Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and a Supermarket Trolley?

A: A Supermarket Trolley has a mind of it’s own!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and the Titanic?

A: Only 1,000 men went down on the Titanic!

Q: What’s an Essex Girls idea of safe sex?

A: Keeping the hand brake on!

Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex?

A: Do you all play for the same team?

Q: How does an Essex Girl turn on the light after sex?

A: She opens the car door!

Q: How do you know when an Essex Girl has an Orgasm?

A1: She drops her nail-file!

A2: Who cares?

A3: She says, "Next".

A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder. A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.

A6: The batteries have run out.

Q: What does an Essex Girl use for protection during sex?

A: A Bus shelter!

Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her feet!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and an Ironing board?

A: You have trouble opening the legs on an Ironing board!

Q: Why is an Essex Girl like a washing machine?

A: They both drip when F**cked!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and a Creme Egg?

A: It only costs 24p to lick out a Creme Egg!

Q: What does an Essex Girl do with her arsehole before sex?

A: She takes him down the pub and gets him pissed!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and a Kitkat?

A: You can only get four fingers in a Kitkat!

Q: What’s the difference between a Essex Girl and a Walrus?

A: One has a moustache and smells of fish, the other lives in the sea!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and a 747?

A: There’s only one cockpit in a 747!

Q: What’s the difference between an Essex Girl and a washing machine?

A: You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won’t follow you round for a week!

Q: How does a Essex Girl like her eggs?

A: Unfertilized.

Q: What is the difference between a Essex Girl and the local football team?

A: The Essex Girl has the higher sperm count.

Q: Why is a Essex Girl like a turtle?

A: They are both fucked when they're on their back.

Q: What's a Essex Girl's favorite nursery rhyme?

A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: How do you give a Essex Girl more headroom?

A: Adjust the steering wheel.

Q: What's the difference between a Essex Girl and a taxi cab?

A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

Q: What's the difference between a Essex Girl and the Atlantic Coast?

A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.

Q: What have Essex Girl’s and computers got in common?

A: You don’t appreciate them until they go down on you!