Saturday 10 November

Recently I went to a party of jocks. This is what their parties are like:
-Great sound system (average music; take it over?)
-Free booze
-Buff, shirtless men playing sports
It was amazing*. If any of you uncool people can manage to get invited to one I would say accept.

*the homophobia sort of freaked me out

Tuesday 6 November

All sorts of interesting things have been happening. I met this guy and we got talking and he told me about this movie where this girl really liked this guy and tried to seduce him with her sexy body. In the end it worked and it was supposed to be a happy ending, but he wondered whether the guy was in love with the girl as well or if he just wanted sex. I thought he made a good point. Some other really interesting stuff has happened as well, but either I don't want to talk about it in this most public of forums or I've forgotten.

Tuesday 23rd October

It's sort of depressing that the best likely option for Prime Minister in Australia is openly homophobic.

Tuesday 16 October

This is from my sister's flickr account.

Saturday 6 October

A lot of ladies complain about men leaving the toilet seat up, but I don't really think it's a big deal. Maybe people have had bad experiences where they haven't checked and they've fallen in, maybe it's seen as a symbol of a male-centred society, maybe people just don't like touching the toilet seat, who knows. I think in life women and men have to learn to live together, make concessions, that sort of thing. I'd like the men who read this to think of at least one female not caring about them leaving the toilet seat up next time someone yells at them about it.

Sunday 24th June

It's my sister's 25th birthday today and right now she's in the shower singing different versions of "Happy Birthday to me". She's sung it normal, sad, musical style and like a modern diva would sing it, perhaps, to the Queen. Hip hip hooray!

Saturday 23rd June

What did you do today?

I stubbornly refused to get out of bed. I didn't even put pants on.*

*exaggeration

Thursday 7 June

I found my bike. It seems that I left it in the city one day and forgot about it. Anyway I am extremely glad that it's back.

Bullshit stories told by old people: the death of my Great Aunt Donald or why business is not for the faint of heart.

My great Aunt Donald lived in a sleepy, ex-mining town in outback Australia, indeed the same sleepy, ex-mining town where I grew up. She was named for the great Donald Flynn, though you won't remember him, who was a football star in his day.

Unfortunately for Aunt Donnie, shortly after she was born there was a great backlash against feminism and the town as one decided that they didn't hold with a woman having a man's name like she could hold a man's responsibilities. Being an outcast in the town weakened Aunt Donnie's heart, but strengthened her resolve to make something of herself so she could one day leave that town and what's more show them that a woman can hold a man's position if that was what she really wanted.

The years passed monotonously, as they are inclined to do in a small, country town. As other children played together, laughed together, got into and out of scrapes with each other, Aunt Donnie stuck to her studies and her poor weak heart never strengthened for lack of use. the day came when she had to go to the old watchmaker and ask if he could replace it with the latest wind-up pacemaker.

The old watchmaker was kindly and knew her sorrows. He fixed her up straight away. He didn't much hold with feminism either, but having the best ticking heart in town he told Aunt Donnie that if she wanted to study business she could come back in a few years to do his books for him. He was also shrewd, and as we didn't waste things in those days he sorted it so that her ticking heart powered all of the clocks in town. He reckoned, and I think he was right, that there was no better way to keep the town on time because Aunt Donnie would wind her heart whenever she started to lose blood flow and there's nothing more reliable than the human survival instinct.

Maybe it was the new heart, maybe it was the belief that the old watchmaker had in her, but Aunt Donnie was a new lass from that day forward. She was at that age where everyone around her was falling in love, but of course she was left out of it all. You'd think this would bother her, but she was working so hard to become the first woman in town to gain her high school certificate that she didn't even notice. Even without love her heart ticked strongly.

Graduation day came at last and everyone who was there swears that the clocks were ticking a little bit faster that day. Nobody came to congratulate her except for her immediate family and the old watchmaker, but walking around town you could see that folk were impressed, especially the young girls. Records show that on that day three of them signed up for a library card at the local town library which was a town record, second only to the time in the drought of '82 that old Jack spread the rumour that books made a decent substitute for horse feed.

With no friends and no interests, Aunt Donnie started her study of the ways of business the next day. Now anyone who has studied the ways of business will be able to tell you that reading a business textbook is only slightly more interesting than being unconscious. This was how Aunt Donnie met her end. Determined not to let the old watchmaker down she slaved at those business books despite the grinding boredom. The hours passed and it came to the time when she should wind her pacemaker. unfortunately she could not differentiate the loss of blood to her brain from the experience of reading theories on organisational structure and design. Aunt Donnie died at 2:15 that afternoon.

When Aunt Donnie's heart stopped, so did all the clocks in town. People paused in their conversations to hear what it was that had so subtly changed. Dogs stopped barking because they weren't used to the silence of the people. Because dogs weren't barking and people weren't talking the wind stopped blowing. As one the town experienced Aunt Donnie's horrible end, for in that silence they heard the oblivion that can only otherwise be found in the pages of a business textbook.

Sunday 3 June

If anybody sees my bike anywhere, can they please contact me?

Sunday 6 May

Check this out, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6574753.stm in particular number ten.