Iba lang talaga impression ko kay Vhen noon pa. So anyways, nakasama pa namin ulit si Ate Rox sa labas. Nakakatawa nung may mga fans na nagtatanong ng cel num niya. Naririnig ko kasi ang pag-dictate niya at naisipan ko lang siyang sabayan kasi saulo ko din number nya [haha!]. Tamang joke pang nasa likod niya ko at para akong echo. Lolz. Natawa siya sa akin. Pinalo pa ko nang pabiro [hehe] tapos sabay akbay. HAY NANAMAN! >.< Nasabi ko na lang sa kanya, "Ate Rox, kelan ka ulit namin makikita?" [with the pout] Sabi niya, "sa UST.." Pero alam kong mahirap mangyaring magkatagpo kami dun. Di ko talaga alam kung kelan ulit mangyayari ang mga sandaling ganun, na kaakbay ko siya, na ka-tawanan namin siya. I knew that might be the last few moments to be with her. I don't know if she will play for the next v-league. I don't know if she can drop a visit in UST and meet her. She might be too busy for the SEAGAMES this November so chances that I might not be able to converse with her more often. Hay. Umaambon na nun kaya sabi ko magpayong siya. Sinunod naman niya kaya naisipan na rin niyang umalis na. Habang papalayo na siya, tinitigan ko na siya nang matagal. Sa huling paglingong yun, sumabay ang pagkadama ko ng pasasalamat at nakilala ko siya. Totoo. Ang laki ng nagawa ni Roxanne Pimentel. Sa huli, di ko pinagsisihang naging masugid na taga-suporta ako ng volleyball.

    Kumain kami sa Pizza Hut nina: Bang, Diah, Ana, Kim, Kharoll, Franchell and Nika. Happy moments to the max again. Kung anu-anong napag-kuwentuhan namin, may tungkol pa sa mga multo. Hehe. Nanood pa kami ng Shakey's V-league sa loob ng Pizza Hut. Wahaha di ba! Tulad ng ibang players na nakilala ko sa liga, di ko rin akalain na ganun talaga ka-cool sina Bang at Diah, to think that they're Letran players who used to appear on TV. Ka-tropa na rin namin sila ngayon and I'm thankful. [Mga anak ng v-league as said by Diah. Haha.] Hope to have some bonding moments again with my volleyball pals soon. Nood naman kami NCAA nina Diah. Hehe.

    Never regret if you fail. Never fail so you won't regret. It's a battle of the strong and the weak. In the end, the greater scheme of things goes to the survivors of belief.

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July 04 2005 | Monday | 06:52pm

"IMPROMPTU"

IMPROMPTU

as you race, as you run, as you interfere..

all a while you thought you're on your way..

you've earned the passion, the will, the energy..

yet things aren't enough..

you seem to question all sorts of confusion..

what simply went wrong..

where are the lacking pieces

and why things pushed the other way around..

it startles my mentality..

it breaks my spirit..

it deviates my belief..

and what's left were heaps of doubt..

so distressed that at the end of this road..

i shall accept such throb..

things happen for a reason..

no matter what the reason may be..

Can't bear to watch how the dice rolls. My ankle damn hurts still. UST lose in 4 sets against DLSU. Driving lessons delayed once more and my efforts were wasted as I went there. Not to mention also the tons of school works to deal with. I keep my faiths up yet in the end, I am experiencing these stuffs! >.< No doubt that I have written such melancholic impromptu piece. I don't want to expound more on this. Naiiyak lang ako. Naiinis lang ako lalo. Siguro mali lang talaga na umasa ako nang malaki para gumanda ang araw na ito.

I just darn hate when things depart this way!!!

It's really hard to hold unto something which is not for you.

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July 02 2005 | Saturday | 09:12pm

"PUT TO REST"

    I felt an existent weekend today. I experienced enough sleep, time was not under pressure and I was able to set aside the serious matters temporarily. This was the perfect time to recreate and redeem myself from extreme fatigue.

    Ngayon lang ulit ako nakapanood ng TV nang matagal-tagal. Na-reshuffle na pala ulit ang channels ng Home Cable. Nung isang linggo pa daw yun ganun pero ngayon ko lang talaga nalaman. Haha. At first, I was kind of confused on the remote control but after I spent hours of being a coach potato, I seemed to like the rearranged channels! I was glad to see new channels such as the Disney Channel. How I missed the shows especially Art Attack and Funny Home Videos. Hehe. Later on, I decided to turn the TV off already because I have to dress up for my 3rd day driving lessons.

