Little Jimmy and His Goldfish

One day Little Jimmy is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asks. Little Jimmy replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him." "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. Little Jimmy shouts back, "That's because he's inside your fucking cat!"

Indefinitely

A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence. Well, Little Jimmy has his hand raised in the back of the class. But the teacher knows he's a trouble maker and that he doesn't know the answer, so she calls on Jack. Jack replies, "Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely." "Good" the teacher replies. "What about you Jenny?" Jenny says, "Since the bus broke down, transportation was stopped indefinitely." The teacher then says that the sentence was too much like the other one, and she asks if anyone can use it in a different way. So there's Little Jimmy waving his hand. And the teacher thinks ... (Maybe he really does know the answer), so she calls on him. Jimmy stands up and says, "As I felt my balls slap off her ass, I knew that I was in definitely!

Little Jimmy in Love

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Jimmy, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With YOU!" he said. "But Jimmy," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child." "Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"