This is the stuff that i go by:
Before you get angry:
* Get to know yourself and the attitudes, environments, and behavior which triggers your anger.
*Don't set yourself up to get angry.
*Reason with yourself.
*Learn to relax
*Save your anger for when it is important
When you do get angry:
*Develop coping skills (relaxation, counting, self talk)
*Think- "Is it worth my time and energy?" "What are the consequences?"
*Decide if you want to work it out with the other peson or resolve it within yourself.
*Express anger ASSERTIVELY (be spontaneous; don't let resentment build! State your anger directly.Use honest, expressive language. Let your posture, face, gestures, and voice convey your feelings. Avoid sarcasm! No name calling! No Putdowns! No Pysical Attacks! No Hostility! No Old Issues! No one-ups!
*Express concern Verbally, "I'm angry" "I don't appreciate when you called me those names"
*Schedule some time to work thiings out
*Stick to present specifics
*Work toward RESOLUTION of problem