    Minsan pala, nakakasawa ding mag-drive! Haha. Kung dati ay kating-kati ako sa pagmamanibela, aba.. kanina ay nanawa ako. Dalawang oras kasi ang session. Nanakit ang likod ko't nangalay pa ang mga binti ko. Nakaabot na nga kami sa may Vito Cruz eh! Ang saya kasi dun ako madalas pumunta kapag manonood ng v-league o pupuntang DLSU. Hehe. Kaya ko na palang marating yun sa pamamagitan ng pagmamaneho ko. Can't wait to have a professional license and to drive on a personal car! Wuhoo! Then I would bring along my friends and gimmick everywhere! =)

    So my lessons ended at 5:30pm. I decided to hear mass. I really loved the priest's uplifting sermon. It stroke right through my life. I wont forget when he said the lines, "God will put you to rest and would continue to help you along the way.." Through that, I felt like God discoursed me with heaps of inspiration. I found some hope for all my petitions and right away, He granted one - I was given the quality rest for today. I hope He continues to answer my prayers. For so much reason, I was in candle area for such a long time.

For all the evil that surrounds me, defend me.. And when the call of death arrives, bid me come to Thee that I may praise with Thee thy sake.. Forever..

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July 01 2005 | Friday | 06:01pm

"THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!"

    I'm happy that after a week-long stumble, Friday finally came. Well I guess most of the students really like Fridays. It marks the end of a 5-day dealing with school matters and you'll get the chance to do some getaways after class. As for me, this day has been more gratifying than I ever thought. Beyond the delight of resting from school works and experiencing some quality weekend, there were more reasons why I am cheerful today.

    For the past few days, everything seemed so topsy-turvy. In fact, there was a time when  I caught myself baffled whether to smile or to frown. When school matters, my mood decreasingly changes. I'm so sick of reviewing lectures! Ang nakakainis pa dun, kapag nag-exam na o tinawag ka na para mag-recite, palpak ka pa! Ang baba ng nakuha kong score sa Math! Ang pangit ng recitation ko sa English! Grr. Mapapaisip ka - mas matatanggap mo siguro ang kapalpakan kung di mo na lang pinaghandaan! Terrible situation for a pessimist like me isn't it? But anyways, in spite all, I can slowly recover from every frustration with the help of my whacky friends, campus crushes [yihaa!] and the other notable peepz in UST. They're my source of laughter and smiles really. Nagaganahan na lang ako kapag nakakasama ko sila sa inaraw-araw. Kahit pupungay-pungay ang mga mata ko, kahit masakit ang katawan ko at kahit masama ang pakiramdam ako, nakakakita pa rin naman ako ng liwanag para pumasok sa eskwela.

    Ang tagal ko palang di naka-update ng entry. Ang dami ng nangyari sa buong linggo bukod sa pagpasok sa iskul. My driving lessons was continued today. Supposedly, I must have drove last Wednesday but Kuya Robert [my trainer] wasn't around. Anyway, my driving skills were a way better right now. Yipee. Di na ko masyadong malakas pumreno, alam ko na ang half-breaks at bihira na lang ako mamatayan ng makina. I'm improving and that's something to cheer about. I guess next time, I must focus on the lane concentration naman. Madalas kasing pasayaw-sayaw ang manibela ko. Hehe.

    Before attending that driving lesson, I met up with Franz [Hs friend] at Mcdo Banawe which was near STC [former school]. I borrowed a notebook from her that I shall need for Nat Sci and she also did borrow my Hs Filipino notebook. So while eating, then again I met some familiar Theresian faces. Ughh. How time flies. They've grown-up. How I appreciated their petty hi's and kamusta's. Nagparamdam pa kamo ang alaala ng HS nang ipatugtog sa radyo ang "Rainbow" at "How Did You Know". Talk about right music at the right time! Those were the songs that remind me of HS bygone days. Actually those were my dedicated songs for my HS puppy-love like crush before. Hehe! Anyways, maaga kaming natapos kumain ni Franz kaya naisipan naming pumunta ng STC. At habang naglalakad kami, natapilok ako HUHUHU!!! It hurts up to now and I hope it won't get worse! Nakakahiya pa tuloy kasi yung laglag ko, ang sagwa haha. Nasa kalsada pa naman kami. Sana naman walang nakakitang kakilala ko!

    Nung sa STC na kami, nag-ikot-ikot lang kami sa HS building. How I miss my days there. I've been gone there for almost 2 years but still, it seems that the memoirs are still fresh from the mind & heart. I remember those times when I run along the wide corridors, laughing at senseless stuffs then my teacher would caught me and would say, "Si Shelly o, in-love  na naman!". Haha. Too bad I wasn't able to speak with the teachers close to me. They had a meeting. Only Ma`am Valdivia was around. Sa kanya na lang ako nakibalita. Ang dami na ulit pagbabago. Nakakatuwang nakaka-miss!

    Di pa pala dun natapos ang saya ng araw ko. Pauwi na ako galing driving lessons nang buksan ko ang inbox ko. Someone texted me. The message went like, "Shelly! Salamat sa Victoria, grabe naloka ako nung nakita ko! He he he! Mas lalo akong nabaliw at 2 pa! Kakahiya naman pero salamat talaga!" I didn't expect that Ate Rox would text me at that time. Hay. Nakapag-kuwentuhan kami ulit. Naloka daw siya kasi bigating regalo daw. Ahaha. Hay. Inakala kong nakalimutan na niya ko mula sa insidenteng nangyari kahapon...

    I forgot to tell that I watched v-league yesterday. UST surprisingly won against DLSU. They were down 2 sets and they managed to come back in 3 sets! History in the making, as very well said by the commentators awhile ago while watching the TV replay. Though it was a no-bearing game, it can surely heighten up confidence for UST on the Finals! I hope they win and yeah, how I wish I could catch the games live. Err. Venue is at Makati Coliseum, di ko naman alam kung saan yun! =(

    So anyways, after the game, we TRIED to get near the players. Sadly, we failed to! Ang daming taong nagpapa-autograph at nagpapa-picture with the UST players. In demand ba. May ibibigay pa naman ako nun kay Ate Rox at gusto ko siyang makausap kasi ang tagal ko siyang di nakita. Habang tinitignan siya sa gitna ng ga-bundok na tao, nasabi ko na lang ang linyang, "you're so close but still a world away.." Oo totoo yun. Napag-kuwentuhan nga namin ni Ana nun na ang hirap na talagang lumapit sa kanya ngayon. Sikat na kasi ang vleague. More fans, more spectators. Later on, napadaan na si Ate Rox sa amin pero sandali lang talaga yun. Isang letrato, kaunting salita at saka inabot ko sa kamay niya yung paper bag ng Victoria's Secret. I gave her 2 perfumes by Victoria. We bought this from the States pa. I thought of this because anyway she loves color purple and yeah, she's now a big star player, she must smell good all the time. Lolz.

    Pagkatapos nun, parang bulang nawala na siya. Inasahan ko yun pero inamin kong nalungkot ako nang konti. =/ Nasanay kasi akong madalas siyang kausap at kabiruan. Naiba talaga ang scenario kagabi. Maya-maya pa, umalis na rin kami. Kumain kami ng KFC nina Nika, Jean, Rhea, Ana at ang patawang si Ate Flor! [haha] Bagong recruit namin at bumenta ang kakulitan niya sa akin. Napawi nang kaunti ang lungkot at pagod. Pagkauwi ko ng bahay, naghintay ako ng text. Di siya nagtext. Siguro nga ga-mundo na ang agwat namin ng ideal sister ko.    ..pero haha, ngayon pala siya magtetext kasi walang load kagabi.

    Tulad ng 5-setter game ng UST-DLSU, things are not yet over until the whistle blows! The recent days of the weeks may be as if hell but hey, I feel much better this Friday! Ang dami kong napatunayan, ang dami kong nalaman at ang dami kong naranasan. Biyernes. Sana lagi na lang Biyernes.. o di kaya'y sana'y ang bawat araw ay sing-saya na lang ng Biyernes. Thank God it's Friday.

You'll never know the end until you'll get through it.

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